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Flesh Forge posted:Why don't you just eat all the apples, sure you'd have the shits for a few days but you'd be super smart and really healthy god only commands adam not to eat the apples, hiding them or burning them is perfectly fine within the letter of the rules. if he ate them he would still drat humanity with eternal sin, but just hiding them catches god in a theological loophole
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Nov 27, 2015 06:40
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They may not have figured out germ theory or gene theory or atomic theory but they could sure as hell spot a beta male a mile away so no one ITT would change anything because no one would listen to your goony rear end just like they don't in 2015
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Nov 27, 2015 06:42
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Rutibex posted:god only commands adam not to eat the apples, hiding them or burning them is perfectly fine within the letter of the rules. if he ate them he would still drat humanity with eternal sin, but just hiding them catches god in a theological loophole Well yeah he commands Adam not to eat the apples but God didn't say anything about forums user ghlbtsk did he!
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Nov 27, 2015 06:42
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Any goon would just get his rear end beat within 24 hours but it's funny to read how y'all think you could change the course of history or stop Christianity from spreading (lol like that would be a good thing) or even further, trick God himself with your extensive knowledge of wikihow
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Nov 27, 2015 06:45
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Commie NedFlanders posted:They may not have figured out germ theory or gene theory or atomic theory but they could sure as hell spot a beta male a mile away so no one ITT would change anything because no one would listen to your goony rear end just like they don't in 2015 actually funny enough they figured out atomic theory: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Democritus#Atomic_hypothesis
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Nov 27, 2015 06:45
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Like people think because they got a B- in calculus that they could introduce advanced mathematics to 1AD Rome. You would just be laughed out of the building with your stupid made up math with numbers and ideas that don't exist or make any sense whatsoever. Unless you can single handedly derive the entirety of proofs and theorems up to and including Pricipia Mathematica, no one would or should listen to a word you are blubbering about and they would rightfully throw you in a lions den for corrupting the youth with subversive BS ideas that make no drat sense or better yet just whoop your rear end and toss you in a chicken coop where you belong
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Nov 27, 2015 06:51
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Rutibex posted:actually funny enough they figured out atomic theory: Yeah and theoretical phycisists still haven't caught up to Parmenides, but regardless, a goon is still a goon
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Nov 27, 2015 06:56
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Commie NedFlanders posted:it's funny to read how y'all think you could change the course of history or stop Christianity from spreading (lol like that would be a good thing)
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Nov 27, 2015 07:09
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I would introduce the pot still and get loving wasted off my rear end until I died
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Nov 27, 2015 07:11
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Lmbo goon_history_smdh.jpg 
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Nov 27, 2015 07:29
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shut the gently caress up you dipshit
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Nov 27, 2015 07:32
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yes i would communicate my knowledge of the world in modern english which everyone will be familiar with
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Nov 27, 2015 07:45
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monotheists are the spiritual autists of history who work diligently to get all items except chicken tendys removed from the world cafeteria
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Nov 27, 2015 07:49
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The most retarded anti-religion thing is people who complain about monotheism
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Nov 27, 2015 07:49
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Write the smash hit song tonight we're gonna part like its 99
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Nov 27, 2015 07:50
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i would attend the sackings of great cities and carry off the statues of their gods bc u put them in ur house and treat them nice and get their power *holds up cupcake to odin's mouth, makes omnom sounds*
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Nov 27, 2015 07:54
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Commie NedFlanders posted:Like people think because they got a B- in calculus that they could introduce advanced mathematics to 1AD Rome. Lol that you think you're cool by taking everyone down a notch in a thread about time travel. Lol at being so into the same fantasy everyone's riffing on you have to chastise them for their ideas about time traveling. Just lol. Stay safe, poverty ghost.
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Nov 27, 2015 07:58
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Id teach people to make cars that move at walking speed, but id also teach them to walk at car speed.
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Nov 27, 2015 08:03
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Architecture would have to be changed dramatically because people couldnt navigate their houses at 60mph, they also couldn't get very far on the highway at a walking pace in their cars.
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Nov 27, 2015 08:04
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yeah i loved those guys, this seems like a perfect show
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Nov 27, 2015 08:52
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Stay safe poverty ghost! I'd introduce the printing press and maybe pasteurization and that's about it. Maybe some odd mathematical proofs that I remember. If I can bring stuff back with me I'd bring back some fruits and vegetables they didn't have back then and be like some crazy rear end god of the loving harvest.
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Nov 27, 2015 08:57
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Honest to God this is an interesting idea for a Sci-Fi novel. That jackass who wrote "The Martian" should have explored the premise of this thread rather than that super goony boring autistic poo poo he came up with for that lame book
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Nov 27, 2015 09:02
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RaySmuckles posted:Lol that you think you're cool by taking everyone down a notch in a thread about time travel. Lol at being so into the same fantasy everyone's riffing on you have to chastise them for their ideas about time traveling. Just lol. Lol
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Nov 27, 2015 09:06
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Santization techniques and yearly school are fine educational programs. Onward, very educated regions tending yearly gatherings helping other struggling territories.
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Nov 27, 2015 09:15
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As someone else said everyone in the past-times were small so I'd basically be Hodor and carry around cripples. But if booze was only like, 1% what's the point? Lemme go to the future where it's all 10% instead.
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Nov 27, 2015 14:32
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I'd impress them with my amazing magic like for example pulling my thumb apart
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Nov 27, 2015 14:46
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Don't worry it's just a trick I just folded my thumb
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Nov 27, 2015 14:46
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Maybe rape a young Jesus. It would gently caress him up a little and screw up his teachings so Christianity might take a slightly different course. Of course maybe a young Jesus was raped.....
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Nov 27, 2015 14:46
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Rutibex posted:actually funny enough they figured out atomic theory: That's not quite atomic theory.
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Nov 27, 2015 15:37
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Jack off into the primordial soup
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Nov 27, 2015 15:40
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I'd smother baby Jesus. Problem solved.Isaac posted:I travel to 1AD japan and become apprentice to a master calligrapher who is trying to invent sexy drawings to jack off to. Together, Animesu Mangaru and I change the course of history. Sorry to burst your bubble but Japanese as a written language didn't exist then. Infidel Castro fucked around with this message at 15:50 on Nov 27, 2015 |
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Nov 27, 2015 15:47
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Go around asking people what year it is and when they tell you, correct them by saying "no, it is in fact the year 1". IMPORTANT: be all smug about it
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Nov 27, 2015 15:57
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They wouldn't understand the languages I speak so probably not too far, but I would do my best to impart the knowledge of Poverty Ghost and the desire to keep him safe.
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Nov 27, 2015 16:02
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Flesh Forge posted:Well yeah he commands Adam not to eat the apples but God didn't say anything about forums user ghlbtsk did he! plus i'd be commemorated in the first chapter of the bible as some sort of narrative-disrupting trickster imp with a confusing and unpronounceable name
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Nov 27, 2015 16:04
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I think i could make a lovely steam engine. Not sure how i'd get them to let me though, does being fit and healthy and not having a face covered in scars from disease give you any cred?
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Nov 27, 2015 16:07
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CJ posted:I think i could make a lovely steam engine. Not sure how i'd get them to let me though, does being fit and healthy and not having a face covered in scars from disease give you any cred? Definitely does! You'll be the Bishop's head concubine!
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Nov 27, 2015 16:11
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i would just be pissed i had no nternet
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Nov 27, 2015 16:13
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starry skies above posted:Honest to God this is an interesting idea for a Sci-Fi novel. there is a good Sci-Fi novel series about this exact thing, except instead of one person it is the entire island of nantucket, and instead of 1AD its 1300 BC. kind of like "under the dome" meets this thread. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Island_in_the_Sea_of_Time
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Nov 27, 2015 16:20
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SHISHKABOB posted:That's not quite atomic theory. its a hell of a lot closer than earth/fire/air/water  it's not like we understand how atoms work exactly either
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Nov 27, 2015 16:22
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I would claim to be the prophet Mohammad and make Islam way less awful. Maybe teach them about lap dances and how to make Bourbon so their lovely little corner of the world wouldn't be so goddamed awful in 2000 years
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Nov 27, 2015 16:25
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