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GF keeps leaving me, I tried everything (even becoming a childhood friend like in all those hentai) Maybe I should give up on her... and install myself as god-king of some primitive tribe a millennium ago, I could have like 10 GFs!
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# ? Jul 27, 2024 04:03 |
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Babies!! What's going on here? Who made all this mess? *babies gasp in unison* Mama Hirohito! Aye aye aye! Funky See Funky Do fucked around with this message at 12:19 on Apr 26, 2024 |
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Therapy? THERAPY?! I have nothing to fix in myself so long as I can just keep erasing every single choice I ever made in life!
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Okay, in this iteration I completed my doctorate, mended my relationships with my estranged father and my ex-girlfriend, whom I also married and to top it all off I even won the lottery! Now I just need to engage the only semi-predictable and risky time machine to stop myself from buying that brand of car, the color doesn't fit the house.
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Trump was president?
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God drat it, now it's Baranstein Bears.
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maybe I can stop the black death by giving them all covid first
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I have this idea for a show called Time Jerks starring Tracy Morgan and Jimmy O. Yang. In the first episode they get kidnapped by beings from the 4th dimension (all played by Fred Durst) and the big reveal that they're from the 4th dimension is when the Freds turn the red yankees cap frontwards. Anyway, Tracy & Jimmy are forced to be in a TV show for the 4th dimension's entertainment and they're first assignment they get sent back to Holland 1945 and are tasked with throwing out Anne Frank's diary so no one ever reads it and In The Aeroplane Over the Sea never gets made. They feel really bad about it. In the next episode they have to spend 20 years in Aberdeen, Washington making sure Kurt Cobain gets into a really good law school and doesn't waste his time noodling on some dumb guitar.
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ShredsYouSay posted:maybe I can stop the black death by giving them all covid first Who knew that bringing back Chickenpox would trigger an evolution of sloths into the dominant life form? I'll try again with Ebola.
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I wonder what will happen if I go back in time and kill the inventor of time travel.
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Whoa, your name is Grandma? Someone in my family has that same exact name! But hey, what do you say we get out of here and go back to your place?
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I think we should simply catch a butterfly outside and bring it back to the past to replace the one we just killed. So simple
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山廾丹卞'己 呂回工几呂 回几, 山廾丹卞 廾丹尸尸ヨ几ヨ句 卞回 ヨ几呂し工己廾?
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Ok so all we have to do is not explode a baby via mailbox tnt this time...go!!
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Non, aux Etats-Unis, nous les appelons des frites de la liberté!
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By the time I'm done, I'm gonna be everyone's grandfather.
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McSpanky posted:By the time I'm done, I'm gonna be everyone's grandfather. Aunt Marriam? what are you doing on these forums?
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Damnit now my best friend is a goth
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Why does the Rosetta stone suddenly have hyperlinks?
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hosed around in Victorian London and accidentally uninvented English muffins
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i travelled back in time to kill hitler but he turned at the last second and my bullet just shaved off his dumb moustache ![]()
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Hey Alexander Fleming, let me show you a little trick called synthesizing meth.
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Shadow0 posted:I wonder what will happen if I go back in time and kill the inventor of time travel.
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*carves UFO pictures in King Tut's tomb*
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Travelled back in time to tell Tycho Brahe it’s okay to rip a fat piss at the party he was at instead of holding it in, and now everyone’s walking around with these comically oversized droopy mustaches in the present.
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The only way I can fix everything is if I go back in time and choke myself with my own umbilical cord in the womb
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Hey Albert Einstein! We're six hot single babes and we just rented a beach house! We're all blowing off the next week of classes and having a nonstop rager instead! You should come.
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Free beer and hotdogs at the World Trade Center tomorrow. Queue nice and early to avoid the rush!
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Teaching Sumerians to cultivate kudzu instead of wheat
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I travel to the Americas early and give them nuclear weapons and military drones so when Cortez and the other invasive euros show up, they do not get to conquer or land. Edit: obviously this just sounds like a positive change but giving these folks such advanced weapons in such great abundance, there ends up being less Americas than there was before.
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Enh, close enough.
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not sure how I did it but there's two baby hitlers all of a sudden
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inspired by that guy in fyad, if u look carefully u can see my balls hidden in nearly every single famous painting
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Cornwind Evil posted:God drat it, now it's Baranstein Bears.
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sugar free jazz posted:inspired by that guy in fyad, if u look carefully u can see my balls hidden in nearly every single famous painting Keep living the dream.
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Cornwind Evil posted:God drat it, now it's Boranstyn Bears.
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So the screenplay is called Shazam, it's about a genie named Shazam, and we're thinking the hilarious stand-up comic Sinbad for the lead role. Can we set up a meeting?
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Nah, look, Mr. Tarantino, Samuel L. Jackson is all wrong for the part of Jules. You know who you need? Hear me out: Janeane Garofolo is really hot right now...
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we did it I was the only one to make it back to 2024 alive, but we killed Hoetzenberger, sparing the twentieth century the unspeakable horrors of global war
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# ? Jul 27, 2024 04:03 |
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So you know how mold grows on bread right? and you've heard about evolution? so that old sandwich you dropped back at the end of the ice age- it's now running for president!
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