Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Cornwind Evil
Dec 14, 2004


The undisputed world champion of wrestling effortposting
Anyone else remember reading Tales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing when they were young? It recently popped up in my head and even if you consider that it was written in 1972, and the titular 'Fudge' was two and a half years old, man, that kid was just an rear end in a top hat and an unthinking one.

Okay, kids do nonsense and they can grow out of it. So maybe we can forgive stuff like screwing up his dad's business dinner, or jumping off some playground equipment and his brother getting blamed for it despite the fact he lost track of him for like ten seconds, or being a brat and deciding he didn't want to eat any more. Then we get stuff like him vandalizing his brother's visual aids for a school project...just because. But none of that tops when, at the end of the book, Peter, who got a baby, small turtle at the start of the book (which he names Dribble), having won it at a birthday competition, Fudge, for essentially no reason at all (or a dumb kid reason that basically translates to 'No Reason at all'), decides to eat Dribble. Yes, he just swallows the turtle (again, very small). And of course, all the attention and care goes to the brat who did this, first to get the turtle out, and then to celebrate him being 'all better', never mind he killed his older brother's pet.

And most annoying of all, since Fudge was essentially the main character, the other books about the same family all got named after him. It's like even reality awards the brat. He kept being a brat in later books too; in the sequel he kicks his new teacher hard in the shin and then climbs on top of a tall drawer solely because she won't call him Fudge (his actual name is Farley, he hates it) and then at the end of it he and a friend of his goes off on an adventure without telling either of their parents, in something that probably doesn't seem so bad to the young readers who were supposed to read this book but would probably utterly terrify most parents.

Though even Fudge gets outstripped by that bitch Sheila in the TV movie based on the third book. Fudge is a young child: Sheila's a pre-teen and knows what she's doing.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


actually he was Super ,

Flavor Bear
Jan 13, 2008

Bear Love is Best Love
I hated his little fat gently caress friend who was always scamming for a dinner invite

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


if a kid ate a turtle nowadays all the snowdlake moms would be like oh no he will die of turtle cancer or whatever

BeastOfTheEdelwood
Feb 27, 2023

Led through the mist, by the milk-light of moon, all that was lost is revealed.
Agreed, OP. I hated that little poo poo head. Poor Peter always getting screwed over thanks to Fudge's antics.:(

ChickenHeart
Nov 28, 2007

Take me at your own risk.

Kiss From a Hog
Should have thrown him into an aquarium full of adult snapping turtles as revenge

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!
If your parents named you Farley Drexel, you'd be pretty pissed too.

Its like on this one facebook group I'm on, there was this (teenage) kid named Tanner who was always getting in to arguments with the older group members. Mostly Gen Xers but some boomers too. I know people hate boomers and to a lesser extent Gen X, but this dude was an idiot and deserved *most* (but probably not all) of the poo poo he got.

At one point a couple people I know IRL (older gen X) were all like "Yo, I'd be angry too if my parents named me Tanner". Dude had a meltdown and started threatening some people (a few of whom may have some biker affiliations) and calling everyone out and got banned.


Yeah, fudge was a dick though. His dad should have beaten his rear end a few times. But rubbing mashed potatoes in his face or hair or whatever was pretty sweet.

RapturesoftheDeep
Jan 6, 2013
I dunno, I really identified with him in the book where his parents moved and he started jerking it to the rich girl next door.

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

He was evil by nature.

The Bible
May 8, 2010

i remember this. There was a series that followed a girl as well, Ramona I think. Her dad did factory work but was always unemployed and made it his whole family's thing to deal with. Also had a bunch of sayings his grandma always said about various reasons to beat children.

Those books were written and take place in like, the 60s or 70s. There wasn't poo poo to do and whatever poo poo you did get up to sucked and you were basically bored all the time. Of course they were lovely.

The Bible fucked around with this message at 06:25 on Feb 22, 2024

Secks Cauldron
Aug 26, 2006

I thought they closed that place down!

wesleywillis posted:

Yeah, fudge was a dick though. His dad should have beaten his rear end a few times. But rubbing mashed potatoes in his face or hair or whatever was pretty sweet.
Eat it or wear it!

counterfeitsaint
Feb 26, 2010

I'm a girl, and you're
gnomes, and it's like
what? Yikes.
I read those books and the only thing I can remember was later he got a dog and named the dog Turtle in memory of his turtle.

I can't get behind a grown rear end goon being pissed off at a toddler though. Toddlers gonna toddle, bitch out his parents if you're so mad.

Dumb Sex-Parrot
Dec 25, 2020
Didn't they have ritalin back then?

slinkimalinki
Jan 17, 2010

BeastOfTheEdelwood posted:

Agreed, OP. I hated that little poo poo head. Poor Peter always getting screwed over thanks to Fudge's antics.:(

I was convinced I could save Peter. Always had a thing for lovable losers.

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


Fudge Meets Stuart Little (and eats him)

Mad Doctor Cthulhu
Mar 3, 2008

ChickenHeart posted:

Should have thrown him into an aquarium full of adult snapping turtles as revenge

'Whatever Happened to Baby Fudge,' where a grown Peter has to come back to figure out how to care for a disabled Fudge shortly after his parents die, only to find that Fudge's assholishness continues even as a disabled adult.

"Remember when you pushed me in the aquarium, Peter?? They took my fingers and feet and I can't move my legs. Remember when you pushed me in the aquarium Peter to die? But I didn't die, Peter. I'LL NEVER DIE, EVER."

MoonshineWilly
Feb 7, 2007

Damn you, harlot! Science and I know what we're doing!
Eating your brotherís beloved pet is certainly a power move.

Hazo
Dec 30, 2004

SCIENCE



I remember in one of the books he got his face blasted open by running full speed headfirst into a jungle gym


So I hope thatís some consolation for you OP

FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams
Fudge is Super, Peter is Nothing.

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



There's a Boy in the Girl's Bathroom was a cool book but the title was clickbait long before clickbait was a thing. The author named the entire book on a single throwaway line and I'm pretty sure the incident didn't even happen to the main character.

Can't respect it. Just can't.

ChickenHeart
Nov 28, 2007

Take me at your own risk.

Kiss From a Hog
My Teacher Is an Alien was always the superior choice in that specific niche of grade school book bus fiction:

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



I also vaguely remember some book about a girl with a hat that said PIG CITY on it which not gonna lie, would be a pretty cool hat

Grey Cat
Jun 3, 2023

Doing stuff and things


ChickenHeart posted:

My Teacher Is an Alien was always the superior choice in that specific niche of grade school book bus fiction:



I was probably reading something more like:

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



I also remember a kids book I checked out at the school library in the 4th grade and the main characters were two kids who tried to swim across a stream or something and one of them straight up drowned

Action Jacktion
Jun 3, 2003

The Bible posted:

i remember this. There was a series that followed a girl as well, Ramona I think. Her dad did factory work but was always unemployed and made it his whole family's thing to deal with. Also had a bunch of sayings his grandma always said about various reasons to beat children.

When I was a kid I thought her name was Romana like on Doctor Who. When I learned it's actually pronounced Ra-moan-a, I thought it sounded stupid. (Sorry to anyone named Ramona.)

William Henry Hairytaint posted:

I also remember a kids book I checked out at the school library in the 4th grade and the main characters were two kids who tried to swim across a stream or something and one of them straight up drowned

On My Honor?

free hubcaps
Oct 12, 2009

William Henry Hairytaint posted:

I also remember a kids book I checked out at the school library in the 4th grade and the main characters were two kids who tried to swim across a stream or something and one of them straight up drowned

Probably Bridge to Terabithia, it's a pretty famous kids novel


My favorite YA author was Robert Cormier, his books are dark as gently caress. After the First Death had an actual terrorist as one protagonist and a suicide victim as another lol. Most of his books had really depressing endings, they are great books but I'm kinda shocked they were as common in school as they were.

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Grey Cat posted:

I was probably reading something more like:


Mrs gorf seemed like she'd be pretty cool gotta admit.

Erin M. Fiasco
Mar 21, 2013

Nothing's better than postin' in the morning!



William Henry Hairytaint posted:

There's a Boy in the Girl's Bathroom was a cool book but the title was clickbait long before clickbait was a thing. The author named the entire book on a single throwaway line and I'm pretty sure the incident didn't even happen to the main character.

Can't respect it. Just can't.

It is clickbait in the sense that it's an ultimately minor scene but it definitely happens in the book. The kid gets wrong directions to the guidance counselor's office, isn't paying attention, ends up in the wrong room, and hides in a stall until he thinks it's safe. The point is that it makes his already-bad reputation worse. I would assume Louis Sachar or the publishers thought it was more eye-catching than "The Incredibly Depressing Story About A Problem Kid Who Makes His Life Worse" :shrug:

Loved that book as a kid. The ending always made me cry.

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011




Yep, that's the one. I remember the drowned kid being named Tony.

Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

"Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

ChickenHeart posted:

My Teacher Is an Alien was always the superior choice in that specific niche of grade school book bus fiction:



this book unironically owns, go read the trilogy, it will take you half an afternoon and is available in pretty much every library ever

the ending absolutely blew my mind as an impressionable third grader

Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

dumb, mean kids need representation in childrens books too op. protagonism isn't just for nice people.

Junk
Dec 20, 2003

Listen to reason, man. Why make your job difficult?
i vaguely remember a live action tv show in the 90s based on the fudge books

Wilkins Micawber
Jan 27, 2005

as we leave this existence
looking for another
Fallen Rib
There was one where they all went on vacation or something and they were playing softball (?) and there was some lady everyone called "when-in-rome" and like huh, is that the joke? That's funny? But maybe it was funny. Probably shouldn't have faked being sick so much so I didn't miss important context from Fudge.

Then again I was more of a Problem Child 1-3 watching kinda kid. Now there's a smart Alec you can hang your hat on.

Junk
Dec 20, 2003

Listen to reason, man. Why make your job difficult?

Wilkins Micawber posted:

There was one where they all went on vacation or something and they were playing softball (?) and there was some lady everyone called "when-in-rome" and like huh, is that the joke? That's funny? But maybe it was funny. Probably shouldn't have faked being sick so much so I didn't miss important context from Fudge.

Then again I was more of a Problem Child 1-3 watching kinda kid. Now there's a smart Alec you can hang your hat on.

oh yeah, the one where peter got to meet Big Apfel or whoever

credburn
Jun 22, 2016

ChickenHeart posted:

My Teacher Is an Alien was always the superior choice in that specific niche of grade school book bus fiction:



Bruce Coville was my first "favorite author." I ate all his poo poo up.

But the best is obv



I remember one of the Fudge books had a line where someone told him "When in Rome," and it pissed him off, then later he repeats it back to that person in a really snarky way, and it was probably my first experience with a kind of setup-and-payoff, even if in retrospect it's not that deep. It blew me away though. That line that was said earlier in the book, the reversal. I didn't really understand the nuance of the phrase, though. I kind of interpreted that as just another way of saying "gently caress you." So I started saying it to people at school I didn't like. "When in Rome!"

I was a dumb kid.

credburn fucked around with this message at 19:02 on Feb 22, 2024

John Wick of Dogs
Mar 4, 2017

A real hellraiser


What about Soup

I remember vaguely, all the books were named after him but he was just the friend of the main character, and possibly seemed dirt poor?

You Are A Werewolf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!

Rockman Reserve posted:

this book unironically owns, go read the trilogy, it will take you half an afternoon and is available in pretty much every library ever

the ending absolutely blew my mind as an impressionable third grader

Pretty sure I still have the OG books in my childhood closet somewhere. The quadrilogy is indeed the tits. Definitely remember the kids hiding outside the window with the teacher peeling his face off inside on the cover of the first book.

I went into my sisterís shed looking for something and found my copy of Beverly Clearyís Beezuz and Ramona along with some Gamepro magazines from 1991 to 1993. They werenít what I was looking for, but Iíll take them.

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!
BEEZUS JESUS

Hazo
Dec 30, 2004

SCIENCE



credburn posted:

Bruce Coville was my first "favorite author." I ate all his poo poo up.

But the best is obv



I read the two sequel books (Howliday Inn and Return to Howliday Inn) countless times on family road trips. gently caress yeah.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Earwicker
Jan 6, 2003

Hazo posted:

I read the two sequel books (Howliday Inn and Return to Howliday Inn) countless times on family road trips. gently caress yeah.

there was also The Celery Stalks at Midnight and iirc a few others

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply