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pencilhands posted:instead of shoplifting what I like to do is wait until I have a really massive poo poo brewing inside me, my shits are also insanely rock hard because I abuse opiates, and just unload that motherfucker in their bathroom and not flush, I doubt they can even get rid of them with a plunger, they probably have to like pick it up and throw it away durrrr
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Aug 29, 2023 16:00
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pencilhands posted:instead of shoplifting what I like to do is wait until I have a really massive poo poo brewing inside me, my shits are also insanely rock hard because I abuse opiates, and just unload that motherfucker in their bathroom and not flush, I doubt they can even get rid of them with a plunger, they probably have to like pick it up and throw it away  Also I don't think I ever shoplifted anything 
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Aug 29, 2023 16:03
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I only steal wages from my employees like a responsible citizen
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Aug 29, 2023 16:04
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Walmart has plastic cups that cost 50 cents and have easily removable barcode stickers on the bottom. Usually on a big endcap display. Just friendly advice in case anyone needs cups and doesn't like sticker residue
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Aug 29, 2023 16:08
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EorayMel posted:
The one time I stole poo poo I got away with it until my sister ratted me out. 
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Aug 29, 2023 16:13
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i stole a bagel from a crappy airport breakfast place a couple years ago. well i didnt entirely steal it, i left a dollar on the counter and walked off, which is probably much more than that bagel was worth but also much less than they were charging
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Aug 29, 2023 16:18
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You guys should have seen the shoplifting subreddit, it was all girls stealing hundreds of dollars worth of make up being like "check out my haul," it was awesome. Sadly they banned it.
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Aug 29, 2023 16:20
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I stole a bottle of coke when I was five and got away with it, but for some time after anytime we drove by that store I'd duck down in the back seat, figuring they were looking for me. I also refused to go back in to that store. I got away with it!
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Aug 29, 2023 16:22
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when i was like 10, sometime in the 90s anyway, me and my friend used to steal these rad mortal kombat stickers from a local shop. over a few weeks we had stolen so many. he got caught by his grandad who was also a teacher at our primary school and i got scared that i was gonna get busted too so i threw them all away in some bushes.
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Aug 29, 2023 16:25
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Panic! At The Tesco posted:when i was like 10, sometime in the 90s anyway, me and my friend used to steal these rad mortal kombat stickers from a local shop. over a few weeks we had stolen so many. he got caught by his grandad who was also a teacher at our primary school and i got scared that i was gonna get busted too so i threw them all away in some bushes. That bush was probably also loaded with old playboy magazines and loose cigarettes
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Aug 29, 2023 16:29
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I used to work with this sweet little old lady who admitted one day that she just walks out of the grocery store with a full cart sometimes and she's never been caught. Baller.
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Aug 29, 2023 16:29
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Caesar Saladin posted:You guys should have seen the shoplifting subreddit, it was all girls stealing hundreds of dollars worth of make up being like "check out my haul," it was awesome. Sadly they banned it. hundreds of dollars of big-brand makeup probably has an actual cost of like 
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Aug 29, 2023 16:34
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First thing I remember stealing was 4 Entropic Specters (a terrible poo poo bulk rare MTG card) from my local card game store when I was probably 10. The cool owner caught me but let me get away with it with a disapproving knowing look, but I now realize it was probably because he knew I was spending all my money on packs every weekend and it would be a bad business decision to bust me. The whole interaction is such a vivid memory in my head. Last thing I stole was an extra bundle of firewood from the Dollar General. Paid for 2, grabbed 3 
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Aug 29, 2023 16:38
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Caesar Saladin posted:You guys should have seen the shoplifting subreddit, it was all girls stealing hundreds of dollars worth of make up being like "check out my haul," it was awesome. Sadly they banned it. hundred of dollars of makeup that is actually about $5.00 to make.
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Aug 29, 2023 16:40
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does juggalo paint count as makeup cause that was me
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Aug 29, 2023 16:42
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After I quit, I told a coworker how to steal a Nintendo DS from toys r us. Took them over a year to notice it was missing. I'd also toss video games under the truck roll up door, as even locked it opened a few inches and the camera back there didn't work. Sometimes it's just mark things down like 90% and ring myself up. I worked in the shipping and loss control department.
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Aug 29, 2023 16:57
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I would drink a free water from Starbucks and use the cup for soda from the machine near the Deli 
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Aug 29, 2023 16:58
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pencilhands posted:instead of shoplifting what I like to do is wait until I have a really massive poo poo brewing inside me, my shits are also insanely rock hard because I abuse opiates, and just unload that motherfucker in their bathroom and not flush, I doubt they can even get rid of them with a plunger, they probably have to like pick it up and throw it away This but ironically
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Aug 29, 2023 17:01
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I don't steal things. That's just me though. Anyways, thanks for the thread and I hope you enjoyed reading this reply. I'll see you later!
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Aug 29, 2023 17:04
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Just download your groceries for free with nord vpn
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Aug 29, 2023 17:07
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Toxic Mental posted:I don't steal things. That's just me though. Anyways, thanks for the thread and I hope you enjoyed reading this reply. I'll see you later! you like to steal an extra lick of the boot
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Aug 29, 2023 17:09
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The devil went down to Georgia, he was lookin for a soul to steal which is a crisis actually
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Aug 29, 2023 17:10
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Toxic Mental posted:I don't steal things. That's just me though. Anyways, thanks for the thread and I hope you enjoyed reading this reply. I'll see you later! stealing this post for the next shoplifting thread
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Aug 29, 2023 17:11
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The only thing I steal is valor, from crying US servicemen, as I get a free 15% discount on my oil change Suckerssssss
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Aug 29, 2023 17:20
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Lowe's has a couple of parking spots up front reserved for veterans which just seems cringe. I don't know how they even check for something like that. Do they card you as you get out of your car? Ask to see your cool fake leg from when you got blown up in Iraq? At any rate I once paid for an energy drink twice while using self checkout there and I didn't want to deal with having it voided so I just left.
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Aug 29, 2023 17:44
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Rad-daddio posted:At any rate I once paid for an energy drink twice while using self checkout there and I didn't want to deal with having it voided so I just left. thats it - you're a veteran now. thank you for your service
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Aug 29, 2023 17:49
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pencilhands posted:instead of shoplifting what I like to do is wait until I have a really massive poo poo brewing inside me, my shits are also insanely rock hard because I abuse opiates, and just unload that motherfucker in their bathroom and not flush, I doubt they can even get rid of them with a plunger, they probably have to like pick it up and throw it away lmao. a more well liked poster could have gotten away with this
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Aug 29, 2023 17:50
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Steal from us all you like but for God's sake practice subtlety and if you get caught then don't flip the gently caress out I really don't want to have to deal with shoplifters and I definitely don't want to be a watchdog for capital but treat theft like a job and don't be a dick when you do get caught out
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Aug 29, 2023 17:52
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Rad-daddio posted:Lowe's has a couple of parking spots up front reserved for veterans which just seems cringe. They outsource that to the "Stolen Valor" youtubers who are usually harassing mentally ill people dressed up as 6 star generals at the park.
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Aug 29, 2023 17:53
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One time I was waiting for a clerk to show up at a Hudson News in Newark Airport and they just never showed up so I just took all the stuff I was going to buy.
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Aug 29, 2023 17:56
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kntfkr posted:One time I was waiting for a clerk to show up at a Hudson News in Newark Airport and they just never showed up so I just took all the stuff I was going to buy. hi kuntfuckre. welcome back
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Aug 29, 2023 17:58
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Toxic Mental posted:The only thing I steal is valor, from crying US servicemen, as I get a free 15% discount on my oil change The hero we need
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Aug 29, 2023 18:06
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kntfkr posted:One time I was waiting for a clerk to show up at a Hudson News in Newark Airport and they just never showed up so I just took all the stuff I was going to buy. I think if this is the guy you're dealing with you're probably good to just take what you need and pay later: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srV4XjS9I3I
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Aug 29, 2023 18:09
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Rad-daddio posted:Lowe's has a couple of parking spots up front reserved for veterans which just seems cringe. They don't exist for veterans to park in, they exist for people like my mom who see the parking spots and only shop there because LOWES HONORS OUR HEROES 
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Aug 29, 2023 18:11
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PinheadSlim posted:They don't exist for veterans to park in, they exist for people like my mom who see the parking spots and only shop there because LOWES HONORS OUR HEROES your mom is a hero
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Aug 29, 2023 18:14
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Milo and POTUS posted:your mom is a hero 
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Aug 29, 2023 18:19
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PinheadSlim posted:They don't exist for veterans to park in, they exist for people like my mom who see the parking spots and only shop there because LOWES HONORS OUR HEROES A handicapped spot? I loving love handicapped people! *Parks diagonally across two handicapped spaces*
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Aug 29, 2023 18:21
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I've park in the HEROES spots before at Lowe's, because it's funny to park there when there's a bunch of other open spots.
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Aug 29, 2023 18:22
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pencilhands posted:instead of shoplifting what I like to do is wait until I have a really massive poo poo brewing inside me, my shits are also insanely rock hard because I abuse opiates, and just unload that motherfucker in their bathroom and not flush, I doubt they can even get rid of them with a plunger, they probably have to like pick it up and throw it away so what do you abuse for your posts?
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Aug 29, 2023 18:23
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NoiseAnnoys posted:so what do you abuse for your posts? all of us
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Aug 29, 2023 18:24
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