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JT Smiley posted:ToastyPotato I need you to write a book all about Smallville. I seriously had more fun reading that than I ever did during the three seasons I managed to sit through. Soonmot posted:No poo poo, please effort post ASAP, I can't believe that poo poo! I'm afraid that my general knowledge of the early seasons has kind of bled together, possibly due to a hemorrhage of some sort. But one thing I do remember are the unusually high amount of (sometimes on campus) student DEATHS at Smallville High that were constantly forgotten about the very next episode. This happened more during the freak of the week days before they started inserted comic book characters at every chance. Other noteworthy things I can recall before I turn in for the night: Chloe was built up for years as a possible potential love interest for Clark. They went so far as to have her become interested in journalism while at high school, taking up the pen name LOIS LANE. About a year later they introduce actual Lois Lane, who is less Lois Lanish than Chloe for like the next season or two until she decides to become a journalist for some reason that I can't remember now. Chloe fell for Fake Jimmy for a while, but then had a love triangle with Doomsday. Chloe became The Oracle for some reason in all but name. She also became like a living computer or something. She also died and came back. I think that is how she became a computer? Bruce Wayne was almost certainly added to the show and then they changed their mind and revealed him to be some guy named Adam Knight who was crazy and a bad guy I guess. Then they brought on Oliver Queen who was literally Batman/Bruce Wayne but totally not because he's actually the Green Arrow we swear. Speedy may or may not have been a prostitute. A female prostitute, for clarification. Who was also an underground fight club participant. Doomsday was an ambulance driver. Amanda Waller, the Suicide Squad, and STAR Labs all made appearances. Lex Luthor was a legitimately swell guy for half the series, but Clark Kent was basically a SuperDick to him the entire time and drove him into villainy. His dad, Lionel Luthor, was super evil for 95% of the series but that didn't stop Mrs. Kent from kind of having feelings for him after Pa Kent died because Lionel Luthor practically killed him. Jor El was a massive prick and even killed an innocent teen girl to teach Clark a lesson, and also made him think he still had a living relative by making the girl think she was Kara El. Then the real Kara El showed up anyway years later. I am 75% sure that Lana Lang was raped by Bizarro pretending to be Clark over the course of several days. A real scene from Smallville: Clark: What are you?! Bizarro: I'm you, just more BIZARRE. Lana Lang got Clarks powers briefly and they had Earthquake sex. That might have been Bizarro though? I don't remember. I think they actually retconned Bizarro in. He appeared, was "defeated" but then a couple of episodes later it was revealed that it was Clark who was defeated, and Bizarro had taken his place. The sex happened in between. There was an episode about illegal Mexican immigrants getting sucked into the ground. One major season plot was Lex Luthor being possessed by General Zod, and Zod's pals coming to Smallville to break stuff. Years later, Zod himself actually came to Earth and nearly took over, but he was actually only a clone or something like that, so I guess Lex Zod was the real one? Clark's dad visited Earth decades before via some kind of portal. This was an excuse to have Tom Welling and Kruek dress up in 50's clothing for a 50's themed episode. I am pretty sure that actually happened. They literally did the tear drop resurrection thing as a serious dramatic moment. Almost every episode ended in the Kent barn, even when they basically all moved out of Smallville and into Metropolis it seemed. Aquaman, in his first episode, suggests to Clark that they form a JLA after they successfully team up to beat the bad guys. Clark asks what it stands for, and he answers, JUNIOR LIFEGUARD ASSOCIATION. This is because he is a lifeguard you see. The Flash is a teenager and his name is Bart Allen. He has stolen IDs for the other Flashes so it is totally cool for him to be the first Flash in this universe. He is never referred to as the Flash however, even though he is wearing red. In his next appearance, he calls himself Impulse. Martian Manhunter shows up half way through the series and then proceeds to vanish and never show up to help Clark through things that could have been easily solved by a man with his very specific set of superpowers. It can be assumed that Kara joined him in his adventures. Kara basically Superwoman's it up long before Clark has the balls to even come up with any kind of name. THEN she vanishes. It was probably because he became the Red Blue Blur. His costume was a red leather jacket and whatever he happened to be wearing at the time (which was a blue shirt and jeans, of course.) Except for the time when it was a black trench coat with a black t shirt. Doomsday was basically a werewolf made of rocks. I genuinely feel like there were at least three episodes in which Lana Lang was possessed by something in order for her to get super powers and also be the villain for an episode. "It's ok, you weren't yourself." This was a slot on the Smallville bingo cards because that is how many times people got possessed on the show. Lana suffered dozens of concussions over the course of the series because it was literally the only way the writers could have her be both the damsel in distress while at the same time not letting her see or remember Clark rescuing her. I'm pretty sure Clark's dad died because of Lana as well. I think he was presented with a time travel choice and had to let his dad die for reasons that made everyone groan. The writers literally had no clue what to do with the character of Tess Mercer. Which was basically the same problem they had with Lex or even Lionel. They couldn't commit them to a characterization. Probably why they ended up revealing they were secretly were all related (she was Lionel's illegitimate daughter.) The show had no qualms about doing episodes themed around popular films of the time, including a car racing episode around the time Fast and the Furious became popular. I want to say that there was also a Matrix-ish episode as well. There were definitely others, but I cannot remember them. Doomsday came to Earth on Clark's rocket in the form of some genetic material. He formed into a boy and watched as Clark was taken by the Kents from behind some bushes. Lionel Luthor's people find him there, because there turned out to be a huge prophecy about Clark's arrival all along, which means Lionel was being a DICK for years even though he firmly believed in a prophecy that would explain ALL of the weird poo poo happening in Smallville. Kidsday met little Lex once, but when Lionel realized he wasn't the right alien he decided to dump him off somewhere, where he lead a normal life for years and years as a foster kid. Smallville was stated as being at least a 3 hour drive away from Metropolis. The show then shifted to Metropolis, but since sets are expensive, characters routinely made this drive for the most mundane reasons. Such as going to work. Additionally, Smallville is in Kansas, and for this show, Metropolis is ALSO in Kansas. And for this show, a city located in Kansas can have a harbor. ToastyPotato fucked around with this message at 07:15 on Jan 14, 2014 |
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Jan 14, 2014 07:10
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ToastyPotato posted:
You can thank Kevin Smith for this as she was a real character from the book.
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Jan 14, 2014 07:17
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ToastyPotato posted:Chloe was built up for years as a possible potential love interest for Clark. They went so far as to have her become interested in journalism while at high school, taking up the pen name LOIS LANE. About a year later they introduce actual Lois Lane, who is less Lois Lanish than Chloe for like the next season or two until she decides to become a journalist for some reason that I can't remember now. This is the dumbest thing I've ever read, until I read the rest of your post. Holy poo poo, I had no idea things got that bad! Didn't the last episode end with a poorly CGI'd superman because Welling didn't want to wear the suit? I remember seeing a clip of it on Youtube and it looked like rear end.
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Jan 14, 2014 07:29
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Funny enough once they found what they wanted to do with Lois she became a highlight of the show. She worked it was just most everything else failed.
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Jan 14, 2014 07:32
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Jensen Ackles also showed up as regular for a season/season and half like an original character who was at first Clark's romantic rival, then a good friend and lastly, a totally crazy guy with a serious oedipus complex who got unceremoniously killed because Ackles had to left the show to do Supernatural. Smallville really was an awful show 
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Jan 14, 2014 07:33
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Dark_Tzitzimine posted:Jensen Ackles also showed up as regular for a season/season and half like an original character who was at first Clark's romantic rival, then a good friend and lastly, a totally crazy guy with a serious oedipus complex who got unceremoniously killed because Ackles had to left the show to do Supernatural. You forgot that was the season that Lana Lane became a witch that knew karate due to getting a tattoo or something.
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Jan 14, 2014 07:35
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bobkatt013 posted:You forgot that was the season that Lana Lane became a witch that knew karate due to getting a tattoo or something. I totally forgot about that, Ackles character was also a bargain bin Luthor iirc. It always amused me than he was introduced like a old childhood friend to Luthor and once he died everyone forgot about him.
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Jan 14, 2014 07:40
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Dark_Tzitzimine posted:Jensen Ackles also showed up as regular for a season/season and half like an original character who was at first Clark's romantic rival, then a good friend and lastly, a totally crazy guy with a serious oedipus complex who got unceremoniously killed because Ackles had to left the show to do Supernatural. I've never watched Supernatural, but I remember Ackles being the only good thing about the second season of Dark Angel. That guy is just oozing charisma.
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Jan 14, 2014 07:43
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That's right... I forgot about the damned Tattoo subplot. And the Isis foundation which she founded secretly whilst pretending to run a small town cafe. Or Isis was a front for her super secret spy stuff. Something like that. The guy from Supernatural's character turn was hilarious. It was like, holy poo poo this guy is getting popular and he is booked for another show, welp, better make him completely insane and then have part of a house collapse on him! Dark_Tzitzimine posted:I totally forgot about that, Ackles character was also a bargain bin Luthor iirc. It always amused me than he was introduced like a old childhood friend to Luthor and once he died everyone forgot about him. Death was a curse that made people forget you lived. RIP to those dozen or so teenagers who were murdered in the first few seasons. Also, RIP Clark's other girlfriend who was kind of brutally murdered to advance the plot along. I think the worst offender was the one where some guy kidnapped multiple students and murdered them one by one in a replica of the school or something like that? I want to say this was a "Saw" like episode.
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Jan 14, 2014 07:47
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Part of me doesn't want to believe half the stuff I'm reading, but another part of me wants to know more awful poo poo about Smallville.
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Jan 14, 2014 07:47
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ArmyOfMidgets posted:Part of me doesn't want to believe half the stuff I'm reading, but another part of me wants to know more awful poo poo about Smallville. You should have some Stride Gum as it give you superpowers. Stride Gum the gum of superheroes.
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Jan 14, 2014 07:48
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A rave. A rave in a fully operational gum factory. WHY? Oh Jesus. There was some injected advertising for Toyota wasn't there? Chloe's car was mentioned by name multiple times. Jesus Christ.
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Jan 14, 2014 07:49
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ToastyPotato posted:A rave. A rave in a fully operational gum factory. WHY? You forgot that it was a Onerepublic concert and Pete Ross was a roadie. Funny enough that is the last time he is mentioned on the show really since he got in trouble for selling Oxycodone
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Jan 14, 2014 07:52
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Ah yes. Most of the music from the show is long gone from my head. I only remember a Jimmy Eat World song being used for a prison riot scene that Clark had gotten into. On the topic of music, the people behind Smallville inserted music into almost every single second of the show. There are literally almost no moments of silence in the entire series. There is a cheap score blaring at every moment, unless there was some band Warner Bros. was pushing.
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Jan 14, 2014 07:56
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Looks like I'm gonna spend the rest of the night watching clips on Youtube. Thanks for nothing dicks! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Yqhp14hyyQ bobkatt013 posted:You forgot that it was a Onerepublic concert and Pete Ross was a roadie. Funny enough that is the last time he is mentioned on the show really since he got in trouble for selling Oxycodone Not sure if this happened on the show or in real life....
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Jan 14, 2014 07:56
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JT Smiley posted:Looks like I'm gonna spend the rest of the night watching clips on Youtube. Thanks for nothing dicks! The character was a roadie in the STRIDE episode. I was talking about how in the final season they do not mention Pete Ross or show him in flashbacks (you hear him once) due to the actor getting arrested.
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Jan 14, 2014 07:58
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Jesus, somebody saaaaaaave meeeee from this show it sounds awful . "We will follow Bruce Wayne right up until the point where he gets interesting." Jesus, why? I mean, they proved they can do a superhero TV show. Arrow exists. We have the technology. Just make a Batman show if you want a Batman show so bad. Or make a GCPD show if you want a GCPD show. But not Smallville 2.0. Anything but Smallville 2.0  .
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Jan 14, 2014 08:04
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"We will follow Bruce Wayne during all that boring poo poo no one actually wants to see."
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Jan 14, 2014 08:17
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McSpanky posted:And Welling was adamant for no-tights all the loving way up to the very last scene of the damned series, which is why the very closest we ever got to him in the costume was the shirt-pull in said last scene. I did not see someone mention the best part of this: you briefly see "Superman" on-screen pushing away Apokolips (NO SERIOUSLY, DARKSEID) in the costume. It's all CGI because he wouldn't wear the outfit. The only time you see the costume is a goddamn Poser model.
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Jan 14, 2014 10:44
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ToastyPotato posted:Lex Luthor was a legitimately swell guy for half the series, but Clark Kent was basically a SuperDick to him the entire time and drove him into villainy. Lex's struggle between being the man his father wanted him to be and being his own, possibly good, person was the only thing that made me ever care about Smallville(not enough to really like it, but if it happened to be on, I'd watch it), and that was kinda thrown out the window by season 4 or so, where he went full evil. And yeah, Clark is a real rear end in a top hat to him because of his angsty "I can't tell anyone about all this alien poo poo" attitude, and Pa Kent's childish projection of hating Lionel Luthor onto his son. I guess Pa Kent being a raging rear end in a top hat and teaching paranoid values to his son is something Man of Steel and Smallville have in a common. quote:Jor El was a massive prick and even killed an innocent teen girl to teach Clark a lesson, and also made him think he still had a living relative by making the girl think she was Kara El. Then the real Kara El showed up anyway years later. Wow, that was really Jor-El? I only caught a little bit of that (the episode where Jor-El puts a thing inside Clark that literally MAKES HIM EVIL) and I kinda just assumed it was Zod or some other evil Kryptonian posing as Jor-El just to be a convenient source of lovely manufactured drama for a season or two. quote:A real scene from Smallville: Hahaha I saw this one too on a lazy saturday afternoon, I couldn't loving believe that line, or the awful special effects that followed it.
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Jan 14, 2014 12:14
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Syrg Sapphire posted:I did not see someone mention the best part of this: you briefly see "Superman" on-screen pushing away Apokolips (NO SERIOUSLY, DARKSEID) in the costume. Oh yeah, there were a couple of blurry red-blue superspeed smudges/super-distant dots that were supposed to be full-costume Superman, the CGI model as you said. They really went all-out there to pay off after a literal decade of teasing. Lurdiak posted:Wow, that was really Jor-El? I only caught a little bit of that (the episode where Jor-El puts a thing inside Clark that literally MAKES HIM EVIL) and I kinda just assumed it was Zod or some other evil Kryptonian posing as Jor-El just to be a convenient source of lovely manufactured drama for a season or two. The first season or so of Jor-El interactions, it seemed they really wanted to make him genuinely antagonistic if not outright evil. WHAT A TWEEST! Then they pulled a big 180 and were like "SIKE! I was just testing you to make sure you didn't become corrupt with power or something, I actually really love you... but I'll still be a huge dick from time to time for no reason  "
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Jan 14, 2014 13:05
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^ The only thing I saw of the show was the shity finale because a friend was emotional about it (she started watching as a kid, she couldnt see it for what it was) and beyond it beeing two dull hours of my life, it had a really lovely moment where Lex forgot the whole series and his abusive father or whatever and still ended up being evil so Clark could go "WELP, SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST EVIL"
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Jan 14, 2014 13:07
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ToastyPotato posted:Warner Bros general stance is that you cannot have a character be on both a TV show and a movie because it might confuse audiences, and Batman is going to be in the Superman movie. They know this is scientific fact because this has happened before with Green Lantern, actually. "What the gently caress Hollywood? Why did they make him white?!" Granted JLU was cancelled by then, but it was running on plenty of channels.
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Jan 14, 2014 15:10
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Aphrodite posted:Green Lantern, actually. Of course, we couldn't have the movie star a black leading man to prevent that because achillesforever6 posted:Can someone explain to me the reasoning for this as someone who did not watch Smallville? No-one seems to have directly answered this, so I will. Smallville was sold as the extended origin story, so the producers said very early on that you wouldn't see Clark in the suit, nor would he fly... actually, typing that makes it sound a lot like that Jon Peters story Kevin Smith tells... Now, if the show had a planned expiration date and end point, that would be fine. a couple of seasons of Clark finding himself, growing into the powers and responsibility and maturing, ending with him getting the cape and becoming Superman. The problems occurred when it became increasingly clear there was no definite ending being led to, so you have poo poo like Supergirl, Braniac, Bizarro and so forth being introduced and Clark still can't fly... except when he's under mind control or red kryptonite influence or something. Any rational person would've seen the fact that you're trying to put other superheroes in the show as the sign that no costume or flying has outlived it's usefulness, but as I said, the producers were unwilling, and Welling was also against it, so you end up with the clusterfuck that's been described. A show where Lois finds out about Clark's powers BEFORE he even has the costume. A show where Ultraman appears before Superman. I'm not saying it's the only reason the show blew. But it's a massive indicator to the mindset that caused the rest of the awfulness. JT Smiley posted:I've never watched Supernatural, but I remember Ackles being the only good thing about the second season of Dark Angel. That guy is just oozing charisma. Not in Smallville he wasn't. He was possibly the single dullest character on the show. And I'm including the lead. I think Kristen Kreuk was sucking all the screen presence out of him.
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Jan 14, 2014 16:08
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Gaz-L posted:Of course, we couldn't have the movie star a black leading man to prevent that because Because JLU John Stewart is duller than the Flash was in the season he didn't even speak.
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Jan 14, 2014 16:19
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Syrg Sapphire posted:I did not see someone mention the best part of this: you briefly see "Superman" on-screen pushing away Apokolips (NO SERIOUSLY, DARKSEID) in the costume. Jesus, is Tom Welling allergic to Superman costumes?
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Jan 14, 2014 17:03
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Aphrodite posted:Because JLU John Stewart is duller than the Flash was in the season he didn't even speak. JLU was a good cartoon but I don't know if I'll ever forgive it for convincing Geoff Johns that Stoic Marine John was cooler than Early 90s Mosaic-era John
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Jan 14, 2014 17:37
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TwoPair posted:Jesus, is Tom Welling allergic to Superman costumes? He 'didn't want to be thought of as Superman for the rest of his career'. Because playing Clark Kent for 10 years is totally different.
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Jan 14, 2014 18:14
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TwoPair posted:Jesus, is Tom Welling allergic to Superman costumes? He probably viewed it as a potential jynx on his career.
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Jan 14, 2014 18:14
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A cheerleader teen drama? Sign me u- Wait, Superman is producing this? Forget it.
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Jan 14, 2014 18:16
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McSpanky posted:Oh poo poo, Brimstone was great. If Constantine can have Peter Stormare, John Glover, and Ray Wise in a Satan-off over John's soul they can Keanufy him all they want. Fixed. The other Satans are mostly better but Ray was just so gleefully evil.
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Jan 14, 2014 18:21
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Lurdiak posted:Brimstone was the exact perfect amount of corny trashy TV wrapped in a Ray Wise 
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Jan 14, 2014 18:37
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glaze, I can't believe it never got renewed. And yeah, John Glover was the best Satan that ever Satan'd.
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ToastyPotato posted:He probably viewed it as a potential jynx on his career. Tom Welling has a career?
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Jan 14, 2014 20:41
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I am a bit late to this but I just want to remind everyone that the last time we had a show where Batman only appeared (sort of) once and then the main characters were left to their own devices we got Birds of Prey. Also, it doesn't sound like Warner is making these television decisions but rather Fox is. I am guessing Warner sold off their licensing rights for TV or whatever so Fox can do pretty much what they want to do. It will have nothing to do with the movie. That being said, not getting a Gotham Central TV show makes me sad.
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Jan 14, 2014 21:11
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I want Powers and Gotham Central  You would think these police procedural would be the easiest ones to make.
bobkatt013 fucked around with this message at 21:16 on Jan 14, 2014 |
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Jan 14, 2014 21:13
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Yeah but then S1e7 will have television reporter Vic Sage or something and you'll all mark the F out.
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Jan 14, 2014 21:15
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Vic Sage, Visage. Why did I never notice that before?
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Jan 14, 2014 21:18
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greatn posted:Yeah but then S1e7 will have television reporter Vic Sage or something and you'll all mark the F out. He won't do anything important, behave like the Question in any meangingful way, or be played by a particularly good actor, but by golly, some nerd will be posting in this very thread saying that it makes up for the early seasons with the "boring Jim Gordon stuff".
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Jan 14, 2014 21:55
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Gaz-L posted:He 'didn't want to be thought of as Superman for the rest of his career'. Because playing Clark Kent for 10 years is totally different. Yea, this absolutely pissed me off about the finale. Really Welling? You couldn't give us just 1 shot with the costume? Not this CGI mess? Or the shirt rip? Just one flipping shot with the costume on, at least.
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Jan 14, 2014 22:19
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I liked how Darksied was actually defeated Clark flew through him and poof You forgot to mention that Aquaman showed up for a few minutes out of the whole series. I remember him blowing up an oil rig, because that will totally stop the rape of the oceans and not spill billions of gallons of oil. They did also have the 90s reboot verison of Starman, straight down to the piercings and grunge attire. And I honestly liked Daniel Jackson as Hawkman.
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Jan 14, 2014 23:27
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