vyelkin posted:

Despite a change in management and an improvement in play, largely due to the central midfield injection of Korean international Ki Sung-Yueng, the latest Great American Hope has scored just once in 14 league appearances. Whether paired with Scottish international or playing as a lone striker, no great success has yet come.



lmao Steven Fletcher doesn't even have a name anymore, he's just Scottish International.

vyelkin posted:

I'm going to refer to him as the Scotintern from now on.

jyrka posted:

What's wrong with these people? This has to be at least fifth or sixth thing written about Jozy in that tone. Are they joking? What is this poo poo?

quote:

John Terry could not believe it. This glistening five-tool striker had made him feel vulnerable, submissive, sexy. Jozy had the muscles of a racehorse, a cock like a racehorse, and the first touch of a racehorse. John Terry gasped as the ball crashed into the net. "I want you inside me," he whispered into Jozy's ear.

jyrka posted:

What's wrong with these people? This has to be at least fifth or sixth thing written about Jozy in that tone. Are they joking? What is this poo poo?

vaginal culture posted:

It is mental illness often seen in American soccer fans who actually don't like sports but are such complete yuppie garbage that soccer is the most non mainstream thing they can latch onto

Cart Cam posted:

tbp can you please confirm if you will have a unique picture for if he gets transferred or gets a serious injury?

Fag Boy Jim posted:

I don't even know what to quote here the entire thing is just incredibly awful
http://theclassical.org/articles/why-we-watch-jozy-altidore-before-dawn

J Hume posted:

erotic Jozy fan fic

Healbot posted:

Poor Hull. Still struggling to find a striker after their star left years ago.

quote:

Shakira's nipples were harder than a Jozy Altidore free kick. "I can't believe you rallied to become Sunderland's all-time leading scorer in just half a season," she said.

"And that you won the golden boot and led the US to win the World Cup." Beyoncé was wetter than a summer in Manaus.

"Congratulations on you $200 million transfer to Real Madrid." John Terry did not try to hide his erection. "It's too bad they're dropping Ronaldo, but you'll be a massive upgrade."

"What's it like to be filled with such epic American greatness?" they asked.

"It's incredible," Jozy said. "I'll show you." He let the silk robe fall from his shoulders to the floor.

belgend posted:

I don't think that article was an invitation to do worse mr Hume

vaginal culture posted:

vaginal culture posted:

80085 posted:

Pretty hosed up of that guy to trip Jozy like that

vaginal culture posted:

Taff posted:

clearly photshopped, its like the Diouf ones that Finn did a thread on. Someones photoshopped out a massive sliding tackle

vaginal culture posted:

Pissflaps posted:

What does 'five-tool striker' mean?

quote:

5-tool player[edit]
The ideal position player (non-pitcher); an athlete who excels at hitting for average, hitting for power, baserunning skills and speed, throwing ability, and fielding abilities.[2] In Major League Baseball, players considered five-tool players have included Hall of Famers Willie Mays,[3] Andre Dawson,[4] and Duke Snider,[2][5] as well as Barry Bonds, and Ken Griffey, Jr.[2][6] Active players who have been described as possessing the five tools include Carlos Gonzalez,[7] Alex Rodriguez,[2][6] Mike Trout, Matt Kemp,[8] Bryce Harper,[9][10] Yasiel Puig,[11] Carlos Beltran, and Ryan Braun.[12] Baseball Digest has argued that the five-tool-player label is overvalued. However, the five tools continue to be the things professional scouts consider when evaluating young players' potential.[13]