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SirDan3k posted:You can jerk any meat 
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Aug 10, 2014 15:13
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All I know is I've never met a meat I couldn't jerk 
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Aug 11, 2014 02:42
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I'm sad about the dog. What kind of person makes dogs an enemy in a video game?
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Aug 11, 2014 03:46
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I'm more sad about the turd goblins. I mean, they just hang out in the sewers all day and they seem so happy flinging poops around all over the place, and then you have to go and invade their home and kill them by the scores.
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Aug 11, 2014 05:29
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SirDan3k posted:You can jerk any meat, you'd be chewing them now until judgment day but you could jerk them. Isn't jerking done on tough lean cuts cut partially against the grain to ideal thickness for chewing? I ain't never had no jerky. Sweetmeats shouldn't work because they'd just dry up and crumble. Brain, liver, and kidneys definitely would crumble. I think testes are sweetmeats, but Wikipedia is really deficient on information on ejaculation so I can't tell how much muscle development is involved in that. Oh yeah, this game is loving hideous. Holy poo poo. Why did they try for photorealistic textures with this green-tinted palette and, you know, it being a cartoony game about rednecks? The Wizard of Oz fucked around with this message at 06:08 on Aug 11, 2014 |
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Aug 11, 2014 06:03
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The Wizard of Oz posted:Isn't jerking done on tough lean cuts cut partially against the grain to ideal thickness for chewing? I ain't never had no jerky. You can jerk any meat. It doesn't mean that you should or that the product would be at all enjoyable, though.
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Aug 11, 2014 06:45
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I know you can jerk deer testes so I imagine you can do the same to any testes but it was done as a gross out gag and nobody actually tried them. If you haven't guessed I live in the deep south.
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Aug 11, 2014 07:28
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The Wizard of Oz posted:Isn't jerking done on tough lean cuts cut partially against the grain to ideal thickness for chewing? I ain't never had no jerky. Jerking is done on lean meat because greasy meat spoils easier.
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Aug 11, 2014 09:21
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I'm really pleased to be responsible for this discussion. It's so appropriate.
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Aug 11, 2014 12:53
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Dr. Buttass posted:I'm sad about the dog. What kind of person makes dogs an enemy in a video game? The kind of person who realizes how dangerous some dogs can be under the right circumstances? Junkyard and hunting dogs are not to be messed with. For example, I will point out that the Caucasian shepherd dog is kinda like if you mixed a really big dog with a bear.
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Aug 11, 2014 15:13
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azren posted:The kind of person who realizes how dangerous some dogs can be under the right circumstances? Junkyard and hunting dogs are not to be messed with. For example, I will point out that the Caucasian shepherd dog is kinda like if you mixed a really big dog with a bear. Well, yeah some dogs are a legitimate threat and so on but it's still really hard to feel good about killing one in a video game. Maybe I'll see about modding their graphic to something more appropriate, like a photo of Paula Deen.
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Aug 11, 2014 16:02
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Have Southern Culture on the Skids and Graveyard Boulevard been mentioned yet? The soundtrack is the only reason to play this game. Another enjoyable facet of Southern country living: it is indeed possible to deep fry an entire groundhog.
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Aug 11, 2014 17:08
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Squirrel Melts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RlK0Xd4c2c Actually, it isn't the idea of squirrel melts that that I find abhorrently fascinating, it's the gosh-golly-gee production values and presentation. Also maybe the way she says "He's kinda cute...put his tender little butt in there."
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Aug 11, 2014 18:00
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The Wizard of Oz posted:jerking senrath posted:You can jerk any meat. SirDan3k posted:I know you can jerk deer testes Steelpudding posted:Jerking is done on lean meat because greasy meat spoils easier. skoolmunkee posted:I'm really pleased . Go hog wild, everybody!
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Aug 11, 2014 18:55
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azren posted:The kind of person who realizes how dangerous some dogs can be under the right circumstances? Junkyard and hunting dogs are not to be messed with. For example, I will point out that the Caucasian shepherd dog is kinda like if you mixed a really big dog with a bear. I'm with Skippy. Just because dogs can be dangerous doesn't mean you feel like a badass for dealing with one. On top of that as someone who works with dogs on a regular basis I will tell you without hesitation that the only dangerous dogs are dogs trained to be that way. That's why "junkyard and hunting dogs" in particular are not to be messed with, they're specifically taught to be aggressive. A Caucasian shepherd looks pretty impressive but it's not gonna rip peoples' faces off unless you specifically teach it to.
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Aug 11, 2014 19:39
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I hate fighting dogs in video games because they're fast and tiny and run all over the place, like the gremlin dudes in Castlevania. Usually they don't even do much damage either, they're just aggravating as all hell and that turns them into a priority target when there's often something more important around. That is as much as I care about pixels floating about my video screen. Also dogs are total fuckers in stealth games. I mean, I'm not saying I can't have an emotional connection with a video game character (I really want to check into Valiant Hearts), but I definitely don't with one I'm supposed to shoot. The Wizard of Oz fucked around with this message at 00:03 on Aug 12, 2014 |
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Aug 11, 2014 23:56
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Great Joe posted:I rate this thread Hog brain is another unusual cut of meat I've seen jerked, it was gross.
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Aug 12, 2014 02:44
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I think the real question this thread isn't answering is, where can I buy dog jerky?
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Aug 12, 2014 06:46
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Great Joe posted:I think the real question this thread isn't answering is, where can I buy dog jerky? Probably have to look somewhere in East Asia as I believe dog meat is not widely available in the Western world.
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Aug 12, 2014 06:47
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Okay but am I the only one here who's eaten horse?
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Aug 12, 2014 07:48
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I've eaten horse meat, it's not particularly common in the western world but it's a lot more common than dog meat. In fact I think dog meat is straight up illegal down here.
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Aug 12, 2014 08:25
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SirDan3k posted:Hog brain is another unusual cut of meat I've seen jerked, it was gross. How on earth is brain jerked? I would imagine that any type of jerked meat would need some kind of titin fibres in it to work... I could only imagine jerked brain to have the texture of really dry scrambled eggs.
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Aug 12, 2014 08:48
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Samovar posted:How on earth is brain jerked? I would imagine that any type of jerked meat would need some kind of titin fibres in it to work... I could only imagine jerked brain to have the texture of really dry scrambled eggs. Never underestimate the determination of hunters the first season they get ahold of a Ronco dehydrator. If you have ever seen that layer of grease that forms when you choose to fatty a cut to jerk? It's was pretty much just a thick layer of that protecting a sliver of undercooked brain.
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Aug 12, 2014 11:59
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Great Joe posted:Okay but am I the only one here who's eaten horse? Nope. Salted horse meat is delicious.
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Aug 12, 2014 13:01
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Great Joe posted:Okay but am I the only one here who's eaten horse? Certainly not. Horse meat is delicious. Dog meat, however, would give me guilty feelings.
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Aug 12, 2014 13:21
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SirDan3k posted:Never underestimate the determination of hunters the first season they get ahold of a Ronco dehydrator. If you have ever seen that layer of grease that forms when you choose to fatty a cut to jerk? It's was pretty much just a thick layer of that protecting a sliver of undercooked brain. Ooh, I can feel the invasive prions just burying into my brain thinking of that.
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Aug 12, 2014 14:11
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Neruz posted:I've eaten horse meat, it's not particularly common in the western world but it's a lot more common than dog meat. In fact I think dog meat is straight up illegal down here. Delta Green posted:Certainly not. Horse meat is delicious. Cathulhu posted:Nope. Salted horse meat is delicious.
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Aug 12, 2014 21:20
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The Wizard of Oz posted:I think testes are sweetmeats, but Wikipedia is really deficient on information on ejaculation so I can't tell how much muscle development is involved in that. None, at least not on the part of the testes. It's basically all in the pelvic floor. All the testes do is produce hormones and little swimmers.
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Aug 12, 2014 22:00
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Great Joe posted:Whoa, cool. Yeah, horse meat is delish. I recommend everyone try eating horse. Eh to be honest I prefer beef, horse was definitely an interesting flavour but there was something about the texture that just didn't sit right with me.
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Aug 12, 2014 23:22
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Neruz posted:Eh to be honest I prefer beef, horse was definitely an interesting flavour but there was something about the texture that just didn't sit right with me. Shame on you, beef is 10 times more polluting to produce than any other animal. Cows fart a lot.
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Aug 12, 2014 23:28
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Steelpudding posted:Shame on you, beef is 10 times more polluting to produce than any other animal. Cows fart a lot. But it tastes so good 
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Aug 13, 2014 00:30
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Neruz posted:Eh to be honest I prefer beef, horse was definitely an interesting flavour but there was something about the texture that just didn't sit right with me.
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Aug 13, 2014 00:39
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Great Joe posted:I do hate getting horse meat stuck between my teeth, the salty stuff gets all wiry. IMO, pork is the best meat, really easy to cook right and goes well with any seasoning. Pork is also very polluting.
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Aug 13, 2014 01:50
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Delta Green posted:Pork is also very polluting. Clearly we all need to switch to insect-based foodstuffs, much more ecologically friendly. Anyone feel like a fried cricket?
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Aug 13, 2014 01:55
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I dunno if you're being serious or not, but some people have actually suggested that. I have completely no idea how you'd prepare mealworms for human consumption, but I hope that by the time I'm old enough for beef to have been outlawed by the eco-police, someone has invented a functioning replicator. 
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Aug 13, 2014 02:53
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Captain Bravo posted:I dunno if you're being serious or not, but some people have actually suggested that. I'm not sure I can trust a graphic that names Minnesota, Iowa, North Carolina, and Illinois but colors in Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, North Carolina, and the north half of Michigan. Interesting note, though: I've heard it theorized that the reason we humans enjoy crunchy food like potato chips and Fritos is because we're supposed to be enjoying crunchy food like crickets and grasshoppers. Roasted insects are a more nutritious snack food, too.
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Aug 13, 2014 03:00
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Captain Bravo posted:I dunno if you're being serious or not, but some people have actually suggested that. Semi-serious, I sincerely doubt that society would be willing to switch to insect-based foodstuffs but I was indeed aware that they are in fact ecologically by far the best option. I've eaten various insect foods before including fried crickets and fried witchetty grubs which were both quite tasty and slightly upsetting to eat for reasons that I cannot entirely elucidate. That said odds are we will simply be forced to slowly include more and more insects in our diets simply because there is no other way to feed all the human beings.
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Aug 13, 2014 03:01
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Don't worry, it'll be like veggie burgers where as long as you don't look at the packaging you won't get triggered despite it not tasting the same. Also there are legit restaurants that make insect dishes in Vancouver so yeah, it's not infeasible to do that sort of thing if there were any public interest in making it commonplace.
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Aug 13, 2014 03:02
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I'll be the crazy old coot locked up in his basement and ranting about the gub'ment, except instead of stockpiling guns and bullets I'll have a small herd of cattle and a few dozen piglets in my bomb shelter. When they finally crack the vault door years later to try and locate my corpse, the smell will be unimaginable.
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Aug 13, 2014 03:08
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Captain Bravo posted:I'll be the crazy old coot locked up in his basement and ranting about the gub'ment, except instead of stockpiling guns and bullets I'll have a small herd of cattle and a few dozen piglets in my bomb shelter. Entirely new species of microorganisms will be discovered in the... remains...
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Aug 13, 2014 03:12
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