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Executive summary: Found incest book from the 70's in basement of new house, writing so bad it's funny. As some of you may recall, my wife and I recently bought a house in Toronto. The previous owner was an elderly Jewish lady, very sweet and nice. She was selling the house because her husband had just passed away, and she didn't need a whole house to herself. Her son Leon happened to be a real estate agent, so he handled the selling of the house and was our contact for anything house-related. I called him now and then before and after the deal, for example if mail arrived for his mother that didn't get forwarded, things like that. Nice guy. A couple of months ago I finally got around to cleaning out that special happy moist place that every house has, the little nook under the stairs to the basement. (yes, that basement). I found the usual crap - extra brown+yellow tiles for the kitchen floor, extra brown+yellow moldy patches of carpet from the basement, extra brown bathroom tiles and awful wallpaper. (This house was built in the early 70's, remember.) I also found a pile of books. Titles like "Argentina's Economic Development And Effects on Culture" (Argentina has an economy? hurr hurr) and "Economy and Civilization." Very boring. So I called Leon. "Hey Leon. I was cleaning out the basement and I found a bunch of books under the stairs. Mostly to do with economics of countries in South America. What should I do with them?" "Hmmm, those must be my brother's textbooks, from years ago when he did a degree in Economics at York University. I'm sure he doesn't want them, so keep them or sell them, do whatever you want." "OK will do, thanks." Usually, what I do with old unwanted books is donate them to the local Anglican church to sell in their monthly "book bazaar" for charity. I threw all the books in a couple of milk crates for carrying them over, when a cover caught my eye.  OMG - what is this? My fears were confirmed as I read the back cover.  I won't keep you in suspense...I did read it, for purely academic study, of course. Actually it was a was an interesting experience, just when I started to think fapping was necessary, some aspect of the story would make my stomach turn and everything would cancel out. Or more often, the ATROCIOUS WRITING would make me giggle like a schoolgirl and wonder why I was reading this complete and utter trash.  Exhibit A - quality writing on Page 88. Good heavens this is bad. Bad imagery, bad grammar, ugh. When was this crap written?  Oh. Surely it's not all that bad, is it?  Exhibit B - quality writing on Page 147. Nope, it pretty much all sucks and is lame and stupid, sucking in a meandering vague run-on sentence way that is slightly exciting but, overall, can't fulfill! I could write for them. Surely they made more?  Indeed they did. A handy order form in the back, assuming the pages aren't stuck together already. (Fortunately these aren't.) Hey, that 6009-A must be [sarcasm]top notch writing because it's $2.95![/sarcasm] So now I have this...book, which has run its course and now exists only to be scanned and mocked, or worse. What should I do with it? How should I dispose of it? Also, isn't "Jeff Morehead" the best pen name ever?
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Mar 27, 2003 09:37
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| # ? Jun 1, 2024 21:38 |
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I'd like a copy of 'Gay Abandon' please. .au
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Mar 27, 2003 09:40
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i got a half staff just reading the lesbian fever part at the end good find ----------------
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Mar 27, 2003 09:40
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I thought this was gonna be a thread about "Flowers in the Attic"! Gah!
Here's all you need to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. -G. Carlin
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Mar 27, 2003 09:40
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yes! lesbian fever! and witches, loving hawt! so.. are you going to hand them over to the anglicans or not?
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Mar 27, 2003 09:40
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quote:Schema came out of the closet to say: Not as good as "Dick Smothers." Too bad that's someone and his son's real name.
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Mar 27, 2003 09:41
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Interesting thread quad: Funny to me as it's 3:45 am.
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Mar 27, 2003 09:42
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quote:cult_hero came out of the closet to say:
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Mar 27, 2003 09:45
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quote:Schema came out of the closet to say:
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Mar 27, 2003 09:46
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I request that it be sent to me for, uh, further inspection and errr mockery...
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Mar 27, 2003 09:47
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i came 5
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Mar 27, 2003 09:50
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For some reason my mind inserted "lesbian" into the title of this thread, and I was oh so confused when she started getting pounded by her brother. And Morehead is about the most clever porn pen name ever. Buck Naked, bah. Morehead, that could actually be a name.
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Mar 27, 2003 09:52
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quote:Schema came out of the closet to say:
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Mar 27, 2003 09:53
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"Dad plans a BICENTENNIAL ORGY!!" 5
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Mar 27, 2003 09:55
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I saw you put the book in a picture frame and hang it over your mantle.. This find is AMAZING! 5!!
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Mar 27, 2003 09:55
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He has it all, yes he does He knows how to please in every detail He can do more than you'd ever imagine And do it with style, he does it with me, oh yes he does If ever you thought that you knew him Well maybe you did, But you don't He only reveals what he wants you to see And then shows it all, and when he does, he satisfies me If you only knew, just what he could do You'd want him too, if you only knew ----------------
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Mar 27, 2003 09:55
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quote:ford prefect came out of the closet to say: 
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Mar 27, 2003 09:56
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quote:Schema came out of the closet to say:
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Mar 27, 2003 10:01
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quote:MassRayPer came out of the closet to say:
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Mar 27, 2003 10:01
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poo poo, even taboo sex was lovely in the 70s. I must admit, this made me laugh aloud, despite my best efforts, and now, I'm not quite so pissed off at my own attempts at sentence construction; with my meaty palm grasping my pencil twixt thumb and forefinger, effortlessly sliding to the very crown as I rub the head of my eraser along a booboo on the page. If you could only somehow mix the two books. "Click the Start Button"... ----------------
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Mar 27, 2003 10:04
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quote:You Am I came out of the closet to say: site not work safe (google cache) http://216.239.39.100/search?q=cache:QLDIFPyGMjkC:www.e-rauction.com/id554.htm+carlyle+communications+beeline&hl=en&ie=UTF-8 Hahahaha, "Barbara Boinck"
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Mar 27, 2003 10:29
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HOORAY FOR LESBIAN PAPERBACKS! (some covers may not be worksafe) http://www.strangesisters.com/a-z/images/
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Mar 27, 2003 10:35
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nifty.org (or TYGER), motherfucker, do you speak it? (NWS)
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Mar 27, 2003 10:43
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quote:frumpsnake came out of the closet to say: .au
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Mar 27, 2003 10:53
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I think you need to scan some more of the quality writing. The imagery of someone using their "sex-captivated canal" to juice (oranges? grapefruit?) and just keep on juicing...well, drat. Makes me think about Florida in a whole new way, that's for sure. -- i'm sure a mere two paragraphs don't do justice to this book ryan
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Mar 27, 2003 10:54
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Leon's brother might want it back, you know. Unless it belonged to the sweet old lady... :ninja:
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Mar 27, 2003 10:59
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quote:SydBarrett came out of the closet to say: I was going to scream "photoshop photoshop!" but then i realized that these are allready comedy gold* by themselves. *atrocious Also, that chick on the first post cover is HOT. Hell is just a word.
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Mar 27, 2003 11:08
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 It doesn't say whether she's an MCSE or a CCNA though... [edit] Richie Cunningham, you been a bad boy! PS I am w***ing as I write this. Jamesface fucked around with this message at 11:24 on Mar 27, 2003 |
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Mar 27, 2003 11:22
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So...what are the economics books?
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Mar 27, 2003 11:32
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"Stoppered with cock". :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
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Mar 27, 2003 11:56
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god this is better than the two dollar book entitled "The Love pirate" that my friend found at a thrift store. I wish I could find that online to share with you all.
EVERYONE DISCO DANCING
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Mar 27, 2003 12:37
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quote:neato burrito came out of the closet to say: Holden McGroin still wins though.
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Mar 27, 2003 12:51
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"he pounded in that meaty stopper" a-ha-ha-ha-ha
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Mar 27, 2003 13:09
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I found this somewhere. I keep it in the bedstand. It's hilarous. I just know no one wants to read any dialouge out of this one! Faggots galore - one a buck apiece, 6 for $5. They don't come any cheaper.
SASS-756CDBCA
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Mar 27, 2003 13:37
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quote:mackensie came out of the closet to say: I had a good chuckle at that until i saw the name of the author. Then i convulsed into hysterical laughter. Hell is just a word.
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Mar 27, 2003 13:38
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If shonky 70's porn you seek, head over to http://whiteshadow.pornopartners.com/nstories.html. Covers there also. The site's entire security consits of adding the /bridge into your URL unless you have a cookie loaded, and it's easy to edit it out on the fly. One at random I pulled out and saved local :  "Katt plodded wearily across the sand to the tent to inspect the new finds that he had made while she was gone. Her own archaeological mind wondered if he had used the C14 radiocarbon test to date the artifacts- -if he had chemically treated them to preserve them in a different climate? There were two pieces of bone in the glass case; both were tagged. Putting her hands on the edge of rough board, Katt bent over to decipher her husband's scrawled handwriting. "How could someone with a bottom as pretty as yours be interested in ancient artifacts?"
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Mar 27, 2003 14:10
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quote:mackensie came out of the closet to say: Oh god yes! Quote it. Piss off.
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Mar 27, 2003 14:20
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quote:Kase Im Licht came out of the closet to say:
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Mar 27, 2003 15:40
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quote:Trilobite came out of the closet to say:
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Mar 27, 2003 15:41
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| # ? Jun 1, 2024 21:38 |
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You know what the most surreal aspect of a book like that is? Someone, a living, breathing human being actually took time out of their life to write that. At some point in time, alive or dead, there is someone on this earth who can look at that and say, I wrote that. That just blows my mind. On a similar topic, I found a book in a ditch near my house once. A porno paperback called Raped Whipped Mom that was one of the most distrubing things I've ever read. It had everything. Rape, chicks getting poo poo on and pissed on, bondage, incest. It was at this point that I realized there was no god.
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Mar 27, 2003 15:53
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