AFL 2016 - May The Fyfe Be With You - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > AFL 2016 - May The Fyfe Be With You

«‹›516 »

Solemn Sloth: Jul 11, 2015; Baby you can shout at me,
But you can't need my eyes.

Yes! No longer the worst attacking side!

# ? Mar 30, 2016 08:30

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 7, 2024 07:09

Testekill: Nov 1, 2012; I demand to be taken seriously

Sounds like Lachie Hunter re-signing is pretty much imminent.

edit: It also is starting to sound like Swan is pretty much no chance of returning this year based on this article.

http://www.afl.com.au/news/2016-03-30/swans-foot-injury-like-a-car-crash-says-sports-medico

Testekill fucked around with this message at 09:14 on Mar 30, 2016

# ? Mar 30, 2016 09:08

Testekill: Nov 1, 2012; I demand to be taken seriously

Now stop me if you've heard this one before but Nathan Vardy has injured himself and is out for 6 weeks. Guy has zero luck keeping himself injury free

# ? Mar 30, 2016 09:51

Solemn Sloth: Jul 11, 2015; Baby you can shout at me,
But you can't need my eyes.

Talia has done a Lisfranc injury

Click here to find out which one

# ? Mar 30, 2016 10:15

Testekill: Nov 1, 2012; I demand to be taken seriously

Solemn Sloth posted:

Talia has done a Lisfranc injury

Click here to find out which one

I'd say "and nothing of value was lost" but Sydney has sweet gently caress all healthy key defenders on their list so it does hurt them pretty badly.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 10:19

NTRabbit: Aug 15, 2012; i wear this armour to protect myself from the histrionics of hysterical women

bitches

Solemn Sloth posted:

Talia has done a Lisfranc injury

Click here to find out which one

Jeebas, put a first name in front of that, give a man a loving heart attack

# ? Mar 30, 2016 11:12

drunkill: Sep 25, 2007; me @ ur posting; Fallen Rib

I hope Franklin drops something on his foot during the week and misses this weekend, hell, most of the Sydney team do this please, or get a cold etc.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 11:12

gay picnic defence: Oct 5, 2009; I'M CONCERNED ABOUT A NUMBER OF THINGS

Solemn Sloth posted:

Talia has done a Lisfranc injury

Click here to find out which one

Seems to be a few of those injuries getting around. I wonder if there has actually been an increase or if they're just getting more attention these days.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 12:56

aejix: Sep 18, 2007; It's about finding that next group of core players we can win with in the next 6, 8, 10 years. Let's face it, it's hard for 20-, 21-, 22-year-olds to lead an NHL team. Look at the playoffs.

That quote is from fucking 2018. Fuck you Jim; Pillbug

Have there been any pectoral tear injuries in afl? I'd never heard of one of those until the last couple of years in the NRL. Maybe a lisfranc injury is the corresponding injury in afl

# ? Mar 30, 2016 14:35

Solemn Sloth: Jul 11, 2015; Baby you can shout at me,
But you can't need my eyes.

aejix posted:

Have there been any pectoral tear injuries in afl? I'd never heard of one of those until the last couple of years in the NRL. Maybe a lisfranc injury is the corresponding injury in afl

I think Gibbs did his pec? Sounds way painful thinking about it

# ? Mar 30, 2016 14:41

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

lisfrancs are kind of a freak injury though. i don't know if i've ever seen someones leg crumple like swans did.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 14:45

snaeksikn: Feb 28, 2010

aejix posted:

Have there been any pectoral tear injuries in afl? I'd never heard of one of those until the last couple of years in the NRL. Maybe a lisfranc injury is the corresponding injury in afl

eagles youngster dom sheed tore his pec at the end of the pre-season, and port's matt white was just confirmed to have a complete tear in one of his today. which is strange because thats also a rare injury within afl.

the most common weird/rare injury that afl players get compared to any other sport is osteitis pubis, but even then that seems to come and go for regularlity, i can't recall a player getting it in the last couple of years

# ? Mar 30, 2016 14:53

snaeksikn: Feb 28, 2010

Volkerball posted:

lisfrancs are kind of a freak injury though. i don't know if i've ever seen someones leg crumple like swans did.

crumpling legs? oh boy do i have some youtubes for you!

michael barlow: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bG-OaFZFQcg

robbie gray: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6omfjgnHwc
(36 seconds in for the money shot)

james strauss: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KX2yxGK5ZZw

bonus state level injury to former eagle jaymie graham, worst one by some margin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VctwY616M8s

snaeksikn fucked around with this message at 15:24 on Mar 30, 2016

# ? Mar 30, 2016 15:00

aejix: Sep 18, 2007; It's about finding that next group of core players we can win with in the next 6, 8, 10 years. Let's face it, it's hard for 20-, 21-, 22-year-olds to lead an NHL team. Look at the playoffs.

That quote is from fucking 2018. Fuck you Jim; Pillbug

Why

Why did I watch those. I feel ill

# ? Mar 30, 2016 15:20

snaeksikn: Feb 28, 2010

jaymie graham narrowly missed out in playing in the eagles 2006 premiership, but after a poor 2007 he chose to retire at age 25 with a year left on his contract rather than opt to extend his career over east so that he could stay in perth and foster care his young sister as his mother battled drug addiction. his grandparents fostered his other 4 young siblings. he stayed playing in the WAFL and after returning from an ACL in 2010 was named as captain of south fremantle for 2011, and 7 rounds in copped the above injury forcing his retirement.

talk about an unlucky dude

# ? Mar 30, 2016 15:31

Largepotato: Jan 18, 2007; Spurd.

snaeksikn posted:

crumpling legs? oh boy do i have some youtubes for you!

michael barlow: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bG-OaFZFQcg

robbie gray: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6omfjgnHwc
(36 seconds in for the money shot)

james strauss: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KX2yxGK5ZZw

bonus state level injury to former eagle jaymie graham, worst one by some margin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VctwY616M8s

You forgot Nathan Brown's. :barf:

# ? Mar 30, 2016 16:13

NTRabbit: Aug 15, 2012; i wear this armour to protect myself from the histrionics of hysterical women

bitches

snaeksikn posted:

the most common weird/rare injury that afl players get compared to any other sport is osteitis pubis, but even then that seems to come and go for regularlity, i can't recall a player getting it in the last couple of years

Concerted effort to stamp out kids overdoing strength training at U18 levels has helped cut that one down

# ? Mar 30, 2016 17:13

Spedman: Mar 12, 2010; Kangaroos hate Hasselblads

aejix posted:

Have there been any pectoral tear injuries in afl? I'd never heard of one of those until the last couple of years in the NRL. Maybe a lisfranc injury is the corresponding injury in afl

Ballentyne missed a big chunk of last season with a pec tear

http://m.theage.com.au/afl/afl-news/fremantles-hayden-ballantyne-out-for-home-and-away-season-with-pec-injury-20150720-gig7id.html

# ? Mar 30, 2016 21:03

Diet Crack: Jan 15, 2001

Dom Sheed is out for 10 weeks with a pectoral tear. There were a few who sat out lengthy stints with it last year too.

Just saw the scores from Sunday as I'm overseas and hahaha, never tip the Dockers. Absolutely loving right.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 21:43

Testro: May 2, 2009

Josh Gibson tore his pec in 2014. http://www.theage.com.au/afl/afl-news/josh-gibson-sidelined-for-up-to-10-weeks-with-pectoral-injury-20140515-38cm6.html

# ? Mar 30, 2016 21:44

gay picnic defence: Oct 5, 2009; I'M CONCERNED ABOUT A NUMBER OF THINGS

James Frawley did his pec last year too.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 22:09

The Deadly Hume: May 26, 2004; Let's get a little crazy. Let's have some fun.

Don't post snuff here.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 22:33

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

Justin Clarke has retired from the game at the ripe old age of 22. Sounds like it was the freakest of freak accidents that gave him the concussion and PCS - falling out of a marking contest forehead-first onto a team-mate's knee.

He's got a solid career plan, which will definitely be longer and might actually earn him more money than playing AFL - he put aside plans to study aeronautical engineering to play football.

# ? Mar 30, 2016 23:17

pkid: Jan 30, 2005; I was raised on the dairy, BITCH!

Memento posted:

Justin Clarke has retired from the game at the ripe old age of 22. Sounds like it was the freakest of freak accidents that gave him the concussion and PCS - falling out of a marking contest forehead-first onto a team-mate's knee.

He's got a solid career plan, which will definitely be longer and might actually earn him more money than playing AFL - he put aside plans to study aeronautical engineering to play football.

Just read about this, it's scary as hell.

The Age posted:

Justin Clarke left home to drive to university. He got halfway and stopped. He had driven the road hundreds of times but suddenly he had no idea which way to go.

He knew that he knew the way but his mind was blank. He had a choice of two roads but he sat there with the car idling and traffic banking behind him, looking at the way ahead, not knowing where the roads led or which way to go. So he chose one, the wrong one, and was late for university.

The most positive thing they said was my memory function will return to normal eventually but they also said no more contact sport for life.

"That rattled me a fair bit because I couldn't work it out. I knew I should know this and I didn't know what was going on," said Clarke.

Lions v Kangaroos
Justin Clarke keeps tabs on Jarrad Waite last year. Photo: Getty Images
"I always had a good sense of direction and this was a route I took all the time but suddenly I had no idea how to get there. It was pretty confronting. That really rattled me."

Clarke was living in a fog. Weeks earlier, in mid January, he had been at training with the Brisbane Lions when he flew into a marking contest and was pushed in the back as he jumped. As he tumbled forward to the ground his forehead cracked into the knee of a player running past.

He was taken to hospital fearing spinal damage and concussion. X-rays cleared him of spinal trouble and head fractures but the concussion was severe. After a week the symptoms were still strong. Eight weeks later they had barely abated: the dizziness, the headaches, the memory loss was just as severe.

"The immediate three weeks after the injury I have no memory at all," he said.

"I was just at home but I have no memory of anything in that time. I was sleeping a lot, then I couldn't sleep. I had shocking headaches.

"I couldn't watch sport on TV because it moved too fast so I was watching bad sitcoms that didn't have much movement - and not much storyline either. The days passed really quickly."

The blow to the head has now ended Clarke's career. On Thursday morning, he was due to tell his teammates he was retiring from football. At 22 and after 56 games, as rival clubs formulated big offers to lure the key defender away - offers he would likely have rejected in favour of the Lions - his career is now over.

It was not a choice to retire; the doctors made that decision for him. Not only was he told not to play AFL football again, he was told he can't play any form of contact sport for the rest of his life.

Clarke is a highly intelligent man. He is studying aeronautical engineering and got his pilot's licence while still at high school. He finished in the elite of his VCE year in South Australia and hopes to do his PhD in supersonic research. He hopes to work on fighter jets � "wings are where it is at" � working out ways to reduce the sonic boom.

His education, intelligence and career hopes, though, were irrelevant to the doctor's advice. Whether he wanted to be a plumber, farmer or aeronautical engineer, the advice would have been the same: his brain could not sustain more knocks.

That said, the immediate aftermath of the concussion left him anxious about the impact on his study and future.

His visual memory was badly damaged. He had always quickly absorbed what he read when he studied but now had to read things five times for it to sink in. He fretted that the damage would be permanent.

After the injury he was assessed by a neuropsychologist and his memory readings were out of kilter. His cognitive function was in the top fifth percentile of the population - thus he could still drive - but his memory was in the bottom 25th percentile � so he could not remember where he was going. The testing also detected the problem with his visual memory.

"The visual memory was the most confronting thing for me. It was one third of what it was expected to be," he said.

Then there was the physical pain and impairment.

"My speech was slurred and I would trail off in conversation and forget what I was going to say halfway through saying something. Shocking headaches and dizziness, I couldn't get out of bed," he said.

A week ago he went with his manager Matt Bain to the AFL Players Association in Melbourne. Clarke could not climb the short flight of stairs to the door.

"He had to stop halfway," Bain said. "He was dizzy and faint, he was complaining of headaches and this is 10 weeks after the injury.

"He is 22 and should be approaching the prime of his career but that his AFL career is irrelevant to his well-being now."

Clarke had already resolved that he needed to retire but while in Melbourne he went for a third opinion. He attended the Florey Institute offices of Associate Professor Paul McCrory, neurologist and sports physician, and his colleague Dr Michael Makdissi.

Among their conclusions was that Clarke's concussion was not the result of cumulative head knocks but of one severe head trauma.

"The most positive thing they said was my memory function will return to normal eventually but they also said no more contact sport for life," Clarke said.

"And that is probably the hardest part of it. Obviously I love playing in the AFL but this means never going home and playing at my local club, never playing basketball, cricket is a grey area but I doubt I will do that."

The symptoms persist but he is told they will slowly abate. He is unable to fly for 12 months because of the symptoms that altitude brings on.

"It's very much a heart rate related thing. As soon as my heart rate gets up to 100-110 beats a minute I get dizzy and faint and get a big headache and my body says I want to sleep," he said.

Living in a two-storey Queenslander in Brisbane meant whenever he returned home and climbed the stairs to the upstairs living area he would be wiped out and need to rest.

"They said if I were to play sport I would be more likely now to receive concussion from lower impact knocks and the recovery time would be longer and the symptoms more severe. It's untenable I play and not be healthy," he said.

The battle to deal with what has happened has not been his alone. There is the impact on his girlfriend, her family, his teammates, his housemate Tom Cutler, and on his parents at home on the farm north of Adelaide.

His dad broke his back in a car accident years ago � he made a full recovery � but the initial phone call home about the injury informed the Clarkes that their son had suffered possible spinal damage.

"That upset Mum quite a bit because it brought back a lot of stuff about Dad's accident. Dad really struggled with hearing me on the phone stutter along and lose track of everything. It was not particularly pleasant for them," he said.

"I have no regrets about playing AFL and pursuing an AFL career.

"It upsets me that I will never be able to go back out on the field with my mates in Brisbane or back home. That aspect of life has been taken away from me."

The upside of having his football dream ended for him is that now he can concentrate on the studies he had to shelve while he chased a football. Not all footballers are so unlucky as to lose their career so quickly, but few are so lucky as to have another career they so eagerly want to commence.

He will now return to university as a 22-year-old and still part of his own generation of students rather than be the 30-to-35-year-old ex-footballer starting out on a PhD.

"If there is a silver lining it is that now I am able to go back to uni and pursue that passion that had ground to a stop because of footy."

# ? Mar 31, 2016 00:08

The Deadly Hume: May 26, 2004; Let's get a little crazy. Let's have some fun.

This is weird, I've tipped almost all away teams (even against Hawthorn, just too many important players missing while West Coast look close to full strength). The only "home" team I've tipped is Fremantle and even that might be a bit shaky if they play like last week.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 00:14

Testekill: Nov 1, 2012; I demand to be taken seriously

Memento posted:

Justin Clarke has retired from the game at the ripe old age of 22. Sounds like it was the freakest of freak accidents that gave him the concussion and PCS - falling out of a marking contest forehead-first onto a team-mate's knee.

He's got a solid career plan, which will definitely be longer and might actually earn him more money than playing AFL - he put aside plans to study aeronautical engineering to play football.

It sounds like Clarke is a really smart kid also, hopefully it doesn't affect his life too much.

edit:

Here's some lightness to offset how depressing this story is.

quote:

TO some, the most surprising thing on Sunday afternoon at Etihad Stadium was Fremantle�s terrible performance. But in reality it was Jason Johannisen�s haircut.

The Western Bulldog had been sporting an Odell Beckham Jr.-like bleached top, brown bottom afro in the NAB Challenge that matched his exciting, run-and-gun style brilliantly. But the problem with bleaching your own hair is that it can go horribly, horribly wrong.

Jake Stringer told Fox Sports News that Johannisen rocked up to his house on Sunday morning with a hat over his freshly-bleached mop. Johannisen had bleached his hair so much that it had turned a colour no 23-year-old�s should be.

�He took the hat off and it was a bit silver,� Stringer revealed.

Johannisen got the clippers out and tried to cut it down to a No.2 � but it didn�t help. So he had to go all the way.

�I think he had his career high disposals so he�ll probably do that every week now,� Stringer said. �The front looked all right but I�m glad he shaved it because you wouldn�t have liked it on the TV screen.�

So if you were wondering why JJ was bald, here's the reason why

Testekill fucked around with this message at 01:35 on Mar 31, 2016

# ? Mar 31, 2016 01:32

realbez: Mar 23, 2005; Fun Shoe

I thought he was just channeling Nathan Eagleton

# ? Mar 31, 2016 02:20

Sir Charles: Apr 25, 2006; Can't...seem to...penetrate the fabric...must be...some kind of...polyester weave!

NTRabbit posted:

Concerted effort to stamp out kids overdoing strength training at U18 levels has helped cut that one down

I've just recovered from OP. Had to essentially stop all running for 10 months. I've been seeing the Perth glory physio and he said they screen all youth and first team players each week for adductor strength and groin flexibility. If they fail against their baseline they get immediately pulled from training. I imagine footy would be the same. It's the type of injury where I didn't know I had it until I'd already done a lot of damage.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 03:19

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

It seemed that OP used to be really really common compared to where it is today, so whatever they're doing is working.

The Deadly Hume posted:

This is weird, I've tipped almost all away teams (even against Hawthorn, just too many important players missing while West Coast look close to full strength). The only "home" team I've tipped is Fremantle and even that might be a bit shaky if they play like last week.

I didn't tip Fremantle, so I'm on 9/9 away teams. While beating Essendon by 60 points proved exactly nothing about the Suns, I think Fremantle got exposed a bit. Of course the stats don't agree with me 100% but gently caress it, someone has to be wrong. I tell that to the people in my supercoach draft league at work: someone has to be the spud lurking around the bottom of the ladder and it might as well be me!

# ? Mar 31, 2016 03:27

Seltzer: Oct 11, 2012; Ask me about Game Pass: the Best Deal in Gaming!

Are most games close like midtable soccer fixtures or are games usually more onesided? I'm assuming Swans Collingwood wasn't the best sample.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 03:30

Testekill: Nov 1, 2012; I demand to be taken seriously

Seltzer posted:

Are most games close like midtable soccer fixtures or are games usually more onesided? I'm assuming Swans Collingwood wasn't the best sample.

Games are generally speaking more even. It's just that a couple of games got teams at different ends of the ladder (GC vs Ess & WC vs Brisbane) and a couple of teams failed to fire on the weekend. Collingwood just was not on and it was compounded by injuries that they copped during the game.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 03:48

Solemn Sloth: Jul 11, 2015; Baby you can shout at me,
But you can't need my eyes.

Seltzer posted:

Are most games close like midtable soccer fixtures or are games usually more onesided? I'm assuming Swans Collingwood wasn't the best sample.

This gives you a breakdown of where scores and margins have fallen over the history of the game http://afltables.com/afl/teams/allteams/overall_margins.html

The average has hung in the 30s for quite a long time, the times it has risen into the 40s have been when new teams were introduced or old teams were dying off, both resulting in non-competitiveness on the field.

Results like Collingwood vs Sydney would probably on average happen once or twice per round.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 03:52

snaeksikn: Feb 28, 2010

i think it would be extremely richmond like to lose to collingwood this week

# ? Mar 31, 2016 04:01

snaeksikn: Feb 28, 2010

Sir Charles posted:

I've just recovered from OP. Had to essentially stop all running for 10 months. I've been seeing the Perth glory physio and he said they screen all youth and first team players each week for adductor strength and groin flexibility. If they fail against their baseline they get immediately pulled from training. I imagine footy would be the same. It's the type of injury where I didn't know I had it until I'd already done a lot of damage.

what does it feel like? is it like a pulled groin that just doesnt go away, or is it something that feels fine day to day and only flares up when you run?

# ? Mar 31, 2016 04:02

hiddenmovement: Sep 29, 2011; "Most mornings I'll apologise in advance to my wife."

Usually the median margin is about 5 goals, but the rules have been changed this year to change up defensive, congested play (interchange rules mostly). We cannot say with any accuracy what this year will be like. We have been seeing more comebacks however, so perhaps what we considered a close game is not the case anymore. Historically, once you get the score out to about 35 points I think the chance of a comeback falls to about 5%, but on the weekend we saw the Hawks comeback from 30 down (they lost, but regained the lead), North and Melbourne come back from 30~, Richmond from 18 and Port put on a staggering 50~ point swing in the last quarter. Violent momentum swings might be the new normal.

The Collingwood game on the weekend was a blowouts blowout, as bad as you are likely to see on any given round. I suppose the soccer equivalent would be a 5-0 loss with 2-3 down before halftime. Blowouts tend to happen more as the season progresses, as teams start to take on injuries and begin to play their youth more as a result of their being nothing to lose (the league isn't big enough to support relegation due to a relatively small national population, so you get teams saying 'gently caress it, play all the rookies').

hiddenmovement fucked around with this message at 04:10 on Mar 31, 2016

# ? Mar 31, 2016 04:06

Divorced And Curious: Jan 23, 2009; democracy depends on sausage sizzles

i hope and i feel like Good Richmond will turn up against collingwood this week but it would also be the most richmond thing ever for them to poo poo the bed with the lights on.

e - yeah as appalling as freo were last weekend i can't seriously see them losing to gold coast.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 04:08

NPR Journalizard: Feb 14, 2008

Memento posted:

I didn't tip Fremantle, so I'm on 9/9 away teams. While beating Essendon by 60 points proved exactly nothing about the Suns, I think Fremantle got exposed a bit. Of course the stats don't agree with me 100% but gently caress it, someone has to be wrong. I tell that to the people in my supercoach draft league at work: someone has to be the spud lurking around the bottom of the ladder and it might as well be me!

Having Sandipants back in will give Freo a big lift imo.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 04:08

hiddenmovement: Sep 29, 2011; "Most mornings I'll apologise in advance to my wife."

Wow, there were way more blowouts and way less close games last year. I knew it was a poo poo season, nice to see stats back it up.

# ? Mar 31, 2016 04:17

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

hiddenmovement posted:

Wow, there were way more blowouts and way less close games last year. I knew it was a poo poo season, nice to see stats back it up.

That AFL tables website is neat. Today I learned that the team on the receiving end of the two largest thumpings in the history of the league is my very own Melbourne! :downsgun:

# ? Mar 31, 2016 04:20

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 7, 2024 07:09

snaeksikn: Feb 28, 2010

i was under the impression fitzroy still held the record for the worst loss on record

# ? Mar 31, 2016 04:32

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > AFL 2016 - May The Fyfe Be With You

«‹›516 »