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Loving Africa Chaps
Dec 3, 2007


We had not left it yet, but when I would wake in the night, I would lie, listening, homesick for it already.

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straight up brolic
Jan 31, 2007

After all, I was nice in ball,
Came to practice weed scented
Report card like the speed limit

:homebrew::homebrew::homebrew:

tetsman posted:


Now I understand why US fans like to compare jozy to other players "like him"
wow christian benteke is fully sick. jozy sucks

R. Mute
Jul 27, 2011

mynameisjohn posted:

wow christian benteke is fully sick. jozy sucks
Let's do a side-by-side comparison:



straight up brolic
Jan 31, 2007

After all, I was nice in ball,
Came to practice weed scented
Report card like the speed limit

:homebrew::homebrew::homebrew:

look at both paulao and jozy go flying like kites in the wind

Hegay
Jun 29, 2012

I loving hate Jozy Altidore, he's a blight on the sport. A fraud.

Azerban
Oct 28, 2003



Jozy Altidore isn't the worst ever.

serious gaylord
Sep 16, 2007

what.

Azerban posted:

Jozy Altidore isn't the worst ever.

Ali Dia would have more goals than him with that number of appearances.

TelekineticBear!
Feb 19, 2009

stickyfngrdboy posted:

I saw Thomas Brolin play for Leeds multiple times and Jozy makes him look like Zlatan.

I seem to remember him having one really good game, might even have been against man united


hes also not as fat as jozy

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005


Now do one for Sunderland.

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

R. Mute posted:

Let's do a side-by-side comparison:





These look the same to me, just two athletic players who are good at holding the ball up.

Bogan Krkic
Oct 31, 2010

Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

serious gaylord posted:

Ali Dia would have more goals than him with that number of appearances.

I've literally been saying this for ages and I believe it to be true with all of my soul

Ewar Woowar
Feb 25, 2007

nnelli posted:

Those original striker stats also were weighted based on the league scores from IFFHS. All stat categories were also weighed the same. Completely agree that goals are significantly more important than the other statistical categories. Just haven't had time to do the research to weigh each stat.

Additionally, when the league score is removed, Jozy doesn't exactly come out looking pretty...

http://nnelli.wordpress.com/2014/06/01/more-positional-comparisons/
(at bottom)

Did this person search for their own retarded football stats, join this forum, then make more retarded football stats?

Bogan Krkic
Oct 31, 2010

Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

Nneli, given that you seem to have spent a long time researching Jozy's stats, do you think he's overrated in Fifa or football manager, and if so what would be a better rating for him

Thirteenth Step
Mar 3, 2004

2 goals

60 games

Striker

9million pounds

4.5million pound per goal (aka a MPPG rating of 4.5) - there's a nice stat for the americans imo

euroboy
Mar 24, 2004

Ewar Woowar posted:

Did this person search for their own retarded football stats, join this forum, then make more retarded football stats?



Juding by his twitter account he's a big Jozy fan and stats nut so it seems like he did just that.

The Mash
Feb 17, 2007

You have to say I can open my presents

Motion to nominate Ponce de Le0n for Best Use of Cheryl Cole .gif in Appropriate Context Award 2014

Thirteenth Step
Mar 3, 2004



Can I get a chart and/or graph to display the numbers from this pls

TheBigAristotle
Feb 8, 2007

I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

Grimey Drawer

Ewar Woowar posted:

Did this person search for their own retarded football stats, join this forum, then make more retarded football stats?

Could this thread get any better? The answer is apparently yes.

Olewithmilk
Jun 30, 2006

What?

Thirteenth Step posted:



Can I get a chart and/or graph to display the numbers from this pls

Bogan Krkic
Oct 31, 2010

Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.


Glorious Nippon, home of anime

chuggo is BACK
Jul 1, 2008




"Chuggo"

PWM POTM December 2014

lol

Hashtag Banterzone
Dec 8, 2005


Lifetime Winner of the willkill4food Honorary Bad Posting Award in PWM

Please include a section for goals created by Jozy's hold up play and passing.

The Mash
Feb 17, 2007

You have to say I can open my presents

Hashtag Banterzone posted:

Please include a section for goals created by Jozy's hold up play and passing.

It's right there, it's the green part of the circle

Skinty McEdger
Mar 9, 2008

I have NEVER received the respect I deserve as the leader and founder of The Masterflock, the internet's largest and oldest Christopher Masterpiece fan group in all of history, and I DEMAND that changes. From now on, you will respect Skinty McEdger!

I'm reading the Big Soccer "should Jozy start" thread, and there are people who honest to god believe that Jozy's hold up play will be the difference maker against Germany and Portugal. I think I follow a different sport to them.

advanced statsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC

advanced statsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC
I think my analysis shows Jozy is a pioneer and that he should not be judged by the number of goals he scored because S'Land are racist and he gets no service.

Thirteenth Step
Mar 3, 2004


woah woah woah lets not get carried away here

he's only scored one

I know the bigsoccer posters will claim the arsenal one counted but it didnt imo becuase the ref blew his whistle and said no thats not a goal you fat sack of poo poo

Skinty McEdger
Mar 9, 2008

I have NEVER received the respect I deserve as the leader and founder of The Masterflock, the internet's largest and oldest Christopher Masterpiece fan group in all of history, and I DEMAND that changes. From now on, you will respect Skinty McEdger!

Thirteenth Step posted:

I know the bigsoccer posters will claim the arsenal one counted but it didnt imo becuase the ref blew his whistle and said no thats not a goal you fat sack of poo poo

It was in their short list for goal of the season.

advanced statsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC
it's in all competitions! jozy has demonstrated clearly that not only can he score in the BPL, or the Barclay's Premiere League, but that he can also score in a cup match. The feats of this player are incredible.

Big Black Dick
Mar 20, 2009

Skinty McEdger posted:

It was in their short list for goal of the season.

I honestly can't tell if you're kidding.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
Jozy cost more than £6m

Thirteenth Step
Mar 3, 2004

Big Black Dick posted:

I honestly can't tell if you're kidding.

DrWrestling69
Feb 4, 2008

Tracyanne...

Big Black Dick posted:

I honestly can't tell if you're kidding.

blue footed boobie
Sep 14, 2012


UEFA SUPREMACY

Thirteenth Step posted:

I know the bigsoccer posters will claim the arsenal one counted but it didnt imo becuase the ref blew his whistle and said no thats not a goal you fat sack of poo poo

And Koscielny would have gotten to it if it weren't for the whistle, anyway.

Skinty McEdger
Mar 9, 2008

I have NEVER received the respect I deserve as the leader and founder of The Masterflock, the internet's largest and oldest Christopher Masterpiece fan group in all of history, and I DEMAND that changes. From now on, you will respect Skinty McEdger!

Big Black Dick posted:

I honestly can't tell if you're kidding.

Would it shock you further to know that Jozy tops their "yanks abroad goalscoring chart" for the 2013-2014 season.

Skinty McEdger
Mar 9, 2008

I have NEVER received the respect I deserve as the leader and founder of The Masterflock, the internet's largest and oldest Christopher Masterpiece fan group in all of history, and I DEMAND that changes. From now on, you will respect Skinty McEdger!

http://forums.bigsoccer.com/threads/2013-14-yanks-abroad-goalscorers-list-r.1994639/

code:
Player                 Club                  Country     Div Ttl LG CL CUP INT
Jozy Altidore          Sunderland            England      1  8   0  0  1   3
                       AZ Alkmaar            Netherlands  1      0  0  0   4
Chukwudi Chijindu      Thór Akureyri         Iceland      1  7   7  0  0   0
Christopher Tsonis     Tindastóll            Iceland      2  7   6  0  1   0
Terrance Boyd          Rapid Wein            Austria      1  6   5  1  0   0
Aron Johannsson        AZ Alkmaar            Netherlands  1  6   4  1  1   0
Giuseppe Rossi         Fiorentina            Italy        1  5   4  1  0   0
Jordan Seabrook        VPS                   Finland      1  5   5  0  0   0
Kevin Hoyos            Victoria              Honduras     1  4   3  1  0   0
Sacha Klještan         Anderlecht            Belgium      1  4   4  0  0   0
Matt Taylor            Preußen Münster       Germany      3  4   3  0  1   0
Alejandro Bedoya       Helsingborg           Sweden       1  3   2  0  0   1
Jordan Branco          Tindastóll            Iceland      2  3   3  0  0   0
Justin Moose           SJK                   Finland      2  3   3  0  0   0
Paul Arriola           Tijuana               Mexico       1  2   1  1  0   0
Joe Corona Crespin     Tijuana               Mexico       1  2   0  0  0   2
Clint Dempsey          Tottenham             England      1  2   0  0  0   2
Will John              AZAL PFK              Azerbaijan   1  2   2  0  0   0
Kei Kamara             Middlesbrough         England      2  2   2  0  0   0
Michael Nanchoff       Jönköpings Södra      Sweden       2  2   2  0  0   0
Babajide Ogunbiyi      Viborg                Denmark      1  2   2  0  0   0
Johnathan Okafor       MYPA                  Finland      1  2   2  0  0   0
Michael Orozco Fiscal  Puebla                Mexico       1  2   1  0  0   1
Edward Santeliz        Communicaciones       Guatemala    1  2   2  0  0   0
Brek Shea              Stoke City            England      1  2   0  0  0   2
Bobby Warshaw          Ängelholm             Sweden       2  2   2  0  0   0
Arturo Alvarez         Videoton              Hungary      1  1   1  0  0   0
Anthony Ampaipitakwon  Bangkok United        Thailand     1  1   1  0  0   0
John Anthony Brooks    Hertha Berlin         Germany      1  1   1  0  0   0
Geoff Cameron          Stoke City            England      1  1   1  0  0   0
Mikkel Diskerud        Rosenborg             Norway       1  1   0  0  0   1
Josh Gatt              Molde                 Norway       1  1   0  0  1   0
Bryan Gerzicich        Hapoel Tel Aviv       Israel       1  1   1  0  0   0
Hercules Gomez         Tijuana               Mexico       1  1   0  0  0   1
Sonny Guadarrama       Necaxa                Mexico       2  1   1  0  0   0
Stuart Holden          Bolton                England      2  1   0  0  0   1
Patrick Hopkins        Ljungskile            Sweden       2  1   0  0  1   0
Reda Johnson           Sheffield Wednesday   England      1  1   1  0  0   0
Aaron King             Haka                  Finland      2  1   1  0  0   0
Rodrigo Morin          Tindastóll            Iceland      2  1   1  0  0   0
Hirofumi Moriyasu      Gifu                  Japan        2  1   1  0  0   0
Matthew Ratajczak      Fjölnir               Iceland      2  1   1  0  0   0
Zurab Tsiskaridze      Jönköpings Södra      Sweden       2  1   0  0  1   0
Jacob Wilson           Vasas                 Hungary      2  1   1  0  0   0
Aaron Nichols          Ljungskile            Sweden       2  0   0  0  0   0
Jose Francisco Torres  Tigres UNAL           Mexico       1  0   0  0  0   0
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                    Totals 107  77  5  7  18
Amazing how much better Jozy's season is if you give friendlies, internationals, league and cup games equal weighting, and also move the start date back to a completely arbitrary one that pays no relation to the start or finish of any seasons.

Ponce de Le0n
Jul 6, 2008

Father jailed for beating 3 kids after they wouldn't say who farted in his car

Skinty McEdger posted:

and also move the start date back to a completely arbitrary one that pays no relation to the start or finish of any seasons.

lmao great stuff

The Finn
Aug 27, 2004

إنه أصلع في الأسفل، كما تعلم

Skinty McEdger posted:

http://forums.bigsoccer.com/threads/2013-14-yanks-abroad-goalscorers-list-r.1994639/

code:
Player                 Club                  Country     Div Ttl LG CL CUP INT
Jozy Altidore          Sunderland            England      1  8   0  0  1   3
                       AZ Alkmaar            Netherlands  1      0  0  0   4
Chukwudi Chijindu      Thór Akureyri         Iceland      1  7   7  0  0   0
Christopher Tsonis     Tindastóll            Iceland      2  7   6  0  1   0
Terrance Boyd          Rapid Wein            Austria      1  6   5  1  0   0
Aron Johannsson        AZ Alkmaar            Netherlands  1  6   4  1  1   0
Giuseppe Rossi         Fiorentina            Italy        1  5   4  1  0   0
Jordan Seabrook        VPS                   Finland      1  5   5  0  0   0
Kevin Hoyos            Victoria              Honduras     1  4   3  1  0   0
Sacha Klještan         Anderlecht            Belgium      1  4   4  0  0   0
Matt Taylor            Preußen Münster       Germany      3  4   3  0  1   0
Alejandro Bedoya       Helsingborg           Sweden       1  3   2  0  0   1
Jordan Branco          Tindastóll            Iceland      2  3   3  0  0   0
Justin Moose           SJK                   Finland      2  3   3  0  0   0
Paul Arriola           Tijuana               Mexico       1  2   1  1  0   0
Joe Corona Crespin     Tijuana               Mexico       1  2   0  0  0   2
Clint Dempsey          Tottenham             England      1  2   0  0  0   2
Will John              AZAL PFK              Azerbaijan   1  2   2  0  0   0
Kei Kamara             Middlesbrough         England      2  2   2  0  0   0
Michael Nanchoff       Jönköpings Södra      Sweden       2  2   2  0  0   0
Babajide Ogunbiyi      Viborg                Denmark      1  2   2  0  0   0
Johnathan Okafor       MYPA                  Finland      1  2   2  0  0   0
Michael Orozco Fiscal  Puebla                Mexico       1  2   1  0  0   1
Edward Santeliz        Communicaciones       Guatemala    1  2   2  0  0   0
Brek Shea              Stoke City            England      1  2   0  0  0   2
Bobby Warshaw          Ängelholm             Sweden       2  2   2  0  0   0
Arturo Alvarez         Videoton              Hungary      1  1   1  0  0   0
Anthony Ampaipitakwon  Bangkok United        Thailand     1  1   1  0  0   0
John Anthony Brooks    Hertha Berlin         Germany      1  1   1  0  0   0
Geoff Cameron          Stoke City            England      1  1   1  0  0   0
Mikkel Diskerud        Rosenborg             Norway       1  1   0  0  0   1
Josh Gatt              Molde                 Norway       1  1   0  0  1   0
Bryan Gerzicich        Hapoel Tel Aviv       Israel       1  1   1  0  0   0
Hercules Gomez         Tijuana               Mexico       1  1   0  0  0   1
Sonny Guadarrama       Necaxa                Mexico       2  1   1  0  0   0
Stuart Holden          Bolton                England      2  1   0  0  0   1
Patrick Hopkins        Ljungskile            Sweden       2  1   0  0  1   0
Reda Johnson           Sheffield Wednesday   England      1  1   1  0  0   0
Aaron King             Haka                  Finland      2  1   1  0  0   0
Rodrigo Morin          Tindastóll            Iceland      2  1   1  0  0   0
Hirofumi Moriyasu      Gifu                  Japan        2  1   1  0  0   0
Matthew Ratajczak      Fjölnir               Iceland      2  1   1  0  0   0
Zurab Tsiskaridze      Jönköpings Södra      Sweden       2  1   0  0  1   0
Jacob Wilson           Vasas                 Hungary      2  1   1  0  0   0
Aaron Nichols          Ljungskile            Sweden       2  0   0  0  0   0
Jose Francisco Torres  Tigres UNAL           Mexico       1  0   0  0  0   0
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                    Totals 107  77  5  7  18
Amazing how much better Jozy's season is if you give friendlies, internationals, league and cup games equal weighting, and also move the start date back to a completely arbitrary one that pays no relation to the start or finish of any seasons.

Oh my god. And they include Rossi too haha I will never stop laughing at how salty that makes them, loving lmao

Suqit
Apr 25, 2005

Stars Stripes Freedom Jozy
(Jozy not pictured here)

Baldo di Gregorio posted:

Oh my god. And they include Rossi too haha I will never stop laughing at how salty that makes them, loving lmao

I didn't even notice that lol

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Hegay
Jun 29, 2012

Skinty McEdger posted:

http://forums.bigsoccer.com/threads/2013-14-yanks-abroad-goalscorers-list-r.1994639/

code:
Player                 Club                  Country     Div Ttl LG CL CUP INT
Jozy Altidore          Sunderland            England      1  8   0  0  1   3
                       AZ Alkmaar            Netherlands  1      0  0  0   4
Chukwudi Chijindu      Thór Akureyri         Iceland      1  7   7  0  0   0
Christopher Tsonis     Tindastóll            Iceland      2  7   6  0  1   0
Terrance Boyd          Rapid Wein            Austria      1  6   5  1  0   0
Aron Johannsson        AZ Alkmaar            Netherlands  1  6   4  1  1   0
Giuseppe Rossi         Fiorentina            Italy        1  5   4  1  0   0
Jordan Seabrook        VPS                   Finland      1  5   5  0  0   0
Kevin Hoyos            Victoria              Honduras     1  4   3  1  0   0
Sacha Klještan         Anderlecht            Belgium      1  4   4  0  0   0
Matt Taylor            Preußen Münster       Germany      3  4   3  0  1   0
Alejandro Bedoya       Helsingborg           Sweden       1  3   2  0  0   1
Jordan Branco          Tindastóll            Iceland      2  3   3  0  0   0
Justin Moose           SJK                   Finland      2  3   3  0  0   0
Paul Arriola           Tijuana               Mexico       1  2   1  1  0   0
Joe Corona Crespin     Tijuana               Mexico       1  2   0  0  0   2
Clint Dempsey          Tottenham             England      1  2   0  0  0   2
Will John              AZAL PFK              Azerbaijan   1  2   2  0  0   0
Kei Kamara             Middlesbrough         England      2  2   2  0  0   0
Michael Nanchoff       Jönköpings Södra      Sweden       2  2   2  0  0   0
Babajide Ogunbiyi      Viborg                Denmark      1  2   2  0  0   0
Johnathan Okafor       MYPA                  Finland      1  2   2  0  0   0
Michael Orozco Fiscal  Puebla                Mexico       1  2   1  0  0   1
Edward Santeliz        Communicaciones       Guatemala    1  2   2  0  0   0
Brek Shea              Stoke City            England      1  2   0  0  0   2
Bobby Warshaw          Ängelholm             Sweden       2  2   2  0  0   0
Arturo Alvarez         Videoton              Hungary      1  1   1  0  0   0
Anthony Ampaipitakwon  Bangkok United        Thailand     1  1   1  0  0   0
John Anthony Brooks    Hertha Berlin         Germany      1  1   1  0  0   0
Geoff Cameron          Stoke City            England      1  1   1  0  0   0
Mikkel Diskerud        Rosenborg             Norway       1  1   0  0  0   1
Josh Gatt              Molde                 Norway       1  1   0  0  1   0
Bryan Gerzicich        Hapoel Tel Aviv       Israel       1  1   1  0  0   0
Hercules Gomez         Tijuana               Mexico       1  1   0  0  0   1
Sonny Guadarrama       Necaxa                Mexico       2  1   1  0  0   0
Stuart Holden          Bolton                England      2  1   0  0  0   1
Patrick Hopkins        Ljungskile            Sweden       2  1   0  0  1   0
Reda Johnson           Sheffield Wednesday   England      1  1   1  0  0   0
Aaron King             Haka                  Finland      2  1   1  0  0   0
Rodrigo Morin          Tindastóll            Iceland      2  1   1  0  0   0
Hirofumi Moriyasu      Gifu                  Japan        2  1   1  0  0   0
Matthew Ratajczak      Fjölnir               Iceland      2  1   1  0  0   0
Zurab Tsiskaridze      Jönköpings Södra      Sweden       2  1   0  0  1   0
Jacob Wilson           Vasas                 Hungary      2  1   1  0  0   0
Aaron Nichols          Ljungskile            Sweden       2  0   0  0  0   0
Jose Francisco Torres  Tigres UNAL           Mexico       1  0   0  0  0   0
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                    Totals 107  77  5  7  18
Amazing how much better Jozy's season is if you give friendlies, internationals, league and cup games equal weighting, and also move the start date back to a completely arbitrary one that pays no relation to the start or finish of any seasons.

Oh my god, also who the gently caress is Babajide Ogunbiyi lol. Why do they keep track of this aahhhhhhh loving STAT NERDS gently caress OFF

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