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a7m2
Jul 9, 2012


smooth jazz posted:

I heard about Haier and his clingy chinese hillbilly relationships but this is ridiculous.

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wedgie deliverer
Oct 2, 2010

Bloodnose posted:

China has a few superrich lady businessmen and in contrast with the men who are rent-seeking land developers or tech people who copied silicon valley poo poo after the government blocked it, they tend to be clever self-made tycoons.

The Recycling Queen was the richest woman in the world for a while.

My aunt is one of these ladies. Very shrewd, hardworking (at one point owned a business while also holding down a mid level executive position in another) and just a little batshit. She's very nice to me, but always talked poo poo on my dad for emigrating and also trying to convince me to come live with her and all her riches.

At the same time, she is the unquestioned matriarch and primary breadwinner for my family over there and is a badass.

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax

smooth jazz posted:

Over the years I've met many Mainland Chinese and some have become good friends.

What I'd like to know is, why does every single male I meet have crippling halitosis?

It doesn't seem to affect the ladies for some reason only the guys.

I refuse to believe that 5000 years of civilization hasn't been able to figure out that paint stripping bad breath is unattractive but this seems to be the case.

Before you answer 'no why,' is there a way to broach this subject tactfully?

I brought this up like 10 pages back, but it's one of the first thing non-Chinese tend to notice about Chinese. My theory is poor tooth brushing, heavy smoking, high garlic and onion and oil and salt consumption, tea, and not drinking enough water (I met so many people who drink like two cups of water per 24 hours, which is actually a major cause of poo poo breath), and whatever else they consume all leads to dehydration and funky stink.

The only way I approach it is to directly tell them. They can't and won't do anything about it, but it's just nice to make them self-conscious. Chinese have no filter when they speak, and often tell each other poo poo that would get them slapped or "unfriended" in the West. They might get a hurt by your directness, but it's okay, because they'll do it to you at some point anyway. If it's bad and they are close, I pull back and wave the air in front of me, and when they stop and ask why I say "your breath stinks." If I don't want to offend, I give them water and ask them to drink as much as possible. It sucks having to carry gum for other people, but if you don't want to smell someone's stomach contents when hanging out with them, you have to.

Being on a crowded bus is horrible, because it's like 50 open bags of manure with fans over them pointed at your nose.

I have no tolerance. I used to try the Western manners of tolerating it and pretending it wasn't there, but at some point it just broke me and I was tired of my eyes watering and stomach turning.



etalian posted:

Haier travelled thousands of miles to just get laid by chinese hillbillies.

Okay, I've gone from Chinese MILF Hunter to Hillbilly Lady Plunger in this thread. God drat it.


Ooh that uniform so scandalous
And you know another nige can't handle it
So you shakin that assembly line like who's the ish
With a look in yer single eye-lids so devilish
Uh

You like to dance on the hot pot spots
And you stand on the bus to connect the dots
Not just hometown province, she like the pop
'Cause she was 'Livin' La Vida Loca'

She worked in dumps on a truck, truck, truck
Eating chicken thighs like what, what, what
Baby, cut open those pants so we can see your butt, butt, butt
I think I'll sing it again
She had teeth like a truck, truck, truck
Fat thighs what, what, what
All night long
Let me see that nong

A FESTIVE SKELETON
Oct 2, 2011

TIS THE SEASON BITCH

Haier posted:

Hillbilly Lady Plunger

ranbo das
Oct 16, 2013


Riptor posted:

what tiny backwater town do you live in where this is possible

Boston.

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

Haier posted:

Okay, I've gone from Chinese MILF Hunter to Hillbilly Lady Plunger in this thread. God drat it.

Hillbilly Lady Plunger would be a rad forum name

Grand Prize Winner
Feb 19, 2007


etalian posted:

Hillbilly Lady Plunger would be a rad forum name

mods namechange please

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse

Haier posted:

Okay, I've gone from Chinese MILF Hunter to Hillbilly Lady Plunger in this thread. God drat it.

Namechange please.

serious norman
Dec 13, 2007

im pickle rick!!!!

ranbo das posted:

I just had my first run-in with someone from mainland china over in the good old US of A. I was working out on one of the machines in my apartment's gym today when I hear the door open and close, and next thing i know there's a little kid (he must have been like 2) playing "stick your hand in between the plates of my machine and try not to get your arm crushed" right beside me. For those who dont know the setup is something like this

I'm loving dumbfounded because what the gently caress, and I turn and its some old asian lady who came in with her kid/grandson. When I told her she cant have her kid in the loving gym, she just laughs. I just kinda stare at her and repeat myself and she laughs again, goes yes yes and then walks over to the kid, who is now dancing behind a girl who is on one of the treadmills and starts dancing with him.At this point I'm in full what the gently caress mode so I go to the front desk to get someone to kick her out because holy poo poo. When I get to the front desk I say "There's this woman" and the guy immediately knows who I'm talking about and hops on the elevator with me. Apparently she's visiting relatives and is from China, and has been terrorizing the apartment complex all day. When we get there the kid is throwing exercise balls around the gym and the woman is cheering him on. Needless to say they get kicked out immediately.

Earlier she had apparently had the kid playing on the steps (old building, solid marble steps in the lobby with a marble floor and this kid has no coordination) and he had to yell at her to stop, then she went to where to computer center was and she let him pound on the keyboards and apparently lifted him up so he could dance on one because he liked the clicking noise the keys made. I was hoping there was some story about him pissing on the floors but no dice.

gey

Tuxedo Gin
May 21, 2003

Classy.

quote:

odd thing happened when movers came to box up Ruth Kirchner's furnishings as she was preparing to return to Berlin after a decade in China. The chief packer made a beeline for the German journalist's globe to see whether it was politically correct.

"Where's Taiwan?" he asked, checking whether the island — which has de facto independence but which China's communist leaders regard as a breakaway province — was rendered in a different color than the mainland. Next he demanded: "Where are the Diaoyu islands?" referring to uninhabited specks of land long administered by Japan but claimed by China.

"I said, 'Oh, come on, man, the Diaoyu islands are too insignificant to be shown on a globe,'" Kirchner recalled of the summer incident.

Finally, the packer picked up a road atlas of Britain and asked where Taiwan was. "I said, 'That's a road map of England; there is no Taiwan in there!'" Kirchner said. Satisfied, the packers completed the job; Kirchner flew back to Europe.

"I didn't really think about it much; I thought he was just a bit strange," she said.

Weeks later, though, Kirchner's moving company called to say that customs authorities inspecting her shipment found a book that included an objectionable Taiwan map. Kirchner had to sign a form saying she was "voluntarily" abandoning the book — "The Opium War," by Julia Lovell — even though she had bought it in Beijing. (The title recently has been taken off shelves in the city because of the map issue, booksellers say.)

"I sort of laugh about it, but I find it rather sad that they get so worked up about something so insignificant," said Kirchner, adding that the controversy resulted in a monthlong delay for her entire shipment. "For one thing, I was taking things out of China, not in. And I brought lots of stuff in [that was presumably more sensitive] and they never seemed to care."

In the last year, China has significantly stepped up border controls to prevent the import of banned materials, particularly Chinese-language books published in free-speech havens such as Hong Kong and Taiwan. But less well known are efforts by Chinese authorities to confiscate books, maps, globes, DVDs and any printed material they deem objectionable from people departing the mainland.

The extent of the effort remains unclear, but interviews with multiple moving companies in Beijing and more than a dozen foreigners who have left Beijing since 2013 indicate the practice has intensified. The confiscations suggest a growing sensitivity toward any printed or audiovisual material that bears even the slightest whiff of deviation from the party line on territorial issues.


lol

MonkeyHate
Oct 11, 2002

Dance, monkey, dance!
Taco Defender
Just had a odd Chinese Tourist experience. My wife and I were in line behind a Chinese tour group at the London eye. Boarding works like this: the wheel rotates slowly enough that you are expected to get on and off while the capsules are in motion. The doors open, the previous group jumps off and the attendants start frantically waving you in. Capsules seemed to hold around 20 people. When it was their turn to start filling carriages, eight or nine of that group jumped on and the other 10 or so just stood and stared. The attendants immediately gave up and started gesturing at us instead. We went around and jumped on with a few other families.

I thought us lucky as ours had like half the number of people as I'd seen loaded into previous carriages. However, the Chinese group monopolized the best viewing spots for the whole half hour. A mother and daughter stood next to each other and each silently trained identical cameras on Big Ben, literally filming it nonstop for the entire trip. A couple of others stared out the window looking bored. The rest mostly stood or sat unmoving with their backs against the glass fiddling with phones/tablets or yelling at each other. None looked happy to be there or interested in the view. One older lady mostly seemed interested in taking pictures of my son.

As we were approaching the end of the ride, one couple started unpacking food and laying out snacks on the big central bench. Minutes later we were all being herded off the capsule while they were still sitting and eating. I heard the attendants yelling at them but can't imagine they would have had time to gather their poo poo and get off. They didn't stop the wheel so for all I know they ride it still.

raton
Jul 28, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
Wanna see a bony Chinese rear end appear as the doors to a London Eye pod slide open, slowly making GBS threads, the other podmates exiting to the left and right of him in some disorganized lazy manner, as his poo poo drags out across the whole platform and no one bothers to try to get on and the staff literally put their hands in their pockets and look away.

Data Graham
Dec 28, 2009

📈📊🍪😋



Haier posted:

The only way I approach it is to directly tell them. They can't and won't do anything about it, but it's just nice to make them self-conscious. Chinese have no filter when they speak, and often tell each other poo poo that would get them slapped or "unfriended" in the West. They might get a hurt by your directness, but it's okay, because they'll do it to you at some point anyway. If it's bad and they are close, I pull back and wave the air in front of me, and when they stop and ask why I say "your breath stinks." If I don't want to offend, I give them water and ask them to drink as much as possible. It sucks having to carry gum for other people, but if you don't want to smell someone's stomach contents when hanging out with them, you have to.

Wait, hold the phone


They really asked you a "why" question? :monocle:

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


smooth jazz posted:

I refuse to believe that 5000 years of civilization hasn't been able to figure out that paint stripping bad breath is unattractive but this seems to be the case.

Hygiene is relatively new. Tooth brushing doesn't seem to be that common and a lot of people don't shower much either. Asian people believe they have no body odor so clearly the awful stench in enclosed environments is just in your head.


Students will immediately ask "Where is China?" upon seeing any map. A friend asked me what book I was reading and I told her it was about medieval England, and she asked what it said about China. I told her it said nothing because it is about medieval England. Then she said it wasn't interesting since it wasn't about China.

Grand Fromage fucked around with this message at 23:52 on Oct 26, 2015

Kopijeger
Feb 14, 2010

MonkeyHate posted:

Just had a odd Chinese Tourist experience.

Seems relatively tame, what with no making GBS threads on the floor and no attempts to open the door while far above ground.


Grand Fromage posted:

Students will immediately ask "Where is China?" upon seeing any map. A friend asked me what book I was reading and I told her it was about medieval England, and she asked what it said about China. I told her it said nothing because it is about medieval England. Then she said it wasn't interesting since it wasn't about China.

Any other countries where they do that?

P-Mack
Nov 10, 2007

Somebody in one of these threads related a story about a globe in Korea that had a sticker placed over it to replace "Sea of Japan" with "East Sea," and also make Korea bigger and Japan smaller.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
Americans do the same thing except with Israel.

cinci zoo sniper
Mar 15, 2013




Jumpingmanjim posted:

Americans do the same thing except with Israel.
So there's a giant Israel next to a Liberty Sea?

Blistex
Oct 30, 2003

Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler

hi liter posted:

My aunt is one of these ladies. Very shrewd, hardworking (at one point owned a business while also holding down a mid level executive position in another) and just a little batshit. She's very nice to me, but always talked poo poo on my dad for emigrating and also trying to convince me to come live with her and all her riches.

At the same time, she is the unquestioned matriarch and primary breadwinner for my family over there and is a badass.

I'm going to guess living under her rule is probably as close as you can get to torture without having to break out the dental tools.

syscall girl
Nov 7, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe

kalstrams posted:

So there's a giant Israel next to a Liberty Sea?

Yes, and when in Israel visit the Freedom Forest for delicious olives, watered with Palestinian tears.

smooth jazz
May 13, 2010

So was that guy blocking the tanks in Tianamen Square just trying to cut in line?

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008

smooth jazz posted:

So was that guy blocking the tanks in Tianamen Square just trying to cut in line?

What was in those plastic bags he was carrying? :itwaspoo:

smooth jazz
May 13, 2010

Jumpingmanjim posted:

What was in those plastic bags he was carrying? :itwaspoo:

Pringles, Kinder Bueno, milk powder and a Japanese rice cooker.

etalian
Mar 20, 2006


The greatest superpower in the world is pretty drat insecure

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRrV1ff33iM

Fojar38
Sep 2, 2011


Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia


also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->
the us navy just sailed within 12 miles of the scs islands so expect lots of internet meltdowns and deer-in-the-headlights conduct from the ccp

syscall girl
Nov 7, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe

Fojar38 posted:

the us navy just sailed within 12 miles of the scs islands so expect lots of internet meltdowns and deer-in-the-headlights conduct from the ccp

normally I would cheer against china trying to take everything in sight in a really childish way but this just reeks of the U.S. military industrial complex trying to churn some more cash

Fojar38
Sep 2, 2011


Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia


also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

syscall girl posted:

normally I would cheer against china trying to take everything in sight in a really childish way but this just reeks of the U.S. military industrial complex trying to churn some more cash

its to establish that the us does not recognize chinas artificial islands as sovereign territory

to do otherwise is tacit support of the nine dash line so no it has nothing to do with the military industrial complex and everything to do with calling china's bluff

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008

Fojar38 posted:

the us navy just sailed within 12 miles of the scs islands so expect lots of internet meltdowns and deer-in-the-headlights conduct from the ccp

Don't worry the People's Liberation Army Navy is on the way to intercept them:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM65JpsvN5M

7 RING SHRIMP
Oct 3, 2012

Jumpingmanjim posted:

Don't worry the People's Liberation Army Navy is on the way to intercept them:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM65JpsvN5M

MORE

syscall girl
Nov 7, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe

Fojar38 posted:

its to establish that the us does not recognize chinas artificial islands as sovereign territory

to do otherwise is tacit support of the nine dash line so no it has nothing to do with the military industrial complex and everything to do with calling china's bluff

i get that no one wants to acknowledge their pushy bullshit but whipping out dicks to start another conflict is just stupid

Fojar38
Sep 2, 2011


Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia


also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

syscall girl posted:

i get that no one wants to acknowledge their pushy bullshit but whipping out dicks to start another conflict is just stupid

lol yes the us is the pushy party here and not china, which is literally declaring de-facto sovereignty over the entire south china sea

syscall girl
Nov 7, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe

Fojar38 posted:

lol yes the us is the pushy party here and not china, which is literally declaring de-facto sovereignty over the entire south china sea

I'm saying it's the MIC starting poo poo and being team America world police.

Whether it's right or wrong the U.S. probably has its motives in the wrong place

Obviously China is in the wrong trying to push out its borders like that but can't we all be wrong?

Fojar38
Sep 2, 2011


Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia


also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

syscall girl posted:

I'm saying it's the MIC starting poo poo and being team America world police.

you realize that basically every single one of china's neighbours has been begging for a greater US presence and for the China's bs to be called out

i mean you can argue that we should ignore them but acting like the usa is acting unilaterally and solely for its own interests here is false

quote:

Obviously China is in the wrong trying to push out its borders like that but can't we all be wrong?

this is the east asian equivilent of "obviously russia was wrong to invade ukraine but cant we all be wrong?" the sole saving grace being that the SCS doesn't have people living there

syscall girl
Nov 7, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe
I don't believe in interventionism because I've seen it fail so much, but I also don't side with China on this

I guess that makes me Neville Chamberlain

drat, Neville is a stupid name :negative:

Telsa Cola
Aug 19, 2011

No... this is all wrong... this whole operation has just gone completely sidewaysface

syscall girl posted:

i get that no one wants to acknowledge their pushy bullshit but whipping out dicks to start another conflict is just stupid

China does not have much to whip out (in more than one way).

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax

Grand Fromage posted:

A friend asked me what book I was reading and I told her it was about medieval England, and she asked what it said about China. I told her it said nothing because it is about medieval England. Then she said it wasn't interesting since it wasn't about China.

Every single time I get a message asking me what I am doing, and I am watching a TV show or movie I downloaded (or Netflix with the VPN), I get asked if it's Chinese. When I say no, I am asked why don't I watch Chinese TV or movies. I say it's because I don't speak Chinese and the shows look dumb as hell. Then I am met with "I see." Some of these people have known me almost a year, and they still ask every time I reply saying I'm watching something. No, I'm sitting here watching that dumb talent show where some guy dances for three judges and they all green-light him because no one wants to hurt anyone's feelings and this is the epitome of entertainment.

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax

syscall girl posted:

i get that no one wants to acknowledge their pushy bullshit but whipping out dicks to start another conflict is just stupid

Can we be sure these dicks are actually whipped?

syscall girl
Nov 7, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe
I was under the apprehension that the PRC was a nuclear power

Unless there is a lot of genocide going on I don't give a gently caress about territory disputes and oil and gas claims

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syscall girl
Nov 7, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe
I mean, it's a country of street shitters, who wants to see how accurate their ICBMs are?

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