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Buce
Dec 23, 2005

my apple™ watch™ started flickering and acting like it was receiving tons of random inputs and then it called 911 and hung up on them and started opening random apps and poo poo. it also texted an sos to my emergency contacts such as my dad, my ex, and my bff.

911 called me back and I apologized. but what the actual gently caress happened?

what should i do now?

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TrashMammal
Nov 10, 2022

better toss it in a furnace before it goes all skynet on everybody

Buce
Dec 23, 2005

it was very traumatic

Thesaurus
Oct 3, 2004


It's trying to tell you something for a reason. The watches always know... You should probably flee immediately!

Thesaurus
Oct 3, 2004


This you op?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26RTlPgg-tA

tractor man
Nov 11, 2021

this is just the beginning

Buce
Dec 23, 2005


since i couldn't turn the loving thing off, i had the frantic thought: is the drying machine a faraday cage?

i was on the toilet when this all started and the dryer was right in my line of sight.

Wii Spawn Camper
Nov 25, 2005

That's fine. I guess you're just losers then.

The answer was right below you

Toxic Mental
Jun 1, 2019

who wears a watch lmao

MooRooster
Mar 5, 2024

Its God punishing you for being rich

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000

I LITERALLY SLEEP IN A RACING CAR. DO YOU?
p.s. ask me about my subscription mattress
Ultra Carp
Buced again! :argh:

Buce
Dec 23, 2005

Vim Fuego posted:

Buced again! :argh:

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




sounds like you need to study the user manual before wearing it again

a smart watch is both a privilege and a responsibility

XYZAB
Jun 29, 2003

HNNNNNGG!!
When I caught covid I stood up too fast after eating soup and passed out cold, ended up on the ground. Woke up with blood everywhere and my watch of all things was asking me if I fell and wanted to do anything about it, but the one thing it DIDN'T do was call 911.

its all nice on rice
Nov 12, 2006

Sweet, Salty Goodness.



Buglord

XYZAB posted:

When I caught covid I stood up too fast after eating soup and passed out cold, ended up on the ground. Woke up with blood everywhere and my watch of all things was asking me if I fell and wanted to do anything about it, but the one thing it DIDN'T do was call 911.

It appears you rapidly accelerated toward the ground. Do you require aid? If you are unconscious and require medical attention, please swipe right.

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003

Staunch and proud ally of Big Pharma! We stand with you!
where is 🅾️🅱️ to lecture OP on their inability to embrace the future, and the nature of crapple supremacy

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Your watch was dying in front of you and desperately called 911 and everyone it could contact and u just watched

GABA ghoul
Oct 29, 2011

At least it didn't also order a casket and cemetery plot for you. Would have really sucked cause those are non refundable

LordArgh
Mar 17, 2009

Nap Ghost
My mechanical wrist watch has never called 911, or anyone else for that matter

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

Toxic Mental posted:

who wears a watch lmao

watches are cool op. smartwatches are not cool

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.
Since it's an Apple watch, you should be asking yourself OP: What did I do wrong? How did I fail this wonderful Apple product? How can I improve so as to use Apple products?

Cuz you know it's not the Apple product's fault. They Just Work.

The Bramble
Mar 16, 2004

Buce posted:

it was very traumatic

Therapy is good to help deal with trauma

The Bramble
Mar 16, 2004

Hey siri, gently caress me over

cat botherer
Jan 6, 2022

I am interested in most phases of data processing.
A couple years ago, my locked iPhone butt-dialed 911 during New Years Eve, which has got to be the worst time for that to happen. I got repeatedly called from what I assumed was a spam number. Finally answered it and it was the 911 operator. Probably thought I was getting murdered or something.

Buce
Dec 23, 2005

bradzilla posted:

watches are cool op. smartwatches are not cool

i have a couple tourbillon watches for when i want to look fancy, but i like smort watch for the heart rate monitor (gently caress those awful chest straps). it's also nice to know that if it senses that i'm bored or lonely, it'll call 911 and text my loved ones, who will then call me and ask about my day :)


The Bramble posted:

Therapy is good to help deal with trauma

agreedo

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

I will pray for you Buce

Philthy
Jan 28, 2003

Pillbug
tron fights for the the users

Buce
Dec 23, 2005

Smugworth posted:

I will pray for you Buce

ty smugs

cumpantry
Dec 18, 2020

i hear all from your wrist

free hubcaps
Oct 12, 2009

Don't some of those watches have fall sensors or something? Maybe you banged it and it thought had cracked your head open

Extra Large Marge
Jan 21, 2004

Fun Shoe
My Casio has never snitched on me to the authorities

Quotey
Aug 16, 2006

We went out for lunch and then we stopped for some bubble tea.
You had a heart attack op

Buce
Dec 23, 2005

free hubcaps posted:

Don't some of those watches have fall sensors or something? Maybe you banged it and it thought had cracked your head open

it was more like when you tried to use one of those old school capacitive touchscreens when your hands were wet. just bonkers-rear end inputs happening constantly.

I mean, let's be frank, i, like most goons, know what it feels like to experience vasovagal syncope and wake up on the floor.

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

I don't think!
Ham Wrangler
I had some kind of phone back in like 2007 that would accidentally call 911 from time to time. It must have had some shortcut where you press some combination of buttons but I didn't know what it was and I guess it would get pressed when I put it in my bag or whatever. It was embarrassing as hell I hated that stupid phone but I couldn't afford a new one for a while.

Mr Teatime
Apr 7, 2009

The Bramble posted:

Hey siri, gently caress me over

Okay, now playing four leaf clover by ‘the kooks’ on Apple Music ™.

Mr Teatime
Apr 7, 2009

Cranking it so hard on the toilet you set off the fall sensor.

Philthy
Jan 28, 2003

Pillbug
i heard if you masturbate furiously it can trick the watch into thinking you've had a heart attack

Buce
Dec 23, 2005

apple tech support told me to turn it off and on again. as soon as i turned it on, it called 911 and sent sos messages again.

Buce
Dec 23, 2005

Mr Teatime posted:

Cranking it so hard on the toilet you set off the fall sensor.

i wish i could still crank it that hard

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Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Buce posted:

apple tech support told me to turn it off and on again. as soon as i turned it on, it called 911 and sent sos messages again.

crapple

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