Let's Read: "Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality"

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Tunicate: May 15, 2012

Pvt.Scott posted:

What the even gently caress is hedonic awareness? Jizzing in your pants because you�re just so smart and observant? I guess Stephen King was right; write what you know.

�In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god�s blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence.�

# ? Apr 19, 2018 06:59

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# ? May 22, 2024 01:27

Pieuvre: Sep 19, 2010

If I had to guess, "hedonic awareness" is probably supposed to be a lizard-brained calculation of how much pleasure you can get from the courses of action available to you.

I could be wrong, but these are the same people who treat sociopathy as a fashion accessory, so I just assume the worst.

# ? Apr 19, 2018 12:34

Cardiovorax: Jun 5, 2011; I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

A quick Google search confirms that it is a term which does not exist outside of HPMOR and the surrounding sphere of awfulness. I keep getting some strange amusement from the sheer snobbishness of their refusal to acknowledge any kind of thinker that before or outside of their vaunted enlightenment, despite the fact that the ethics of pleasure were a major branch of Ancient Greek moral philosophy and have only been refined since then. Piglets of Epicurus represent.

# ? Apr 19, 2018 13:13

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Stroth posted:

Sati is part of a religion and therefore ~~retarded~~ not rational.

This is obviously totally different because Yud said so.

this is what I was implying yes

# ? Apr 19, 2018 21:49

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Maaaan! I'm like, waaaay into anhedonic olfactory experiences, now.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 03:05

Hate Fibration: Apr 8, 2013; FLÃSHYN!

Pvt.Scott posted:

Maaaan! I'm like, waaaay into anhedonic olfactory experiences, now.

I also huff farts.

# ? Apr 20, 2018 21:26

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

Chapter 88: Time Pressure, Pt 1

quote:

The figure who'd just staggered into the Great Hall appeared to be Mr. Filch, Hogwarts's token hallway monitor; who, along with his predatory cat Mrs. Norris, constituted a low-level random encounter whom Harry often breezed past wearing his epic-level Deathly Hallow. (Harry had once consulted the Weasley twins about pulling some sort of prank on this deserving target, whereupon Fred or George had quietly pointed out that Mr. Filch was never seen to use a wand, which was odd, really, considering how many spells would be useful in that position, and it made you wonder why Dumbledore had given the man a position at Hogwarts, and Harry had shut up.)

Right now Mr. Filch's brown clothing was disarrayed and soaked with sweat, his shoulders were visibly heaving as he breathed, and his everpresent cat was missing.

"Troll -" gasped Mr. Filch. "In the dungeons -"

...

Argus Filch covered his face with his hands. "It ate Mrs. Norris - ate her all up, in just one bite -"

Minerva felt a stab of dismay in her other self, she hadn't liked the other cat very much but the two of them had still been felines.

quote:

"Prefects - lead your houses back to the dormitories immediately!"

Percy Weasley leaped up from the Gryffindor table. "Follow me!" he said in a high voice. "Stick together, first-years! No, not you -" but by that time the other prefects were raising their own voices as a renewed babble sprang up.

Then a clear, cool voice spoke under the sudden rush of sound.

"Deputy Headmistress."

She turned.

The Defense Professor was calmly wiping off his hands on a napkin as he stood up from the Head Table. "With respect," said the man of unknown identity, "you are not expert in battle tactics, madam. In this situation, it would be wiser to -"

"I do apologize, Professor," said Professor McGonagall, as she turned toward the great doors. Filius and Pomona had already risen to follow her, with Rubeus Hagrid towering over all of them as the half-giant stood up. She'd been through similar experiences too many times, at this point. "Sad experience has taught me that on occasions such as these, it is not a good time to take any advice the current Defense Professor may offer. Indeed, I think it wise that the two of us search for the troll together, so that no suspicions may be cast upon you for any untoward events which occur during that time."

...

Michelle Morgan of House Gryffindor, second in command of Pinnini's Army," the Defense Professor said calmly into the resulting quiet. "Please advise your Head of House."

Michelle Morgan climbed up onto her bench and spoke, the tiny witch sounding far more confident than Minerva remembered her being at the start of the year. "Students walking through the hallways would be spread out and impossible to defend. All students are to remain in the Great Hall and form a cluster in the center... not surrounded by tables, a troll would jump right over tables... with the perimeter defended by seventh-year students. From the armies only, no matter how good they are at duelling, so they don't get in each other's lines of fire." Michelle hesitated. "I'm sorry, Mr. Hagrid, but - it wouldn't be safe for you, you should stay behind with the students. And Professor Trelawney shouldn't confront a troll on her own either," Michelle sounded much less apologetic about this part, "but if she's paired with Professor Quirrell the two of them together can form an additional trusted and effective battle unit. That concludes my analysis, Professor."

quote:

Some students were speculating in whispers about what the Defense Professor could possibly be trying to achieve by smuggling in a troll, and whether he was angry that Professor McGonagall had caught on to his attempted distraction, and what it was a distraction from.

Tick.

And the thought still didn't come to Harry, not until after all the students had formed a mass of perhaps a hundred bodies patrolled by proudly grim-looking seventh-year-students with their wands all pointed outward, and somebody suggested doing a headcount, and someone else replied sarcastically that this might have made sense on some other day, but right now practically everyone was gone for the spring holiday and nobody really knew how many students were supposed to be in the room, let alone if any were missing.

Tick.

That was when Harry wondered where Hermione was.

quote:

Hermione won't have any idea it's a troll, so she'll go investigate the noise. She's a heroine, isn't she?

- but Hermione now had an invisibility cloak and a broomstick in her pouch. Harry had insisted on that part for both her and Neville, and Professor McGonagall had told him it'd been done. That ought to be enough to let Hermione get away, even if she was lousy on a broomstick. All she had to do was get onto a section of roof, it was a clear day and sunlight was supposed to be bad for trolls somehow, Harry remembered that part and therefore Hermione would remember it exactly. And surely, even if Hermione wanted to prove herself again, she couldn't possibly be dumb enough to attack a mountain troll.

Tick.

She wouldn't.

Tick.

That just wasn't her.

Tick.

And then it occured to Harry that somebody had previously tried to frame Hermione Granger for murder using Memory Charms. Had done so inside Hogwarts, without setting off any alarms. And had arranged for Draco to die slowly enough that it wouldn't set off the wards until at least six hours later when nobody could use a Time-Turner to check. And that whoever was clever enough to infiltrate a troll past the ancient wards of Hogwarts without the Headmaster coming to investigate the strange creature, could be clever enough to also take the obvious step of jinxing Hermione's magic items...

...

Harry recognized an instance of the fear-of-embarrassment schema that stopped most people from ever doing anything under conditions of uncertainty, and squashed it down hard. Even then it was strange how much willpower it took to muster the decision to shout out loud in front of everyone, if he just hadn't seen Hermione in the crowd it was going to be embarrassing...

...

"Has anyone seen Hermione Granger since - since around ten-thirty today or so? Does anyone have any idea where she might be?"

quote:

"I have a broomstick," Harry said as loudly as he could manage with his throat still hurting. He'd remembered Azkaban, and the broomstick which had only sat two, when he'd requested one that could carry three. "It's a 3-seater. I need one seventh-year from the armies to come with me. We're going to fly through the hallways as fast as possible looking for Hermione Granger, pick her up, and come back immediately. Who's with me?"

The Great Hall became entirely silent, then.

Students glanced at each other uneasily. The younger students looked expectantly at the older students, while they in turn turned to look at the students who were guarding the perimeter. Most of those were staring straight ahead, pointing their wands just in case the troll picked that moment to burst through a wall.

No one moved.

No one spoke.

Harry Potter spoke again. "We're not going to fight the troll. If we see it we'll just fly away and there's no way it'll be able to keep up with us on a broomstick. I'll take responsibility for squaring it with the administration. Please."

People went on looking at other people.

quote:

"I'd expect the Professor to say she'd not wish any more students roaming the halls. The Professor said if anyone left for any reason, they'd be expelled. Maybe you don't need to worry because you're the Boy-Who-Lived, but the rest of us do! "

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Professor Quirrell was just laughing at him.

quote:

Harry looked up.

"I can't let yeh do that, Harry Potter, not yeh of all people. There's strange things afoot in this castle, and someone might be after Miss Granger - or they might be after yeh." Rubeus Hagrid's voice was regretful but firm, and his gigantic hands lay at his side like forklifts. "I can't let yeh go out there, Harry Potter."

"Stupefy! "

The red bolt crashed into the side of Hagrid's head and made the huge man startle. His head snapped around faster than anything that large should've moved, and bellowed, "What do yeh think yeh're doing! " at the young form of Susan Bones.

"Sorry! " she screamed. "Incendium! Glisseo! "

The huge man's hands, now slapping at the fire in his beard, didn't quite manage to catch himself as he crashed to the floor, but it didn't matter by then because Harry was past him and -

Neville Longbottom stepped in front of him, looking desperate but determined, the Hufflepuff boy's wand already level in his hand.

Harry's hand went for his wand in a sheer reflex action, he barely managed to check himself before Neville could fire on him, staring at his Lieutenant as though the world had gone mad.

"Harry!" Neville burst out. "Harry, Mr. Hagrid's right, you can't, this could all be a trap, they could be after you -"

All of Neville's muscles went rigid and he toppled to the ground, stiff as a board.

A pale-looking Ron Weasley stepped out from behind Neville, his own wand level, and said, "Go."

"Ron, you madman, what are you doing -" came a voice distantly identifiable as Miss Clearwater's boyfriend, but Harry was already dashing for the door without looking back, even as Ron's voice and Susan's voice rose again in incantation. There was a huge indignant bellow, and unknown voices began to yell.

Then Harry was through, his hand reaching into his pouch and his voice was saying "broomstick", as behind him the great doors began to swing shut again.

...

"Gah! " Harry screamed, and barely managed to spin his broom in the air so that he didn't impale one of the human figures lurking at the top of the stairs. There was a ghastly moment of trying not to fall off the broom, perform the twists that would keep him in the stirrups, despite being really close to the ground and having almost no room to maneuver and then -

"Fred? George? "

"We can't figure out how to find her!" one of the Weasley twins blurted, hands twisting in distress. "We snuck out because we thought we could find Miss Granger - there has to be a quick way to find anyone inside the Hogwarts castle, we're both sure of it - but we can't figure out what it is!"

Harry stared at both of them, from where he was hanging upside down from the broomstick where his desperate maneuver had brought him, and entirely by reflex his mouth said, "Well, why were you so sure you could find her?"

"We don't know!" cried the other Weasley twin.

"Have you been able to find people inside Hogwarts before?"

"Yes! We -" and the Weasley twin who was speaking stopped abruptly, both redheads staring off into the distance with a blank expression.

There was a thundering crash, as of two huge doors being shoved open by someone very, very strong.

quote:

Searching all of Hogwarts bordered on a mathematical impossibility, there probably was no continuous flight path that entered all the rooms at least once - why hadn't he thought to demand for Hermione and Neville and him to be given a set of those neat little mirrors the Aurors used to communicate -

The realization that he was being stupid hit Harry like a blow to the stomach. He didn't need mirrors to send a message, he hadn't needed mirrors since January. Harry slowed the broomstick to a halt in midair of a hallway, his wand already coming into his hand, the driving will to protect Hermione Granger rising to the front of his mind like a sun of silver fire and flowing down his arm as he cried

"EXPECTO PATRONUM! "

and the blazing white humanoid burst into existence like a nova, the Weasley twins' voices crying aloud in shock.

"Tell Hermione Granger - that there's a troll loose in Hogwarts - it could be hunting for her - she needs to get into direct sunlight, now!"

The silver figure turned as though it was departing, and then vanished.

"Merlin's underpants," breathed Fred or George.

The silver outline blasted back into the world, and said in the strange outside version of Harry's own voice, "Hermione Granger says," the blazing figure's voice became higher-pitched, "AHHHHHHHHH! "

Time seemed to fracture, like everything was moving very quickly and slowly at the same time. A desperate impulse to accelerate the broomstick, fly at its maximum speed, only Harry didn't know where -

"If you know where she is," Harry shouted to the blazing humanoid figure, staring into it as though it were a sun, "then take me to her!"

The silver blaze moved and Harry accelerated after it, the Weasley twins giving out high-pitched shrieks behind him as he fired through the air like a cannonball, moving faster than sanity, he didn't focus on the walls whizzing past him or how fast he was moving, just followed the silver light through corridors and flying up staircases and blitzing through doors that Fred or George cried desperate incantations to open and it was all still taking too much time, somewhere deep inside Harry felt like he was sinking through molasses as windows and portraits shot past.

I don't have any notes to make, much less particularly biting criticism. If I wasn't aware of Yud's "sheeple, am I right?" problem, I'd find this chapter to be a perfectly unobjectionable bit of action fanfic. In fact, even with that issue in mind, at least we're getting a variety of reactions that is internally consistent within the setting and actually makes sense.

The cliffhanger is far more... cliffhangery than most other attempts in MoR.

# ? Apr 24, 2018 11:08

divabot: Jun 17, 2015; A polite little mouse!

Tangential note: I need to write a book, and its working title is Roko's Basilisk: A Savage Journey to the Dark Heart of the Transhumanist Dream. I have a blog post about it asking for what people would like to see in it. So you sneer culturists came to mind.

obviously HPMOR is gonna need extensive mention, and the problem there will be how not to write too much - there's enough critique of HPMOR to fill a thick book, but not one many people would be interested in.

# ? Apr 24, 2018 11:53

MatchaZed: Feb 14, 2010; We Can Do It!

divabot posted:

Tangential note: I need to write a book, and its working title is Roko's Basilisk: A Savage Journey to the Dark Heart of the Transhumanist Dream. I have a blog post about it asking for what people would like to see in it. So you sneer culturists came to mind.

obviously HPMOR is gonna need extensive mention, and the problem there will be how not to write too much - there's enough critique of HPMOR to fill a thick book, but not one many people would be interested in.

Do a side essay on the other weird book Big Yud put out

# ? Apr 25, 2018 01:26

Paladin: Nov 26, 2004; You lost today, kid. But that doesn't mean you have to like it.

divabot posted:

Tangential note: I need to write a book, and its working title is Roko's Basilisk: A Savage Journey to the Dark Heart of the Transhumanist Dream.

A lot of this was already discussed in the excellent "Neoreaction a Basilisk". Seeing as how you are in the forward of that book as its first reader, I'm wondering what sort of direction you want to go in that's different from that one. Do you want to look more at weird ultra-rationalists "in the wild"? The religious like nature of their beliefs? How they're influencing the modern tech sector for the worst? Not really sure but just think there is more comedy to be found?

# ? Apr 25, 2018 02:45

Milkfred E. Moore: Aug 27, 2006; 'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'

quote:

The figure who'd just staggered into the Great Hall appeared to be Mr. Filch...

I always love this stuff in writing. Can't say it was Mr Filch, gotta try and make it sound 'intelligent'. It appeared to be Mr Filch and, indeed, as it turns out, it was!

# ? Apr 25, 2018 09:28

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Speaking of Filch, his status within the school is an interesting detail that's never really examined in the original books and so bringing it up in a fanfic is totally legitimate. The problem I have with it here is that I doubt Yudkowsky has any intention of mentioning it again or looking into the issue of squibs (or wizard-aware muggles) in wizarding society at all. It could be an interesting direction to take if this particular story weren't already trying to go in sixteen other directions at the same time.

Xander77 posted:

I don't have any notes to make, much less particularly biting criticism. If I wasn't aware of Yud's "sheeple, am I right?" problem, I'd find this chapter to be a perfectly unobjectionable bit of action fanfic. In fact, even with that issue in mind, at least we're getting a variety of reactions that is internally consistent within the setting and actually makes sense.

One issue I have with this bit is specifically because of the supposed premise of this story: you'd think Harry would be aware of the bystander effect and know to ask specific people rather than just calling for volunteers from the crowd.

# ? Apr 25, 2018 10:26

Cardiovorax: Jun 5, 2011; I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

Xander77 posted:

The silver outline blasted back into the world, and said in the strange outside version of Harry's own voice, "Hermione Granger says," the blazing figure's voice became higher-pitched, "AHHHHHHHHH! "

I'll admit, this part genuinely made me laugh. The idea of whatshisname, Harry Potter's actor going "aaaah!" in deadpan falsetto is exactly the kind of joke the books would have made.

# ? Apr 25, 2018 14:54

21 Muns: Dec 10, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

Cardiovorax posted:

I'll admit, this part genuinely made me laugh. The idea of whatshisname, Harry Potter's actor going "aaaah!" in deadpan falsetto is exactly the kind of joke the books would have made.

Really weird in context of Hermione loving dying in the next chapter, though.

# ? Apr 25, 2018 15:09

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

Tiggum posted:

It could be an interesting direction to take if this particular story weren't already trying to go in sixteen hundred other directions at the same time.

quote:

One issue I have with this bit is specifically because of the supposed premise of this story: you'd think Harry would be aware of the bystander effect and know to ask specific people rather than just calling for volunteers from the crowd.

He does. I just didn't quote that part.

# ? Apr 25, 2018 16:50

Cardiovorax: Jun 5, 2011; I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

21 Muns posted:

Really weird in context of Hermione loving dying in the next chapter, though.

True enough. Taken by itself it's pretty funny, though. I'm reminded of that infamous "Snape in a dress" scene.

# ? Apr 25, 2018 17:03

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

Chapter 89: Time Pressure, Pt 2

There's a brief moment where the text is coy about what's happening, actually inserting blanks instead of descriptions (I wonder if that's just a writing choice, or some idea of Yud's? Does he believe in the strong version of the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis? Some form of neuro-linguistic programming bullshit?). Anyway, it doesn't really matter, because we get to the point quickly enough:

quote:

The levitated club moved backwards from the troll, from the terrace onto the wide-open floor beneath the ceiling; and the troll made a great prodigious leap that almost brought the club into its hands. Then the troll made another great leap as the club moved to one side; and the broomstick moved forwards and Harry jumped off and ran towards where Hermione Granger was lying in a pool of her own blood with her legs eaten away to the upper thighs.

Harry's hands tore open the healer's kit from his pouch, grabbed one of the self-tightening tourniquets, wrapped them around one ragged tooth-marked stump, his hands briefly slipping in the blood, they didn't tremble, there wasn't any allowance for his hands to tremble. As the tourniquet formed a complete loop it tightened hard and more blood came out, but then the bleeding stopped on that thigh-stump, and Harry turned to the other. Part of his mind was screaming, screaming, screaming and even the part of him picking up the other self-tightening tourniquet heard it, but that also wasn't allowed.

The two Weasley twins were shouting spells, one after another in rapid-fire casting that would have had Harry unconscious in sixty seconds, sometimes the twins shouted two spells simultaneously in perfect coordination, but most of the spells were disrupting in harmless showers of sparks against the troll's skin. As the other tourniquet tightened itself in another pulse of blood, Harry looked up at a "Diffindo!" / "Reducto! " that made the troll's vulnerable eyes explode in twin showers of vitreous humor, but the troll only bellowed once more, its eyes already reforming.

"Fire and acid! " Harry shouted. "Use fire or acid! "

"Fuego!" / "Incendio!" Harry heard, but he wasn't looking, he was reaching for the syringe of glowing orange liquid that was the oxygenating potion, pushing it into Hermione's neck at what Harry hoped was the carotid artery, to keep her brain alive even if her lungs or heart stopped, so long as her brain stayed intact everything else could be fixed, it had to be possible for magic to fix it, it had to be possible for magic to fix it, it had to be possible for magic to fix it, and Harry pushed the plunger of the syringe all the way down, creating a faint glow beneath the pale skin of her neck. Harry then pushed down on her chest, where her heart should be, hard compressions that he hoped was moving the oxygenated blood around to where it could reach her brain, even if her heart might have stopped beating, he hadn't actually thought to check her pulse.

The troll is specifically warded against a bunch of usual troll-killing stuff, which is why Hermione got chomped. The Weasleys pull the sword of Gryffyindor out of the sorting hat, but still get knocked out and leave Harry alone in the fight.

Quick fakeout about him summoning the willpower to Abra-Kadabra the troll, but instead he finally turns his dumb transfigured ring back into a rock in the middle of the troll's mouth, exploding its neck. Then he sticks his wand into the trolls head and acids it up, just to make sure.

quote:

Hermione's lips were moving, just a tiny bit but they were moving.

"your... fault..."

Time froze. Harry should have told her not to talk, to save her breath, only he couldn't unblock his lips.

Hermione drew in another breath, and her lips whispered, "Not your fault."

Then she exhaled, and closed her eyes.

Harry stared at her with his mouth half-open, his breath caught in his throat.

Harry can't believe Hermione Granger is loving dead.

quote:

"Oh, no," whispered Albus Dumbledore. Fawkes gave a sad, mournful croon.

"Bring her back."

There was silence on the terrace. Fred Weasley had risen up into the air at a gesture from Dumbledore's wand and was floating towards them, surrounded by a reassuring pink glow.

"Harry -" the old wizard began. His voice cracked. "Harry -"

"Have Fawkes cry on her or whatever. Hurry up." The voice that spoke sounded perfectly calm.

"I, I can't, Harry, it's too late, she's dead -"

"I don't want to hear about it. If it was me lying there, you'd pull some kind of amazing rabbit out of your hat and save me, right, because the hero isn't allowed to die before the story's over. Well, she's the hero too, so whatever you were saving for that extra-special occasion, just go ahead and use it now. I promise I'll pay you back."

"There isn't anything I can do! Her soul has departed, she's passed on!"

...

No.

I do not accept this.

There isn't any reason to accept it, not when there's magic in the world.

Harry would learn whatever he had to learn, invent whatever he had to invent, rip the knowledge of Salazar Slytherin from the Dark Lord's mind, discover the secret of Atlantis, open any gates or break any seals necessary, find his way to the root of all magic and reprogram it.

He would rip apart the foundations of reality itself to get Hermione Granger back.

quote:

Unseen by anyone, the Defense Professor's lips curved up in a thin smile. Despite its little ups and downs, on the whole this had been a surprisingly good day -

"HE IS HERE. THE ONE WHO WILL TEAR APART THE VERY STARS IN HEAVEN. HE IS HERE. HE IS THE END OF THE WORLD."

Not bad.

Xander77 fucked around with this message at 06:09 on May 16, 2018

# ? May 2, 2018 06:21

Cardiovorax: Jun 5, 2011; I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

I'd call it pretty bad that it took only six months for him to go from bratty little poo poo to "I'll kill the loving planet because one person I actually personally care about has died." Everyone who thought Harriezer couldn't get any worse? He officially just did.

# ? May 2, 2018 10:13

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

Yes. That is in fact the point. There's a reason why thousands of years of cultural history leave "I will destroy the foundations of the natural world and overcome death" to the villains of the story. MOR just hasn't made a good enough an argument, despite the sheer overwhelming volume of words it poured forth to actually change anyone's mind. Including, apparently, the author's.

Xander77 fucked around with this message at 12:42 on May 3, 2018

# ? May 2, 2018 10:57

Cardiovorax: Jun 5, 2011; I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

It's rather amazing how that actually ends up making Voldemort the hero of the story, seeing how it has been mentioned multiple times that the end of the story apparently involves Voldie making Harriezer swear not to destroy the world. It's like this story is a deconstruction of itself and never even noticed.

# ? May 2, 2018 11:07

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Cardiovorax posted:

It's rather amazing how that actually ends up making Voldemort the hero of the story, seeing how it has been mentioned multiple times that the end of the story apparently involves Voldie making Harriezer swear not to destroy the world. It's like this story is a deconstruction of itself and never even noticed.

not only does he make him swear an Unbreakable Vow to not destroy the world, it literally comes up like one day later in-universe that he would have almost done it

# ? May 2, 2018 22:02

Tunicate: May 15, 2012

Cardiovorax posted:

I'd call it pretty bad that it took only six months for him to go from bratty little poo poo to "I'll kill the loving planet because one person I actually personally care about has died." Everyone who thought Harriezer couldn't get any worse? He officially just did.

isn't that the arc of shinji in the (latest?) evangelion remake

# ? May 2, 2018 22:18

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Tunicate posted:

isn't that the arc of shinji in the (latest?) evangelion remake

From what I know secondhand Shinji tries to save the world but ends up making it worse or something, since even a spine transplant doesn't mean the story's gonna stop having him be a fuckup.

# ? May 3, 2018 03:41

Milkfred E. Moore: Aug 27, 2006; 'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'

Shinji causes Third Impact early the one time he tries to 'man up'. He flat out says something like: "I don't care what happens to me or the world, I'm going to save Rei!"

However, it appears to be stopped before the world completely ends. But when he wakes up [x amount of time] later, the world is utterly devastated, half the cast is dead, and everyone blames him. The exact circumstances are dubious but it seems unlikely he was the guilty party.

# ? May 3, 2018 04:00

MikeJF: Dec 20, 2003

He says 'I don't even care what happens to the world', but he doesn't actually know what he's doing will be actively risking destroying it, it's more of a general statement of not giving a poo poo anymore.

MikeJF fucked around with this message at 04:10 on May 3, 2018

# ? May 3, 2018 04:08

Cardiovorax: Jun 5, 2011; I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

Hey. Hey guys.

You know what's better than AIs or Harry Potter fanfiction? Harry Potter fanfiction written by an AI! I present to you: Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like A Large Pile Of Ash!

(Featuring Botnik Studios)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-uDnlGJRdk

# ? May 3, 2018 12:54

Tunicate: May 15, 2012

https://twitter.com/alyankovic/status/994385777248296960

# ? May 11, 2018 08:44

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Tunicate posted:

https://twitter.com/alyankovic/status/994385777248296960

this owns so hard

now Weird Al should release a Roko's Basilisk-themed Grimes parody

(please don't Weird Al I have too much respect for you but also would not be surprised if you were a goon)

# ? May 11, 2018 20:16

Liquid Communism: Mar 9, 2004; коммунизм хранится в яичках

Tunicate posted:

isn't that the arc of shinji in the (latest?) evangelion remake

IIRC (it's been several years) the implication is that Shinji in the current remake has started to become conscious that he's tried to save the world and failed repeatedly. Always with worse consequences to the three or four people he cares about at all each time.

He's at the point where ceasing to exist is deeply appealing.

# ? May 12, 2018 14:58

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Oh man I discovered this guy after I stumbled across him on reddit, and posted his stuff to one of the "badacademic" subs (which are one of the few islands on reddit that aren't trash). God he's so loving pretentious.

https://www.reddit.com/r/BadSocialS...e&submit_title=

Oh here's my old post. I came across big yud in the wild and couldn't stop laughing and just had to share his amazing insights about personality psychology and how it pertains to us mean internet trolls.

Butter Activities fucked around with this message at 06:38 on May 15, 2018

# ? May 15, 2018 06:20

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

Chapter 90: Roles, Pt 1

quote:

Dumbledore's face was already streaked with tears. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Harry, I'm so sorry, but you have to stop this." The Headmaster took Harry by the shoulders and pulled on him.

Harry allowed himself to be turned away from Hermione's body, walked forward as the Headmaster pushed him away from the blood. The Cooling Charm would buy him time. Hours at least, maybe days if he could manage to keep casting the spell on Hermione or if they stored her body somewhere cold.

Now there was time to think.

quote:

Albus gave her a brief space to weep; and then told her that Harry Potter, who had watched Miss Granger die, had seated himself outside the infirmary storeroom where Miss Granger's remains were being kept, refusing to move from the spot, and telling anyone who spoke to him to go away so he could think.

The only thing that had elicited any reaction from the boy was when Fawkes had tried to sing to him; Harry Potter had shrieked at the phoenix not to do that, his feelings were real, he didn't want magic trying to heal them like they were a disease. After that Fawkes had refused to sing again.

Albus thought that she might have the best chance of reaching Harry Potter now.

So she had to pull herself together, and clean up her face; there would be time later for private grief, when her surviving children no longer needed her.

quote:

"Harry," she said, hardly even thinking as she said it, "there's nothing you could have done -"

Something flickered in Harry's expression. His eyes seemed to focus on her for the first time.

"Nothing I could have done? " Harry's voice rose on the last word. "Nothing I could have DONE? I've lost track of how many different ways I could've saved her! If I'd asked to have us all given communications mirrors! If I'd insisted on Hermione being taken out of Hogwarts and put in a school that isn't insane! If I'd snuck out immediately instead of trying to argue with normal people! If I'd remembered the Patronus earlier! If I'd thought through possible emergencies and trained myself to think about Patronuses earlier! Even at the very last minute it might not have been too late! I killed the troll and turned to her and she was still ALIVE and I just knelt next to her listening to her last words like an IDIOT instead of casting the Patronus again and calling Dumbledore to send Fawkes! Or if I'd just approached the whole problem from a different angle - if I'd looked for a student with a Time-Turner to send a message back in time before I found out about anything happening to her, instead of ending up with an outcome that can't be altered - I asked the Headmaster to go back and save Hermione and then fake everything, fake the dead body, edit everyone's memories, but Dumbledore said that he tried something like that once and it didn't work and he lost another friend instead.

quote:

"Of course it's my fault. There's no one else here who could be responsible for anything."

"No! You-Know-Who killed Hermione!" She was hardly aware of what she was saying, that she hadn't screened the room against who might be listening. "Not you! No matter what else you could've done, it's not you who killed her, it was Voldemort! If you can't believe that you'll go mad, Harry!"

"That's not how responsibility works, Professor." Harry's voice was patient, like he was explaining things to a child who was certain not to understand. He wasn't looking at her anymore, just staring off at the wall to her right side. "When you do a fault analysis, there's no point in assigning fault to a part of the system you can't change afterward, it's like stepping off a cliff and blaming gravity. Gravity isn't going to change next time. There's no point in trying to allocate responsibility to people who aren't going to alter their actions. Once you look at it from that perspective, you realize that allocating blame never helps anything unless you blame yourself, because you're the only one whose actions you can change by putting blame there. That's why Dumbledore has his room full of broken wands. He understands that part, at least."

Bad as morals, but equally bad as fault analysis, because people aren't actually gravity.

quote:

Harry's eyes flicked back to her. "You're responsible?" There was a tightness in the voice. "You want me to hold you responsible, Professor McGonagall?"

She raised her chin and nodded. It would be better, by far, than Harry blaming himself.

The boy pushed himself up from where he was sitting on the floor, and took a step forward. "All right, then," Harry said in a monotone. "I tried to do the sensible thing, when I saw Hermione was missing and that none of the Professors knew. I asked for a seventh-year student to go with me on a broomstick and protect me while we looked for Hermione. I asked for help. I begged for help. And nobody helped me. Because you gave everyone an absolute order to stay in one place or they'd be expelled, no excuses. No matter what else Dumbledore gets wrong, he at least thinks of his students as people, not animals that have to be herded into a pen and kept from wandering out. You knew you weren't any good at military thinking, your first idea was to have us walking through the hallways, you knew some students there were better than you at strategy and tactics, and you still nailed us down in one room without any discretionary judgment. So when something you didn't foresee happened and it would've made perfect sense to send out a seventh-year student on a fast broom to look for Hermione Granger, the students knew you wouldn't understand or forgive. They weren't afraid of the troll, they were afraid of you. The discipline, the conformity, the cowardice that you instilled in them delayed me just long enough for Hermione to die. Not that I should've tried asking for help from normal people, of course, and I will change and be less stupid next time. But if I were dumb enough to allocate responsibility to someone who isn't me, that's what I'd say."

Tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"That's what I'd tell you if I thought you could be responsible for anything. But normal people don't choose on the basis of consequences, they just play roles. There's a picture in your head of a stern disciplinarian and you do whatever that picture would do, whether or not it makes any sense. A stern disciplinarian would order the students back to their rooms, even if there was a troll roaming the hallways. A stern disciplinarian would order students not to leave the Hall on pain of expulsion. And the little picture of Professor McGonagall that you have in your head can't learn from experience or change herself, so there isn't any point to this conversation. People like you aren't responsible for anything, people like me are, and when we fail there's no one else to blame."

Well, at least we get to the problem Yud has with McGonnagal on a level that's a bit more complex that "women in authority, the bitches". She's a representative of everyone in traditional authority that lack the ~~imagination~~ gullibiltiy to buy into Yud's bullshit.

quote:

Albus's brows rose. "Your role in this disaster was tiny, your decisions quite sensible at the time, and it is only Harry Potter's perfect hindsight that lets him imagine otherwise. Surely you are wiser than to blame yourself for this, Minerva."

She knew perfectly well that Albus would be placing a picture of Hermione in that awful room of his, that it would occupy a place of honor. Albus would hold himself responsible, she was certain, even though he hadn't even been in Hogwarts at the time. But not her.

quote:

"I recall an offer you once made to me, some months ago," said the Defense Professor. "Do you want someone intelligent to talk to? I will understand if you are not pleasant to be around."

The boy shook his head again. "No, thank you."

"Well, then," said the Defense Professor. "What about someone who is powerful and not particularly bound by naive scruples?"

There was a hesitation, and then the boy once more shook his head.

"Someone who is knowledgeable of much secret lore, and magics that some might consider to be unnatural?"

There was a slight narrowing of the boy's eyes, so imperceptible that someone else might not have -

"I see," said the Defense Professor. "Go ahead and ask me about it, then. I give you my word that I will repeat nothing of it to the others."

The boy took a while to speak, and when he did it was in a cracked voice.

"I mean to bring Hermione back. Because there isn't an afterlife, and I'm not about to just let her - just not be -"

The boy pressed his hands over his face, and when he withdrew them, he once more seemed as dispassionate as the man standing in the corner.

The Defense Professor's eyes were abstract, and faintly puzzled.

"How?" the man said finally.

"However I have to."

quote:

"Magic. Where does it come from?"

"I do not know," said the man.

"And neither does anyone else?"

"Oh, the situation is far worse than that, Mr. Potter. There is hardly a scholar of the esoteric who has not unraveled the nature of magic, and every one of them believes something different."

"Where do new spells come from? I keep reading about someone who invented a spell to do something-or-other but there's no mention of how."

A shrug of robed shoulders. "Where do new books come from, Mr. Potter? Those who read many books sometimes become able to write them in turn. How? No one knows."

"There are books on how to write -"

"Reading them will not make you a famous playwright. After all such advice is accounted for, what remains is mystery. The invention of new spells is a similar mystery of purer form." The man's head tilted. "Such endeavors are dangerous. The saying is that one should either not have children, or else wait until after they are grown. There is a reason why so many innovators seem to hail from Gryffindor, rather than Ravenclaw as might be expected."

"And the more powerful sorts of magics?" the boy said.

"A legendary wizard might invent one sacrificial ritual in his life, and pass on the knowledge to his heirs. To try inventing five such would be suicide. That is why wizards of true power are those who have acquired ancient lore."

This is so amazingly dumb. I mentioned beffore that "wizards don't really understand how magic works" is an incredibly dumb thing to append to the HP cannon, and "yeah, spells are created.... somehow, without any understanding involved" is even dumber.

quote:

"And Mr. Potter must be kept out of the Restricted Section at all costs."

She stared at the Defense Professor, her heart suddenly in her throat.

Professor Quirrell continued speaking. "You will not tell the boy that I have said this much to you. You will confirm to Flitwick and Vector that the boy is to be diverted by the usual evasions if he asks precocious questions about spell creation. And though it is not my own area of expertise, Deputy Headmistress, if there is any way you can imagine to convince the boy to stop sinking further into his grief and madness - any way at all to undo the resolutions he is coming to - then I suggest you resort to it immediately."

# ? May 16, 2018 07:56

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

Xander77 posted:

Well, at least we get to the problem Yud has with McGonnagal on a level that's a bit more complex that "women in authority, the bitches". She's a representative of everyone in traditional authority that lack the ~~imagination~~ gullibiltiy to buy into Yud's bullshit.

But it's not even the way she's portrayed in the source material. Sure, kids are scared of being caught by her doing the wrong thing but she's not inflexible or unreasonable about it. And it's only school. Kids still break the rules, either because they don't think they'll get caught or they think they have a reasonable excuse.

Chapter 90: Roles, Pt 1 posted:

She knew perfectly well that Albus would be placing a picture of Hermione in that awful room of his, that it would occupy a place of honor. Albus would hold himself responsible, she was certain, even though he hadn't even been in Hogwarts at the time. But not her.

So everyone is blaming only themself and I think we're supposed to believe that's a good thing? We're not supposed to go "oh look, they're all making the same mistake that they're advising each other not to make, how amusing" we're supposed to think "yes, these people are right to feel this way".

Chapter 90: Roles, Pt 1 posted:

A shrug of robed shoulders. "Where do new books come from, Mr. Potter? Those who read many books sometimes become able to write them in turn. How? No one knows."

This is really dumb. People know how to write. People know what it takes. There's even extensive analysis of what makes books good or bad. If you're not good at writing then there are plenty of resources that will help you to improve. It's somewhat subjective, but there are lots of things you can do to improve your writing that very few people would disagree with. The argument that "reading [books on writing] will not make you a famous playwright" is even dumber, because just reading the book is only step one. Step two is taking it in and step three is putting it into practice. Reading a book on golf technique won't make you a better golfer, but if it's a good book and it's suited to your skill level and you remember the information in it and you take the time to practice then you will get better at golf. And adding the extra layer of fame on top just makes it an even worse argument, because fame is not a good measure of quality or skill.

# ? May 16, 2018 13:08

Liquid Communism: Mar 9, 2004; коммунизм хранится в яичках

Tiggum posted:

This is really dumb. People know how to write. People know what it takes. There's even extensive analysis of what makes books good or bad. If you're not good at writing then there are plenty of resources that will help you to improve. It's somewhat subjective, but there are lots of things you can do to improve your writing that very few people would disagree with. The argument that "reading [books on writing] will not make you a famous playwright" is even dumber, because just reading the book is only step one. Step two is taking it in and step three is putting it into practice. Reading a book on golf technique won't make you a better golfer, but if it's a good book and it's suited to your skill level and you remember the information in it and you take the time to practice then you will get better at golf. And adding the extra layer of fame on top just makes it an even worse argument, because fame is not a good measure of quality or skill.

It is entirely consistent with Yud's worldview though. He seems to actively believe that Smart People Are Born Smart, and hence just know all the things without needing extensive study. Much like how he has zero formal education in computer science or any other relevant academic field (or academics in general, having not attended high school much less university) but is an Artificial Intelligence Expert.

That might be the most hilarious thing to me. Hermione Granger, age 12, has more actual education than Yud.

Liquid Communism fucked around with this message at 13:37 on May 16, 2018

# ? May 16, 2018 13:34

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

...well, I didn't know Yud hadn't gone to high school. I just assumed he had half a B.A. in Business or something under his belt.

# ? May 16, 2018 20:48

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

Tiggum posted:

But it's not even the way she's portrayed in the source material. Sure, kids are scared of being caught by her doing the wrong thing but she's not inflexible or unreasonable about it. And it's only school. Kids still break the rules, either because they don't think they'll get caught or they think they have a reasonable excuse.

Yud never even went to school, so it's not like he has the excuse of some hated nightmare of a teacher to project onto McG - he just has an idea thereof he's fixated upon.

Which just about sums everything up.

# ? May 16, 2018 21:38

Yak Shaves Dot Com: Jan 5, 2009

Tiggum posted:

This is really dumb. People know how to write. People know what it takes. There's even extensive analysis of what makes books good or bad. If you're not good at writing then there are plenty of resources that will help you to improve. It's somewhat subjective, but there are lots of things you can do to improve your writing that very few people would disagree with. The argument that "reading [books on writing] will not make you a famous playwright" is even dumber, because just reading the book is only step one. Step two is taking it in and step three is putting it into practice. Reading a book on golf technique won't make you a better golfer, but if it's a good book and it's suited to your skill level and you remember the information in it and you take the time to practice then you will get better at golf. And adding the extra layer of fame on top just makes it an even worse argument, because fame is not a good measure of quality or skill.

We have evidence that Yud knows that he has no idea how to write. Now if only he could just stop.

# ? May 16, 2018 21:49

Jazerus: May 24, 2011

quirrell just doesn't want to explain spell composition theory to dumb little eliezarry, imo

# ? May 16, 2018 21:50

Grace Baiting: Jul 20, 2012; Audi famam illius;
Cucurrit quaeque
Tetigit destruens.

Xander77 posted:

Yud never even went to school, so it's not like he has the excuse of some hated nightmare of a teacher to project onto McG - he just has an idea thereof he's fixated upon.

Which just about sums everything up.

# ? May 16, 2018 21:55

NihilCredo: Jun 6, 2011; iram omni possibili modo preme:
plus una illa te diffamabit, quam multæ virtutes commendabunt

Jazerus posted:

quirrell just doesn't want to explain spell composition theory to dumb little eliezarry, imo

Why are you giving the author so much credit? It's obviously just Big Yud making a really loving terrible analogy because he's a drooling moron.

Seriously, where could you possibly have gotten the idea that Quirrell could be misdirecting here?

quote:

You will confirm to Flitwick and Vector that the boy is to be diverted by the usual evasions if he asks precocious questions about spell creation.

# ? May 16, 2018 23:55

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# ? May 22, 2024 01:27

Xander77: Apr 6, 2009; Fuck it then. For another pit sandwich and some 'tater salad, I'll post a few more.

As an aside - is there anything in cannon to support the notion that SS himself and Slytherin house were ever anything but a bunch of KKK rip-offs? That is, was there anything to be "corrupted" from to begin with?

# ? May 17, 2018 11:49

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Book Barn > Let's Read: "Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality"

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