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gimme the GOD drat candy posted:there's no correlation between age of the mother and autism, but there sure as gently caress is with downs. it's very well documented. what's the difference they're both sadbrains
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Oct 22, 2017 22:21
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Scientastic posted:Yes, parents immediately stop spending any money on themselves the moment they have children. I haven't bought myself anything in six years. Edgar Allan Pwned posted:i think i want kids but i also cant imagine being done with spending all my money on myself
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Oct 22, 2017 22:28
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Shut up, Lena
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Oct 22, 2017 22:29
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myDad posted:Shut up, Lena Lick my butthole bitch 
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Oct 22, 2017 22:30
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Spinster posted:Only have kids if you are totally totally sure. Stay conscious of the overwhelming propaganda and societal pressure to breed and make the right decision for you. Amen. Got no problem with kids or people having kids. But god drat make sure you really want them. So many people have them because "well that's what you do". Nah. And then you say "Well we're not having kids" and it's a weird shock to many people or other couples you interact with. And believe me, I'm not trying to say "wow be sensitive to people who don't want kids", I just mean that I didn't really expect that, after getting married I'd get as many odd looks from people my own generation who just genuinely are like "we've never considered this as an option for married people" and I roll in some fairly normal circles (ie not the "sex is for making more babies!" religious style weirdos type of thing). Big Beef City fucked around with this message at 23:10 on Oct 22, 2017 |
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Oct 22, 2017 23:02
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RocktheCaulk posted:I’m pretty sure my infant is trying to kill me and I’m only 30, I think. I really am having trouble remembering because I haven’t slept in a year and a half. I don’t remember much about years 1-2.5 although I am somewhat sure I did an ok job. Hold in there, eventually the sweet embrace of death will take you.
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Oct 22, 2017 23:07
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imo this works out well because autistic children are our greatest resource
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Oct 22, 2017 23:24
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For the love of god, make sure you've gotten your own personal poo poo sorted out as best you can before taking the leap.
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Oct 23, 2017 00:23
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I'm not a parent, so I could be talking out of my rear end, but I think college educated parents worry too much about trying to be superparents these days. The biggest thing is just not to be a lovely parent, and once you clear that bar and hit average I bet you get diminishing returns on your investment. Especially if you stay married and have two parents who at least kind of give a poo poo working together.
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Oct 23, 2017 00:28
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Don't do it if you have an interesting life of hobbies, sports, activities, travel, etc. Once you have a kid, that is all over. If you just sit around all day anyway, then yeah go ahead. Marry a woman who is cool with traditional gender roles. Progressive women will bitch at you all day every day for not doing enough around the house/with the kid(s). My wife and I decided to stop at 1 because it has been so challenging for us and our marriage. We love our daughter and want to provide a great life for her, and we won't be able to do that if we are spread too thin to maintain our sanity and love for one another. Only children score higher on IQ tests and the SATs, and have higher incomes as adults. Siblings can be great, but a lot of it is rose-colored glasses looking back. Many sibling relationships during childhood are testy and combative, or even downright traumatizing and abusive.
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Oct 23, 2017 00:39
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Unless you have kids back to back, they probably won’t have much to relate about if they’re spread out in age. My closest sibling is 7 years younger than me, so I was always 1-2 steps in life ahead of him, so we never really got along or could relate about anything. Good job mom 
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Oct 23, 2017 00:49
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proctorbot posted:Don't do it if you have an interesting life of hobbies, sports, activities, travel, etc. Once you have a kid, that is all over. If you just sit around all day anyway, then yeah go ahead. How old is your daughter? I want my wife to come to your conclusion but I think she doesn't find parenthood as draining and limiting as I do.
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Oct 23, 2017 01:30
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proctorbot posted:Don't do it if you have an interesting life of hobbies, sports, activities, travel, etc. Once you have a kid, that is all over. If you just sit around all day anyway, then yeah go ahead. lol, what is this poo poo? We've literally traveled Europe and Asia with our kids every summer since birth. What the hell is wrong with you that you think people haven't been having a blast with their kids since the beginning of time?
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Oct 23, 2017 01:40
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Spinster posted:Only have kids if you are totally totally sure. Stay conscious of the overwhelming propaganda and societal pressure to breed and make the right decision for you. Its always a relief to read posts like this, plus my parents can't give me poo poo because all their other children gave them grandkids. Of course I am the only child from their union so I still feel a little bad.
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Oct 23, 2017 01:43
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proctorbot posted:Don't do it if you have an interesting life of hobbies, sports, activities, travel, etc. Once you have a kid, that is all over. If you just sit around all day anyway, then yeah go ahead. SAT scores lmao. are you still in highschool. is she one of those teachers who hosed top of her middle school geometry class.
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Oct 23, 2017 02:53
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spacetoaster posted:lol, what is this poo poo? We've literally traveled Europe and Asia with our kids every summer since birth. What the hell is wrong with you that you think people haven't been having a blast with their kids since the beginning of time? they're lazy and they're whiners 
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Oct 23, 2017 02:54
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*computer janitor that never moved or did anything interesting before in his life*: waaahhh now that i have kids i don't have any fun!!!!!! 
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Oct 23, 2017 02:55
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spacetoaster posted:lol, what is this poo poo? We've literally traveled Europe and Asia with our kids every summer since birth. What the hell is wrong with you that you think people haven't been having a blast with their kids since the beginning of time? Well, travel, sure. I no longer have time to train for marathons and triathalons, or study new languages, or practice new instruments with enough regularly to become proficient, or work on side projects. Instead it's work -> dinner -> play time -> bath time -> story time -> bedtime -> speak to my wife for about 10 minutes -> pass out from exhaustion. Then do it again. Sure it's rewarding in a lot of ways but dont pretend their aren't sacrifices.
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Oct 23, 2017 06:52
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proctorbot posted:Don't do it if you have an interesting life of hobbies, sports, activities, travel, etc. Once you have a kid, that is all over. If you just sit around all day anyway, then yeah go ahead. Your sound pretty unhappy and insecure tbh.
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Oct 23, 2017 07:43
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proctorbot posted:Marry a woman who is cool with traditional gender roles. Progressive women will bitch at you all day every day for not doing enough around the house/with the kid(s). Of all the poo poo you said, this is the most ridiculous. Just share the loving chores with someone you married as an equal, you Neanderthal gently caress. Do you want your daughter to be in a "traditional gender role" cleaning up after some lazy toad who thinks his wife should be a servant?
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Oct 23, 2017 09:02
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proctorbot posted:Don't do it if you have an interesting life of hobbies, sports, activities, travel, etc. Once you have a kid, that is all over. If you just sit around all day anyway, then yeah go ahead. *Bellowing into bullhorn* retarded loving loser
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Oct 23, 2017 09:25
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i got married on my 29th birthday and it was a good decision so far she's middle class and I married up
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Oct 23, 2017 09:35
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Mermaid Autopsy posted:lol if you don't want to release your soul from the wheel of dharma and cease to exist on this gay earth I know a guy who said he could have me reincarnated as a chad. That sounds p.sweet
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Oct 23, 2017 09:36
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ditty bout my clitty posted:I know a guy who said he could have me reincarnated as a chad. That sounds p.sweet For every nice guy, there is an even more pathetic nice guy to whom you are his Chad. Think about it.
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Oct 23, 2017 09:38
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Smythe posted:For every nice guy, there is an even more pathetic nice guy to whom you are his Chad. Think about it. That’s true, I don’t wanna get ripped off
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Oct 23, 2017 09:41
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proctorbot posted:Well, travel, sure. I no longer have time to train for marathons and triathalons, or study new languages, or practice new instruments with enough regularly to become proficient, or work on side projects. Instead it's work -> dinner -> play time -> bath time -> story time -> bedtime -> speak to my wife for about 10 minutes -> pass out from exhaustion. Then do it again. Sure it's rewarding in a lot of ways but dont pretend their aren't sacrifices. Were you really doing all that poo poo before your daughter? It just seems somewhat hard to believe that you were leading this amazing, self-actualizing life where your schedule was work -> dinner -> study new language -> train for marathon -> practice oboe -> work on side projects -> make sweet love to wife until dawn. How old is your daughter, by the way? I would think many of those activities will come back into your life once she's a little older, if you want them to.
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Oct 23, 2017 11:34
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Little kids cheering on their parents at the end of a half marathon (or whatever) is the cutest thing in the world to me.
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Oct 23, 2017 17:04
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I don't ever want to be a parent, but I'm pretty bummed that I don't think I'll ever be an uncle either since that seems like a good way to get a lot of the fun parts without having to change diapers or sacrifice your whole life to taking care of another human being. On the other hand, middle aged dating is full of single moms, so I guess I'll have to endure more lovely kids than my brother could ever produce anyway.
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Oct 23, 2017 17:19
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proctorbot posted:Well, travel, sure. I no longer have time to train for marathons and triathalons, or study new languages, or practice new instruments with enough regularly to become proficient, or work on side projects. Instead it's work -> dinner -> play time -> bath time -> story time -> bedtime -> speak to my wife for about 10 minutes -> pass out from exhaustion. Then do it again. Sure it's rewarding in a lot of ways but dont pretend their aren't sacrifices. Ok, I guess marathon training would take a hit, but I still lift weights an hour a day with no problem. Most gyms have child care just for parent who want to work out. Studying new languages is even better with kids because you do a joint program. I'm doing Latin right now with my kids and will follow it up with Greek. And I involve my kids in my projects (changing the oil in the car, painting bathroom, etc). I see my kids as an opportunity to do all kinds of cool stuff and learn new things (and turn them into really cool people who will do cool things). But you're probably more melancholic and I'm sanguine.
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Oct 23, 2017 17:22
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trolling AI: I WOULD PREFER TO HAVE KIDS... BUT UNFORTUNATELY <BEEP> THERE ARE NO GOOD MEN LEFT. goons: There's plenty of good men left like me for instance! gaaAAAAAAAHHHH! *dies of heart of attack*
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Oct 23, 2017 17:24
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spacetoaster posted:Ok, I guess marathon training would take a hit, but I still lift weights an hour a day with no problem. Most gyms have child care just for parent who want to work out. This seems like a healthy attitude. Our grocery store has on site child care, and I'm pretty sure the Ikea does as well. I doubt they're equipped to handle a new born, but one would imagine offering child care would be a great service to offer and give parents a reason to go to your place instead of a competitor.
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Oct 23, 2017 18:22
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i sure hope so op because i STILL haven't met anyone worthy of me
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Oct 23, 2017 18:26
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A Strange Aeon posted:
With a newborn you're only dealing with that for 12 months, tops. By two my kids were potty trained and could get their own cup of water (that's the reason behind a lot of interruptions). You just have to be willing to spend the extra time and effort early on to teach them things. The worst attitude (in my opinion) is to just do everything for your kid because it's faster and less hassle (for now).
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Oct 23, 2017 18:28
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Lol just lol if you aren't berthing fully literate and ambulatory youths straight out of you or your partners womb pipe. Just. loving. Lol.
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Oct 23, 2017 18:32
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first born at 23 last born at 29, sorry about getting your rear end kicked up and down the street chasing a 3yr old when you're pushing 50 and i'm chillin w/ kids in college or whatever
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Oct 23, 2017 18:34
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if i make it that far
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Oct 23, 2017 18:36
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Daddies in this thread, how come you got kids? Did you suddenly feel an urge to become a father? To foster a child? How did it happen?
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Oct 23, 2017 18:39
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Fartbox posted:Daddies in this thread, how come you got kids? Did you suddenly feel an urge to become a father? To foster a child? How did it happen? having kids owns and is a lot better than aimlessly drinking myself to death
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Oct 23, 2017 18:41
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Careful Drums posted:first born at 23 last born at 29, sorry about getting your rear end kicked up and down the street chasing a 3yr old when you're pushing 50 and i'm chillin w/ kids in college or whatever Yeah, in retrospect starting earlier would have taken some of the pressure off but we had a house and good jobs before our daughter came, which was good. And my folks were retired by the time we did, so they could move out to where we live to help, which wouldn't have been possible earlier.
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Oct 23, 2017 18:42
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Fartbox posted:Daddies in this thread, how come you got kids? Did you suddenly feel an urge to become a father? To foster a child? How did it happen? I want the kind of relationship my parents share with me, it's really pretty simple. I want to talk to my daughter about life and hear her opinions on things, share a drink with her, cheer her on in her activities, all that. Have her visit over holidays once she's moved out. None of which is possible without having a kid.
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Oct 23, 2017 18:45
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