Tell me your 'person who ruined the Christmas party's stories

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WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

Share them all.

I want to know about the drink uncle who fell on the table and ruined Christmas

# ? Dec 24, 2023 08:31

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 15:36

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Sorry OP.

I don't know anyone who is that big of an idiot.

My christmas present to you is to bump your thread.

# ? Dec 25, 2023 02:25

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

The smell of hospitals in winter
And the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters
But no pearls
All at once you look across a crowded room
To see the way that light attaches to a girl

# ? Dec 25, 2023 02:35

Alucard: Mar 11, 2002; Pillbug

It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly.

# ? Dec 25, 2023 02:47

FalconImpala: Oct 21, 2018; Wow, a cow made of butter. My girls would love it. In fact, the first sentence Caroline ever said was "I like butter"

Alucard posted:

It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly.

Is your mom single

# ? Dec 25, 2023 02:56

I, Butthole: Jun 30, 2007; Begin the operations of the gas chambers, gas schools, gas universities, gas libraries, gas museums, gas dance halls, and gas threads, etcetera.
I DEMAND IT

Alucard posted:

It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly.

lmao

# ? Dec 25, 2023 02:58

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

FalconImpala posted:

Is your mom single

Lol

# ? Dec 25, 2023 03:17

Private Cumshoe: Feb 15, 2019; AAAAAAAGAGHAAHGGAH

FalconImpala posted:

Is your mom single

Single and w/ the remaining assets of Kris Kringle

# ? Dec 25, 2023 04:50

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

Alucard posted:

It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly.

# ? Dec 25, 2023 19:59

HungryMedusa: Apr 28, 2003

LOL I just watched that scene. They are in the department store now

# ? Dec 25, 2023 20:05

ChubbyChecker: Mar 25, 2018

Alucard posted:

It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly.