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Time travel?
halp how did i get here im not good with clocks?!Q
The key is to gently caress all your female ancestors.
Take a poo poo in Einstein's brain!
Joke option: learn to accept and move on
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By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


GF keeps leaving me, I tried everything (even becoming a childhood friend like in all those hentai)
Maybe I should give up on her... and install myself as god-king of some primitive tribe a millennium ago, I could have like 10 GFs!

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Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Babies!! What's going on here? Who made all this mess?

*babies gasp in unison* Mama Hirohito! Aye aye aye!

Funky See Funky Do fucked around with this message at 12:19 on Apr 26, 2024

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Therapy? THERAPY?! I have nothing to fix in myself so long as I can just keep erasing every single choice I ever made in life!

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Okay, in this iteration I completed my doctorate, mended my relationships with my estranged father and my ex-girlfriend, whom I also married and to top it all off I even won the lottery!
Now I just need to engage the only semi-predictable and risky time machine to stop myself from buying that brand of car, the color doesn't fit the house.

drilldo squirt
Aug 18, 2006

a beautiful, soft meat sack
Clapping Larry
Trump was president?

Cornwind Evil
Dec 14, 2004


The undisputed world champion of wrestling effortposting
God drat it, now it's Baranstein Bears.

ShredsYouSay
Sep 22, 2011

How's his widow holding up?
maybe I can stop the black death by giving them all covid first

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER
I have this idea for a show called Time Jerks starring Tracy Morgan and Jimmy O. Yang. In the first episode they get kidnapped by beings from the 4th dimension (all played by Fred Durst) and the big reveal that they're from the 4th dimension is when the Freds turn the red yankees cap frontwards. Anyway, Tracy & Jimmy are forced to be in a TV show for the 4th dimension's entertainment and they're first assignment they get sent back to Holland 1945 and are tasked with throwing out Anne Frank's diary so no one ever reads it and In The Aeroplane Over the Sea never gets made. They feel really bad about it.

In the next episode they have to spend 20 years in Aberdeen, Washington making sure Kurt Cobain gets into a really good law school and doesn't waste his time noodling on some dumb guitar.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


ShredsYouSay posted:

maybe I can stop the black death by giving them all covid first

Who knew that bringing back Chickenpox would trigger an evolution of sloths into the dominant life form?
I'll try again with Ebola.

Shadow0
Jun 16, 2008


If to live in this style is to be eccentric, it must be confessed that there is something good in eccentricity.

Grimey Drawer
I wonder what will happen if I go back in time and kill the inventor of time travel.

Shadow0
Jun 16, 2008


If to live in this style is to be eccentric, it must be confessed that there is something good in eccentricity.

Grimey Drawer
Whoa, your name is Grandma? Someone in my family has that same exact name! But hey, what do you say we get out of here and go back to your place?

MiracleFlare
Mar 27, 2012
I think we should simply catch a butterfly outside and bring it back to the past to replace the one we just killed. So simple

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


山廾丹卞'己 呂回工几呂 回几, 山廾丹卞 廾丹尸尸ヨ几ヨ句 卞回 ヨ几呂し工己廾?

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

Ok so all we have to do is not explode a baby via mailbox tnt this time...go!!

ShredsYouSay
Sep 22, 2011

How's his widow holding up?
Non, aux Etats-Unis, nous les appelons des frites de la liberté!

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






By the time I'm done, I'm gonna be everyone's grandfather.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


McSpanky posted:

By the time I'm done, I'm gonna be everyone's grandfather.

Aunt Marriam? what are you doing on these forums?

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003


Damnit now my best friend is a goth

Buttchocks
Oct 21, 2020

No, I like my hat, thanks.
Why does the Rosetta stone suddenly have hyperlinks?

Froghammer
Sep 8, 2012

Khajit has wares
if you have coin
hosed around in Victorian London and accidentally uninvented English muffins

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
i travelled back in time to kill hitler but he turned at the last second and my bullet just shaved off his dumb moustache :(

Buttchocks
Oct 21, 2020

No, I like my hat, thanks.
Hey Alexander Fleming, let me show you a little trick called synthesizing meth.

This Is the Zodiac
Feb 4, 2003

Shadow0 posted:

I wonder what will happen if I go back in time and kill the inventor of time travel.
There's an X-Files episode about this.

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




*carves UFO pictures in King Tut's tomb*

You Are A Werewolf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!

Travelled back in time to tell Tycho Brahe itís okay to rip a fat piss at the party he was at instead of holding it in, and now everyoneís walking around with these comically oversized droopy mustaches in the present.

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003


The only way I can fix everything is if I go back in time and choke myself with my own umbilical cord in the womb

This Is the Zodiac
Feb 4, 2003

Hey Albert Einstein! We're six hot single babes and we just rented a beach house! We're all blowing off the next week of classes and having a nonstop rager instead! You should come.

Torquemada
Oct 21, 2010

Drei Gläser
Free beer and hotdogs at the World Trade Center tomorrow. Queue nice and early to avoid the rush!

Buttchocks
Oct 21, 2020

No, I like my hat, thanks.
Teaching Sumerians to cultivate kudzu instead of wheat

Khanstant
Apr 5, 2007
I travel to the Americas early and give them nuclear weapons and military drones so when Cortez and the other invasive euros show up, they do not get to conquer or land.

Edit: obviously this just sounds like a positive change but giving these folks such advanced weapons in such great abundance, there ends up being less Americas than there was before.

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Enh, close enough.

Dumb Sex-Parrot
Dec 25, 2020

 
Absurd Pox Term
Rad Buxom Strep
     
Retard Ox Bumps
Borax Dumpster
     
Dares Box Trump
not sure how I did it but there's two baby hitlers all of a sudden

sugar free jazz
Mar 5, 2008

inspired by that guy in fyad, if u look carefully u can see my balls hidden in nearly every single famous painting

GetDunked
Dec 16, 2011

respectfully

Cornwind Evil posted:

God drat it, now it's Baranstein Bears.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


sugar free jazz posted:

inspired by that guy in fyad, if u look carefully u can see my balls hidden in nearly every single famous painting

Keep living the dream.

JossiRossi
Jul 28, 2008

A little EQ, a touch of reverb, slap on some compression and there. That'll get your dickbutt jiggling.

Cornwind Evil posted:

God drat it, now it's Boranstyn Bears.

This Is the Zodiac
Feb 4, 2003

So the screenplay is called Shazam, it's about a genie named Shazam, and we're thinking the hilarious stand-up comic Sinbad for the lead role. Can we set up a meeting?

This Is the Zodiac
Feb 4, 2003

Nah, look, Mr. Tarantino, Samuel L. Jackson is all wrong for the part of Jules. You know who you need? Hear me out: Janeane Garofolo is really hot right now...

Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

"Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

we did it

I was the only one to make it back to 2024 alive, but we killed Hoetzenberger, sparing the twentieth century the unspeakable horrors of global war

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By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


So you know how mold grows on bread right? and you've heard about evolution? so that old sandwich you dropped back at the end of the ice age- it's now running for president!

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