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Crow & Artix’s Wild Ride The LP subforum needs more good racing game LPs, so I am happy to oblige it. Welcome, everyone to Let’s Play Forza Horizon   Released (and set) in 2012, Forza Horizon is the fifth game in the Forza franchise, Mircosoft’s flagship exclusive racing franchise, and the first game in the Horizon sub-series, which includes Forza Motorsports 1 through 6, and Forza Horizons 1 to 3, thus far. Horizon was, effectively, Forza’s swan song on the Xbox 360 before the franchise made the jump to the Xbox One. True, Horizon 2 got a 360 port, but BLAH BLAH BLAH you don’t care. Set in the picturesque and fictional town of Carson, Colorado, the basic plot of Horizon—hell it’s more a premise than a plot—follows our nameless douchebag protagonist as he slides in via effectively an open casting call to the 2012 Horizon Tournament, this big racing rally that has descended upon Carson and is playing host to drivers from all around the world, famous and obscure alike. From there, it’s an uphill climb to battle our way to the top of the field and win poo poo loads of money and hot cars and dethrone the reigning Horizon Champion, Darius Flynt. But to do that, we need to bump off a slate of star rivals…  There is nothing to spoil about this game. You drive cars. There are races. All your rivals are assholes (except for Ali Howard, he’s your street bro), and in the end we kick the poo poo out of Darius Flynt and take his douche rear end to the cleaners. It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey though. So just strap in and enjoy the ride.  I’m going to get this one out of the way up front: THIS IS A SIDE PROJECT first and foremost. Both Artix and I are hard at work on other projects that take up the majority of our potential LP time. He’s of course got Lightning Returns and cleaning up the mess I left him in Prince of Persia 2008 to get off his plate, while Ace Combat 04 and Total Extreme Wrestling will be taking up the majority of my time. As such, this LP is going to be updating on an ad hoc “When we have the time to” basis. I am going to try to aim for an episode every 2-ish weeks, but I will not make any hard promises, especially with the holidays coming up.  Episode 1.1 – Intro & Qualifiers Episode 1.2 – Yellow Wristband Races vs. Ramona Cravache Episode 2.1 – Street Races (Part 1) Episode 2.2 – Street Races (Part 2) & Green Wristband Races vs Ali Howard  NEW!Episode 3.1 – Green Wristband Clean Up & Showcase Events Episode 3.2 – Blue Wristband Races vs. Duke Maguire nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 09:45 on Jan 9, 2017 |
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Nov 27, 2016 04:00
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Nov 27, 2016 04:02
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EPISODE 1 – Ramona and Bejeezus Episode 1.1 – Intro & Qualifiers Episode 1.2 – Yellow Wristband Races vs. Ramona Cravache These first parts of Horizon introduce like half the cast to us, but I’ll just focus on the ones relevant to this part of the LP.    Our player avatar and silent protagonist. This straight white male middle class douchelord will be representing us as he stumbles his way through Carson, CO while various people he has never met before treat him like absolute poo poo for no particular reason. Luckily, he has the decency to never open his mouth and say a thing otherwise he’d be just as terrible as the rest of this cast of self-important jagoffs. He has no name either, so everyone in-game either refers to him with pronouns or as the “Mystery Driver.” For the sake of the LP, let’s just call him, oh… I dunno… “Dash.”   Alice Hart is effectively our Mission Control for Horizon. She will constantly be in our ear pointing us to the next race or updating us on challenges or special events or whatever as we come across them over the course of the game. While Alice may not be in charge of the Horizon Festival, she is its event booker, so while our slate of rivals is our immediate threat, she is ultimately the gatekeeper to our progress up the ladder to Darius Flynt… who she may or may not be sleeping with, just FYI. Don’t be afraid to call out any time you think Alice has a blatant conflict of interest over the course of the game’s “storyline.” Believe me, you will have plenty of opportunities.   Dak is our Car Dad. As the Horizon Festival’s chief mechanic, Dak is responsible for overseeing the safety inspection and modification of every car registered in the tournament. He will also be our mentor at sporadic points in the game, giving us tips on how to race better, insights into certain rivals, and will restore any “Barn Finds”—abandoned cars scattered around Carson that we can claim for ourselves—to racing condition should we find them. We will repay his generous services to us by destroying all of his advertising and driving his customer base away so that we can get free stuff from him.     Our first rival met on the track is Ramona Cravache. A veteran of the dirt rally circuit, Ramona’s main claim to fame is several back-to-back completed runs of the annual Dakar Rally. As such, the majority of her rival races will be taking place off road, where she can put her signature Ford Raptor SVT to good use, whether it actually qualifies for the race under normal circumstances, or not. She has come to Horizon this year to shame all the pubbies in the off-road portions of the tournament with her alleged dirt rally mastery. As our first actual rival and boss character, Ramona’s weaknesses far outnumber her strengths. Her Raptor has better traction and handling than anything you have access to at the start of the game, and it can easily push you around and out of its way with its massive body and weight, but that’s about it. On the downside, she is slower than you, she turns wider than you do, her heavyass truck is quite unresponsive at top speed, and her AI is generally dumber than a box of rocks. She is our basic boilerplate first boss.
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Nov 27, 2016 04:02
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If our protagonist talked, he'd be the biggest rear end in a top hat of them all.
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Nov 27, 2016 06:21
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Why does a racing game need a plot other than 'Trophy's there, go get 'em champ!'? Do we really need a rogues gallery, like Batman? Because insofar as I'm aware, we're not Batman.
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Nov 27, 2016 06:41
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CommissarMega posted:Why does a racing game need a plot other than 'Trophy's there, go get 'em champ!'? Do we really need a rogues gallery, like Batman? Because insofar as I'm aware, we're not Batman. If said rogue's gallery was done well, it would result in different personalities shining thru in both story and game-play in a way that works well to entertain the consumer. Besides, many real championships have a lot of interesting characters out there.
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Nov 27, 2016 07:08
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This whole mess is technically my fault, I guess? I apologize for nothing, at any rate. 
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Nov 27, 2016 07:31
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Artix posted:This whole mess is technically my fault, I guess? I apologize for nothing, at any rate. Sure, let's go with that. Anyway, we just recorded the second episode earlier tonight, but for some reason, OBS decided to take the settings I had saved that gave me a file with 4 distinct audio tracks for my audio/the game audio/Artix's audio/additional audio to pull apart and mix at my pleasure, and toss out everything except the game audio, so our "commentary" track for this one coming up has been lost. The source video is intact though, so we're gonna look at salvaging it through post-commentary. Hopefully we'll have all the A/V quirks ironed out before the LP really gets going, but just bare with us. This is a "duct tape and clenched sphincters"-style LP par excellence.
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Nov 27, 2016 08:19
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As recompense for the commentary screw up, I will give you this brief magical moment from the video as a taste of things that may be yet to come, possibly...
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Nov 27, 2016 08:59
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So, just like this fella who won his race by a quirk of the rulebook? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eLinrZEyRU
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Nov 27, 2016 09:05
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Oh I thought Horizon was the one set in Australia? EDIT: Ah, my bad Spudd fucked around with this message at 13:59 on Nov 27, 2016 |
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Nov 27, 2016 09:45
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Spudd posted:Oh I thought Horizon was the one set in Australia? Horizon 3 is  . Horizon 2, meanwhile, is set in France/Germany/Italy.
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Nov 27, 2016 09:53
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You misspelled Porsche by the way. And I know I'm going to keep making so many drat paralells to The Crew while watching this because the base concept is pretty much the same, only difference is that the "plot" (if you can even call it that) has a slightly different theme to it. If Ubisoft hadn't been such utter morons and made TC unreplayable from the beginning I would have considered LPing it. Almost. Edit: You probably need to boost your audio levels a little for future videos because the game drowns you out a lot of the time. Also I'm noticing a reoccuring trend that racing games always have the douchiest or most hipster looking main character. TC's main character looks so insufferable that don't want to do anything but punch his goddamn face in. They also seem to all have female voice overs that act as your guide. Cooked Auto fucked around with this message at 13:34 on Nov 27, 2016 |
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Nov 27, 2016 12:06
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So, when do the Mikumobiles make their appearance? 
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Nov 27, 2016 12:19
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You can beat the last dude with the VW. I dumped a ton of money into it, and by the end it was a 1000+ HP deathtrap. Of course the crap you had to do to it to make it fast meant you couldn't actually race it in most of the races, but it worked.
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Nov 27, 2016 21:38
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Cooked Auto posted:Edit: You probably need to boost your audio levels a little for future videos because the game drowns you out a lot of the time. Due to me not clicking a certain checkbox on Voicemeeter's inscrutable UI, Audacity recorded my audio and the game's audio on my commentary track, so we were kind of hosed out of the gate in terms of audio balance. However, upon consulting with Artix, we have agreed that next time we will turn the game audio up even louder just to make sure there aren't any further issues.
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Nov 28, 2016 04:07
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Mysticblade posted:So, when do the Mikumobiles make their appearance? Give us the abominobiles.
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Nov 28, 2016 08:33
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CommissarMega posted:Why does a racing game need a plot other than 'Trophy's there, go get 'em champ!'? Do we really need a rogues gallery, like Batman? Because insofar as I'm aware, we're not Batman. Major spoilers, but since crow said it's okay in the OP: this game is an alternate universe Batman origin story. We're not Batman yet.
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Nov 28, 2016 08:40
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Mysticblade posted:So, when do the Mikumobiles make their appearance? I am not dignifying that quite frankly asinine question with a response
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Nov 28, 2016 08:56
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nine-gear crow posted:However, upon consulting with Artix, we have agreed that next time we will turn the game audio up even louder just to make sure there aren't any further issues. Good to know. nine-gear crow posted:I am not dignifying that quite frankly asinine question with a response What he means is "In a couple of videos, don't worry."
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Nov 28, 2016 11:57
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Cooked Auto posted:What he means is "In a couple of videos, don't worry." I read it as more of a "at some point before this LP is over" myself. Small side note: I'm sorry to say Crow, you tag DOES show up at some point and so do the name of the dude you censored Artix from saying. The pink boxes were just a little off in their timing. I don't have an Xbox, so I don't care, just figured you might want to be a little more vigilant if you really care that much.
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Nov 28, 2016 18:12
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I'm down with the Mu Tang Clan, and enjoying the LP so far. Keep chumping these assholes, Crow, you're doin' fine [FOOTAGE MISSING] work!
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Nov 29, 2016 17:29
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nine-gear crow posted:A couple of the late game ones, the plane is a real bastard. ...is Rico flying? Cooked Auto posted:Also I'm noticing a reoccuring trend that racing games always have the douchiest or most hipster looking main character. 
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Dec 2, 2016 09:52
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Fish Noise posted:Excuse you. My point still stands when the main character looks like this:  Then in contrast you The Crew where the main character looks like this:  Then in TDU2 your character could look something like this:  Granted my sample size is kind of small to really make a decent point but my god to I wanted to punch the TC main character whenever he showed up in cutscenes. Not to mention he was voiced by Troy Baker too which added to things.
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Dec 2, 2016 12:47
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I love how you guys reacted when those signposts shot up like rockets.  I was afraid I was the only one who noticed.
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Dec 2, 2016 16:02
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Cooked Auto posted:Video game car heroes look like/are douchebags Don't forget Jack Rourke from Need for Speed The Run!  He's literally dreaming about a butt in that screen cap. What a mess.
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Dec 3, 2016 03:47
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Cathode Raymond posted:Don't forget Jack Rourke from Need for Speed The Run! Oh yeah. This just proves my theory even further.
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Dec 3, 2016 12:39
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I'm going to give Ramona a pass. The Dakar Rally is an endurance race, not an on/off road lap race like what we see here. Totally different requirements. She's still an rear end though.
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Dec 3, 2016 22:18
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As you all wait patiently for the next update; something to tide you over. An art piece: I call it "Life is meaningless. lol nothing matters"
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Dec 5, 2016 09:25
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Stoic in the face of death. A man to be admired for his brass balls, if not his fashion sense.
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Dec 5, 2016 18:05
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Is that "stoicism" or is that "not responding to stimuli" because I think he might just be super dumb or in some sort of fugue state. Not a safe time to be driving, either way.
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Dec 5, 2016 18:16
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I think thats the major problem with racing games with 'story'. They try to set it up as either street racers on the wrong side of the law or more lately douchey exclusive rich kids who race their toys. Which naturally begets a douchebag PC. What they should do is either make everyone massive car nerds who care more about the pros and cons of this new differential theyre tacking on or to make everyone the protagonist of my summer car.
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Dec 5, 2016 23:17
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Postapocalypsemen are the heroes racing games need.
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Dec 5, 2016 23:23
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Dec 25, 2016 05:59
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EPISODE 2 – Jet Set Radio Doucher Episode 2.1 – Street Races (Part 1) Episode 2.2 – Street Races (Part 2) & Green Wristband Races vs Ali Howard    Rival #2 in Forza Horizon is the magnificent Mr. Ali Howard aka our Race Bro. Ali is the local king of the underground street racing scene here in Carson, Colorado. His cars are all ostensibly street legal, but pack some serious surprises under the hood in terms of speed and maneuverability. Ali operates what is essentially a shadow racing tournament right under the nose of the Horizon Festival bookers out of the Carson City parking garage and the Gladstone Hill cell tower, and has entered the actual Horizon tournament this year primarily to recruit new racers he thinks have potential into his street racing league and to win some decent prize money in order to keep it afloat... that is if the local cops don't shut him down first. Ali is a hipster with a capital "just look at that loving picture up there." Dude dresses like a hipster, dude talks like a hipster, dude drives cars that are basically hipsterbait. He is also, because of the Street Racing side game, the only one of your rivals that sticks around after you beat him. So it's a good thing that unlike the majority of your other rivals, he's not a complete rear end in a top hat and basically treats you like a friend throughout his time in the game. If Horizon was a buddy movie, Ali Howard would be our buddy. He is the Roman Pierce to our Brian O'Connor. Also, hi, it's me, I'm the one jackass out there who likes 2 Fast, 2 Furious and thinks it actually makes for a decent early 00's buddy cop movie. Ali is where the game stops loving around and actually becomes a decent challenge to beat. Beating Ali takes more than just having a faster car than his, you also need to know how to actually drive with it too. Ali also makes use of a wider array of cars than Ramona did. While Ramona was content to stick with her HellTruck to bulldoze her way through races that it literally shouldn't be allowed into, now that the game is opening up a little more and event restrictions are coming into play, Ali is more tactical with his choice of rides, which means that you have to be now too. Once you clear the first race with him, however, the first Street Racing venue (the Carson City Parkade) opens up for you to peruse at your leisure. As you progress through the game and win more story mode races, more street race options will unlock for as well, including the second street race venue (the Gladstone Hill Cell Tower). It's well worth your time to check out these optional races because they tend to have the highest cash payouts in the game. If you're looking to make a lot of cash really quickly, the street races are where you want to go because they often pay double, sometimes even 4x what regular races do at any given point in the game, and that multiplier only increases as you up the difficulty and handicaps. For all intents and purposes, Ali Howard is effectively going to be bankrolling this LP    The context is in the video, watch it to find out. Also the spelling mistake is intentional.
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Dec 28, 2016 04:15
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Attack of the Helltruck.
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Dec 28, 2016 05:05
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oh yes oh god yes form the head FORM THE HEAD unghhhh...
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If anyone's interested, I'll be keeping a list of the songs we set up in the radio. This update's selections come almost entirely from me, with Crow's sole contribution being Ali's "boss" theme (I was going to use Mechanical Rhythm). This way you always know who to blame for any given musical choice! 
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Dec 28, 2016 05:08
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Wait wait wait wait. Artix lives in the Seattle area? How many loving LPers live up here oh my god Also, RIP that crowd at the end of the first video. The HellTruck craved souls, and Crow had to deliver.
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Dec 28, 2016 07:55
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nine-gear crow posted:Are you people screaming Howard or Help Us? They are screaming Helltruck.  There is no escape
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Dec 28, 2016 08:40
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The latest episode of The Grand Tour (aka the new Top Gear) has a very lovely segment with James May about the creation of the Ford GT and the 1966 Le Man race. He even drives one of the cars that drove in the race. It's worth 15 million pounds today.
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Dec 28, 2016 15:33
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