UKMT August '14 - BoJo's Brilliant Buran Bazaar

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT August '14 - BoJo's Brilliant Buran Bazaar

Obliterati: Nov 13, 2012; Pain is inevitable.
Suffering is optional.
Thunderdome is forever.

HortonNash posted:

Christians can't legally marry though can they? They have to head over to Cyprus for that.

I've heard that, but you can still pass for Ashkenazi or Sephardi. Brown guys don't have that option and it becomes a problem when you run into an ultra-Orthodox mob.

# ? Aug 10, 2014 00:09

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 6, 2024 02:50

baka kaba: Jul 19, 2003; PLEASE ASK ME, THE SELF-PROFESSED NO #1 PAUL CATTERMOLE FAN IN THE SOMETHING AWFUL S-CLUB 7 MEGATHREAD, TO NAME A SINGLE SONG BY HIS EXCELLENT NU-METAL SIDE PROJECT, SKUA, AND IF I CAN'T PLEASE TELL ME TO
EAT SHIT

HortonNash posted:

Heart rate, blood pressure, breathing rate, skin conductivity (sweatiness) are the main ones measured, but they also put sensors under your bum to make sure you're not clenching your anus (a trick to deceive the examiner is to clench your anal sphincter hard).

It's all down to the interpretation of the traces by the examiner, and that's entirely subjective and two different examiners will often disagree.

It's a big ol' scam.

Someone did a good post on this stuff in LF
http://lfeffortposts.wordpress.com/2011/01/21/polygraph/

Also how was this not posted?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-mid-wales-28682102

quote:

Police raid Crown Inn pub in Lea in 'Holy Grail' relic hunt

Police raided a village pub searching for a stolen Holy Grail relic but only found a salad bowl.

A team of 12 West Mercia Police officers searched the Crown Inn in Lea, Herefordshire, for the Nanteos Cup, which was once housed in Aberystwyth.

The only item found vaguely resembling the relic was a bowl for serving salad to customers.

Police said they received intelligence that the cup had been seen in the pub so executed a search warrant on Sunday.

Landlady of the 15th Century pub, 58-year-old Di Franklin, said: "If somebody had stolen something as priceless as the Holy Grail I don't think it would be on show in my pub.

"I have been shown a picture of the missing cup - if it had been here we would have thrown it on the fire because it is not whole any more.

"The only thing here that looks like it is one of our salad bowls."

West Mercia Police officers said the raid was carried out after they "received intelligence" that the stolen cup had been seen in the pub.

A spokesman said: "We were told it was still there and so executed a search warrant to try and find it."

# ? Aug 10, 2014 00:48

kingturnip: Apr 18, 2008

One Pigeon posted:

Has anyone got any further info on this article?

Note how the article says the flag is "similar" to the one ISIS uses?
That's journalistic shorthand for "we know it's got nothing to do with ISIS, but it's not like anyone will sue us, so we'll just print it anyway".

It's pure anti-muslim propaganda; nothing less.

# ? Aug 10, 2014 01:57

Safety Biscuits: Oct 21, 2010

Jedit posted:

The average UK citizen may have no personal responsibility for what is happening in Gaza, but at the same time I don't recall hearing about leaders of the Jewish community here saying that Israel are going too far. This is literally "We're only supporting systematic mass murder, not committing it - why do they hate us?"

E: what I'm saying is that even if both sides are in the wrong, the Muslims at least have an understandable reason for being out of control.

I don't recall hearing about leaders of the Muslim community here saying that the protesters are going too far. This is literally "We're only supporting intimidation, not committing it - why do they hate us?"

E: what I'm saying is that even if both sides are in the wrong, Israel at least has an understandable reason for being out of control.

# ? Aug 10, 2014 03:13

EvilGenius: May 2, 2006; Death to the Black Eyed Peas

Praseodymi posted:

Cross posting from idiots on social media thread:

Holy poo poo, this guy is being accused of being a member of Isis and a paedophile in a single tweet? I'd sue the gently caress out of her.

# ? Aug 10, 2014 07:09

DesperateDan: Dec 10, 2005; Where's my cow?

Is that my cow?

No it isn't, but it still tramples my bloody lavender.

House Louse posted:

E: what I'm saying is that even if both sides are in the wrong, Israel at least has an understandable reason for being out of control.

Such as?

# ? Aug 10, 2014 08:34

LemonDrizzle: Mar 28, 2012; neoliberal shithead

Warsi's putting the boot into Cameron and the Lib Dems:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/p...cs-9659443.html

quote:

She said that in the previous weeks leading up to her departure, she felt increasingly isolated in Government, and revealed that even Danny Alexander, the Liberal Democrat Chief Secretary to the Treasury, had remained silent at a key meeting on the need for an arms embargo against Israel.

"I felt like a lone voice," she says. "The Lib Dems on this are being quite disingenuous. At the big meeting on this, where were the Lib Dems? Danny Alexander turned up and said nothing. It would have been helpful if I'd had two or three Lib Dem voices giving support to me. The fact is that they didn't.

...

Warsi's criticism of Cameron is basically one of hypocrisy. While this government has not been shy about criticising other regimes for what it sees as human-rights abuses, on Israel, it has been deafeningly silent.

As she puts it: "One of the arguments I've heard from people is: 'Why don't you criticise Assad?' Well, we did. 'Why don't you criticise Isis?' Well we did. 'Why don't you criticise Iran?' We did. 'Why don't you criticise Putin?' We did. 'Why don't you criticise Israel?' Well, we didn't. That's the difference. It is about an inconsistent approach to our foreign policy. It is an inconsistency about our application of our values.

...

"I don't care if they say they disagreed with me. I don't care if they can't stand me. That's fine. What I won't have them do, when you work 10 times as hard as anyone else to get to where you got to, is to get there and hear: 'She can't really do the job.' It sends out the wrong message out for other people who want to do this. Some of the bitchiest women I've ever met in my life are the men in politics."

Then she adds, in relation to the Guido Fawkes website, which has been particularly virulent about her departure: "I worry about being on the wrong side of history rather than being on the wrong side of some two-bit right-wing blog site."

...

"When [Cameron] went to Blackpool to make his speech to become leader, he first came to Dewsbury to a social action project I was running. We then went to Blackpool and I introduced the speech ... I am absolutely part of the Cameron era and compassionate Conservatism. I thought this is a guy who gets today's Britain. He's a new kind of Conservative. He was really clear that values were values that included all of Britain.

"[But] I think the party has shifted. The party leadership has shifted since then. I think over time it will be a regressive move because we have to appeal to all of Britain, not just because morally it's the right thing to do, but because it's an electoral reality.

"I was party chairman for two and a half years, and one of the biggest things for me was to recruit people with different backgrounds. We started an internship scheme and we started Conservative friends of India, Conservative friends of Pakistan. We brought the BME groups into the mainstream campaign. Some of that has been lost, which is a shame."

Then she adds: "The electoral reality is that we will not win outright Conservative majorities until we start attracting more of the ethnic vote. This issue is not linked to a particular ethnic vote. It is a broader issue about the party being open to a broader range of views and experiences."

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/baroness-warsi-turns-on-public-school-tories-9659495.html

quote:

"I am a brown, working-class woman from the North," she said. "People have been telling me I'm not good enough since the day I was born. I'm sure there will always be people who will always say: you're not good enough."

But in pointed remarks she added: "I don't hold the fact that someone went to public school against them. I don't hold the fact that they haven't had the breadth of experience that some of us who didn't go to public school have had. I don't hold against them that they haven't had to fight as hard to get the jobs that we have had to fight as hard to get. I hope that if I can be so understanding about their background, they can be understanding to those of us that haven't had those opportunities."

LemonDrizzle fucked around with this message at 08:46 on Aug 10, 2014

# ? Aug 10, 2014 08:43

Darth Walrus: Feb 13, 2012

In our regular 'wtf UKIP' news...

quote:

UKIP has defended one of its MEPs who allegedly advised prospective party candidates to learn from the speaking style of Adolf Hitler.

According to the Mail on Sunday, Bill Etheridge described the Nazi dictator as a "magnetic and forceful" performer who "achieved a great deal".

The West Midlands MEP spoke at a public speaking seminar at the Young Independence Conference in Birmingham.

UKIP said Mr Etheridge was discussing the style of great public speakers.

The newspaper says Mr Etheridge told the class: "Look back to the most magnetic and forceful public speaker possibly in history.

"When Hitler gave speeches, and many of the famous ones were at rallies, at the start he walks, back and forth, looked at people - there was a silence, he waited minutes just looking out at people, fixing them with his gaze.

"They were looking back and he would do it for a while. And then they were so desperate for him to start, when he started speaking they were hanging on his every word.

'I'm not saying direct copy - pick up little moments."
'Truly disgusting'

Labour MP Mike Gapes told the MoS: "I thought nothing could surprise me any more, but this just goes to show that Farage has completely failed to clean up his party.

"One of his MEPs training young candidates to speak like Hitler? Simply unbelievable."

A spokesman for UKIP said: "Bill Etheridge gave a seminar on public speaking and highlighted great speakers of the past, like Churchill, Blair, Martin Luther King and Hitler as people whose style, not content could be studied."

He also described the Mail on Sunday as "a Tory paper... terrified by the rise of UKIP and apparently will stoop to nothing to attack the party.

"We are disappointed, but unsurprised.

"During a period of respectful and pensive commemoration of those who gave their lives in war, the Tory Mail on Sunday's tasteless and desperate front page attack is truly disgusting."

# ? Aug 10, 2014 11:33

Jedit: Dec 10, 2011; Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

Darth Walrus posted:

In our regular 'wtf UKIP' news...

Well, to be fair Hitler was a really good public speaker. It's his content that was the problem.

(Unless you're a Kipper.)

# ? Aug 10, 2014 11:50

Pesky Splinter: Feb 16, 2011; A worried pug.

Satire is dead.

# ? Aug 10, 2014 11:51

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

Darth Walrus posted:

In our regular 'wtf UKIP' news...

The funny thing is that Hitler wasn't actually considered that great an orator - he had a weird bumpkin accent, tripped over his words a lot, and his speeches meandered all over the place (People have compared him to Ian Paisley and not entirely in a :godwin:

sense). His power came from a simple political platform with an easy solution for the massive problems Germany faced - and ultimately from the glowering men in brown or grey standing in front of him, not some magical oratory.

# ? Aug 10, 2014 11:52

Pesky Splinter: Feb 16, 2011; A worried pug.

goddamnedtwisto posted:

The funny thing is that Hitler wasn't actually considered that great an orator - he had a weird bumpkin accent, tripped over his words a lot, and his speeches meandered all over the place (People have compared him to Ian Paisley and not entirely in a sense). His power came from a simple political platform with an easy solution for the massive problems Germany faced - and ultimately from the glowering men in brown or grey standing in front of him, not some magical oratory.

Don't forget also, the massive propaganda mill to propagate that message and his image.

# ? Aug 10, 2014 11:59

Safety Biscuits: Oct 21, 2010

DesperateDan posted:

Such as?

The fact that all Muslims are one group who all think the same, and the Islamic State considers them all to be their citizens, (just like all Jews think the same and should all be considered citizens of Israel) means that because British Muslims are threatening British Jews, Israel is totally justified in defending itself from its attackers in Gaza. At least that's how I understand it, a better person to ask might be Jedit.

# ? Aug 10, 2014 12:02

Jedit: Dec 10, 2011; Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

Pesky Splinter posted:

Satire is dead.

So is Hitler. Coincidence? Perhaps not.

# ? Aug 10, 2014 12:02

EmptyVessel: Oct 30, 2012

One Pigeon posted:

Has anyone got any further info on this article?
http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/nun-tears-down-jihadi-flag-after-it-appeared-at-gates-of-tower-hamlets-estate-9656920.html
Someone just posted it on my Facebook but my bullshit detectors went off when I saw that it was from the Standard but also after reading the opening lines
containing the word "similar".

Edited for being written rather badly on my phone.

How about the horses mouth? - yesterdays Saturday PM has a 5 minute interview with the nun herself (starts at 13:58). She makes it clear that she didn't ask for it to be taken down for religious reasons but because she was worried that the bad media representation of it would attract the likes of the EDL (it was actually taken down by a Muslim who agreed with her concern). She blames the Guardian story for starting the problem and says that they are going to put it back up with an explanation of what the flag actually represents.

Elsewhere in the program (3:37) there's a report on vast amounts of fuel being siphoned out of an Esso pipeline that runs under Clegg's official country residence :v:

Phillip Hammond lives on the same estate, are the Con-Dems moving into blatant theft?

# ? Aug 10, 2014 13:13

Tortuga: Aug 27, 2011; Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

EvilGenius posted:

Holy poo poo, this guy is being accused of being a member of Isis and a paedophile in a single tweet? I'd sue the gently caress out of her.

Considering the big load of ISIS flags right behind him I'm not sure he'd get much for the first accusation there.

# ? Aug 10, 2014 15:01

Praseodymi: Aug 26, 2010

loving landlord putting the rent is up w
£20 despite the fact we've been here for a year and the extractor fan still hasn't been fixed.

# ? Aug 10, 2014 15:21

kim jong-illin: May 2, 2011

Tortuga posted:

Considering the big load of ISIS flags right behind him I'm not sure he'd get much for the first accusation there.

You mean the black flags? Those aren't ISIS flags, they're generic Islamic flags used by many different Islamic groups, including ISIS. By calling them ISIS flags you're falling into the same camp of thought as Louise Mensch did in the first place, which isn't a good side to be on.

# ? Aug 10, 2014 15:54

Tortuga: Aug 27, 2011; Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

That isn't a generic black flag, there are definitely not many different Islamic groups that use that specific flag.

# ? Aug 10, 2014 16:19

DesperateDan: Dec 10, 2005; Where's my cow?

Is that my cow?

No it isn't, but it still tramples my bloody lavender.

Tortuga posted:

That isn't a generic black flag, there are definitely not many different Islamic groups that use that specific flag.

There may be some confusion between the black flag that was taken down in tower hamlets by a nun (non-isis) and the picture with the isis dude with the crying girl that lost a quran-competition (isis flags abound) that mensch was displaying as a prelude to childrape.

# ? Aug 10, 2014 16:26

HortonNash: Oct 10, 2012

DesperateDan posted:

a nun (non-isis)

You sure? She looks shifty to me, and them ISIS fellows are sneaky like that!

# ? Aug 10, 2014 18:45

Rush Limbo: Sep 5, 2005; its with a full house

The black standard is a very common Muslim flag that has been appropriated by various different groups, some of them not so nice (like IS)

Hawaii still uses the Union Flag on their own, they're not affiliated with us though.

# ? Aug 10, 2014 19:41

Tortuga: Aug 27, 2011; Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

Ddraig posted:

The black standard is a very common Muslim flag that has been appropriated by various different groups, some of them not so nice (like IS)

I would have thought that goes without menschning, but that particular version in that photo is specifically the flag of ISIS. (The photo she posted, not the Tower Hamlets phote where you cant even see the flag properly anyway)

# ? Aug 10, 2014 20:02

Rush Limbo: Sep 5, 2005; its with a full house

In this particular case but I'm guessing someone who lies like her wouldn't be particularly careful with her identification. ISIS has done plenty of terrible poo poo without making stuff up.

# ? Aug 10, 2014 20:28

baka kaba: Jul 19, 2003; PLEASE ASK ME, THE SELF-PROFESSED NO #1 PAUL CATTERMOLE FAN IN THE SOMETHING AWFUL S-CLUB 7 MEGATHREAD, TO NAME A SINGLE SONG BY HIS EXCELLENT NU-METAL SIDE PROJECT, SKUA, AND IF I CAN'T PLEASE TELL ME TO
EAT SHIT

Tortuga posted:

I would have thought that goes without menschning, but that particular version in that photo is specifically the flag of ISIS. (The photo she posted, not the Tower Hamlets phote where you cant even see the flag properly anyway)

You could see the flag on the Tower Hamlets photo enough to tell it wasn't the same thing. The ISIS flag is pretty much a brand, it has a very specific design that makes it immediately recognisable even if you can't read the text, it's kind of the point! The TH flag was just white on black and that's about it.

That said it did have an aura of evil power

quote:

The flag had intimidated Christian residents, a city banker admitted to being unnerved by its presence, and on Thursday night there were accusations of anti-semitic behaviour by a group of youths hanging around underneath it.

Someone else makes the obvious point about flags that are associated with extremism

quote:

"They had no idea of the implications of the black flag being taken over by Isis fighting in Iraq, in the same way as the BNP appropriated the union jack and gave a bad feel to it," Frost later told the East London Advertiser.

I guess there'll be a lot of flags coming down!

# ? Aug 10, 2014 20:51

DesperateDan: Dec 10, 2005; Where's my cow?

Is that my cow?

No it isn't, but it still tramples my bloody lavender.

HortonNash posted:

You sure? She looks shifty to me, and them ISIS fellows are sneaky like that!

You don't have to associate nuns with ISIS to make them scare the piss out of a former catholic schoolboy.

Alternative response:

# ? Aug 10, 2014 20:57

baka kaba: Jul 19, 2003; PLEASE ASK ME, THE SELF-PROFESSED NO #1 PAUL CATTERMOLE FAN IN THE SOMETHING AWFUL S-CLUB 7 MEGATHREAD, TO NAME A SINGLE SONG BY HIS EXCELLENT NU-METAL SIDE PROJECT, SKUA, AND IF I CAN'T PLEASE TELL ME TO
EAT SHIT

Ddraig posted:

In this particular case but I'm guessing someone who lies like her wouldn't be particularly careful with her identification. ISIS has done plenty of terrible poo poo without making stuff up.

Yeah if anything she's giving them cover and legitimacy, because blatantly making poo poo up (to push her own public profile) sure doesn't make them look bad, and it distracts from the valid criticisms. If anything it's like the strawman propaganda that groups secretly put out themselves, so they can blame it on their critics and use it to undermine them

# ? Aug 10, 2014 20:58

Rush Limbo: Sep 5, 2005; its with a full house

It's a play directly from The Prince. Make an anonymous, truly terrible claim about yourself that can be definitively proven as false, then any lesser claims that probably can be proven as true will be treated with suspicion.

# ? Aug 10, 2014 21:01

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

baka kaba posted:

You could see the flag on the Tower Hamlets photo enough to tell it wasn't the same thing. The ISIS flag is pretty much a brand, it has a very specific design that makes it immediately recognisable even if you can't read the text, it's kind of the point! The TH flag was just white on black and that's about it.

That said it did have an aura of evil power

Someone else makes the obvious point about flags that are associated with extremism

I guess there'll be a lot of flags coming down!

Will Crooks is probably rotating way faster in his grave because of city bankers living on the estate that bears his name than local youths protesting.

# ? Aug 10, 2014 21:06

Praseodymi: Aug 26, 2010

I don't know, "Crooks Estate" is probably the best place for bankers to live! :downsrim:

# ? Aug 10, 2014 21:54

baka kaba: Jul 19, 2003; PLEASE ASK ME, THE SELF-PROFESSED NO #1 PAUL CATTERMOLE FAN IN THE SOMETHING AWFUL S-CLUB 7 MEGATHREAD, TO NAME A SINGLE SONG BY HIS EXCELLENT NU-METAL SIDE PROJECT, SKUA, AND IF I CAN'T PLEASE TELL ME TO
EAT SHIT

goddamnedtwisto posted:

Will Crooks is probably rotating way faster in his grave because of city bankers living on the estate that bears his name than local youths protesting.

Au contraire, a much-needed correction has been made!

quote:

This article was amended on 9 August 2014. It originally referred to city bankers being unnerved by the flag's presence. It was in fact one city banker. This has been corrected.

Will Crooks is still spinning in his grave because the flag is using him to drill Terror Tunnels� right into the estate

# ? Aug 10, 2014 22:29

stefania_r: Sep 2, 2011

HortonNash posted:

Christians can't legally marry though can they? They have to head over to Cyprus for that.

Really? I know that Israel has no civil marriage but I assumed that Christians/Muslims can just get married in a religious ceremony.

# ? Aug 11, 2014 02:38

Adrianics: Aug 15, 2006; Affirmative. Yes. Yo. Right on. My man.

We're extending our lease by six months, the estate agent is charging a �150 'administration fee' when all they've done is send five e-mails and a mail-merged letter for signature confirming that everything's staying as it is. gently caress the way things are, it makes me so angry.

# ? Aug 11, 2014 07:50

Jedit: Dec 10, 2011; Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

Adrianics posted:

We're extending our lease by six months, the estate agent is charging a £150 'administration fee' when all they've done is send five e-mails and a mail-merged letter for signature confirming that everything's staying as it is. gently caress the way things are, it makes me so angry.

If in doubt, report them to the OFT. Also check your original contract for lease extension clauses.

# ? Aug 11, 2014 09:02

TinTower: Apr 21, 2010; You don't have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero.

So former boxing promoter Frank Maloney has come out as trans and gave an interview how her gender dysphoria pushed her, at points, to the brink of suicide. You'd think that the press would be sympathetic, right?

Hahahahahahahaha no.

And people think the PCC is working?

# ? Aug 11, 2014 09:17

A Sloth: Aug 4, 2010; EVERY TIME I POST I AM REQUIRED TO DISCLOSE THAT I AM A SHITHEAD.

ASK ME MY EXPERT OPINION ON GENDER BASED INSULTS & "ENGLISH ETHNIC GROUPS".

Are you triggered by puns or something?

# ? Aug 11, 2014 09:23

TinTower: Apr 21, 2010; You don't have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero.

I'm more disgusted that they make fun of someone who's expressed a history of suicidality as well as mocking innate characteristics.

Then again, this is also the paper that brought us "Bonkers Bruno Locked Up", so there's that.

# ? Aug 11, 2014 09:29

Zephro: Nov 23, 2000; I suppose I could part with one and still be feared...

TinTower posted:

And people think the PCC is working?

It's definitely working. It's designed specifically to be toothless, remember?

# ? Aug 11, 2014 09:53

StoicFnord: Jul 27, 2012; "If you want to make enemies....try to change something."; College Slice

A Sloth posted:

Are you triggered by puns or something?

Triggered by terrible newspapers. And people who don't get why things are bad.

# ? Aug 11, 2014 11:30

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 6, 2024 02:50

mfcrocker: Jan 31, 2004; Hot Rope Guy

StoicFnord posted:

Triggered by terrible newspapers. And people who don't get why things are bad.

Na you see mate it's proper funny bants to take the piss outta the word trigger and say you're triggered by shoes or clouds or something. Jokes innit.

# ? Aug 11, 2014 11:37

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT August '14 - BoJo's Brilliant Buran Bazaar

«‹›45 »