NFL N/V Week 1: We're all 0-0

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Faltese Malkin: Aug 22, 2005; Georgetown

Bort Bortles posted:

gently caress Blaine Gabbert. gently caress Jack Del Rio. gently caress "Shack" Harris.

This is from a few pages back, but you triggered my love of revisionist draft history.

From the 2011 draft, these are the players taken in the first 14 picks

Cam Newton
Von Miller
Marcell Darius
AJ Green
Patrick Peterson
Julio Jones
Aldon Smith
Tyron Smith
JJ Watt
Nick Fairley
Robert Quinn

That is an incredible top half of a draft; only Nick Fairley hasn't made a Pro Bowl. And the 3 QB's taken? Jake Locker (8), Blaine Gabbert (10), and Christian Ponder (12).

Edit: No burn on Newton, just a mistake.

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:06

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 06:49

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005

Is this some subtle burn on cam newton because I'm ready to get mad.

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:07

FeedingHam2Cats: Nov 10, 2009

Faltese Malkin posted:

This is from a few pages back, but you triggered my love of revisionist draft history.

From the 2011 draft, these are the players taken in the first 14 picks

Cam Newton
And the 3 QB's taken? Jake Locker (8), Blaine Gabbert (10), and Christian Ponder (12).

I know Cam's black and all but he's still a QB

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:08

That Works: Jul 22, 2006; Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy

Cam's a bust anyways

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:10

Vertical Lime: Dec 11, 2004

ProFootballTalk @ProFootballTalk
Source: Welker took Molly at the Kentucky Derby. It had been cut with amphetamines. Same situation as Orlando Scandrick.

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:12

Alfred P. Pseudonym: May 29, 2006; And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Vertical Lime posted:

ProFootballTalk @ProFootballTalk
Source: Welker took Molly at the Kentucky Derby. It had been cut with amphetamines. Same situation as Orlando Scandrick.

Lol

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:13

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

So doesn't that warrant a years suspension?

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:14

MourningView: Sep 2, 2006; Is this Heaven?

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

So doesn't that warrant a years suspension?

First positive test is four games.

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:15

Eltoasto: Aug 26, 2002; We come spinning out of nothingness, scattering stars like dust.

I bet those big hats looked loving crazy to him.

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:15

Magicpants: Sep 15, 2011; Certified Poster

I just have so many questions. First of all, who drops ecstasy at the Kentucky Derby?

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:16

MourningView: Sep 2, 2006; Is this Heaven?

Magicpants posted:

I just have so many questions. First of all, who drops ecstasy at the Kentucky Derby?

It'd probably be pretty rad.

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:17

Pryor on Fire: May 14, 2013; they don't know all alien abduction experiences can be explained by people thinking saving private ryan was a documentary

So it wasn't even Adderall? He was popping Molly and it happened to have meth in it at a loving horse race? Hahahahahah.

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:18

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

aww man i'm supposed to hate wes welker

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:18

Waroduce: Aug 5, 2008

Vertical Lime posted:

ProFootballTalk @ProFootballTalk
Source: Welker took Molly at the Kentucky Derby. It had been cut with amphetamines. Same situation as Orlando Scandrick.

Smh at million dollar athletes not getting clean poo poo.

Also lol who the gently caress would do molly for the Kentucky derby what kind of fuckin drug and event match is that.

*Goes to see Shakespeare*
*Rails lines of coke between acts*

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:18

born on a buy you: Aug 14, 2005; Odd Fullback
Bird Gang
Sack Them All

Of course the white receiver was rolling at the Kentucky Derby. Can't these thugs ever break away from the stereotypes?

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:18

Faltese Malkin: Aug 22, 2005; Georgetown

Wasn't there a picture of Welker at the race handing out hundred dollar bills?

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:19

Rogue Elephant: May 1, 2007

Magicpants posted:

I just have so many questions. First of all, who drops ecstasy at the Kentucky Derby?

The kind of guy who hands out 100 dollar bills after his horse comes in. Guess that explains that.

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:19

Schwack: Jan 31, 2003; Someone needs to stop this! Sherman has lost his mind! Peyton is completely unable to defend himself out there!

Vertical Lime posted:

Adam Schefter ‏@AdamSchefter
Filed to ESPN: Broncos WR Wes Welker has been suspended four games for use of amphetamines, per sources.

views: welkerhappening.gif won't happen again Sunday

Ha, he's out for the Seattle game. That owns. Seadderal Cheathawks indeed :smug:

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:19

gohuskies: Oct 23, 2010; I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

I think he probably saw that Seahawks were week 3 and he figured a 4 game suspension would be a manly way to duck the game and avoid getting concussed by Kam Chancellor.

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:20

Vertical Lime: Dec 11, 2004

Faltese Malkin posted:

Wasn't there a picture of Welker at the race handing out hundred dollar bills?

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:20

fat greasy puto: Dec 30, 2001; Anime Lover David Beckham

Vertical Lime posted:

i love it

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:20

fat greasy puto: Dec 30, 2001; Anime Lover David Beckham

whats the cop saying to him

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:20

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Vertical Lime posted:

ProFootballTalk @ProFootballTalk
Source: Welker took Molly at the Kentucky Derby. It had been cut with amphetamines. Same situation as Orlando Scandrick.

Oh Wes, you are too good for this world

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:21

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:22

Fork of Unknown Origins: Oct 21, 2005; Gotta Herd On?

Magicpants posted:

I just have so many questions. First of all, who drops ecstasy at the Kentucky Derby?

Wes Welker.

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:23

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005

Volkerball posted:

that dude is on so much loving e and greens.

fun reminder: ecstasy makes your pupils dilate so you have to wear sunglasses to function.

Magicpants posted:

I just have so many questions. First of all, who drops ecstasy at the Kentucky Derby?

the infield at the kentucky derby is a complete poo poo show.

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:23

JPrime: Jul 4, 2007; tales of derring-do, bad ~~and good~~ luck tales!; College Slice

So AZ/SD gets the ESPN Z-team? Berman and Dilfer? Jeebus. :downsgun:

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:25

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

Welkers brain.

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:26

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005

Chinatown posted:

Welkers brain.

yeah seriously the last thing his brain needs is more holes.

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:27

Oberst: May 24, 2010; Fertilizing threads since 2010

Wes welker fuckin rules

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:27

davecrazy: Nov 25, 2004; I'm an insufferable shitposter who does not deserve to root for such a good team. Also, this is what Matt Harvey thinks of me and my garbage posting.

Drug using thugs have no place in the NFL!

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:28

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

FizFashizzle posted:

that dude is on so much loving e and greens.

fun reminder: ecstasy makes your pupils dilate so you have to wear sunglasses to function.

I'm pretty sure in that second one, he caught that phone in the corner of his eye and was like whoooa

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:29

Alfred P. Pseudonym: May 29, 2006; And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Shoulda rocked Tom Ford instead IMO.

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:31

NattyBo: Sep 20, 2004; Football Team.

"Popped a Molly, I'm Sweatin' "

-Trinidad Welker

NattyBo fucked around with this message at 00:37 on Sep 3, 2014

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:33

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005

NattyBo posted:

"Poppin' a Molly I'm Sweatin"

-Trinidad Welker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sp5_EStUth0

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:34

Mughe: Mar 17, 2007; I'll tolerate you until I can replace you.

Faltese Malkin posted:

This is from a few pages back, but you triggered my love of revisionist draft history.

From the 2011 draft, these are the players taken in the first 14 picks

Makes me wish we never made it to superbowl... ya know?

# ? Sep 3, 2014 00:34