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Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.
So if I was combat arms in Korea am I qualified to make bank contracting/advising for this new peacetime army's policy of maximum bullshit

I deployed to Afghanistan twice, does that disqualify me

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Bolow
Feb 27, 2007

No but you might be a shoe in for the suicide encouragement officer position

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Bolow posted:

No but you might be a shoe in for the suicide encouragement officer position

That's a specialist job filled by a warrant. Give em each a pistol, bottle of jack, a bottle of valium, and couple hours of private time in a bathroom to figure it out.

McNally
Sep 13, 2007

Ask me about Proposition 305


Do you like muskets?

Anansi The Spider posted:

At least I get delicious sand hill dfac food for 3 years. Also loving airborne POGUES sound off the weirdest versions of cadences. Also airborne dfac too good.

Hey guess what, you're in TRADOC. You're about as pog(ue) as it gets right now sport.

Woof Blitzer
Dec 29, 2012

[-]
Asymmetric Warfare Group is TRADOC. Checkmate.

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Neo Duckberg posted:

Asymmetric Warfare Group is TRADOC. Checkmate.
They're high speed, they don't count.

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


I remember a peacetime military. It was gay. Not always the walk into a rain room with ten dudes and a semi kind, but still pretty gay.

Victor Vermis
Dec 21, 2004


WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Steezo posted:

I remember a peacetime military. It was gay. Not always the walk into a rain room with ten dudes and a semi kind, but still pretty gay.

Not "always"? Just sometimes? Did they instruct you to have a semi or did you take the initiative all on your own?

Nerato
Oct 17, 2008

Victor Vermis posted:

Not "always"? Just sometimes? Did they instruct you to have a semi or did you take the initiative all on your own?

They beat you with (man)sticks until you get the semi.

ded
Oct 27, 2005

Kooler than Jesus

Subterfrugal posted:

I joined the Bill Clinton peacetime college train and you all hosed it up by voting Republican.

Steezo
Jun 16, 2003
Now go away, or I shall taunt you a second time!


Initiative was rewarded but not necessary.

Nostalgia4Dogges
Jun 18, 2004

Only emojis can express my pure, simple stupidity.

Gonna join because I'm a gangster and when I get out I can teach all my homies how to shoot and combat tactics

tyler
Jun 2, 2014

I got offered as spot as an SF seal sniper ranger, but i couldn't join because of medical reasons...

GolfHole
Feb 26, 2004

Don't you get to joyride tanks through Dusseldorf?

Painsaw
Jul 3, 2008

Butts lol
I nearly t-boned this chick in her car in germany

Except it was with a stryker and not my dick :(

sforzacio
Nov 6, 2012

Story still got me to half mast, regardless.

ded
Oct 27, 2005

Kooler than Jesus
my cousin joined the army in the 80s and went to germany

he got some kind of money from a bonus or some poo poo and bought a ferrari


he wrecked it a few days later

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

ded posted:

my cousin joined the army in the 80s and went to germany

he got some kind of money from a bonus or some poo poo and bought a ferrari


he wrecked it a few days later

enlisted.txt

ded
Oct 27, 2005

Kooler than Jesus

pretty much


oh also he married a smoking hot german chick and brought her home with him

a few days later she was running around in the street screaming like a crazy rear end bitch because she really didnt understand what anyone was saying and thought everyone hated her or some poo poo (my family thought she was great, till that)


divorced a few months later

gleep gloop
Aug 16, 2005

GROSS SHIT
If he found himself a German that didn't speak English he found a real trashy German.

tyler
Jun 2, 2014

I imagine peacetime military as a mixture of Sgt Bilko and Stripes.

sforzacio
Nov 6, 2012

a peacetime military is more like a mixture of the first half of Full Metal Jacket and Oz (the HBO show with tons of buttsex)

Qtotonibudinibudet
Nov 7, 2011



Omich poluyobok, skazhi ty narkoman? ya prosto tozhe gde to tam zhivu, mogli by vmeste uyobyvat' narkotiki
I have two friends, Elchin "Eugene" Turatov and Aleksandr "Sasha" Mairanovskiy. Eugene is from Uzbekistan and graduated with a math bachelor's degree from a leading US liberal arts college in the top 15% percent of his class. After winning the H1-B lottery, he's worked for several major think tanks and consulting firms, the US congress, the UN, and recently co-founded an econometrics firm in the Bay Area. Sasha is from Irkutsk, got his master's degree at a leading Russian academic institute, went on to obtain a PhD in biophysics from the Curie Institute in Paris, and from there on published several papers while working in bionanotechnology postdoctoral research at two Ivy League universities.

Both Eugene and Sasha are enlisting in the US Army through the MAVNI program to gain citizenship (specifically, Sasha is already enlisted and through basic training; Eugene is still in the process of enlisting), as both are polyglots fluent in English and their native Uzbek/Russian, and capable in Turkish and Ukrainian/French and German, respectively, so they both meet the language requirement several times over. It's weird for me watching them do this while reading the Ask Us About Joining the US Military thread's constant "DO NOT ENLIST WITH A DEGREE YOU WILL BE SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS AND IDIOCY AND WILL HATE YOUR LIFE" schtick--I guess the citizenship angle is valid, as I have no firsthand experience as to whether years of enlisted life bullshit would be worse than years of US immigration system bullshit.

I'd say their lives so far have been similar-ish--they're both intelligent, well-educated, successful professionally, and decided enlisting and obtaining citizenship almost immediately was better than trying to naturalize somehow else. However, the Ukrainian conflicts/crises has started a fantastic Facebook slapfight between them. Eugene is more patriotically pro-American than any native citizen I know; Sasha seems to take everything put out by Russia Today as gospel. They've been going back and forth for days: Eugene will post an article from Radio Svoboda or somesuch, Sasha will show up RT's counterpiece short after, and there will soon be tens or hundreds of comments back and forth in an epic flame war of something something well a Ukrainian SU-25 could have taken down MH-17 we have no way of knowing no that's bullshit and makes no sense those aren't armed for air-to-air combat well something something Zbigniew Brzezinski is controlling Obama and NBC is just as bad as RT something something Descartes solipsism North Korea something something kangaroos.

It's all pretty confusing.

OMFG PTSD LOL PBUH
Sep 9, 2001
Your friends are idiots.

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!
For all of their learning, they still seem pretty loving dumb.

Naked Bear fucked around with this message at 17:04 on Aug 14, 2014

gleep gloop
Aug 16, 2005

GROSS SHIT
Your friends are going to kill themselves.

Bolow
Feb 27, 2007

I can't imagine especially with those degrees that getting a work visa or eventually citizenship would be very difficult at all. So yeah your friends are highly educated idiots.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

I'd like to watch a PhD mop a floor for once.

gleep gloop
Aug 16, 2005

GROSS SHIT
Seriously. Someone is going to find out how educated they are and will put them to work using their minds. To fill out spreadsheets about who qualified what on the range and who needs to take a PT test. Also their superiors, who will probably be incredibly stupid, will constantly make fun of them for going to college but managing to get bossed around by someone with a degree in Military History from Hollywood Upstairs University.

Frosted Flake
Sep 13, 2011

Semper Shitpost Ubique

We had a Doctor of Anthropology in my platoon is basic. Once the staff found out they especially enjoyed volunteering him for the shittiest most menial jobs, and asking him the hardest "smart" questions they could think of. If he got a question wrong, the rest of us faced collective punishment. I'm still not convinced any of them knew what anthropology was.

Admiral Bosch
Apr 19, 2007
Who is Admiral Aken Bosch, and what is that old scoundrel up to?
at least nobody in the states has to do this

Best Friends
Nov 4, 2011

IPvSH6T posted:

I have two friends, Elchin "Eugene" Turatov and Aleksandr "Sasha" Mairanovskiy. Eugene is from Uzbekistan and graduated with a math bachelor's degree from a leading US liberal arts college in the top 15% percent of his class. After winning the H1-B lottery, he's worked for several major think tanks and consulting firms, the US congress, the UN, and recently co-founded an econometrics firm in the Bay Area. Sasha is from Irkutsk, got his master's degree at a leading Russian academic institute, went on to obtain a PhD in biophysics from the Curie Institute in Paris, and from there on published several papers while working in bionanotechnology postdoctoral research at two Ivy League universities.

Both Eugene and Sasha are enlisting in the US Army through the MAVNI program to gain citizenship (specifically, Sasha is already enlisted and through basic training; Eugene is still in the process of enlisting), as both are polyglots fluent in English and their native Uzbek/Russian, and capable in Turkish and Ukrainian/French and German, respectively, so they both meet the language requirement several times over. It's weird for me watching them do this while reading the Ask Us About Joining the US Military thread's constant "DO NOT ENLIST WITH A DEGREE YOU WILL BE SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS AND IDIOCY AND WILL HATE YOUR LIFE" schtick--I guess the citizenship angle is valid, as I have no firsthand experience as to whether years of enlisted life bullshit would be worse than years of US immigration system bullshit.

I'd say their lives so far have been similar-ish--they're both intelligent, well-educated, successful professionally, and decided enlisting and obtaining citizenship almost immediately was better than trying to naturalize somehow else. However, the Ukrainian conflicts/crises has started a fantastic Facebook slapfight between them. Eugene is more patriotically pro-American than any native citizen I know; Sasha seems to take everything put out by Russia Today as gospel. They've been going back and forth for days: Eugene will post an article from Radio Svoboda or somesuch, Sasha will show up RT's counterpiece short after, and there will soon be tens or hundreds of comments back and forth in an epic flame war of something something well a Ukrainian SU-25 could have taken down MH-17 we have no way of knowing no that's bullshit and makes no sense those aren't armed for air-to-air combat well something something Zbigniew Brzezinski is controlling Obama and NBC is just as bad as RT something something Descartes solipsism North Korea something something kangaroos.

It's all pretty confusing.


Reserves or national guard. please tell me they enlisted in the reserves or national guard. That's what they're there for. If you have other things going on but want to serve your country or you are somehow the 1% of a 1% that gets a tangible benefit from military enlistment. I know in my heart of hearts that these dudes are in places like Fort Sill surrounded by 30 something chinless specialists being told every friday to please not commit any felonies by a E-9 who himself barely escaped prison once, but please, please tell me they went reserve anyway.

Best Friends
Nov 4, 2011

update: I asked a NG officer I work with how this program works and these guys are almost certainly active duty enlisted

lol

sforzacio
Nov 6, 2012

Please tell me they are Infantry

tyler
Jun 2, 2014

sforzacio posted:

Please tell me they are Infantry

Yeah I am really enjoying my skills transferring over to the civilian world.

Victor Vermis
Dec 21, 2004


WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

zombie303 posted:

Yeah I am really enjoying my skills transferring over to the civilian world.

Hang on sir, I missed everything after "Large Fries" because I just got a hit on the radar.

Please pull forward and we'll be out shortly with a hamburger requisition form.

tyler
Jun 2, 2014

I guess there are always banks that need robbing.

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit

zombie303 posted:

I guess there are always banks that need robbing.

GreenMeat
Sep 2, 2002
slow mutant

That program is a real crapshoot on the enlisted side. A fuckton of MAVNI enlistees end up as 88M. DA G2 is terrible about tracking who came in under MAVNI; they lose visibility of where all those supposedly critical language skills end up.

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Justin Tyme
Feb 22, 2011


zombie303 posted:

I guess there are always banks that need robbing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luke_Elliott_Sommer

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