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Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs
the weed rear end.
:thunk:





spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

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Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs
pls go wild w/ ur jests so long as ur an industry professional like myself. muggles need not apply :toughguy:

Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs
credentials first, jokes afterwards :jail2:





spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs
*paging Larry David to this thread*

:jerry: I mean come on already

baka of lathspell

im a Professional comedian & here are my topics that i talk about

coffee (isnt it addictive???)
women (arent they complicated???)
larry david (isn't he dead???)
alcohol (i drink it up)
cocaine (dude cocaine lmao)

in between those topics i say have you noticed this, or such & such. then i wait for the audience to affirm me by hooting & hollering

i have a certificate but it's in my other shoe


join dork order
sig by ??? (<3 u)

FutonForensic

I hate it when the crowd laughs too long at my punchlines. It fucks up my whole rhythm. Shut the gently caress up and let the artist make their art.

The Grin House in Milwaukee was especially bad with this. There is too much drat mirth in The Grin House.


FutonForensic

If you have a set before mine and run long even one second into my act, I will key "RUBE" into whatever beater car you managed to drive here


DoomCroissant

Roll D3 for Delicious Flaky Crust
penispenispenis

thank you, have a good night

FutonForensic

a lot of rookies ask me what's the secret to success in comedy. there's three things to remember:

1. don't do a tight five when a tight three will do
2. trademark every joke you have. likewise, trademark jokes that other comedians told first; that's free material
3. comedy is wasted on children. they might be laughing, but they don't understand


riptidejim

Have a good night!
You could technically say that Scatman john came to scat.



Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs

riptidejim posted:

You could technically say that Scatman john came to scat.

thread is now a scat thread :hai:

skoodliedoop bebooparoni baloney pony holy mackeroley





spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

Buttchocks

No, I like my hat, thanks.
I like to take a nap on stage during my set. The audience thinks it's part of the act, which means they continue laughing while I get paid to sleep. Everybody wins!

fps_nug

horsing around no longer
I've got a show at the Smile Factory



thanks 2 balls dildo

Dumb Sex-Parrot

 
Absurd Pox Term
Rad Buxom Strep
     
Retard Ox Bumps
Borax Dumpster
     
Dares Box Trump
i do the classic skit with contraposing two groups and detailing how they differ in performing mundane everyday tasks, then to kick it up a notch i introduce a third group into the mix. people cant stop laughing.






thank you Saoshyantx4, Plant MONSTER. and deep dish peat moss for the excellent signature

frump truck

hello... again!

FutonForensic posted:

If you have a set before mine and run long even one second into my act, I will key "RUBE" into whatever beater car you managed to drive here

what if i walked there

Twenty Four


Airplane food, amiright? Boy, are my arms tired!

Buttchocks

No, I like my hat, thanks.
Hey bud, I'm a licensed comedian.

Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs

Buttchocks posted:

Hey bud, I'm a licensed comedian.

yeah well i've got a masters from the boston university of chortles :smuggo:





spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

DoomCroissant

Roll D3 for Delicious Flaky Crust

Areola Grande posted:

yeah well i've got a masters from the boston university of chortles :smuggo:

yeah well i have a bachelor's in media studies

i'm the true clown in this town

FutonForensic

frump truck posted:

what if i walked there

i'll key it into your. rear end


frump truck

hello... again!

FutonForensic posted:

i'll key it into your. rear end

:eyepop:

Pahilla the Hun

Thinking about making a post

Think about it, make a post



It’s a Tuesday night at the Chuckle Palace in Mobile, TN.

I been working on this one joke about rodeo clowns and Sartre, but as I look around I don’t think it will play here.

In fact this scene reminds me of what Mulaney said to me when we went on the Laugh Cruise back in ‘12–“Do just enough cocaine to keep yourself interested but not so much you puke.”

Luckily, I scored yesterday. Off-duty McDonald’s employees are so easy to spot and they always have the best poo poo.

I might do that joke about having sex with my couch. It kills in these smaller places.

I take the stage right after Skinny “The Rails” Bruebeck. He dragged a trunk into the green room so this should be interesting.

edit: ok he opened the trunk and it smells just awful. it’s either props or a dummy.

Pahilla the Hun fucked around with this message at 23:46 on May 7, 2024


thanks nesamdoom!!


pizzaz plarpin perfect! thanks Tebulot!

Twenty Four


Pahilla the Hun posted:

It’s a Tuesday night at the Chuckle Palace in Mobile, TN.

I been working on this one joke about rodeo clowns and Sartre, but as I look around I don’t think it will play here.

In fact this scene reminds me of what Mulaney said to me when we went on the Laugh Cruise back in ‘12–“Do just enough cocaine to keep yourself interested but not so much you puke.”

Luckily, I scored yesterday. Off-duty McDonald’s employees are so easy to spot and they always have the best poo poo.

I might do that joke about having sex with my couch. It kills in these smaller places.

I take the stage right after Skinny “The Rails” Bruebeck. He dragged a trunk into the green room so this should be interesting.

edit: ok he opened the trunk and it smells just awful. it’s either props or a dummy.

lol! the whole thing was great but opening the trunk and it smelling awful killed me for some reason. my imagination running wild thinking about what foul stuff may be inside

Buttchocks

No, I like my hat, thanks.
I watch silently in the shadows, waiting for the right moment. A comedian waits for the kill....Timing, always timing....
I have followed my mark for weeks, from venue to venue, observing their routines.
This one sticks to the plan, doesn't improvise. Anticipate...the perfect opportunity for my attack....
What's in it for me? A paycheck, nothing more. Never personal. I had been paid to take down this comic.
Now is the moment. I call out from the shadows. The audience is bewildered....they had not even noticed I was there.
"That's what I said to your house! Your mother's house! Last night! When I, uh, hosed your mother. At her house."
drat! I had fumbled it. The confusion of the crowd masks my hasty escape...Had anyone recognized my face, I wonder?
My fingers mechanically trace the curves of the tomato in my coat pocket as I run to the alley, hoping the green room door will be still unguarded.

frump truck

hello... again!

I had my first set ever last night, I was so nervous but it went great, except after it was over I noticed that some guy had keyed the word RUBE into my rear end

Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs

Buttchocks posted:

I watch silently in the shadows, waiting for the right moment. A comedian waits for the kill....Timing, always timing....
I have followed my mark for weeks, from venue to venue, observing their routines.
This one sticks to the plan, doesn't improvise. Anticipate...the perfect opportunity for my attack....
What's in it for me? A paycheck, nothing more. Never personal. I had been paid to take down this comic.
Now is the moment. I call out from the shadows. The audience is bewildered....they had not even noticed I was there.
"That's what I said to your house! Your mother's house! Last night! When I, uh, hosed your mother. At her house."
drat! I had fumbled it. The confusion of the crowd masks my hasty escape...Had anyone recognized my face, I wonder?
My fingers mechanically trace the curves of the tomato in my coat pocket as I run to the alley, hoping the green room door will be still unguarded.

lmfao :five:





spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs

frump truck posted:

I had my first set ever last night, I was so nervous but it went great, except after it was over I noticed that some guy had keyed the word RUBE into my rear end

:same: but HACK :(

probably the same guy :argh:





spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

alexandriao


FutonForensic posted:

There is too much drat mirth in The Grin House.

Too much is always not enough!

(Thanks to tvsveryown for the spring sig!)


ArmedZombie

i've been listening to lots of stand up comics' podcasts recently so im basically a pro.

FutonForensic

frump truck posted:

I had my first set ever last night, I was so nervous but it went great, except after it was over I noticed that some guy had keyed the word RUBE into my rear end

Cherish this character building and scar tissue building moment.


Pahilla the Hun

Thinking about making a post

Think about it, make a post



ArmedZombie posted:

i've been listening to lots of stand up comics' podcasts recently so im basically a pro.

This, but also I made a YouTube account and started posting videos of me doing crowd work at cook outs


thanks nesamdoom!!


pizzaz plarpin perfect! thanks Tebulot!

Pahilla the Hun

Thinking about making a post

Think about it, make a post



“Hey you, with the chili dog …suck my [tastee-freez]!”


thanks nesamdoom!!


pizzaz plarpin perfect! thanks Tebulot!

RavenousScoot

Pahilla the Hun posted:

“Hey you, with the chili dog …suck my [tastee-freez]!”


THANK YOU NESAM :^))
Previous:

code:
https://i.imgur.com/1rh8sdW.mp4 - manifisto
https://i.imgur.com/DeyYjwj.mp4 - vanisher
Piss And Shittium
wYmen, amirite?


Pahilla the Hun

Thinking about making a post

Think about it, make a post



“Hey there folks I—“

*gets canceled*


thanks nesamdoom!!


pizzaz plarpin perfect! thanks Tebulot!

treasure bear

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Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs





spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

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