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POTATO IN MY ANUS
May 23, 2012

23 year old man.

just tried (unsuccessfully) to suck my own dick.

I think I need a break from the internet.

Intel&Sebastian posted:

Stun-gun is going to wreck Woodley right? Am I missing something here?

as much as I want to see Kim plow through Woodley I think it's going to be a close fight.

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LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Fartbong Bonersatan posted:

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/07/28/mean-girl


I guess the UFC paying for her apartment across from the Glendale Fight Club isn't a thing anymore


A few seconds of searching yields this - https://web.archive.org/web/20101126172331/http://www.rondarousey.net/blog/?page_id=4

New York Times article posted:

We want to see a great fighter tested and possibly hurt—at which point we reserve the right to start muttering that the great fighter might not have been so great after all.

See, that dude knows what's up.

CRISPYBABY
Dec 15, 2007

by Reene

Dangersim posted:

Who the gently caress is Chris Cariaso and why is he fighting for a title

Dude's had 10 fights in the UFC, but literally the only memory I have of him is him having a pretty fun fight (that he lost) against Michael MacDonald years ago.

Dangersim
Sep 4, 2011

:qq:He expended too much energy and got tired:qq:

I'M NOT SURPRISED MOTHERFUCKERS
Yeah like I recall watching one of his fights, but remember absolutely nothing about it

fatherdog
Feb 16, 2005

Dangersim posted:

Who the gently caress is Chris Cariaso and why is he fighting for a title

Dodson is injured, Lineker's missed weight in like 50% of his flyweight fights, and everyone else is either coming off a loss or just got killed by MM six months ago.

Count Roland
Oct 6, 2013

coconono posted:

All the Ronda interviews I've read/heard seems to indicate that she's sitting on all her money for retirement.

A fighter with money-sense? How strange.

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

fatherdog posted:

Dodson is injured, Lineker's missed weight in like 50% of his flyweight fights, and everyone else is either coming off a loss or just got killed by MM six months ago.

Dustin Ortiz will be fighting for the title early next year.

-Atom-
Sep 13, 2003

Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything

LobsterMobster posted:

Dustin Ortiz will be fighting for the title early next year.

I'd be totally on board with this match up. He was boned on the Moraga decision, and should be on a seven fight winning streak.

Agent Tough Juice
May 21, 2007

People! I'd like to say a couple words for you: If you have a dream in your life... go head! It's a possible! Go head! I can do that!

Count Roland posted:

A fighter with money-sense? How strange.

Again, she at least briefly believed it was possible the Newtown shootings were a hoax perpetrated by the government. She's probably burying her money in the backyard.

1st AD
Dec 3, 2004

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu: sometimes passing just isn't an option.
Her place in Venice probably costs $6k a month to rent so it's a real good idea to split it 4 ways.

Intel&Sebastian
Oct 20, 2002

colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!
Hahaha I hope Ronda really does make them split rent.

"Ladies, I need that 30 dollars for Comcast BEFORE I leave to film Expendables 3, not after. Thanks!"

Dangersim
Sep 4, 2011

:qq:He expended too much energy and got tired:qq:

I'M NOT SURPRISED MOTHERFUCKERS

fatherdog posted:

Dodson is injured, Lineker's missed weight in like 50% of his flyweight fights, and everyone else is either coming off a loss or just got killed by MM six months ago.

Flyweight division needs some work.

A 50S RAYGUN
Aug 22, 2011

Intel&Sebastian posted:

Hahaha I hope Ronda really does make them split rent.

"Ladies, I need that 30 dollars for Comcast BEFORE I leave to film Expendables 3, not after. Thanks!"

otoh, freely helping friends and family with money is what leaves a lot of professional athletes broke.

mewse
May 2, 2006

Living with your training partners seems like a good way to stay motivated

Bubba Smith
Sep 27, 2004

Is tonight the greatest moment in Dominick Cruz's life?

No.

The greatest moment in my life was realizing that I didn't need a belt to be happy.

Dangersim posted:

Flyweight division needs some work.

All the divisions need work except 155 & 170 since the rest only have 1 or 2 real challengers at any given moment and an injury could gently caress it all up. Other than that you're always looking at rematches, dudes who failed drug tests, guys coming off a loss, or injured dudes. So flyweight isn't really any worse off than the others, just Cariaso has no name recognition whatsoever so it makes the decision seem worse than it is.

Dangersim
Sep 4, 2011

:qq:He expended too much energy and got tired:qq:

I'M NOT SURPRISED MOTHERFUCKERS

Bubba Smith posted:

All the divisions need work except 155 & 170 since the rest only have 1 or 2 real challengers at any given moment and an injury could gently caress it all up. Other than that you're always looking at rematches, dudes who failed drug tests, guys coming off a loss, or injured dudes. So flyweight isn't really any worse off than the others, just Cariaso has no name recognition whatsoever so it makes the decision seem worse than it is.

Actually middleweight owns, and is the premier division.

Grifter
Jul 24, 2003

I do this technique called a suplex. You probably haven't heard of it, it's pretty obscure.

Ditch posted:

UFC posted Brown vs Erick Silva for those of you unfortunate souls who haven't seen it yet:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKLMPIeLrm4
God drat, the trips that Brown hits near the end of the first (especially the first one) can only be described as contemptuous. He easily tosses Silva to the ground and then immediately follows it up by not giving a gently caress.

Bubba Smith
Sep 27, 2004

Is tonight the greatest moment in Dominick Cruz's life?

No.

The greatest moment in my life was realizing that I didn't need a belt to be happy.

Dangersim posted:

Actually middleweight owns, and is the premier division.

But as of right now as top contenders you have Anderson and Machida that Weidman just beat, Vitor may not get licensed, Jacare and Mousasi are fighting each other so one of them will be coming off of a loss soon, and Luke Rockhold is out with an injury. So it's in the same spot that flyweight is in just nobody pays attention to flyweights.

Dangersim
Sep 4, 2011

:qq:He expended too much energy and got tired:qq:

I'M NOT SURPRISED MOTHERFUCKERS

Grifter posted:

God drat, the trips that Brown hits near the end of the first (especially the first one) can only be described as contemptuous. He easily tosses Silva to the ground and then immediately follows it up by not giving a gently caress.

Watching it live I think I actually screamed "GET DOWN BITCH" in my living room.

-Atom-
Sep 13, 2003

Contrarian Dick

Bad At Everything
Pretty Tony Pettis vs. Gilbear Melendez has been officially booked for UFC 181 on the December 6th taking place in Vegas maybe.

Agent Tough Juice
May 21, 2007

People! I'd like to say a couple words for you: If you have a dream in your life... go head! It's a possible! Go head! I can do that!

Bubba Smith posted:

But as of right now as top contenders you have Anderson and Machida that Weidman just beat, Vitor may not get licensed, Jacare and Mousasi are fighting each other so one of them will be coming off of a loss soon, and Luke Rockhold is out with an injury. So it's in the same spot that flyweight is in just nobody pays attention to flyweights.

Just give me infinite Machida rematches. The best division.

Dangersim
Sep 4, 2011

:qq:He expended too much energy and got tired:qq:

I'M NOT SURPRISED MOTHERFUCKERS

Bubba Smith posted:

But as of right now as top contenders you have Anderson and Machida that Weidman just beat, Vitor may not get licensed, Jacare and Mousasi are fighting each other so one of them will be coming off of a loss soon, and Luke Rockhold is out with an injury. So it's in the same spot that flyweight is in just nobody pays attention to flyweights.

The difference is all those fighters are really good.

Gregor Samsa
Sep 5, 2007
Nietzsche's Mustache

Grifter posted:

God drat, the trips that Brown hits near the end of the first (especially the first one) can only be described as contemptuous. He easily tosses Silva to the ground and then immediately follows it up by not giving a gently caress.

If you watch a decent amount of Muay Thai, this is how throws out of the clinch often play out, and that trip is very much one of those (except foot sweeps like that are technically not kosher in MT).

e: for your not-giving-a-gently caress pleasure: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqCPn4-eB5A

Gregor Samsa fucked around with this message at 22:25 on Jul 21, 2014

Bubba Smith
Sep 27, 2004

Is tonight the greatest moment in Dominick Cruz's life?

No.

The greatest moment in my life was realizing that I didn't need a belt to be happy.

Dangersim posted:

The difference is all those fighters are really good.

Flyweights have really good fighters too except Demetrious Johnson fights every few months so he's beaten all the top guys in little over a year. if he spaced out his fights more like Weidman then he would still have 1 or 2 top guys remaining, and it would give UFC more time to build dudes like Seery/Lineker/Makovsky/Formiga/Cariaso/etc. into dudes you might care about watching fight for the title.

Senjuro
Aug 19, 2006
The heavyweight division is in pretty bad shape too. It's a division where the shambling corpse of Frank Mir is still ranked at number 10 for crying out loud.

Intel&Sebastian
Oct 20, 2002

colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!
DJ needs to fight that often just so people remember there's a 125 champion and hopefully also remember that he's really good.

Bubba Smith
Sep 27, 2004

Is tonight the greatest moment in Dominick Cruz's life?

No.

The greatest moment in my life was realizing that I didn't need a belt to be happy.

Senjuro posted:

The heavyweight division is in pretty bad shape too. It's a division where the shambling corpse of Frank Mir is still ranked at number 10 for crying out loud.

Heavyweight is actually in the worst shape. Werdum is a great challenger but after that you have tons of dudes who are coming off of a loss and Overeem whose last 2 years have been hilarious and disappointing. Hunt/Nelson is the only good fight coming up and there's really no way to not make that a title eliminator unless Miocic gets another win under his belt that isn't from a middleweight.

Agent Tough Juice
May 21, 2007

People! I'd like to say a couple words for you: If you have a dream in your life... go head! It's a possible! Go head! I can do that!

Bubba Smith posted:

Heavyweight is actually in the worst shape. Werdum is a great challenger but after that you have tons of dudes who are coming off of a loss and Overeem whose last 2 years have been hilarious and disappointing. Hunt/Nelson is the only good fight coming up and there's really no way to not make that a title eliminator unless Miocic gets another win under his belt that isn't from a middleweight.

The only way to save heavyweight is to make it competitive.

We've got to get Velasquez and JDS to retire.

Detroit_Dogg
Feb 2, 2008
Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT
Jon Jones needs to get fat. Like really fat.

Lloyd Boner
Oct 11, 2009

Yes officer, my name is Victoria Sonnen...berg
Make a cruiser weight division for Cain and JDS so Hunto can have a belt

Detroit_Dogg
Feb 2, 2008
Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT
Jon "Bones Under Too Much Pressure" Jones

Bubba Smith
Sep 27, 2004

Is tonight the greatest moment in Dominick Cruz's life?

No.

The greatest moment in my life was realizing that I didn't need a belt to be happy.
Rumble Johnson should quit cutting weight altogether and fight at 265 cause I guarantee he would be fighting for a title before long. Andrei Arlovski is one of only five guys in the entire top 15 that are currently riding on a win streak. Rumble already has more recent wins at UFC's current heavyweight division than 80% of the division. lmao

Detroit_Dogg
Feb 2, 2008
Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT
Philippians 400:13

Agent Tough Juice
May 21, 2007

People! I'd like to say a couple words for you: If you have a dream in your life... go head! It's a possible! Go head! I can do that!

Bubba Smith posted:

Rumble Johnson should quit cutting weight altogether and fight at 265 cause I guarantee he would be fighting for a title before long. Andrei Arlovski is one of only five guys in the entire top 15 that are currently riding on a win streak. Rumble already has more recent wins at UFC's current heavyweight division than 80% of the division. lmao

I like this idea. Let's make it happen

LobsterMobster
Oct 29, 2009

"I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"
Dana White needs to pay Cole Konrad some of that Brock Lesnar money and get him out of retirement.

(No, I will never stop suggesting Konrad as the best possible contender)

Snowman_McK
Jan 31, 2010

Detroit_Dogg posted:

Jon Jones needs to get fat. Like really fat.

Jon Jones would do his reachy thing, then JDS would fly across the octagon like Balrog and pull his heart clean out of his body.

Intel&Sebastian
Oct 20, 2002

colonel...
i'm trying to sneak around
but i'm dummy thicc
and the clap of my ass cheeks
keeps alerting the guards!
Heavyweight is pretty cool as long as you don't give a gently caress who has the belt. Cain can tour Mexico building his name as a UFC branded luchadore for a year as far as I'm concerned and return periodically when someone new miraculously manages to take out two/three gatekeepers in a row without making GBS threads the bed somehow.

Edit: I'm such a raging nerd I'm not sure if that was a reference to claw balrog, boxer balrog or the balrog in LOTR.

CRISPYBABY
Dec 15, 2007

by Reene
Man, I remember being really excited about heavyweight about two or three years ago with Lesnar/Carwin/Reem/Cain/JDS. Then Carwin turned into a shambling old man, Lesnar retired, Reem did some embarrassing things, and JDS/Cain fought three times and got played out. Outside of the long shot rise of Hunt, Werdum's been the only guy who's looked kinda impressive in the meantime.

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



Lesnar didn't just retire. He had no choice. His career was cut short by refusing to eat his vegetables.

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Detroit_Dogg
Feb 2, 2008
Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT
It's really a shame that Shane Carwin was made out of balsa wood, and that Brock Lesnar doesn't believe in potatoes with his meat, and that the UFC started testing for the Ooze from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

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