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The scienticians at the American Association for the Authentication, Assimilation, Ajudication, and Dissemination of Technical Methods (AAAAADTM) have been diligently working on projects to understand the nature of vomit. After many months of data gathering and eating far too much in one sitting, the AAAAADTM can finally release their long-awaited preliminary study regarding human emesis. Over several years these dedicated scienticians have devoted hours of exhausting research to the understanding of What Makes Us Puke. More importantly, and quite unexpectedly, the scienticians at the AAAAADTM discovered different forms of regurgitation, and are currently working to qualify and quantify these occurrences. The Ralph: A standard vomit maneuver, named not for the quality of the vomitus itself, but for the sound it produces. (This was a recurring theme found during our research) The perpetrator produces a huge heave, a massive wave of barf and makes a sound that almost exactly sounds like s/he is trying to say "Ralph'. The Technicolor Yawn: So named due to the fact that the perpetrator appears to be in a yawning posture (albeit facing downward) and the fact that the most recent meal consisted of many foods that are differently colored. This will not happen after a large plate of beans or mashed potatoes. To accomplish the T.Y. one must have something like a hotdog with lots of mustard and relish, Pistachio or mint ice cream, beer and chocolate cake. The Big Spit: Generally produced when one is ill but has not eaten much more than crackers and Seven-up. Produces what at first glance could be mistaken for a massive loogie. Consists primarily of water and mucus. Often rather frothy. Laughing at the Ground: Another sound-based vomit-activity, usually performed outside. Produces wave after wave of vomitus, accompanied by the perpetrator's voice making a series of sounds midway between "Ha ha ha" and "Huh huh huh". The Protein Spill: Usually done after eating lots of meat and little else, produces a stronger-than-average smell that might induce others to join in on the regurgitation festivities. Which brings us to: Riding the Regurgitron: Vomiting done at amusement parks. (Generally not considered amusing.) The Vile Bile: Another vomit event usually experienced when ill. The perpetrator has usually had several bouts of vomiting before this, and has a thoroughly empty stomach. The illness convinces the body to continue attempting to empty said already empty stomach. Massive heaves and painful cramping eventually yield a vomitus consisting sour-tasting yellowish fluid, which is bile from the gall bladder. This generally signals that the already-miserable ill person should strap themselves in for newer and deeper levels of misery. Floating Foam: Vomiting after taking in nothing but far too much beer. The "Iron Eyes Cody": The kind of vomit, that, when completed, leaves you with a single tear running down one cheek. The Pre-planner: Not technically a vomit, but an activity where a future perpetrator recognizes the probability of vomiting in the near future, and eats foods that will either taste better than average coming back up, or will have a more-powerful-than-normal visual impression. The Un-eat: Vomiting immediately after a meal. The Vurp: A burp accompanied by a small amount of vomitus that reenters the throat/mouth of the perpetrator. The Vector Spew: Often people at parties feel the urge to vomit while interacting with other party-goers. The normal reaction is to turn away so as to not puke on the person you are interacting with. Since many vomit incidents occur with little or no warning, the vomiting may occur while the person is rapidly turning away. This will produce a colorful arc of regurgitated material on the floor, which may cover a full 180 degrees. Blowing Chunks: When a meal has been quickly eaten and poorly chewed, the regurgitation may contain many larger-than-normal particles. Works particularly well with vegetable matter. The study and classification of vomit and vomiting is an ongoing process, and the AAAAADTM needs your help. Please add any further classes of regurgitation that you have discovered in your studies. Your input will be added to the register of Human emesis in a future edition of The Journal of Puke and Puking.
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Aug 27, 2023 08:16
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 18:19 |
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The Tactical Chunder: Vomiting after getting bloated and/or nauseous during a heavy drinking session. Afterwards the individual feels surprisingly invigorated, allowing them to continue drinking. Most commonly observed in Great Britain and Australia.
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Aug 27, 2023 09:08
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The Playground Bully: When the vomit experience leaves one calling for the comfort of their mother between combined heaves and sobs.
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Aug 27, 2023 11:13
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The fuel pump: a rare vomiting technique that requires 1. the perpetrator to have a duodenum stricture and 2. said perpetrator to be in the hospital for a CT scan of his digestive tract. The technique derives its name from the fact that soft tissues typically do not show up on CT scans, unless the patient first consumes two large bottles of contrast fluid. Contrast fluid that tastes much like how gasoline smells. The stricture prevents the fluid from leaving the stomach the normal way, causing the patient to expel it like a fuel pump. Hair Cake tingles: the stomach tingles one experiences after watching the eponymous YouTube video.
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Aug 27, 2023 11:39
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Genesplicer you caused enough pain
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Aug 27, 2023 11:49
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Pavement Pizza Delivery: As it sounds, yawking up your pizza/kebab/dinner right outside the club/bar after going too hard on the booze and shots after a greasy meal
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Aug 27, 2023 11:51
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Parking The Tiger: The sound one makes akin to a tigers roar when violently ill after a dodgy taco or shish
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Aug 27, 2023 11:55
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The strawberries and clotted cream When a child gets a nosebleed in their sleep, unknowingly swallows blood during the night, and regurgitates a glob of bloody jelly after drinking milk at breakfast
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Aug 27, 2023 12:42
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Aug 27, 2023 12:53
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The Sofa Throw: Popular with the rotund, bespectacled gentlegoon, this technique begins in a seated position and involves yakking both over one’s T-shirt and over the sofa itself. Advanced practitioners may follow up with a nonchalant lean, as if this were the most natural thing in the world.
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Aug 27, 2023 14:57
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Hershey Kisses: The Hershey flavor vomit
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Aug 27, 2023 15:00
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I had sloppy joes once as a kid then got the flu and threw them up. The spicy sauce came out of my nose and tear ducts and it was awful. I'd like to dub these "The SloppyJoe Throw"
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Aug 27, 2023 16:38
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One time in first grade, a classmate and I were walking the school hallway back to class after lunch and he suddenly clutches his stomach and says, “I don’t feel so good…” before violently throwing up what appeared to be a pound of peaches in syrup mixed with milk. I think I’ll call that one the Peaches & Cream Heave.
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Aug 27, 2023 17:21
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I’ve had gastroenteritis three times in my youth and a large part of my adult life was spent as a binge drinking alcoholic. I’ve experienced almost everything the OP described. Two things you shouldn’t eat when you think you are going to spew: apples or rice. They are painful on the way back up.
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Aug 27, 2023 19:14
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A very rare swing and a miss from Genesplicer.
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Aug 27, 2023 19:18
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This is the real science you should be teaching your kids Gene
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Aug 27, 2023 19:20
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Valko posted:I’ve had gastroenteritis three times in my youth and a large part of my adult life was spent as a binge drinking alcoholic. I’ve experienced almost everything the OP described. Or spaghetti. Nothing like a few inch noodle that wasn't properly chewed coming out your nose
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Aug 27, 2023 19:23
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Calling Uncle Huey: When the only sound you can summon is a "Huueghhh!!" followed by the opening of your guts and a visceral "Eyyyyy!". Handy if your Uncle Huey's missing, inconvenient on every other instance.
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Aug 27, 2023 19:45
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Silent killer - you wake up in a still half drunken stupor and feel something brown and nasty crusted over your face
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Aug 27, 2023 19:55
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Wendigee posted:A very rare swing and a miss from Genesplicer. This thread blows…..chunks
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Aug 27, 2023 22:03
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Elizabeth Hurley: sexiest vomit alive
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Aug 27, 2023 22:12
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BastardAus posted:Parking The Tiger: The sound one makes akin to a tigers roar when violently ill after a dodgy taco or shish tigers don't roar, IDIOT
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Aug 27, 2023 22:45
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Toxic Mental posted:This is the real science you should be teaching your kids Gene You'd be surprised how often stuff like this comes up in class. And I do cover it in my own inimitable style.
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Aug 28, 2023 00:33
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The Jimi Hendrix Experience: The kind of vomit when you vomit and it blocks your breathing passages and you asphyxiate/choke to death on the vomit.
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Aug 28, 2023 06:02
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So coool.
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Aug 28, 2023 06:46
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If you swallow a whole roll of life savers before you puke you can focus the stream into a powerful super soaker like beam.
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Aug 28, 2023 08:14
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Do you ever hold your breath when looking at photos of things that must be very stinky irl (my work requires me to look at gross medical pics sometimes)
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Aug 28, 2023 13:13
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Putty posted:Hershey Kisses: The Hershey flavor vomit This is just all vomit
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Aug 29, 2023 18:00
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The Surprise Fountain: A totally unexpected vomit, which comes up without warning. Usually involves slapping one's hand over one's mouth, only to have the vomit squirt out between the fingers, fountain-like, in multiple directions.
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Aug 29, 2023 19:25
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Genesplicer posted:The scienticians at the American Association for the Authentication, Assimilation, Ajudication, and Dissemination of Technical Methods (AAAAADTM) have been diligently working on projects to understand the nature of vomit. After many months of data gathering and eating far too much in one sitting, the AAAAADTM can finally release their long-awaited preliminary study regarding human emesis. Over several years these dedicated scienticians have devoted hours of exhausting research to the understanding of What Makes Us Puke. More importantly, and quite unexpectedly, the scienticians at the AAAAADTM discovered different forms of regurgitation, and are currently working to qualify and quantify these occurrences. im gay (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Aug 29, 2023 19:35
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Genesplicer posted:The Surprise Fountain: A totally unexpected vomit, which comes up without warning. Usually involves slapping one's hand over one's mouth, only to have the vomit squirt out between the fingers, fountain-like, in multiple directions. My best friend when I was 10 or so had this one. My mom brought us to the arcade and bought us time cards, and then she looks at him and asks “are you OK?” He nods and then his eyes cross and his hand covers his mouth as his cheeks filled. Poor guy felt like poo poo but didn’t want to ruin our arcade day. 
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Aug 29, 2023 20:30
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LuckyCat posted:My best friend when I was 10 or so had this one. My mom brought us to the arcade and bought us time cards, and then she looks at him and asks “are you OK?” He nods and then his eyes cross and his hand covers his mouth as his cheeks filled. Poor guy felt like poo poo but didn’t want to ruin our arcade day. I did, too. About 5 years ago. I had some sort of virus or something. I woke up in the middle of the night, heaving. I managed to make it to the bathroom. The bathroom attached to our bedroom is a tiny 1/2 bath, just a toilet and sink. I covered my mouth and managed to spray the walls. Before I could get the toilet seat up, I'd been hit with a second wave, which hit the closed lid of the toilet. It was pure liquid, so splashed everywhere. Then wave 3 hit. By the time the fourth wave hit, I got the lid open, but the damage was done. When I was done, Mrs. Genesplicer shooed me off to the shower and napkined the puke from all surfaces (Including, she reported, the ceiling.) Not a fun time. For either of us.
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Aug 29, 2023 22:39
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The Casual: Similar to the "Puke-and-Rally"/"Tactical Chunder", but performed while drunkenly conversing during the walk between your previous bar and the next. One moment you're talking, the next you lean to the side, get the demons out of you, and continue the conversation.
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Aug 29, 2023 23:04
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The expected: When you wake up while sick and are so full of foul mucus you have to bring it up and spit it out, but you know it’s going to cause you to vomit explosively
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Aug 29, 2023 23:35
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spookykid posted:The Casual: Similar to the "Puke-and-Rally"/"Tactical Chunder", but performed while drunkenly conversing during the walk between your previous bar and the next. One moment you're talking, the next you lean to the side, get the demons out of you, and continue the conversation. "get the demons out of you"... The Exorcism: A vomit that is so powerful, you sound like you are possessed as you expel your half-digested oreos and beef stew. Can be confused with the Speaking in Tongues.
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Aug 30, 2023 17:35
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