Doobiepedia posted:

- Goons laugh at hilariously underfunded Doobie's Hot Dog Stand Kickstarter. The only donation was from his wife, Tasha. It's not discovered until long after that much of his writing is plagiarized.

- Somehow, the attention to Doobie's turns from ironic to sincere. It's hard to say how or why this happened. Some goons were convinced that Doobie already had a successful dog cart and that he had an in with the local truckers.

- Goons decide to overfund Doobie, and feel way too good about themselves in the process.

- Doobie is a dim 45 year old Southerner who has no clue where the gently caress this sudden funding is coming from. Looking back we don't really know much about Doobie. Some say was once a long haul trucker that became a sewer worker. Some claim he was already running a hot dog cart before the Kickstarter but there appears to be no evidence.

- Soundmonkey organizes the Kickstarter funding and gets way too involved trying to help Doobie. Goons continue to pump donations in and condescend to Doobie by saying how cute his little hot dog dream is. Goons think they're going to affect the economy of poor Reform, AL by helping fund a hot dog stand. One goon cancels Christmas to give it all to Doob.

- Goons tell him they're "Team Frog Out" because of some trivial obsession with a stuffed frog from a porn picture. Doobie agrees to make a "Frog Dog" in honor of donating goons, and even agrees to paint a giant frog on the side of the building. It's now a lame vanity project for goons, but Soundmonkey still insists it's sincere and tries way too hard to work with Doobie. People who criticize are probated or banned.

- The Kickstarter campaign closes out at $14,000. Kickstarter gets its share and some people don’t pay up but Doobie still gets around $10K.

- Doobie’s original plan was to buy a prefab storage building, with no plumbing or electricity, and drop it in the parking lot of a local antique/junk store. Like other important information about his business plan this is buried somewhere in the updates for the Kickstarter. Now flush with cash he decides to open a full-blown restaurant and rents a pillbox-looking bunker sight unseen.

- At some point after he's funded, Doobie gives a bunch of money to some random woman who couldn't pay her bills, because he didn't want "them babies being cold." Goons who are facebook friends with Doobie begin noticing racist and homophobic leanings.

- Doobie finds out he's required to have a vent hood installed, which costs of thousands of dollars. Despite $10K from his Kickstarter he is already out of money. He’s bought loads of equipment and he's paying rent and utilities for it to sit in a building that’s nowhere near functioning as a restaurant.

- Doobie starts ANOTHER Kickstarter for the vent hood. This is when even the generous goons turned on him. Few donate and Doobie cancels it himself hours before its scheduled end.

- Doobie sells his boat and manages to get a loan (despite being denied one before when trying to use 1000 twitter followers as evidence of good credit). The vent hood is installed and Doobie manages to open the Dog House.

- Doobie's Dog House opens in April, 2014. Having no idea what working in a restaurant is like, Doobie initially thinks he can close at 3pm to avoid working late. Over a year later he still closes for holidays that would be great for a hot dog business, like July 4th. Doobie has also closed several times because he ran out of food, blaming his delivery driver.

- Doobie celebrates beating the odds and being open for over a year by mentioning the big anniversary on facebook, sort of asking for ideas for what to do, and then doing nothing.

- In November of 2015 Doobie attempts full-service breakfast. This time he puts in more effort than just reselling donuts but again fails. After giving up he attempts to sell fixtures and opened food on facebook. Shifting his hours earlier for breakfast may have been another attempt end his work day by 5pm.

-Doobie rents garage space across the road from the shack and starts a new business doing oil changes and light repairs. In November of 2015 West Alabama Automotive opens.

- Doobie's Diner and West Alabama Automotive both close in January of 2016. Doobie claims that a funeral home is moving in next door and that his building will be torn down to build a parking lot. He claims business is booming but closes within days and apparently before even being given a move-out date. Doobie probably never had any sort of lease, much less one that would give him options to extend or ways to recover his investment in the building. Doobie begins selling off fixtures and leftover food.

- Doobie and Tasha have a meltdown on facebook and twitter. They make accusations and threats toward Froggers and Something Awful, confusing friends and customers who know nothing about either. The facebook pages soon get deleted but Doobie's twitter remains.

Chinatown posted:

The Twinkie Czar posted:

I wouldn't even call it a southern thing, it happens in lots of places and situations. Barbershops are the classic example. It's just so insane to tweet about voluntary segregation with no context or reference to what he's trying to address. I guess he's responding to this and saying that it's not Skelton Funeral Home that's putting a parking lot on the site of Doobie's but another, black funeral home. Anyone else who sees that twitter won't know what the hell to think.

For the uninitiated, here's a Doobie's Doghouse Summary:


And because the Kids!!! wanted it, I started a page of the stupidest poo poo goons said about all this.

Shaquin posted:

they probly like seperate funeral homes because ex confederate scientists kept trying to make black frankensteins or something im not a historian but i know a thing or two about frankensteins

Otisburg posted:

actually if you read mary shelly's original book you'll see that frankenstein wasn't the monster, it was the name of the doctor

*pushes up glasses, never ever touches a real boob*

Aesop Poprock posted:

Would a Frankenstein boob count as a real one

Shaquin posted:

they probly like seperate funeral homes because ex confederate scientists kept trying to make black frankensteins or something im not a historian but i know a thing or two about frankensteins

Razorwired posted:

Not Frankensteins. But they have experimented on black cadavers without consulting or informing the family of the deceased.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henrietta_Lacks

Otisburg posted:

actually if you read mary shelly's original book you'll see that frankenstein wasn't the monster, it was the name of the doctor

*pushes up glasses, never ever touches a real boob*

Drunkboxer posted:

she wasn't dead when they took the cell swabs, so not really, and they really weren't experimenting on her.

Razorwired posted:

Oh drat I guess I'll have to link two things for my dumb gibbis joke.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medical_Apartheid

Drunkboxer posted:

Yeah that unrelated second Wikipedia link sure does cover your half assed popular science based opinions. Maybe someday someone will write a book about all the other human cell lines and you can be outraged about that. Maybe they'll look at the dozens of bacterial lines taken from long dead patients, and you can get outraged third hand about those nameless cholera patients, provided the book gets wide enough exposure in the press for you to make a "joke". I look forward to your next hilarious Wikipedia link joke.

Drunkboxer posted:

she wasn't dead when they took the cell swabs, so not really, and they really weren't experimenting on her.

ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:

"During her radiation treatments for the tumor, two samples of Henrietta's cervix were removed—a healthy part and a cancerous part—without her permission."

more than cell swabs, and they were taken without the patient's permission

big loving no no

Monstrous Dooklord posted:

I lost the tip of my dick in the last Wiener Wars

LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:

i know we've moved past, but drat, look at this. so little dog, so much slaw. it's a kludge, but i'd prefer they put two dogs in the bun if they can't get one dog big enough.

Razorwired posted:

Oh drat I guess I'll have to link two things for my dumb gibbis joke.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medical_Apartheid

Carmant posted:

You can get 2 dogs for a buck at Sheetz

Morglon posted:

That's your own fault, your bun was only protecting half of it

The Twinkie Czar posted:

And because the Kids!!! wanted it, I started a page of the stupidest poo poo goons said about all this.

Drunk Nerds posted:

When did Doobies Twitter admit the restaurant failed?

See mods? When you dont allow doobie thread, critical information can slip through unnoticed

The Twinkie Czar posted:

Alright, Doobie admitting failure on twitter was fake

The Twinkie Czar posted:

And because the Kids!!! wanted it, I started a page of the stupidest poo poo goons said about all this.

Rambling Robot posted:

will doobie vote for trump?

now we'll never know.

Melmac posted:

Literally the 2nd tweet in lol

Melmac posted:

Literally the 2nd tweet in lol

Chomp8645 posted:

Doobies was in an inside job.

The funeral home was a ruse masterminded by Franco.

Melmac posted:

Literally the 2nd tweet in lol

Nooner posted:

impossible, that would mean Franco was actually capable of doing something funny

Grody posted:

It would appear that Burger King has gotten into the hot dog game

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/burger-king-hot-dogs-7-eleven-wiener-war/

"Burger King's move to add hot dogs to its menu is touching off a "wiener war."

With grilled Oscar Mayer wieners now being sold at the Home of the Whopper's 12,000 U.S. locations, long-time hot dog purveyors Checkers, Rally's and 7-Eleven are defending their turf."


Poor Doobster he never stood a chance in the weiner war. RIP slaw dawg