Piece of shit Crew #2

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Milkfred E. Moore: 'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'

Brown Blitzkrieg posted:

Look I understand this is Star Wars chat now, and that's something about which I have opinions, so I just can't stand back and not say something about it.

All the Star Wars films are loving huge piles of poo poo, except for A New Hope. This https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X66jntR0MVE exemplifies why Star Wars "IV" is the only movie in the series with any worth. It knows it is poo poo, and the actors ham it the gently caress up because of that reason. This self-awareness is fun, almost indirectly breaking the fourth-wall, and lets us all know that we're going to have fun watching this movie. There's a simplicity and honesty to the movie, and it (like Troma films) makes us actively engage our suspension of disbelief. From the incredibly corny lines, to the stormtroopers in the Death Star I wearing boots from Best & Less, there was no way anyone was going to engage in this movie as though it were a good film.

But then something awful happened, and people loved it way too much, putting all of their fanboyish energy frenetically into declaring how much they loved the film, going to see it over and over again. And so, with dollar signs in his eyes, George "I love money but hate writing good films" Lucas wrote an earnest sequel. An earnest sequel about the boy who wanted to go to Toshi station to pick up some power converters. About a boy who might be a little bit too short to be a stormtrooper. Unbelievable. And so we end up with the travesty that is "The Empire Strikes Back", where Leia, to Han Solo, says (this time unhammily, with a straight and serious face) "You scruffy looking nerf-herder". Scruffy looking nerf herder. While Han's response may be the epitome of faux-cool, the line in and of itself is symptomatic of the terrible dialogue in Lucas' films. There is no verisimilitude, nothing of human nature is revealed to us, and no deeper insight into anything is delivered to the audience. Characters are one-dimensional and uncomplex. Good and evil both exist as abstract forces, represented oh-so-creatively by light and dark, and no character or event represents a shade of grey in between.

I needn't even go into the almost universally reviled RotJ, and greater minds than mine have dedicated time and energy to deconstructing the near-total absence of minorities and women in the films.

There I said it, despite what Kevin Smith taught a legion of young, "hip" adults to quote, ESB is complete rubbish and RotJ is even less worthwhile than most kids films.

Adults who love Star Wars are the saddest beings of all, since they are continuing to invest their love into something designed for children, something which they should have shed their love for around the same time they stopped playing with Legos and became self-aware.

shut up brown blitzkrieg

quote:

There was a ridiculous thread in CineD that went out of its way to critique the Transformers movies and 90% of it was total poo poo, but it did convince me that Movie Optimus Prime is actually a giant oval office and not very heroic at all.

shots fired

transformers will, like starship troopers did, soon enough have people being like GOSH HOW DID PEOPLE NOT SEE THE OBVIOUS SATIRE WHEN IT CAME OUT INITIALLY

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:05

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# ? May 15, 2024 06:18

Milkfred E. Moore: 'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'

milky moor shot first

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:05

rudatron: by Fluffdaddy

Isn't there like a dvd commentary for starship troopers where the director is like 'yeah this is satire morons'?

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:12

Milkfred E. Moore: 'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'

rudatron posted:

Isn't there like a dvd commentary for starship troopers where the director is like 'yeah this is satire morons'?

pretty much, and it is incredibly obvious - there's orwellian big brother esque posters in a few shots, the MI infantry insignia look almost like little flying bugs, the bland obedience to a telepathic intelligence on both sides, the fact that johnny rico is an idiot who pines over a girl who doesn't love him and becomes a military caricature by the end of the film, etc. etc. the thing is, none of it is emphasised or really even directly indicated. it's played completely straight.

but look back at when it was released and it was basically decried as a stupid action film not worth anything. the 'guys it is an obvious satire' thing has only really come about in the past seven years or so.

transformers is the same sort of thing but it makes it much more obvious that the autobots are just as bad, if not worse, than the decepticons

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:19

Seagull: give me a chip

I watched a lovely movie but I did it ~*ironically*~ so I'm not dumb.

BRB going to go see The Hobbit.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:27

Lizard Combatant: I have some notes.

Milky Moor posted:

pretty much, and it is incredibly obvious - there's orwellian big brother esque posters in a few shots, the MI infantry insignia look almost like little flying bugs, the bland obedience to a telepathic intelligence on both sides, the fact that johnny rico is an idiot who pines over a girl who doesn't love him and becomes a military caricature by the end of the film, etc. etc. the thing is, none of it is emphasised or really even directly indicated. it's played completely straight.

but look back at when it was released and it was basically decried as a stupid action film not worth anything. the 'guys it is an obvious satire' thing has only really come about in the past seven years or so.

transformers is the same sort of thing but it makes it much more obvious that the autobots are just as bad, if not worse, than the decepticons

Seriously? Starship Troopers is so hammy you'd have to be brain dead to think it was serious. Even my dad (who hates American action schlock) "got" it when it came out.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:28

rudatron: by Fluffdaddy

I don't think Michael Bay could make a satirical film (other than every one of his films being an unintentional satire of himself).

rudatron fucked around with this message at 01:41 on Jan 15, 2014

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:29

Gough Suppressant

Game of thrones is actually a feminist satire of power structures and not the work of an incest/rape/pedophilia/lemoncake fetishist

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:30

Gough Suppressant

Also its sheer coincidence that the person that comes to free all the coloured slaves from their coloured masters is the whitest person ever

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:34

Seagull: give me a chip

What's the deal with Game of Thrones anyway. People have decried it as utter trash in the same breath they recommend it to me.

I'm not taking the plunge because of aforementioned pedophilic incestual rape.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:35

Les Affaires

I'm not taking the plunge because unidirectional media formats are an outdated mode of consumption.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:37

rudatron: by Fluffdaddy

Game of Thrones is really good. It has the incest and so on but that's never 'contextualized' incorrectly. It's worth it bro.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:38

Gough Suppressant

Captain Pissweak posted:

What's the deal with Game of Thrones anyway. People have decried it as utter trash in the same breath they recommend it to me.

I'm not taking the plunge because of aforementioned pedophilic incestual rape.

It is honestly entertaining, and the show cleans the book up quite a lot but it is really really loving regressive. People probably defend it on the basis of "well you can't have anything approaching progressive views of gender or race in a medieval themed world because it would break immersion" and then dragons come in and burn all the zombies and giants.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:39

Mad Katter: STOP THE BATS

Milky Moor posted:

pretty much, and it is incredibly obvious - there's orwellian big brother esque posters in a few shots, the MI infantry insignia look almost like little flying bugs, the bland obedience to a telepathic intelligence on both sides, the fact that johnny rico is an idiot who pines over a girl who doesn't love him and becomes a military caricature by the end of the film, etc. etc. the thing is, none of it is emphasised or really even directly indicated. it's played completely straight.

but look back at when it was released and it was basically decried as a stupid action film not worth anything. the 'guys it is an obvious satire' thing has only really come about in the past seven years or so.

transformers is the same sort of thing but it makes it much more obvious that the autobots are just as bad, if not worse, than the decepticons

Please post more about Transformers.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:40

Gough Suppressant

Unicron is actually just a metaphor for the planet eating psychopathic robot inside all of us.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:42

Endman: That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even anime may die

Lizard Combatant posted:

Seriously? Starship Troopers is so hammy you'd have to be brain dead to think it was serious. Even my dad (who hates American action schlock) "got" it when it came out.

Yeah, I don't know anybody who thought Starship Troopers was serious. I love the film, honestly. It'll always hold a special place in my heart. I haven't seen the sequels though. Are they any good?

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:47

hooman: This guy seems legit.

^^ no.

Gough Suppressant posted:

Unicron is actually just a metaphor for the planet eating psychopathic robot inside all of us.

You're the posting megatron to my posting starscream.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:47

Those On My Left

Gough Suppressant posted:

It is honestly entertaining, and the show cleans the book up quite a lot but it is really really loving regressive. People probably defend it on the basis of "well you can't have anything approaching progressive views of gender or race in a medieval themed world because it would break immersion" and then dragons come in and burn all the zombies and giants.

cleaned it up and then salted it with boobs, you mean.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:52

Beaucoup Haram

Those On My Left posted:

cleaned it up and then salted it with boobs, you mean.

There's plenty of dicks too, you know, just to even it out.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:57

Milkfred E. Moore: 'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'

Endman posted:

Yeah, I don't know anybody who thought Starship Troopers was serious. I love the film, honestly. It'll always hold a special place in my heart. I haven't seen the sequels though. Are they any good?

2 is horrible
the 3rd is is not great because it's so much more obviously satire (the musical number is fantastic, though)

starship troopers reviews:

quote:

It's exactly like "Star Wars" -- if you subtract a good story, sympathetic characters, intelligence, wit and moral purpose.

quote:

An empty videogame of a movie about interplanetary pest control.

quote:

In this bizarrely discordant mixture of ultraviolent action footage, bad acting, crisp special effects and futuristic camp, the remnants of Heinlein's rhetoric of military pride stick out like a grimy Marine uniform at a high-toned Hollywood party.

quote:

A collection of shots and characters designed to circle the globe rather than to say anything much about either the filmmakers or the audience, a triumph of multinational capital at work rather than of people or ideas.

quote:

Maybe the filmmakers are so lost in their slambang visual effects that they don't give a hoot about the movie's scariest implications. [10 Nov 1997, p.102]

and on and on it goes

quote:

Please post more about Transformers.

just read my posts in this thread: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3571842

and the one before it: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3507949

# ? Jan 15, 2014 01:58

Endman: That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even anime may die

Wait. People post outside of AusPol? :psyduck:

Also Milky you make me sad because now I know there are people who take Starship Troopers seriously and my hope in humanity is now spiraling down the grid.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:00

Kegslayer

Milky Moor posted:

pretty much, and it is incredibly obvious - there's orwellian big brother esque posters in a few shots, the MI infantry insignia look almost like little flying bugs, the bland obedience to a telepathic intelligence on both sides, the fact that johnny rico is an idiot who pines over a girl who doesn't love him and becomes a military caricature by the end of the film, etc. etc. the thing is, none of it is emphasised or really even directly indicated. it's played completely straight.

but look back at when it was released and it was basically decried as a stupid action film not worth anything. the 'guys it is an obvious satire' thing has only really come about in the past seven years or so.

transformers is the same sort of thing but it makes it much more obvious that the autobots are just as bad, if not worse, than the decepticons

I think it was pretty obvious the moment the military recruiter talks about how service 'made a man out of him' and then you see he has no legs. I could never understand how most people didn't realise it was a satire on militarism and fascism when the Intelligence officers were wearing loving SS uniforms.

Besides, how the gently caress did the bugs even launch an asteroid from half a galaxy away?

edit:

Les Affaires posted:

They cut the scene that shows the bugs eating a bad meal and laying a gigantic turd that hardens so they can launch it.

I bet they did it in a grid ala battleship :getin:

Kegslayer fucked around with this message at 02:12 on Jan 15, 2014

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:08

Les Affaires

Kegslayer posted:

I think it was pretty obvious the moment the military recruiter talks about how service 'made a man out of him' and then you see he has no legs. I could never understand how most people didn't realise it was a satire on militarism and fascism when the Intelligence officers were wearing loving SS uniforms.

Besides, how the gently caress did the bugs even launch an asteroid from half a galaxy away?

They cut the scene that shows the bugs eating a bad meal and laying a gigantic turd that hardens so they can launch it.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:09

BCR

What's happenng heat lovers on this beautiful Australian day?

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:11

Milkfred E. Moore: 'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'

[quote]

Kegslayer posted:

I think it was pretty obvious the moment the military recruiter talks about how service 'made a man out of him' and then you see he has no legs. I could never understand how most people didn't realise it was a satire on militarism and fascism when the Intelligence officers were wearing loving SS uniforms.

Besides, how the gently caress did the bugs even launch an asteroid from half a galaxy away?

yeah, but those are the really obvious points.

Endman posted:

Wait. People post outside of AusPol?

Also Milky you make me sad because now I know there are people who take Starship Troopers seriously and my hope in humanity is now spiraling down the grid.

important transformers movie note: michael bay's two dogs get listed in the credits before the voice actors do lma

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:12

Tambaloneus: I miss my cat someone buy me a kitten.

BCR posted:

What's happenng heat lovers on this beautiful Australian day?

Feeling pretty smug down in here ole Tassie given it's a sane 25c or thereabout at the moment.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:13

Les Affaires

Milky Moor posted:

yeah, but those are the really obvious points.

important transformers movie note: michael bay's two dogs get listed in the credits before the voice actors do lma

As usual I quite like Roger Ebert's take on it. If all the other reviews at the time were negatively framed, at least Ebert chose to reflect on what was actually being portrayed on the screen:

http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/starship-troopers-1997

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:14

hambeet

BCR posted:

What's happenng heat lovers on this beautiful Australian day?

41 again here in melb today, finally some good weather.

Going to go to KFC for a sweet chilly zinger twister.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:22

hambeet

Or I could walk to doors down to the Ethiopian restaurant.

~decisions~

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:22

algebra testes

Captain Pissweak posted:

What's the deal with Game of Thrones anyway. People have decried it as utter trash in the same breath they recommend it to me.

I'm not taking the plunge because of aforementioned pedophilic incestual rape.

The deal is that if you have read your LOTRs, and your LOTRs derivatives (Your Raymond E. Feist Riftwar/Serpentwars etc) and then you read A Game of Thrones and holy gently caress it's like the most amazing book that plays with all the architypes and plot conventions of like 50 years worth of Fantasy Novels. It's like it's 91 and every other fantasy book is like MC Hammer and A Game of Thrones is like Nevermind.

And then the second book starts, and you realize he isn't writing the series you think he's writing and then you start coming up against some weird writing choices where you could edit huge chunks out of the books and not miss anything and the books get longer and slower and longer and slower...

edit: There are boobs, but less "get on yo knees, suck it, let me fill your mouth up with cum while I tell you how much of a whore you are" (Clash of Kings)

algebra testes fucked around with this message at 02:27 on Jan 15, 2014

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:23

Those On My Left

Cuahtemoc posted:

There's plenty of dicks too, you know, just to even it out.

that's utter bullshit and you know it. if I weren't at work I would search for a dick count and a boob count to confirm

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:23

hambeet

Those On My Left posted:

that's utter bullshit and you know it. if I weren't at work I would search for a dick count and a boob count to confirm

Live life on the edge TOML. Come on.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:25

Tambaloneus: I miss my cat someone buy me a kitten.

I heard Hodor's was a prosthetic, does it still count?

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:27

Kegslayer

hambeet posted:

Or I could walk to doors down to the Ethiopian restaurant.

~decisions~

How can you do Ethiopian for lunch by yourself? There's also so much food and you look like a fatty sitting in the middle of a big plate of injera.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:27

Those On My Left

LordPants posted:

(Clash of Kings)

lol are you serious is that an actual scene in the book

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:27

Vladimir Poutine

hambeet posted:

Or I could walk to doors down to the Ethiopian restaurant.

~decisions~

Ethiopian food owns as does that injera bread they use as a cutlery substitute. Luckily I'm a vegetarian so I have an excuse not to eat the weird raw beef dishes they have at the Ethiopian restaurant near me which my friends struggled with.

Then again, Arnold Schwarzenegger used to put raw beef in his protein shakes and he doesn't seem like a man with brain parasites.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:30

Seagull: give me a chip

LordPants posted:

The deal is that if you have read your LOTRs, and your LOTRs derivatives (Your Raymond E. Feist Riftwar/Serpentwars etc) and then you read A Game of Thrones and holy gently caress it's like the most amazing book that plays with all the architypes and plot conventions of like 50 years worth of Fantasy Novels. It's like it's 91 and every other fantasy book is like MC Hammer and A Game of Thrones is like Nevermind.

And then the second book starts, and you realize he isn't writing the series you think he's writing and then you start coming up against some weird writing choices where you could edit huge chunks out of the books and not miss anything and the books get longer and slower and longer and slower...

edit: There are boobs, but less "get on yo knees, suck it, let me fill your mouth up with cum while I tell you how much of a whore you are" (Clash of Kings)

So the first book is fantastic and then after that it falls apart steadily?

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:31

algebra testes

Those On My Left posted:

lol are you serious is that an actual scene in the book

Sort of

quote:

�I fear those days are gone.� Theon�s finger circled one heavy teat, spiraling in toward the fat brown nipple. �No longer may we ride the wind with fire and sword, taking what we want. Now we scratch in the ground and toss lines in the sea like other men, and count ourselves lucky if we have salt cod and porridge enough to get us through a winter.� He took her nipple in his mouth, and bit it until she gasped.

�You can put it in me again, if it please you,� she whispered in his ear as he sucked. When he raised his head from her breast, the skin was dark red where his mouth had marked her. �It would please me to teach you something new. Unlace me and pleasure me with your mouth.�

�With my mouth?�

His thumb brushed lightly over her full lips. �It�s what those lips were made for, sweetling. If you were my salt wife, you�d do as I command.�

She was timid at first, but learned quickly for such a stupid girl, which pleased him. Her mouth was as wet and sweet as her oval office, and this way he did not have to listen to her mindless prattle. Once I would have kept her as a salt wife in truth, he thought to himself as he slid his fingers through her tangled hair.

It had been to bring back the Old Way more than for the empty vanity of a crown that Lord Balon had staged his great rebel ion. Robert Baratheon had written a bloody end to that hope, with the help of his friend Eddard Stark, but both men were dead now. Mere boys ruled in their stead, and the realm that Aegon the Conqueror had forged was smashed and sundered. This is the season, Theon thought as the captain�s daughter slid her lips up and down the length of him, the season, the year, the day, and I am the man. He smiled crookedly, wondering what his father would say when Theon told him that he, the last-born, babe and hostage, he had succeeded where Lord Balon himself had failed.

His climax came on him sudden as a storm, and he filled the girl�s mouth with his seed. Startled, she tried to pull away, but Theon held her tight by the hair. Afterward, she crawled up beside him. �Did I please milord? �

�Wel enough,� he told her.

�It tasted salty,� she murmured.

�Like the sea?�

She nodded. �I have always loved the sea, milord.�

�As I have,�

�Take me with you, milord,� the captain�s daughter begged. �I don�t need to go to your castle. I can stay in some town, and be your salt wife.� She reached out to stroke his cheek. Theon Greyjoy pushed her hand aside and climbed off the bunk. �My place is Pyke, and yours is on this ship.�

�I can�t stay here now.�

He laced up his breeches. �Why not?�

�My father,� she told him. �Once you�re gone, he�ll punish me, milord. He�ll call me names and hit me.�

Theon swept his cloak off its peg and over his shoulders. �Fathers are like that,� he admitted as he pinned the folds with a silver clasp. �Tel him he should be pleased. As many times as I�ve hosed you, you�re likely with child. It�s not every man who has the honor of raising a king�s bastard.� She looked at him stupidly, so he left her there.

Captain Pissweak posted:

So the first book is fantastic and then after that it falls apart steadily?

Finished it in a day, of the derivitive works of the Fantasy Genre it's easily the best I have read. He's also really great at taking concepts from Japanese Feudalism, and events from Scotland etc and turning into a fantsy gumbo. But yeah, after that it just depends when you tap out.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:33

Tambaloneus: I miss my cat someone buy me a kitten.

Somehow I knew that was going to be Theon. That's the thing about this series - it takes characters and they do things that make you utterly hate them but then he crushes them so mercilessly and horribly that either they change as people or you start to feel kind of sorry for them, then maybe even like them.

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:35

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# ? May 15, 2024 06:18

Those On My Left

LordPants posted:

Sort of

"came on him sudden as a storm"

*shakes head*

is this seriously the poo poo that people in my office have been going so crazy about

# ? Jan 15, 2014 02:37

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Piece of shit Crew #2

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