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Chief Petty Officer's Log Stardate 897192873.0012 It's been one year since that fateful day when I was assigned to the U.S.S. Voyager to aid in the pursuit of Maquis agents. It was supposed to be a quick mission, with me simply lending my expert engineering aid for the voyage. Oh, how simple things seemed back then. Now I'm stuck with this boat of maniacs. The EMH is a humorless dillweed that makes Crusher seem like a party animal. The navigator is a hotshot show-off who gets us into more trouble than he saves us from. And if the Commander bothers me one more time about his hokey okuchimoya crap, I'll show him what my ancestors are capable of. I miss my friends. I miss my wife. I can't help but think that in an alternate universe, I would have been happy. End Log
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Jan 10, 2014 02:32
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"So Chakotay helped my find my spirit animal. Turns out it was a bottle of scotch!"
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Jan 10, 2014 02:36
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Hi guys whats going on in this thread
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Jan 10, 2014 05:34
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Personal Log Why does this universe continue to mock me? Why does the sweet release of death still escape me? Everytime someone gets married around here they die. Sisko, Worf, Dr. Crusher, all happily widowed. And yet Keiko still lives. I guess I thought "Hey why not get married, it's not like it will last forever." I hope fate is getting a good laugh out of all this. "Hey let's screw up his career and his head but make his marriage last!" I no longer fear hell. It has to be better than this.
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Jan 10, 2014 05:39
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Miles O'Brian posted:Hi guys whats going on in this thread Name not spelled the same. Immersion ruined.
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Jan 10, 2014 05:39
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There was that time Keiko was possessed by a demonic alien. I didn't even notice the difference at first.
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Jan 10, 2014 05:43
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remember that time O'Brien almost nailed that Cardassian chick
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Jan 10, 2014 06:21
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hi im miles O'Brien.
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Jan 10, 2014 06:21
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Costello Jello posted:Does he really hate NCOs? I guess it makes sense though, since I can't think of a single NCO in the history of Star Trek except O'Brien. I'm pretty sure it was actually Ron Moore who hates NCOs for whatever reason, considering how much Tyrol got shat on in BSG.
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Jan 10, 2014 06:33
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LEGO Genetics posted:remember that time O'Brien almost nailed that Cardassian chick Funny story about that. I was sitting in Quark's one night and they started razzing me on having a spoonhead fetish because of her. I'm trying to play along and trying to hide how right they were, and it must have been the drink because I think I said something like, "I wouldn't mind takin' her out back and showin' her a REAL 'occupation', if you know what I mean... That's one Cardassian hole I wouldn't mind working in all day long..." Bar goes dead silent, like I said something wrong. And a bunch of Bajorans just start filing out of the bar and staring at me like I'm a monster. What. The. Hell.
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Jan 10, 2014 06:43
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nucleicmaxid posted:hi im miles O'Brien. Not another one. Setting phaser to kill.
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Jan 10, 2014 07:00
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LEGO Genetics posted:remember that time O'Brien almost nailed that Cardassian chick Yeah, that hurts the theory that O'Brien married the sole space asian because of his crippling spoon-triggered PTSD.
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Jan 10, 2014 07:02
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Fandyien posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNyut2fgf5w Holy crap this guy is the redshirt that just wont die.
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Jan 10, 2014 07:11
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The Cardassian War was hell on the us Starfleet troops. It was our generation's Vietnam or the Second American Civil War.
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Jan 10, 2014 07:26
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Ever since I banged keiko when she was a kid she never leaves me alone with Molly.
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Jan 10, 2014 07:29
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Evil Sagan posted:Chief Petty Officer's Log Stardate 897192873.0012 Neelix told me he didn't know how to make whiskey so I hosed with the transporter to merge him and that humourless autist Tuvok. Boy did that backfire. It's created this abomination Tuvix which combines the worst aspects of both and looks more ridiculous than any other race I've ever seen. The most appalling thing is the loving crew are accepting him and treating him like he isn't a subhuman abomination. Janeway has told me next time we encounter a Sphere we plan to beam a Photon Torpedo into it. Little does she know transporters don't work on Photon Torpedoes, but I'm not about to rob the universe of a chance to wipe out this collection of morons.
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Jan 10, 2014 07:56
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Hey Miles what are you up to? / 
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Jan 10, 2014 11:01
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LEGO Genetics posted:remember that time O'Brien almost nailed that Cardassian chick He should've gone through with it. Keiko was dumb enough to buy the whole "cross-cultural misunderstanding" and would've told him to do it, like the times she insisted he almost-bang Major Kira.
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Jan 10, 2014 11:06
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I hope for his sake it was Kim and not her fat sister.
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Jan 10, 2014 11:24
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Professor Shark posted:Hey Miles what are you up to? That mockery of a Starfleet uniform makes my hand slide towards my phaser every time. The only thing that stops me is the knowledge that Janeway is going to execute him.
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Jan 10, 2014 11:25
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Neelix was the worst character in the Star Trek Universe.
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Jan 10, 2014 11:30
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Miles was "da bomb diggity" in DS9. Haters need not respond.
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Jan 10, 2014 11:34
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Professor Shark posted:Neelix was the worst character in the Star Trek Universe. 
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Jan 10, 2014 11:35
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A bunch of loving terrorists were promoted above me on Voyager. I could stomach it when it was Kira because Bajorans are a race of terrorists, but some loving magical Red Indian is a Commander? What in the gently caress?
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Jan 10, 2014 11:36
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would o'brien even be the chief engineer on voyager? i mean they had tom paris's baby momma do it. i bet he would be stuck in the transporter room again.
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Jan 10, 2014 11:41
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Because he is O'Brien he would probably be passed over despite being able to jury rig compatibility between two completely alien technologies and keep everything running smoothly and being pretty competent in general. I've actually revised my thinking on O'Brien and the terrorists. Because O'Brien is Irish and hates the Cardies he would probably get on famously with Chakotay and co.
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Jan 10, 2014 11:49
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ya but outside of the pilot and maybe 1 other episode, i dont think the maquis ever do anything related to terrorism. or bring it up at all. so they would hate him
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Jan 10, 2014 11:51
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Voyager could have been awesome. Instead it was a campy feel-good learn a lesson crap.
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Jan 10, 2014 11:55
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My wife asked me to put my dish back in the replicator, it's like five feet over there UGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH And sometimes she wants to eat food that she chooses instead of irish bar food every meal. What a BIIIIIIIIIIIITCH
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Jan 10, 2014 12:26
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sure, i kind of distrust cardies, but this one is just a kid, you know? grew up on bajor, even. almost feel sorry for him, knowing what his people did. and you know what kind of food keiko made? cardassian food. like he's ever touched the stuff! sure, next we can feed a mexican kid raised in the uk tacos, you racist.
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Jan 10, 2014 12:30
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Keiko could make one meal for each of them it's not like asking a loving replicator to make an order is hard. If they had shown Miles with pub meals every episode I would have believed him happy notwithstanding other Keiko nonsense because a good steak + bar chips is always good. Chief of Operations log stardate 8342 After seeing what Worf does to the station's sewerage system I think I understand why Jadzia went for him over Julian. I figure after 300+ years of life vanilla sex with good looking people must get a little boring. So when a guy comes onto the station who spews litres of green semen every time he gets off and shits 3kg turds that have actual fur it must be a huge turn on. I don't even want to know what Jadzia does in the bedroom but I imagine a lot of water sports. I don't know whether Julian would be insulted or gratified if I told him. Then again Julian is pretty weird himself. His last squeezes were a cripple, a prostitute employed at Quark's, and an autistic girl who got better. I suspect he runs amputee porn programs in the holosuite but I think it would be a violation of trust for me to check.
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Jan 10, 2014 12:31
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sorry but this needs to be on every page
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Jan 10, 2014 12:32
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Kazy posted:and you know what kind of food keiko made? cardassian food. like he's ever touched the stuff! sure, next we can feed a mexican kid raised in the uk tacos, you racist. Realtalk though - Taspar eggs look pretty delicious, I dunno what Picard was being such a little bitch about
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Jan 10, 2014 12:39
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Please someone do better.
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Jan 10, 2014 13:24
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WeAreTheRomans posted:Realtalk though - Taspar eggs look pretty delicious, I dunno what Picard was being such a little bitch about Piccard was a good federation captain but would be poo poo to hang out with. Little mister "Boo Hoo, I reached the pinnacle of a career in science by being the chief astrophysicist on the flagship of the federation, but my life is worthless poo poo water because I can't tell everyone to do exactly what I want them to do. I would rather literally DIE than live in this hell one second longer." Can you imagine being in a group of people with him trying to get a pizza. Everyone else would be like, "Yeah, sausage and green peppers sounds good." But Picard would demand goofy poo poo like snails and when he got voted down he'd pout like a bitch all night. There's a reason in his old age he spent all his time pruning grape vines all day by himself, and it wasn't by choice.
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Jan 10, 2014 13:30
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No. 6 posted:Please someone do better. good enough for me 
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Jan 10, 2014 13:44
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This is a bit of a general question but how the hell does society work in Star trek? If there's no money how could you buy a space ship without joining starfleet. I doubt you could just replicate one. If you wanted to open a shop how would you? No one can go out of business so you can't buy a property.
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Jan 10, 2014 13:58
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MegaGatts posted:Piccard was a good federation captain but would be poo poo to hang out with. Little mister "Boo Hoo, I reached the pinnacle of a career in science by being the chief astrophysicist on the flagship of the federation, but my life is worthless poo poo water because I can't tell everyone to do exactly what I want them to do. I would rather literally DIE than live in this hell one second longer." Can you imagine being in a group of people with him trying to get a pizza. Everyone else would be like, "Yeah, sausage and green peppers sounds good." But Picard would demand goofy poo poo like snails and when he got voted down he'd pout like a bitch all night. There's a reason in his old age he spent all his time pruning grape vines all day by himself, and it wasn't by choice. Sorry, Picard owns. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAqsU-BY58w You know what, Tasha Yar was pretty hot.
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Jan 10, 2014 13:59
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I'm watching early DS9 and Alexander Siddig overacts so much and it is really funny. Edit: sorry Siddig El Tahir El Fadil El Siddig Abderrahman Mohammed Ahmed Abdel Karim El Mahdi (Arabic: صدّيق الطاهر الفاضل الصدّيق عبدالرحمن محمد أحمد عبدالكريم المهدي Ṣiddīq aṭ-Ṭāhir al-Fāḍil aṣ-Ṣiddīq ʿAbd ur-Raḥman Muḥammad ʾAḥmad ʿAbd ul-Karīm al-Mahdī, not Alexander Siddig.
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Jan 10, 2014 14:07
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Neurosis posted:I'm watching early DS9 and Alexander Siddig overacts so much and it is really funny. Holier than Kai Winn.
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Jan 10, 2014 14:12
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