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vyst posted:Do you feel there's a moral obligation to use the toilet bowl scrubber to scrub off the crusty poo poo leftovers after you take a massive dump in the work bathroom? Or do you think that's what the hired help is for? On the one hand it's kind of like a poop signature right? Leaving your mark. If your company hasn't hired someone to maintain the toilets, then take nasty dumps until they do
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Jan 15, 2015 22:34
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toggle posted:just use air freshener after that dump you dirty turtle. nothing worse that getting a wiff of a fresh, meaty burg when i open the toilet door. My mom bought this crap called poo Poirier. Its an oil based spray you put in the toilet water so the odor of the turd stays submerged. The only prob is that you have to use it before you drop a load.
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Jan 15, 2015 22:37
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spooky girlfriend posted:Hover-pooping is the highest form of hovering there is. Which is worse, hover-pooping or helicopter parenting?
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Jan 15, 2015 22:37
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genesplicer posted:Which is worse, hover-pooping or helicopter parenting? helicopter pooping
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Jan 15, 2015 22:39
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old dog child posted:If your company hasn't hired someone to maintain the toilets, then take nasty dumps until they do does this make you a job creator?
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Jan 15, 2015 22:41
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whatis posted:does this make you a job creator? in a way, we're all job creators
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Jan 15, 2015 22:42
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old dog child posted:in a way, we're all job creators Yes, and all those grumpy janitors should be grateful to us
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Jan 16, 2015 01:30
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old dog child posted:If your company hasn't hired someone to maintain the toilets, then take nasty dumps until they do We have someone that comes on the weekends
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Jan 16, 2015 03:23
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Tony Homo posted:Why even poo poo at work? Are you guys a bunch of babies that can't hold it til you get home? How about poo poo at home before work? Also women are the worst because they need to sit to piss so figure "I'm already sitting down I may as well lay a loaf" and stink up the whole office. uh because I get to kill 10 minutes taking a poo poo and also I get paid for it? like yeah I can hold it but why?
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Jan 16, 2015 03:27
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If you don't poo poo at work then you are living life wrong
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Jan 16, 2015 03:30
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I literally only poo poo while on the clock
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Jan 16, 2015 03:32
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I shitted twice at work today. Two shits. The first was a vulcan cannon of poo poo, blasting out turd bullets at mach 10 speeds. The second, gentle, like a lovers kiss in the spring rain. Also, that first dump was kind of a time waster too. A moron claimed my server was not configured properly when it was, in fact, his dumbass data that was the little bitch. I returned to an awaiting email stating that I am the real man here, that he will no longer make eye contact with a real man ever again, and that also he will sit down to pee for the rest of the day.
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Jan 16, 2015 03:45
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I don't know guys, first thing is, you shouldn't sit next to another person in a cubicle if there are others free that aren't right next to it. I'm surprised at the state people leave the toilets in at work though. Do they really keep their homes in that manner? I've seen blood splatters in the dudes toilets. Have to admit though, the sound of people dropping deuces always has me laughing though. The real rectum tearing shits you can hear by the shortness of breath and swearing to their deity.
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Jan 16, 2015 03:46
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Dave_Indeed posted:I shitted twice at work today. Two shits. The first was a vulcan cannon of poo poo, blasting out turd bullets at mach 10 speeds. The second, gentle, like a lovers kiss in the spring rain. The first one had to have been a multi wiper.
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Jan 16, 2015 03:54
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goddamn this is just the right thread to tell everyone that yesterday i went into a stall to lay down a big ole dook and there was pee all over the seat and a singular, lengthy pube perched atop the largest puddle so i sigh and check the other stall real quick nope, someone pooped on that one, back to stall #1 for a quick spitshine and im off to the races e: woops accidentally made it sounds like i cranked one out while dumping. i mean, i did, i just didnt mean to tell you guys that
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Jan 16, 2015 04:07
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I recently found out that most ladies do not like to make bathroom noises when in the bathroom with other ladies. As a dangler of this world and a workplace pooper I let it rip, as do many of my other more aged and unhealthy white collar gentlemen. I have heard thunderous and stall shaking sounds that defy imagination as to what they ate and how soon they die. It saddens me to hear that women do not share the same feeling of camaraderie that comes with 4 grown men giggling at farts in a professional environment and would gladly be told otherwise.
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Jan 16, 2015 04:14
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if you are pooping in a stall and someone else walks into the bathroom you have to clear your throat or something. unless its a noisy one., then you dont gotta do nothing this is a social signal, it says "Hey, im here! I'm pooping!" if you do not do this it is considered spying. you are a spy. probably for north korae
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Jan 16, 2015 04:23
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JiveHonky posted:if you are pooping in a stall and someone else walks into the bathroom you have to clear your throat or something. I dont want any attention on me while im making GBS threads man, im a shy shitter. what if the guy took it wrong and thought it meant i wanted his attention like "come over here and watch me poop", what then i remember once when i was drinking daily, as has been since time immemorial and i stunk up a giant toilet room. two of the suit wearing bigwigs came in and started coughing and cursing and there were only two of us low level poopers there to claim it. i finally felt i got my revenge by clogging their airways with my filth after having to listen to them mouth off to people on speakerphones all day while they sat there with their legs up on their desks. its the small things in life, you know...,,
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Jan 16, 2015 11:44
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what are good websites to visit while on the throne. there is something cooking up in my bowels and the coffee pot is empty so it's gonna be a long one. looking at dank reddit memes won't cut it tia for your advice
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Jan 16, 2015 12:45
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genesplicer posted:Which is worse, hover-pooping or helicopter parenting? Hover pooping by far. My retarded nephew either stands on the seat or does a slav squat on the bowl to poo poo. He also doesn't have very good balance and that leads to poo poo steps across the bathroom floor.
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Jan 16, 2015 13:28
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hubris.height posted:what are good websites to visit while on the throne. there is something cooking up in my bowels and the coffee pot is empty so it's gonna be a long one. looking at dank reddit memes won't cut it tia for your advice pornhub.com
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Jan 16, 2015 16:33
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vyst posted:pornhub.com I can't pee with a boner.
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Jan 16, 2015 16:57
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I just empty my bowels into the bowl and leave without considering the consequences. If somebody walks in or another stall is occupied I try to poo poo in silence though.
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Jan 16, 2015 17:00
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Currently pooping at work while (poo poo)posting in this thread. Pretty meta if you ask me.
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Jan 16, 2015 17:06
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Moridin920 posted:uh because I get to kill 10 minutes taking a poo poo and also I get paid for it? Agreed. If you aren't pooping at work while getting paid, then you are literally paying money to poop at home.
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Jan 16, 2015 17:08
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take 15 minute shits once an hour and if the boss tries to give you hell tell him you have a medical condition
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Jan 16, 2015 17:09
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Tony Homo posted:I can't pee with a boner. Pee first, then pornhub.com it's not like you have to pee a 2nd time.
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Jan 16, 2015 17:10
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toggle posted:i have a dude at work that wants to have a chat in the toilet. doesn't matter what is happening in there. there is poo poo smell in the air and the guy wants to talk about jet skiing. toilet chat. fuckin hate it when some idiot wants to talk to me in the crapper gently caress off jackass this is not social hour I'm doing some bowel business here
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Jan 16, 2015 17:18
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I work on the third floor and routinely see guys from either the second or the first floor come upstairs just to use the shitter. Why wouldn't they want to poop with their colleagues?
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Jan 16, 2015 17:29
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How is it that the Indian dudes manage to always get poop on the rear wall of the shitter Are their colons angled outwards or what
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Jan 16, 2015 17:31
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ElGroucho posted:How is it that the Indian dudes manage to always get poop on the rear wall of the shitter how do you know it's Indians...?
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Jan 16, 2015 17:37
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hubris.height posted:what are good websites to visit while on the throne. there is something cooking up in my bowels and the coffee pot is empty so it's gonna be a long one. looking at dank reddit memes won't cut it tia for your advice I like to Tinder on the can. That way I'm getting paid to poo poo and objectify women at the same time!
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Jan 16, 2015 17:38
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gnarlyhotep posted:how do you know it's Indians...? There are only two stalls here, I've entered immediately after them too many times for it to be a coincidence
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Jan 16, 2015 17:39
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ElGroucho posted:There are only two stalls here, I've entered immediately after them too many times for it to be a coincidence so they actually get poo poo on the wall? that is pretty gross
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Jan 16, 2015 17:42
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gnarlyhotep posted:so they actually get poo poo on the wall? Nah, check it out 
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Jan 16, 2015 17:48
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ElGroucho posted:Nah, check it out oh, you mean back of the bowl well, yeah that's a little weird
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Jan 16, 2015 17:48
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Maybe it's just one dude who's coccyx exploded and made a new exit
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Jan 16, 2015 17:51
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I will only poop in the high-flow toilet in the main lobby. No possibility of streaks or clogged plumbing. And a nice breeze on my b-hole.
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Jan 16, 2015 17:53
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took a big poop at work last night NICE
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Jan 16, 2015 18:00
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ElGroucho posted:How is it that the Indian dudes manage to always get poop on the rear wall of the shitter they must be squatting over the toilet, directing their poop backwards and blowing it out with curry propellant
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Jan 16, 2015 18:02
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