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Lanky Coconut Tree posted:Bullshit. We give up and go quietly and you will never see snarls, danal or zepath again Double bullshit. You'd rather risk Danal and a bunch others dying than following Bareen. Apparently Enkidel is the biggest El zealot there is.
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Dec 21, 2013 04:31
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Tsyni posted:Double bullshit. You'd rather risk Danal and a bunch others dying than following Bareen. Apparently Enkidel is the biggest El zealot there is. Triple bullshit. I'm hungry.
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Dec 21, 2013 04:37
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Quadruple bullshit, none of this really matters unless we can convince El to strike Bareen down with lightning and thunder.
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Dec 21, 2013 04:39
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Tomn posted:Quadruple bullshit, none of this really matters unless we can convince El to strike Bareen down with lightning and thunder. You have a better chance of asking Asherah to eat her, or your fairy godmother.
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Dec 21, 2013 04:43
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Tsyni posted:You have a better chance of asking Asherah to eat her, or your fairy godmother. What do you suppose happens if we find that shark tooth again and cut someone else's hand with it?
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Dec 21, 2013 04:47
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Tsyni posted:You have a better chance of asking Asherah to eat her, or your fairy godmother. Exactly! So none of this really matters and we may as well try to take a dump on Bareen's sandals.
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Dec 21, 2013 04:48
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Tomn posted:Quadruple bullshit, none of this really matters unless we can convince El to strike Bareen down with lightning and thunder. Offer Bareen as a sacrifice to El. She represents new truths and a life of adventurous valor to us; sacrificing her to El would be most pleasing. [/joking] Or, come to think of it... if we wanted to get in on the metaphysical reality of this game, we should offer up our potential future learning from Bareen in exchange for our immediate escape in the present. El takes an entire probable future from us in exchange for an altered timeline of us hanging out in Zepath, meanwhile Bareen runs off all confused as to what happened.
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Dec 21, 2013 04:49
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HiHo ChiRho posted:BREAK THE CHAINS. You bastard. IN THE NAME OF THE MADGOD FIGHT THE CHAINBREAKER!
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Dec 21, 2013 04:52
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Tsyni posted:Double bullshit. You'd rather risk Danal and a bunch others dying than following Bareen. Apparently Enkidel is the biggest El zealot there is. Tudiya is not impulsive enough to destroy the city to try and kill Bareen. Remember how he acted when we told him we hear voices from Snarls? That we're telepathic with our dog?
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Dec 21, 2013 05:11
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Lanky Coconut Tree posted:Tudiya is not impulsive enough to destroy the city to try and kill Bareen. Remember how he acted when we told him we hear voices from Snarls? That we're telepathic with our dog? On the other hand, to be fair, remember how when we last asked him about the Temple of Melachim, he ended up pounding rock so hard it cracked? How would he react to the news that both his natural son and his adopted son (of great and special power which he has plans for) have been kidnapped by the witch who so angered him before?
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Dec 21, 2013 05:19
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Tomn posted:On the other hand, to be fair, remember how when we last asked him about the Temple of Melachim, he ended up pounding rock so hard it cracked? How would he react to the news that both his natural son and his adopted son (of great and special power which he has plans for) have been kidnapped by the witch who so angered him before? Yeah, if Tudiyah sees us in chains Zepath is gone. Guess we should have invested outside the city, huh guys?
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Dec 21, 2013 05:27
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Yeah, Dio has been quite clear the only reason Tudiya didn't assault the temple of the Melachim was because Ishamel and the high priest stayed his hand. As soon as he realises what is happening, he is going to be furious. And people are going to die.
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Dec 21, 2013 05:30
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Rahul posted:Yeah, Dio has been quite clear the only reason Tudiya didn't assault the temple of the Melachim was because Ishamel and the high priest stayed his hand. Can't help but wonder though if Bareen is telling the truth, and they stopped Tudiya because they had some idea of what was really going on. Bareen suggested that Ishamal knows at least a bit about her, although he doesn't know just how powerful she is, but maybe she was a bit off there.
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Dec 21, 2013 05:59
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Hey Diog - can we ask Snarls what he thinks of Bareen now? And does she still smell nice?
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Dec 21, 2013 06:16
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Ask Snarls how she tastes.
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Dec 21, 2013 06:35
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Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:Ask Snarls how she tastes. Inspiration. And see how that fits next to our findings.
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Dec 21, 2013 07:11
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Quoted votes without a number underneath are just one vote. Diog, you made this vote retarded, so I am assuming that multiple vote options are viable, like Stomp her foot, scream for El, and...X: send snarls to safety. Ok, also note that lots of people voted for Ralith, and several people voted for variations of that, so I've included everything. If a bunch of people voted for Snarls to get Ishamal, plus punch her, I may have just included your vote in one of the plans below, so that there isn't a million X votes. Also, if multiple people voted for your plan I just included it below, rather than split it up into its constituent parts. I am leaving a few things out, like a random bite the nose thing here, or jazzyhatricks speech, since it never got off the ground, but I believe this is a fair accounting of everyone's intentions. One vote against Ralith, and one vote against sending Snarls to get Ishamal. a - 6 b - 4 c - 1 f - 3 g - 1 j - 1 k - 4 l - 1 w - 1 x: Ralith posted:X. Scream incoherently and punch her in the face as hard as we can. This is not going to succeed; it is a distraction. While doing that, telepathically order Snarls to fetch Ishamal as fast as he possibly can. Zybourne Clock posted:X Snarls, get Ishamal. JT Jag posted:We need to wait until we have a better opportunity. I propose that act like we are going along with her reluctantly, and then when we enter the wastelands which are Azzazel's domain (as she must if she plans to exit the city) we call for his aid. So, X with a splash of A I guess. DCBomB posted:X - Plan Tyson Theparker posted:X Have Snarls back off, we don't want him getting splattered. Ego Trip posted:X Tomn posted:E+F+X, sort of: Use our right hand to grab at the bronze knife and stab at the wrist grabbing at our mouth. If she grabs for our right hand with her left hand, grab at the stone knife and stab at the wrist grabbing our mouth again. The key point isn't to stab her, she'll probably stop us, but to get her to stop holding our mouth. Hiss: "You are bound by the same chains as the sons of Labaras, but I will not be bound again!" Then draw in breath - draw in a really deep breath. Draw in a Mighty Man breath and yell "DAMAT!" jazzyhattrick posted:X: edit: Changed my mind: Hunger! let's see whether or not we're strong enough to fight back if we're willing to get a little hungry. If we win eat bareen and absorb her power. Sogol posted:X RandomPauI posted:X A Terrible Person posted:Changing my vote to X: Muster enough strength to pry Bareen's hand away from our mouth with our free hand and then scream out, with every ounce of force we can muster, "I AM ENKIDEL, SON OF JALITHA OF BAITEL! SON OF TUDIYA OF ZEPATH BY PLEDGE! BLOODED, BUT FROM THE LINE OF ENKIDU AND NOT LABARAS!!" Basscop posted:I vote X: Crudus posted:Do whatever is needed to free our mouth so we can yell for help. Summon all our Mighty Man power to boom out a yell that shakes the city. Vavrek posted:X: Attempt to say "If you hurt my dog, I will end you." Do not otherwise resist or send Snarls away. Angela Christine posted:WX Attempt to fart and poop on her. Also, make our hunger useful for once and EAT HER FINGERS. In closing, let me just say that Asherah will rise again, and may she consume you all.
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Dec 21, 2013 08:45
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I propose we go along with it, but we tell Snarls to make sure Ishamal, Tudiya, Danal, etc, know we didn't go willingly. Tudiya, at least, can see into his mind so we will leave a message of us being kidnapped. Also say not to worry, because we have plans. The first spot of desolate wilderness we find, we call out to Azzazel. We refuse to partake in any rites honoring Melachim. We refuse to learn magic. We will hear her tales, though. And her explanation of us. But we will not cooperate. And then Azzazel will kick her rear end and/or confirm her story.
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Dec 21, 2013 08:47
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SerSpook posted:I propose we go along with it, but we tell Snarls to make sure Ishamal, Tudiya, Danal, etc, know we didn't go willingly. Tudiya, at least, can see into his mind so we will leave a message of us being kidnapped. Also say not to worry, because we have plans. You're basically voting for JT Jags plan, if you look above at the vote count.
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Dec 21, 2013 08:48
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Tsyni posted:You're basically voting for JT Jags plan, if you look above at the vote count. I also want to turn Snarla into an e-mail to Tudiya 
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Dec 21, 2013 08:53
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SerSpook posted:I also want to turn Snarla into an e-mail to Tudiya
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Dec 21, 2013 08:55
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Think we ought to avoid relying too heavily on Azzazel. He's fond of us, maybe, and willing to help us out with some smaller things, particularly when we trade him something, but that doesn't necessarily extend to bringing down the wrath of the heavens on people we don't like. Hell, might even turn out that he's pretty cool with Bareen too, I don't know how he is about picking sides.
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Dec 21, 2013 09:01
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JT Jag posted:I think the "send Snarls to Ishamal" and "play along for now" votes are completely compatable. I honestly think sending Snarls to Ishamal is not a very good idea which is why I just want to try to leave a message for King-Dad. A fight, right now, between Bareen, Tudiya, and Ishamal is probably like something out of the Old Tales. Not something that should happen in Zepath.
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Dec 21, 2013 09:02
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I just want to bite her fingers.
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Dec 21, 2013 09:16
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Goddamnit. First of all, let me say that I severely dislike the sound of my own voice when recorded. Secondly, I have an all-new respect for anyone who makes music or sounds for a living. But what's done is done, and without further ado, I present: Deus Ex Enkidel - A musical summary of the thread thus far.  For those who have trouble making out what in the Sam Hill I'm singing, the lyrics. quote:We are Enkidel If anyone with more musical talent, knowledge of editing, auditory taste or really any sense of sound at all beyond "Hey, that one Yahtzee lyrical go of the Deus Ex theme was pretty funny, how hard can it be to replicate that?" would like to give the lyrics a better go, feel free. Oh, by the way. Voting X - Do not tell Snarls to run for help. I'd rather be sure he stays alive, and stays with us wherever we're going, I think, in the end.
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Dec 21, 2013 09:30
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Tomn posted:Voting X - Do not tell Snarls to run for help. I'd rather be sure he stays alive, and stays with us wherever we're going, I think, in the end. Changing my vote to this.
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Dec 21, 2013 09:34
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By the way, looking the votes over a bit - Azzazel is not going to help us kick Bareen's rear end, I almost guarantee it. For that matter, even though I want to get to him ASAP and ask him questions about the world, I'm not even convinced that he'll be able to tell us much - part of the reason for his cryptic bullshit was because he was an evasive (but roguishly charming) jackass, but the other part is because he'll apparently get in trouble if he tells too much or draws too much attention. Telling us every secret of the universe is unlikely, and kicking mortal rear end in our name? Right the hell out. That said, if he starts cackling up a storm as Bareen tries to speak of the wisdom and glory of the Melachim, that might sow some doubts in her mind, maybe. Or it'll convince her Azzazel is actually a demon in disguise pretending to be a Melachim. One or the other.
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Dec 21, 2013 09:45
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Though it is not likely to get votes at this point a more aggressive course of action with Bareen would be: Push back with all our strength. She knows the altar is there and will take us off our feet so she will resist. As soon as we feel the resistance drop down and tuck forward. This will project her over our head in a somersault. She will have to release her grip. Her superior size, strength and weight are a real disadvantage to her in this. Our lower center makes it easier to uproot her. Since we suddenly remove resistance in the direction of her own strength and add ours, she is projected forward with that combined force. Her weight and armor add to the force of the impact when she hits. If we are particularly pissed off (which I would suggest we are) we can accelerate the back of her head into the floor and push ourself upright as she comes over our head. This is unlikely to kill her, but will potentially stun her a bit giving us space. We need to do our best to secure Snarls and Danal regardless of ideological niceties or eventualities. Apparently we need to go and find the Kardomin.
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Dec 21, 2013 09:59
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Sogol posted:Though it is not likely to get votes at this point a more aggressive course of action with Bareen would be: I like this, my only concern is failure due to "gently caress you, I'm magic." Plus, we still need to get through a temple full of Bareen's minions, many of whom were probably in on the plan from the beginning. But then again, fuckit, let's make the bitch work for this. Changing my vote to this, but also throw in the command to have Snarls grab Danal and run for help.
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Dec 21, 2013 10:21
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the_steve posted:I like this, my only concern is failure due to "gently caress you, I'm magic." Voting for this plan.
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Dec 21, 2013 11:59
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Bareen isn't going to kill Snarls. She knows that if she abducts us, she might be able to eventually convince us to join the dark side. She knows that killing Snarls means we will never come to trust her again. The worst she'll do to our dog is hit him with a magical sleep spell or something to that effect. Sending out Snarls still is our best bet if we want to escape from the church within the next ten minutes. Barring a lucky one-in-a-million insta-death knife strike to Bareen's jugular, our other options for escape are rather limited and less than pleasant. By breaking our pact with Xuriel and attempting to cast Vayahi Or, we will likely black out and get sent to the dreamscape, where we can explain our situation to the melachim. Or if we don't want to break the pact, Enkidel can use his bronze knife to stab himself in the heart and achieve the same effect. Bareen is known to throw around faith healings like candy and we are the sole reason she set up shop in Zepath, so we're practically guaranteed to be brought back to life.
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Dec 21, 2013 13:10
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Bareen splatters Snarls. "You will understand when you are older."
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Dec 21, 2013 15:36
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Ralith posted:X. Scream incoherently and punch her in the face as hard as we can. This is not going to succeed; it is a distraction. While doing that, telepathically order Snarls to fetch Ishamal as fast as he possibly can. Sounds good to me.
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Dec 21, 2013 15:59
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I vote to not send Snarls because I don't want him to get hurt.
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Dec 21, 2013 15:59
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Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:Bareen splatters Snarls. "You will understand when you are older." "Come with me and I will explain everything about why I just flattened your dog" *half the voters vote yes*
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Dec 21, 2013 16:14
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Lanky Coconut Tree posted:"Come with me and I will explain everything about why I just flattened your dog" Bareen knows we telepathically speak with our dog, and her and her gathered followers will likely stop any attempt he makes to break for the door with force. *half the voters vote for him to run and get the guy who may or may not be using us as a pawn*
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Dec 21, 2013 16:50
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Task Manager posted:Bareen knows we telepathically speak with our dog, and her and her gathered followers will likely stop any attempt he makes to break for the door with force. *to stop the woman who is definatly kidnapping us*
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Dec 21, 2013 18:07
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Task Manager posted:*half the voters vote for him to run and get the guy who may or may not be using us as a pawn* Unless Diog omitted some details about our nighttime drinking parties with him and his gang, that guy has never chained us up in the middle of a temple.
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Dec 21, 2013 18:10
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Ego Trip posted:*to stop the woman who is definatly kidnapping us* the_steve posted:Unless Diog omitted some details about our nighttime drinking parties with him and his gang, that guy has never chained us up in the middle of a temple. Completely agree! She's being really lovely right now. She thinks its all for the greater good, but that doesnt excuse kiddnapping. All I'm saying is if we are worried so much about Snarls getting hurt, maybe not send him on a suicide mission to get anyone right now?
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Dec 21, 2013 18:14
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this is an existential battle and if you think that bareen kidnapping us means she's the badguy youre really naive imo esp considering tudiya and ishamal also kidnapped us
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Dec 21, 2013 18:17
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