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Back in September 2012, Fire Opal Media ran a Kickstarter project to create 13 True Ways, an expansion book for the new 13th Age RPG. One of the available pledge levels was Dungeon Maker, which... well, here's their pitch: DUNGEON MAKER - Pitch a dungeon or flying realm to Rob & Jonathan and they will sculpt your concept into a dungeon or flying ream to be included in the expansion book, 13 True Ways. Your name will appear in the credits of the book, you'll get both books (signed), the 13th Age dice set, postcards, and a 13th Age specialty T-Shirt with your dungeon/flying realm. You will be the ONLY one with this T-Shirt! You will also receive art associated to the dungeon or flying realm signed by Lee Moyers and Aaron McConnell. Red_Mage suggested that goons pool their resources together and create an 'Awful Dungeon', and a bunch of us decided to go in. Miraculously, Red_Mage didn't take the money and run this time, and we have the pledge locked in. However, after he pulled his disappearing act with Nightfall, no one had any of the cards in hand. Rob Heinsoo's about to start working on that part of the book so I figured we should get our asses in gear and send him a coherent pitch. Here's the list of the people who contributed: Red_Mage posted:
Let's use this space to figure out some sort of unified pitch. My preference would be to avoid the dumbass memes and injokes that were starting to choke the brainstorming last time, we're more creative than that. First question for the other contributors - do we want this open to general input from everyone?
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Jan 24, 2014 17:15
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With apologies in terms of length, I present (with brief editorial asides) my attempt to help unfuck the Awful Dungeon from Red_Mage. We'll start here, because his concern is still legitimate. moths posted:I'm just worried it'll be full of self referential in jokes and memes. I don't really think anyone wants pusher / shover golems or a green goatse sculpture with a sphere of annihilation in it. JoshTheStampede posted:I don't want the goatse statue but I sort of do want golems that are here to protect you from the terrible secret of space. Evil Mastermind posted:Honestly, all I want is for the living dungeon to be the 13th Age equivalent of the Tarrasque; a huge, immortal monstrosity whose origins are lost in time, roaming in the world devouring monsters and settlements to repopulate itself as adventures crawl around inside it, killing its inhabitants. fosborb posted:I can do the last $25. Swagger Dagger posted:So a dungeon Koru Behemoth? Kenderama posted:Also money sent. GrandpaPants posted:We should probably just start with all the stupid SA/meme suggestions just to get it out of our system before discussing the actual good ideas. TG-Chrono posted:Money sent! Red_Mage posted:You are in a deep pit of despair, Falling into Ian's well was probably a stupid decision, although not listening to the people shouting help from above fills you with a smug sense of self satisfaction. You see the subterreanean passages here are well trodden, life is further evidenced by a sign crudely affixed to the dirt wall. animaCartographer posted:Here's a random idea I had for the dungeon. This is more so bullet points rather than some kind of lore, but hell, lets get these ideas rolling. SageNytell posted:$30.00 sent to Red_Mage. We're doing this loving thing. PublicOpinion posted:Maybe we should make it the Offal Dungeon instead. Just otyughs, otyughs as far as the eye can see. fosborb posted:So thinking about a section of the dungeon that's full of traps. Alien Rope Burn posted:I hate to contribute to choice anxiety, but I'd also point out that the $500 can build a dungeon... or a flying realm. What's a flying realm? Well, the playtest details them; they're literally locations in the sky that float around for various reasons, from mysterious floating dungeons to airships to pieces of other worlds. ZenMasterBullshit posted:I kind of love the idea of a huge floating abandoned airship that's basically a drifting dungeon filled with the ghosts of the crew and whatever killed them. Tollymain posted:What if the dungeon with the sunlight puzzles and poo poo had plant life growing in there that you could magically cause to grow or burn up using the light and various magical mirrors and lenses and poo poo? Like climbable vines and sapling-choked doorways and other more magical poo poo that's too creative for me to come up with? animaCartographer posted:Oh man I totally did not think of growing plants. What if there was also irrigation channels? These channels could be controlled and altered but some required the light to turn the mechanisms or open certain key hatches? moths posted:A previous Age's flying doomsday device populated by ghosts of the crew and the golem and construct crew that killed them - because they were primarily instructed to maintain peace. Equal parts Dr Strangelove, the Doomsday Machine, There Will Come Soft Rains, and I, Robot. Illvillainy posted:Unfornately, I think that the Crusader's Battle Barge is too similar an idea. I basically read it to be a Space Hulk but with demons instead of genestealers. Kenderama posted:How about a flying realm that at one time housed one of the greatest circuses and carnivals of the Dragon Empire, but after being wiped out by the Wizard King's turning of the Iron Sea. moths posted:I was thinking the doomsday device would be a whole floating realm. I mean, if you're going to wipe out a planet it should to take something like that. City sized or larger. ack posted:I like this. JoshTheStampede posted:Yeah I would like to vote for the crumbling flying ziggurat filled with plant life, sunlight related puzzles, and undead. SageNytell posted:Undead plant life that maintains the puzzle traps! GrandpaPants posted:I'm imagining that the origin of this dungeon is some sort of necromancer type who became a bit self aware of certain trends in his chosen profession and realized that most undead attacks took place at night. Why, he thought, couldn't people feel the same feeling of perpetual fear in the daylight, perhaps with the added terror of being able to see the inexorable march of the undead upon you, knowing that dawn offers no sanctuary? fosborb posted:Thanks for not spending our cash on weed! Mustache Ride posted:I really think that this should not be limited to those that donated to the dungeon fund. Let everybody participate and submit ideas, they'll certainly contribute more than just the few of us. animaCartographer posted:I can see this having problems both ways to be honest. On one hand, us as contributors being the only ones to suggest ideas wont get us nearly as many and/or great ideas as having others outside those who paid will, but on the other, there is a reason why "too many cooks in the kitchen..." is a commonly used expression. Mustache Ride posted:That's easy, as Red_Mage is the only one talking with Rob and Johnathan, he can edit the ideas into something that's not stupid and/or full of memes. fosborb posted:Too many cooks in the kitchen is in reference to too many people deciding things. Just pitching and talking about ideas would be fine. moths posted:I really dislike the idea of formal voting on creative material, you just wind up with the blandest femshep and losingest chess moves. animaCartographer posted:I was actually going to suggest that it was once a collaboration project between the Priestess and the Elf queen as a form of political treaty. Due to the rival-like nature between the E.Q. and the High Druid however, as well as the High Druid's hate for the Empire (whom the priestess serves), the H.D. infected the temple with her plants. SageNytell posted:Dislodged prison moon from a world of sentient plants is intriguing - I think we could run with this, it's different but still fits within the larger strangeness of the setting. I like it. Overemotional Robot posted:I like the idea of involving some Icons in the back story. A flying plant dungeon is definitely ripe for some connection to the High Druid. Maybe it's some creation of hers that was corrupted by some force / another icon? moths posted:There could be some connection with the High Druid, but it doesn't necessarily need to be the current age's High Druid. Maybe a previous High Druid did something exceptionally stupid or wise. PublicOpinion posted:^ So yeah, what they said. JoshTheStampede posted:I think the plants should be the former guardians of the place - not its inhabitants, but that races equivalent of golems. When the caretaker race died, the plants grew out of control, and now wander the complex, while the ghosts of their former masters wander as well, unable to command the plant golems because... moths posted:Maybe tie the ghosts into the light / dark theme - the plants are only active during the day while the ghosts are dormant and vice versa. Like in Ladyhawke but crazier and with ghosts and plants. ZenMasterBullshit posted:If you do this you can easily do the 'tying in Icons' thing Overemotional was talking about. H.D. overruns temple, Lich King corrupts it. Alpha Phoenix posted:Brainstorm: ack posted:Allen this in the back of a flying/burrowing undead Koru behemoth, of course. Strontosaurus posted:I'm imagining the corpse of a colossal Venusaur charging up a solar beam aimed at the capital city of the Empire. fosborb posted:Bit more brainstorming. Sections of the dungeon are thematically linked by biome. And not just plant life -- each section of the dungeon has architecture, inhabitants, loot, traps and puzzles, etc that reflect that area's biome. The Lemondrop Dandy posted:I dig this spin on the idea quite a bit. Adding in the other idea about the Lich King meddling about with the ghosts and maybe a bit of the day/night changes could be really great. moths posted:Wasn't that Crisis 2's gimmick? I didn't play it but heard some reviews. Overemotional Robot posted:Playing off of this: what if the whole thing is made up of the ruins of different civilizations / cities / whatever that are all lashed together with these plant materials and floating (flying?) through the air? Different biomes could have specific cultural architecture and plant life (maybe from the area it was absorbed from?) and has been attached to this big floating plant tumor through its feelers. So maybe the whole thing is living or has some kind of sentience? ZenMasterBullshit posted:Oooh, maybe the whole thing is just patchworking as many different types of land onto itself so that it can become it's own world. Maybe it eventually starts producing new, unique life, which could be a huge draw for adventures/Icons. Heresiarch posted:I don't know if it was deliberate, but this sounds an awful lot like Halo. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing is debatable. Overemotional Robot posted:Mix one part of this: moths posted:If you detach it from any particular Icon you can invest all the Icons into it. Alpha Phoenix posted:I've never played halo [or crysis, as someone else mentioned] so I don't know. In honesty when people described it at first, I was thinking of Laputa and its custodians as far as the physical description goes, though probably we'd want to make it darker to fit the mood. Overemotional Robot posted:What if we had short (one to two sentences) reasonings for Icons to be involved? That way the DM could get ideas or pick and choose what he or she thinks would work best for the storyline. DalaranJ posted:This is an idea that fits perfectly with the spirit of 13th age. Mors Rattus posted:Is it a weapon? Weapons can be suborned and directed. Red_Mage posted:I think I can tie all this cool brainstorming together. Again once I hear back from Rob or someone else who is vaguely in charge, I will put together a draft submission. Overemotional Robot posted:There's 15 backers for this dungeon so if we include 2 of the extra Icons we know will be introduced with the core book we could each take one. TG-Chrono posted:This sounds like one of the ideas I was using in a campaign where an astral dragon was feasting on the corpse of a dead god and aiming to collide it with a place of import in the campaign. I too dig this a lot. ack posted:Orc Lord: Maybe the dungeon is the origin of the orc plague. Mustache Ride posted:Dwarf King: The flying realm is being held aloft by a previous' age Dwarven technology, and maybe the Dwarves would like to have that technology back, thank you very much. Maybe they've sent teams of engineers to investigate, but all have been lost. animaCartographer posted:What if the dead god is a old and forgotten Icon from a way earlier age, who has ascended/became a demi-god? SageNytell posted:Awful Dungeon Ideas: animaCartographer posted:I'm really liking this idea, everything from the light/dark mechanic of the plants to the icon relationship. Bedlamdan posted:The Prince of Shadows would be an easy one for this, I think. The Prince's interests are of a purely mercurial nature, but exceptional men make for exceptional avarice. The Prince wants every treasure in the Dungeon stripped bare, with every fleck of gold lining his pockets. Only then, when the Dungeon is firmly under his grasp, will he consider giving it over to the interests of other Icons... for a fair price, of course. Tollymain posted:Man I am so happy I got in on this now. That was totally worth my food fund for the month fosborb posted:The adventures arrive at the Wild Garden after the densest vegetation they've yet experienced. Overemotional Robot posted:I think having it be biomes like fosborb mentioned earlier would be cool. Maybe not tons of them, but two or three so we can throw different kinds of dwellers / animals / monsters / traps that reflect its region. SageNytell posted:OOH! Adventurers may be puzzled by the enormous, slightly curved trails they see snaking through the fields of vegetation and narrow corridors - until they chance upon one of the gigantic, flesh-devouring mutant tumbleweeds that inexorably roll through the labrynthine halls. Think Raiders of the Lost Ark giant rock, only it follows you and keeps trying to eat you. It could even be played for laughs as a recurring monster that keeps chasing players through increasingly less likely areas. fosborb posted:Is one of the new icons David Attenborough? Because that would work out really well for us. animaCartographer posted:I like the interconnected being idea. If people really want different biomes, the center of this dungeon could actually be a plant that has been dragging pieces of where ever it goes into itself katamari style, minus the ball. Greenplastic posted:Haven't contributed, so I have no say, but TESLA TREES moths posted:I may have stolen the idea for a dead god corpse dungeon from somewhere, I was driving home from work and couldn't shake feeling that I saw it before. So this is a better direction and I like it very much. LowellDND posted:Bug you say? Ive got bugs. moths posted:The eyes of four feral children and a decapitated pig's head reflect the bonfire. The flickering light and cloud of flies give the head an eerie semblance of life. A pair of flies lands on your shoulder. One quietly, desperately buzzes "you've got to get us out of here it's creeping us out." GrandpaPants posted:If we need a Macguffin for some plant-based dungeon that may or may not be taking place in the rotting corpse of an agricultural god, why not just let that Macguffin be the seed for a new god? I am sure ALL the Icons would have a reason to tend that particular garden. LowellDND posted:Botflies. if the party takes them, they realize they can feel them moving under their skin the next day. Uncle Khasim posted:This might be a bit late but is there any way we can fit Dread Emperor Norton into this somehow? Might be a bit hard to work an orphanage into the dungeon though. SageNytell posted:If you're going to start citing disgusting bugs for the dungeon, make sure to go with the experts on disgusting. Overemotional Robot posted:Not if the dungeon is a strange amalgam of structures and architecture held together by some pulsing plant thing a la Katamari Damacy. LowellDND posted:Awesome all around. Do we want to use sanity checks or illusions/mind games? I love me some silent hill/Asian horror. Overemotional Robot posted:I'm liking this a lot. Would it be too much to have a few instances in place where players could collect certain unique plants and carry them to different "biomes" to help with puzzles? Or would that kind of stuff be better left as general suggestions to the DM in the same style as most of the core 13th Age material? animaCartographer posted:The High Druid: Well other than the obvious "Its a plant mass, and therefore related to nature", She can either see it as one of two things. A. An abomination or B. A weapons to use against the Empire she oh so very much hates. LowellDND posted:So, Tesla Trees got me thinking along two lines - advanced tech and angry plants. This got me to the WoW instance Botanica http://www.wowwiki.com/Botanica , Plants vs Zombies, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plants_vs._Zombies and Expedition to the Barrier Peaks http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expedition_to_the_Barrier_Peaks Mustache Ride posted:I don't care much for a Life Ship, doesn't really fit well with the world theme in my opinion. LowellDND posted:go one step better. the ship *itself* is a corrupt parasite, except it devours planets, not humans. animaCartographer posted:With the above summery in mind, and using your ideas, I felt the need to add this to the lore. mepstein73 posted:So looking over today's posts, I've seen a lot of ideas regarding plants, undead, bugs, and lashed together bits of reality. For the record, I was the one who suggested to LowellDND that something 'Lord of the Flies' be on the table, as well as the player who picked up the first sword/shard of the war god in the game featuring those (Lifedrinker was a fuuun sword). In any case, I think the Plants vs Zombies thing could be very interesting. Funny thing though; what if the zombies WERE plants? I think we can cull this for useful ideas. I was quite partial to the undead plant dungeon concept with binary light puzzles, myself. SageNytell fucked around with this message at 17:17 on Jan 24, 2014 |
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Jan 24, 2014 17:15
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. Demonologist I am sorta eh about since that just sounds like it'll be Warlock-y and ugh Warlocks, but everyone loves Warlords!
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Dead Design Thread Go! I can't quote a dead thread so the formatting here is absolutely hosed. Apologies. Red_Mage 9/18/2012: I will update this OP with what I've compiled once I have approval from Fire Opal. But for now: Brainstorm about Awful Dungeon in here. Personally (and I will try to avoid letting personal preferences creep into my synthesis) I think that variety is the spice of life, so if we are going to do a biome dungeon where there are a variety of jumbled up themes and environs (think Metroid Fusion almost) we'd get something more people could use and enjoy. Fosborb 9/18/2012: My greatest concern is reconciling the awesome "Awful dungeon" name with the content thought up so far. There's no link between them right now, but I'd really like to keep the Awful name. Tollymain 9/18/2012: Long ago in an earlier age, the Dwarves had a god of the forge and fire and sun. No, not their current forge god, this was before his time. So the dwarves built a great temple to this god, using long-lost technology; and then they sent it aloft, into the sky, to follow the sun in its path. It was pretty loving awesome. Then that age came crashing to an end. The temple kept going for a couple centuries after, even after the inhabitants died; that was some really potent tech they had in there, and the God's power continued to flow through the temple after his demise. Still, one day it finally crashed into the earth in a remote jungle far from any civilization. Over time, the plants overgrew it, until one day the growth reached the central chamber of the temple. Even dead, a god is potent indeed, and here was the central font where the god's might had been most concentrated. The moldering will of the god seized upon the plants, and for miles around, energy not truly necrotic nor divine first slayed, then invigorated the jungle. The corpse's will shaped the plants and animals of the jungle into tools that would repair and maintain and replace the ruined parts of the temple. After a very long time, it became functional enough to pull itself into the sky once again... well, at least temporarily. It fell to the earth again, sustaining more damage in the process, but finding new raw material at the same time. Over the next few ages, this cycle occurred over and over again, until what was left of the temple was hidden under a conglomerate mass of pieces of the land fully 10 times the size of the original structure. Now, the temple has pulled itself into the sky yet again. Moths 9/18/2012: Have you ever wondered what the Derro were like back when they were sane? I bet they had a space program. JoshTheStampede 9/18/2012: Perhaps what they discovered when they went into space is what made them go insane. Or perhaps the crawling plant life that choked the flying ship to death was from space. Or the moon. Moths 9/18/2012: I really like tying this to the Derro since it dovetails beautifully with the Tower of Babel myth. JoshTheStampede 9/18/2012: I like the characterization of the derro as tragic figures who had it all but flew too high in their hubris and gazed upon the face of God, destined to wander the world insane, with the vessel in which they achieved this floating dead and empty forever as a warning to others who would presume to understand the distant gods. ack 9/18/2012: There is no god. You know, one of the last levels of the Cathedral flew by, they happened to peek into the wrong window, and the Priestess can't let what they saw into the general public just yet... I think we might need some kind of format to all this... LowellDND 9/18/2012: Well, let's play with the concept a bit. It could be a dead but dreaming god - or it could be raised to a hideous awareness after the countless aeons of rising and falling. It has slowly developed goals, and even worse, a personality, and now it's innards are filled with machines that work an inscrutable purpose. Evil Mastermind 9/18/2012: The only thing I'd like to see is that the dungeon has some way of building upon itself, replenishing lost treasures and slain monsters by stealing them from the world. BetterWeirdthanDead 9/18/2012: Dragon Magazine issue 271 (May 2000) had an article on the "Ecology of the Bag of Devouring." The article was a recollection of a rogue who crawled inside what he thought was a Bag of Holding to hide and was transported into the stomach of an abomination with multiple inter-dimensional mouths. Sounds like it'd be perfect reference material. I found the issue number online, but I'm looking for a [legal] link to the actual article. SageNytell 9/18/2012: Let's remember that this needs to be published by someone - anything under copyright by WoTC is most likely verboten. We should try to be original, anyway - the coolest stuff hasn't been written yet. BetterWeirdthanDead 9/18/2012: ^^^^^ I'm not saying we should copy it directly. Hell, just saying laundr-o-mat dryers that eat everyone's socks also happen to empty into the dungeon would work. Moths 9/18/2012: Tollymain's forge recast as a sentient but insane god-forge-ark allows for all of these things. When the ark-forge was damaged, it fixed itself, bigger with towns, bogs, jungles, and mountains. When the original Dwarf crew died, it remade "better" Dwarves (Derro) and taught the plants of stolen jungles to tend to it. The ghosts of the original crew haunt it, tormented by their legacy gone mad. What left was the pinnacle of craftsmanship and engineering, the product of countless artisans' lifetimes. Never before or again would the world see such perfection. The proud, naive Dwarves set out to meet their Craft-God. What returned was an Awful God. JoshTheStampede 9/18/2012: Where we're going, you won't need beards to see. LowellDND 9/18/2012: Oh, very nice. I'd love geek references like that if we can fit them in. (Editor's Note: loving NO) Speaking of bag universes, anyone read knights of the dinner table? They find a bag of holding that connects to a plane that exits into all other bags, so they begin looting everything. Not sure how we could use it though. Maybe it opens up to seed pods it's deployed in other ages, and those are living dungeons. Actually, now I'm thinking about the war against chtorr. Aliens drop ecological pods that form incubators deep beneath the earth, and begin spawning an entire alien ecology. I note parallels with living dungeons. ach 9/19/2012: http://rkdnstudios.enjin.com/mobile...bmission-sorter Like this? It also ties with the repopulation of the dungeon idea, they were basically shoppers for my living meteor dungeon. LowellDND 9/19/2012: Not bad. I liked how one of the replies described sorted piles of teeth. That's decidedly spooky. ach 9/19/2012: Yes, the discussion is interesting. Anyway, as we are probably not interested in describing monsters, what I wanted to say is that I really like the idea that the dungeon has different ways of replenishing itself. Maybe besides the roaming minions that rove the land with special orders, the dungeon itself feeds from the land, taking huge chunks out of it. If so, and as a side effect, the dungeon is responsible for the opening of some hellholes. In that way it probably has also gotten some pieces of demonland into it, which can lead to many cool interactions with other biomes present in the dungeon, or even with the way the dungeon is behaving. Adding another Diabolist hook in the process. Alien Rope Burn 9/19/2012: If the dungeon is a flying realm, it might have literal limbs that reach down to the Earth from time to time to catch things and carry them up, which can also be a (dangerous) means for PCs to make a harrowing climb up to it. Perhaps if it's mechanical, it has limbs that can reach not down to Earth, but at least to mountaintops, where it can harvest ore to replenish itself. If we were to go with the haunted biome, one thought I had would be during the day, vines drape down, catching lifeforms unfortunate enough to be caught in its wake to drain them of their precious nitrates. During the night, they go inactive, allowing treasure hunters to begin the ascent. But then you also have to deal with the animals that live in the vines that feed on the leavings the vines leave behind, and the howling of the undead at night, which is said to drive people mad and give them frightful visions... Strange Matter 9/19/2012: Make it the Awe-Filled Dungeon. animaCartographer 9/19/2012: This is a pretty cool idea. I like the idea that it just shovels up areas of the swamps and graveyards to rebuild itself, thus involving the interest of 2 icons. ZenMasterBullshit 9/19/2012: Another idea to get other Icons involved would be that eventually it started creating new kinds of life/monsters/whatever. New things to study, potential new weapons, abominations against creation, they could easily intrigue any Icon. Alien Rope Burn 9/19/2012: A while back I sketched an undead run kingdom that had these huge flying mechanical spiders (like the prisoner ships in gears of war 2). The idea was, they would visit parts of the kingdom, and select a pOrtion of the living. It was a big honor, cause for celebration, etc, because the villagers thought they were going to heaven. It was a lie, of course. It was a harvester ship that broke people down into their component parts - blood for vampires, muscles for ghouls, etc. but the villagers gathered every time the ship showed up, because they believed in the myth. If this derro ship arrives with any regularity, you might get a similar culture based around it. Splicer 9/19/2012: For those of us obviously behind on some important thread or other, could we get a link to whatever is going on here? SageNytell 9/19/2012: A bunch of us went in for $500.00 towards the 13th Age Kickstarter to write a dungeon for the expansion. As per usual with Goon projects, things are spiraling out of control quickly. I've got some ideas myself but I'm waiting for Red Mage to get some actual details from Fire Opal Media so we actually know what they're looking for. I guess we've got about 1-2 pages to work with, so while the ideas are cool I think people are starting to pitch larger than we can realistically put in the book. LowellDND 9/19/2012: I think we could get a decent myth arc if we don't get too bogged down in the details. Mepstein73 9/19/2012: Some things to keep in mind when crafting a dungeon (or any location): Who built it? What was it built for? Who lived there originally? Who lives there now? Where is it located? Why would people want to visit it? Some answers for 'who built it and why' have cropped up already. Dwarves building a forge city-temple to visit their gods; a sun god's worshipers created it as a monument to the sky; etc. 'Who lived there originally' creates interesting points regarding architecture, size of hallways, ornaments, and more. 'Who lives there now' determines what food stuffs and debris is found, as well as which parts of the original architecture survived (orcs smash elven art, and so forth). Who lives there now also includes a major piece of a good dungeon: the boss. Why do creatures live here if there is a dangerous creature/being sharing the space? Do they coexist symbiotically (oozes eat trash for example); or do they not know about each others' existence? That could be interesting, especially given the whole 'picking up multiple areas as it goes' idea. A slumbering monster may have had its mountain ripped up, and it didn't even notice (and none of the other creatures in the area know it's there because of that). Finally, the guts of a dungeon crawl; who would want to crawl through the dungeon? If you've got promises of riches, or a villain that needs slaying, or a force that needs stopping (or maybe even harnessing), then that can entice characters to delve in. So perhaps (bringing icons into the mix) the dungeon broke off and took a piece of the Cathedral, and the Priestess wants what was inside returned. Same goes for any of the icons with bases (Archmage, Emperor, etc). Alternately, the GGW could want it stopped because it is ripping open hellholes, and the adventurers need to reach the dungeon's core and 'hit the self-destruct switch'. Those are just my thoughts on things to keep in mind, and I hope they help streamline some of the conversation a bit. Tollymain 9/24/2012: And just like that, the chat screeches to a halt. Red_Mage, do you need any further ideas-ing before you toss it at the 13TW team or did you already do that or what? SageNytell 9/24/2012: Chilling effect: Achieved. Yes, I've been waiting for further feedback myself - it would make more sense to know what they'll accept before we start throwing out the really crazy poo poo and get disappointed when it's not what they're looking for. moths 9/24/2012: Alternate plan: fill this thread with insanity and submit a rambling 23 page goons.txt ack 9/25/2012: Leaning towards this... The dungeon ate a mage tower, it contains the only way to get to the Planar City of Aux from the Dragon Empire. Splicer 9/27/2012: How long has this place been roaming around? If it's centuries old it may contain chunks of lost civilisations that scholars would be interested in for archaeological reasons. LowellDND 9/27/2012: From past ages! Anyone else read the dark sun thread? Having an immortal watch the continents move, losing everyone he's ever loved a thousand times over, would produce some very interesting results. LowellDND 10/19/2012: The awful dungeon rises again. What civilization will be destroyed in its wake? Any further plans for this project, or no? Red_Mage 10/20/2012: I assure you as soon as Rob tells me something I will share it with you. I have been informed they are really busy but word will come any day now. I will just start writing what y'all did without them if it doesn't come before like halloween though. waderockett 1/31/2013: Rob tells me that he and Red are playing email tag at the moment, so hopefully we'll see the Awful Dungeon heave itself up from the depths and begin rampaging very soon. Fasdar 1/31/2013: Things like this always have the option of comedy relief cultists. Or just serious business cultists. Cultists are a good way for some previously unknown and sleeping evil to spring back to life. And it gives your rapscallion band a reason to think that it was all a good idea, up until they get swept up in the monster's wake. If the party bee-lines after the cultists, they find the huge maze of the living (and still sleeping) dungeon. If they're seen, things are put in motion to start the dungeon back up quickly. (At which point it gets out of control.) If not, then, cool, they managed to get through the whole crazy dungeon super stealth, which was probably fun. On the other hand, if they show up on day 5 or what have you, that poo poo is already lurching towards bethlehem, spewing monsters and havok in its wake. If it has become somewhat self aware, it could be seeking out the biggest [magic/techno/dragon/godhead] power source nearby, thus drawing the attention of the boss folk. Red_Mage 2/10/2013: I have sent a preoutline compilation of the basics and what needs to be finalized to Rob and Wade. I will let you know if things need voting on, and a short synopsis will soon follow. I somehow managed to restrain myself from making the subject line "This, my darling is the Zybourne Clock" Editor's Note: gently caress you, Red_Mage. Error 404 2/11/2013: It could possibly be fun to actually call this: Zybourne's Clock: An Awful Dungeon Maybe nobody knows what the original builders called it. Maybe the only source of the party's knowledge about the dungeon is a (decades?, centuries?) Old manuscript full of half-mad ramblings of an artificer named zybourne (and his man-servant/bodyguard John Fiveace), the only person in recent/historical times to explore the dungeon, and the erratic rise and fall of what he called the "clock". Basically, Zybourne's Clock could actually work really well, and as an SA reference it would be slightly subtle, and potentially hilarious waderockett 2/15/2013: "This, my darling, is a dungeon. A dungeon many men and many women have died to see, to understand, and to explore." Red_Mage 2/15/2013: Rob Heinsoo thinking that Johnny Fiveaces was a creation of my medication is possibly the most surreal thing that has ever happened to me. Red_Mage 3/5/2013: OK, With Rob's permission here is the preliminary rundown of what the Awful Dungeon should be. Underlined items are things I would love to hear about. Of course if you feel I have not done an adequate job hearing your voice (I scoured this thread and the last one) please alert me, and as we work on this I will make sure your ideas are heard. I am putting this here now because I also have some exciting news. I may have found a charity to take the 13th Age kit that comes with the dungeon backing reward. Once I have a final date for when the swag arrives, we are going to do a thing (hopefully with other goon involvement). So without further ado: The Awful Dungeon. – Pre outline You see a sign crudely affixed to the dirt wall. "Get out." it says, with a crude rendition of a frog scrawled beneath it. You pause to contemplate the meaning of this before seeing another sign further down the way. As you approach you can see it also has a crude rendition of a frog, this time though he is depicted with a glowing radiance. The sign reads: "This is a level beyond get out. Let’s call it Get Out 2." Overall the important things to keep in mind for an “Awful Dungeon” are: A particular strain of misanthropic humor, the sickly sweet laughter that comes from someone who genuinely thinks that they are a reincarnation of an Elf and tries to prove it by driving a car at 80mph around the trailer park. Everyone is, and should be, terrible, some just hide it better than others. A certain flexibility and an abundance of loose ends. Overexplaining is like kryptonite to Something Awful, that’s honestly one of the reasons they’ve really gotten behind (heh) 13th Age. An attention to detail, while it would seem that this goes at odds with the above, leaving the big ends loose, but sewing the little threads tight is going to make people happy. Generally agreed upon details: It should be a living dungeon, preferably of the “lostech” variety. An abandoned spaceship (in various incarnations) was an idea that got bandied around a lot. I think the best compromise of their ideas would be a dungeon that could easily take off and become a floating realm when the players enter, ramping up the tension. It should feature some sort of doomsday weapon, this is an instant plothook for almost all the icons. It needs to feature a “boss”. Ideally one with a huge setpiece sort of climax. System Shock is a fairly popular game, and some sort of malevolent force AI controlling the actual dungeon itself leading up to a fight against the actual terrain would probably play well. It should feature a prominent puzzle that is used throughout the dungeon, some suggestions that were floated were a light based puzzle if the dungeon were more “plant-ish” and a sort of day/night mechanic, or a self replenishing moving sort of system. Some stuff that still needs deciding: It needs a sort of recurring mook type enemy. Suggestions were: Dungeon Monsters in the popular fantasy RPG vein that are being abducted, plant people, ghosts, and cultists. It needs a few options for what “powers” it. Suggestions were: Corpse of a Dead God, Alchemy, Plants, Dwarves with spaceship technology that they forgot It needs a McGuffin. Suggestions were: A means to control the weapon, A means to control light and/or Time which would mess with the age (the “Zybourne Clock”) It needs to either have an overarching style (Plants overgrown on tech is a popular one) or be a “katamari”-eque amalgam that has been picking up parts of the world as it goes about its merry way Horrible Goon stuff: It needs to feature a corpse of an Adventurer named Johnny, with five aces tucked into his shirt, next to him are 4 balls on the edge of a table or cliff. This is non-negotiable. Editor's Note: No, no it does not. Error 404 3/5/2013: Rob must think we're all a special brand of nutjob. Splicer 3/5/2013: It saddens me that while there is talk of a spaceship, there is no mention of any robots or the terrible secret they are protecting us from Error 404 3/5/2013: Given the 4E nature of combat and movement powers, I would suggest a monster type of some sort of clockwork automaton. Pressurized steam hissing from vents, that is basically a Defender Fighter. A Forced-Movement-Bot, if you will. SniperWoreConverse 3/5/2013: I love it. Maybe something you could do would have this prologue portion of the quest be kind of a warning encounter between the two signs, so people know what they might be getting into -- a microcosm of the dungeon itself. If you are going to have a jungle-on-tech theme, the recurring enemies could be the pusher robots and the beastmen equivalent of getout dart frogs. These frogmen could be dumb semi-sentients, or an intelligent tribe that do their best to keep outsiders away so that the dungeon won't be terribly awakened like in the bad old days. Maybe they're more magic or stealth oriented to complement the powerful pusher robots. Those signs should be magically active runes, as well. I'm thinking it would be neat for the robots to view the other dungeon dwellers as irrelevant, like whatever plants and such might be growing around, but if they start to gently caress with the mechanisms, then they can be perceived as enemies as well. There should be some method to override or disable the robots without fighting. Hopefully if the frog people are intelligent, they could be convinced to help you, as long as you can prove to them that you are only archeologists or something and have no intention of waking it up. Maybe they need something, like information about the systems? or a translation of something? Maybe loving with the mechanisms is a cultural taboo? You could recruit some youthful renegade NPC? Splicer 3/6/2013: The Adventurers encounter a tall, narrow staircase. At the top are two (constructs/statues/robots). When an Adventurer reaches approximately halfway up the staircase the constructs activate and attempt to prevent the Adventurers from scaling the staircase. This can be handled as either a combat encounter or a more freeform, skill-check based encounter. Throughout the encounter the constructs will inform the Adventurers that this is for their protection. If asked they will inform the players that they are protecting them from "a secret" but will elaborate no further. The robots will not at first attempt to directly harm the Adventurers, merely performing a push attack that sends the Adventurers back down the stairs again (dealing falling damage). This attack can be performed at-will and in place of opportunity attacks. If one or both of the robots is reduced to half health, or any Adventurer manages to evade and get behind the robots, the robots will engage their sparks and lasre, dealing fire damage to any Adventurers hit and setting fire to the surrounding areas (hindering and damaging terrain). Once the robots are defeated and the fires put out the Adventurers may explore the area at the top of the stairs, where they will find some form of plot-relevant Horrible Secret along with the remains and last words of one Cornelius Ladd. SniperWoreConverse 3/6/2013: If the adventurers aren't appropriately cautious an overwhelming force of frog people will emerge and warn them to "get out" (the only phrase they know in common speech). If the party fails to back away to satisfactorily they well attempt to capture the party and return them to the entrance. If this happens a second time they will be taken to the frog town, an immense chamber overgrown with vines. They are placed before shaman/leader figure, who is fluent speaker. "Were you not warned? Did we not say, in your own speech 'get out?' How can I impress upon you the importance of 'get out?' Speak to me. Go on." If they provoke the leader, he will immediately activate an ancient device, and the chamber reverberates with a distinctive WOM sound, the sound of articulating lenses. The chamber floods with light and the other frogpeople flee. Vines shift away from the wall behind the shaman to take advantage of this light, revealing that it is made of a curious alloy and etched with horizontal lines bisected in the center. In a pool of radiance, the frog leader gives the get out 2 aside and then manipulates an inset golden ring to the left. The wall changes with an unnatural smoothness, and soon a huge orifice gapes -- the inside glows with an eerie red light. The party must save or be sucked through and ejected from the dungeon. The party comes across a network of deep saltwater pools that hinders their progress. Luckily the friendly NPC Mermaid Shelly lives here, cause seriously, gently caress the ocean. A shadowy cabal of mysterious and powerful entities monitor the party's progress. If they are unlucky the party will be directly challenged by one of these entities. If they fail the consequences are severe, however success will be rewarded greatly. The party descends to a lower level of the dungeon, a filthy grotto. Mushrooms bloom here, and the strange machinery is partially exposed. Conduits of magical energy hang loose from their supports, and a number of cryptic devices are held up by chains. They display a shifting series difficult to understand runes. If the party wastes too much time a cave troll will return to its lair. [apparently that one pic from goons.jpg has been lost with waffleimages, but it's the first google result for "goon basement."] In an otherwise featureless room, an intricate series of locks and traps protects a central vault. As they get closer to opening it, they notice strange semipermanent anomalies with their speech. If the party is able to breach all the locks they don't receive any treasure, instead the extremely dangerous demon entity Zalgo is released. Interactive control devices are spread throughout the dungeon, and if a character makes the appropriate feat/background/intelligence/whatever roll they can gain useful information, like the layout, some lore, or schematics for footwear based food storage. If they roll too low they get swap.avi Rugpisser 3/6/2013: Perhaps wings of the dungeon could be based off of some sub forums? A hall of Games [Games] -A smaller room in the hall of games consists of 2 constructs that bicker over the rules of some ancient game [Trad Games] Sports Arena [SAS] A library of data cubes filled with memories [Ask/Tell] A large artificial island filled with exotic animals and crazed owners [Pet Island] Kenderama 3/6/2013: And in celebration of ADTRW, we must have some sort of tentacular nightmare to fight. Indescribable, Awful Horror A pulsating, malodorous, greenish-yellow mass of glistening, slippery flesh that rears upwards on stunted, rubbery legs as you approach. A mass of thick tentacles - some tipped with eyes, and some with spikes and bone - reach out towards you with a demonic hunger. 9th Level Large Wrecker [abberation] Init: +4, HP: 360 AC: 25 PD: 23 MD: 19 Tentacle Slam: +14 vs AC, 100 damage. (2 attacks per round) Natural Even Hit: The Horror can grab the target. Natural 18-20: The Horror grabs the target and makes a Grasping Grope attack as a free action. Grasping Grope: +18 vs AC - 35 damage. Writhing Tentacles: The Horror can grab up to 1d6 adventurers at a time - roll this check at beginning of combat to reflect how many tentacle-weapons it has. Zephirum 3/6/2013: Maybe the balls are a power source for the dungeon, like chunks of super coal. Johnny could have stolen some but died for some reason once he made it to the surface. GlazedMcGuffin 3/6/2013: Some of these pitches are beautifully written and pretty funny, but it seems like a wasted opportunity to just make it a string of internet memes. We aren't 4chan. That said, the inclusion of get-out frogs could be cool in a weirdly atmospheric way. Editor's Note: Could not agree more. No one is going to get our loving injokes, why not make a cool dungeon? Megaman's Jockstrap 3/6/2013: The idea of a dimly lit, cavernous chamber full of dank puddles of stagnant water and twisted, bio-luminescent vines with a couple dozen frogmen lurking in the darkness croaking "get out. get OUT. GET out. GET OUT." does have a certain creepy appeal. The PCs could actually be looking for the body of Johnny FiveAces. He's a paladin of the God of Gambling or some other religious entity. The 4 lucky balls and the cards are relics of the church, maybe? I personally like the idea of the PCs going to the dungeon on a pretty small errand - with no real reason to think that it's a super-powerful flying fortress - and only gradually becoming aware of the true nature of the place, perhaps over a series of several adventures. Adventure 1: Recovery of Johnny PhiveAaces Adventure 2: Escape from the Deadly Gas Chamber Adventure 3: Breaking into the Golden Vault Adventure 4: Return of the King? Error 404 3/6/2013: I think that injokey stuff can work as long as it is also written to be compelling and fun to play primarily. GlazedMcGuffin 3/6/2013: I like that. Is the Derro origin still in? If so, the frogmen & flora could be a result of the Derro hubris & insanity that led to the construction of this place. Splicer 3/6/2013: In jokes are fine as long as they're built around something that's fun to play even if you don't get them. Basically the best in-jokes are the ones you either get or don't notice. The Toxx Claws from the Wasteland thread are, as far as I'm concerned, the pinnacle of in-joke game reference. If you don't get the joke then they're a neat weapon, very useful for a melee build (an often neglected niche) and mesh very well with the general game aesthetic. If you do get the joke you get that in-joke feeling, AND they're a neat weapon for a melee build, and mesh very well with the general game aesthetic. Game function first, references second. If you want to see it done incredibly badly, go swing by the Endless Space thread. So the cave troll one is good, because hey, everyone likes a cave troll, and anyone who doesn't get it will just assume hey, cave troll. Similarly a tribe of frogmen warning would-be travellers away and dragging them before their leader (a vibrant yellow frog, with a ritual headdress of fluorescent yellow leaves). The goatse thing seems less good, because there's a hell of a lot of description being put into what could just as easily be a hole in the ground leading to a nearby lake, and players would pick up on that. An encounter featuring a Goatman who drops a gold ring as treasure is more subtle. Keeping things to one reference per encounter might be a good rule of thumb. SniperWoreConverse 3/7/2013: The cards sound good as relics or holy icons, maybe the balls are dungeon-origin artifacts? Maybe they're the McGuffin. Diggin' the gas chamber and golden vault. Adventure 4: The Mad Lord of Fy'ad (An idiotic king tries to activate the device and must be stopped) Editor's Note: The following emoticons don't all exist anymore, so this is not going to be 100% accurate. And we already have a couple variations beyond standard, if we want to add variety: Porcelain Frog , Sorcerer , Alarm or Watchfrog , Whatever the gently caress a is. I'm not sure how a smithfrog would be statted out, or what abilities it would have, but it could be something pretty neat. It's not like any of them would have to be described in great detail. The haunted-at-night aspect is cool as well. If you try to ask the ghosts what's going on they let you know it's a mystery. Yeah, this is a pretty good post, don't want to run it into the ground. I knew that sequence was getting overwrought, but I wanted to throw it out there anyway. I think the place should have a lot of weird impenetrable alloys and stuff, though. Maybe some sections can be shifted around based on different events, or some crazy setpiece that opens up to the final boss. I keep thinking the place as multiple levels, where the entrance would be at the bottom. Maybe the main path up is guarded by robots at each stairwell? I like the idea of it activating and floating around with dangerous vines hanging off. Maybe the party leaves at some point and have to make their way back inside. theironjef 3/7/2013: I'm only sort of aware of what I'm reading but the first page had a suggestion for adventuring in a bag of devouring as well as a description of a floating dungeon planet that is alive and rebuilds itself, and all I could think was "What if every magical extra-planar storage device in Game World represented the purpose-built offspring of a living construct world?" All with it occasionally segmenting off pods containing portable holes, bags of devouring and holding, spheres of annihilation, and so on to an unsuspecting world below as a harvesting mechanism. To reach the world alive, players would need to crawl into the right bag, so that they go into the safe storage chambers and not into the vats of devouring acid. TG-Chrono 3/23/2013: Awww gee, I totally forgot about this for a few months! After being sent the latest Kickstarter update, a small voice in my head said I was forgetting something, lo, here it is. I'm going to need a while to digest some of the stuff offered but I'm glad this is slowly getting off the ground. Thus ends dead brainstorming thread.
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Jan 24, 2014 17:15
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This space for rent
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Jan 24, 2014 17:15
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Thanks for pulling this all into one place Sage. I had honestly all but forgotten about all this. Will be good to find out what direction this will take.
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Jan 24, 2014 18:52
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The core concept is such a cool idea, but I really hope all that stairs getout goony goon bullshit is left out.
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Jan 24, 2014 18:54
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Dr. Clockwork posted:The core concept is such a cool idea, but I really hope all that stairs getout goony goon bullshit is left out. You know what? Having creepy frogs in the dark, slime-choked pools that fill a plant-shrouded ruin that make sounds like 'get out' is a light enough reference that I would be ok with it, and actually adds some atmosphere. Basically every other reference that was brought up above is stupid bullshit and I don't want to spew a bunch of incomprehensible injokes all over the nice book. We're better than that. Edit: Thanks to Winson for the unfortunately appropriate new thread icon. SageNytell fucked around with this message at 19:25 on Jan 24, 2014 |
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Jan 24, 2014 18:58
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SageNytell posted:You know what? Having creepy frogs in the dark, slime-choked pools that fill a plant-shrouded ruin that make sounds like 'get out' is a light enough reference that I would be ok with it, and actually adds some atmosphere. Basically every other reference that was brought up above is stupid bullshit and I don't want to spew a bunch of incomprehensible injokes all over the nice book. When you phrase it that way it does sound cool, but I was shaking my head reading Red_Mage's "pitch". Especially the Johnny Five Aces thing.
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Jan 24, 2014 19:45
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If I recall correctly, red mage didn't even have the idea to start the pool, he just took over it. We should donate the physical rewards to charity or something. Great work OP.
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Jan 24, 2014 19:50
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We'll have to sort that out with Fire Opal, my guess is the gear is currently set to go to whatever address Red_Mage specified. If we pick a charity we're doing it with full transparency. According to Wade, Rob will be checking in on the thread on Monday. That gives us a weekend to at least give him a solid elevator pitch. I think we can pull enough from what's been discussed already to accomplish that. Quick check for those who donated: Do we accept outside input but maintain veto power? I feel like that would be a solid approach, and that's how I would like ideally to proceed, but I'd like to hear from my fellows first.
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Jan 24, 2014 20:01
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SageNytell posted:Quick check for those who donated: Do we accept outside input but maintain veto power? I feel like that would be a solid approach, and that's how I would like ideally to proceed, but I'd like to hear from my fellows first. Ok with me
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Jan 24, 2014 20:12
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SageNytell posted:Quick check for those who donated: Do we accept outside input but maintain veto power? I feel like that would be a solid approach, and that's how I would like ideally to proceed, but I'd like to hear from my fellows first. This was my proposal in the 13A thread so I'm cool with it. It sounds like the general consensus is some combination of a necrobotonomancy based dungeon. The actual flavor of it can be hashed out, but am I wrong in this general takeaway? If that's true, would it be possible to just throw a bunch of Icon-related reasons why adventurers would need to go to this dungeon, so as to grant some freedom from the backers? I, uh, admittedly didn't read the entirety of SageNytell's (awesome) megapost with the greatest of scrutiny, but how much space do we have to work with? I assume we're not going to actually be giving a specific layout and diagram of said dungeon, but rather a broad overview with setpieces and maybe an NPC or something, but someone can feel free to spell out what we need to actually do besides throw ideas. ack posted:If I recall correctly, red mage didn't even have the idea to start the pool, he just took over it. We should donate the physical rewards to charity or something. Great work OP. Ironically I think the reason Red Mage handled it was because he was well-respected and trusted at the time.
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Jan 24, 2014 21:27
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GrandpaPants posted:I, uh, admittedly didn't read the entirety of SageNytell's (awesome) megapost with the greatest of scrutiny, but how much space do we have to work with? I assume we're not going to actually be giving a specific layout and diagram of said dungeon, but rather a broad overview with setpieces and maybe an NPC or something, but someone can feel free to spell out what we need to actually do besides throw ideas. Yes, when Rob rang me up to ask about the Awful Dungeon he said that it would be a broad overview with setpieces and maybe an NPC or something. How does this sound: a 500 word pitch, including an overview/background and some concise details - encounters, monsters, items, NPCs? As an example I'm thinking of the pitch for the Crown of Charon sandbox dungeon adventure at Kobold Press.
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Jan 24, 2014 23:53
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On it. 
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Jan 25, 2014 13:58
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Alright, here goes... This is my first draft, please let me know what I should edit down to get within Fire Opal's requirements. Right now I'm way over word count, though that may be partially due to my proclivity toward purple prose. I used Fosborb's suggestion of The Wild Garden for the name of the dungeon, I'm not sure how well Awful Dungeon works on its own. I've tried to include details and concepts as much as I can, and I think I've come up with a workable premise. On the content side, I wasn't sure if bringing in the fungusfolk or plant creatures from the Bestiary was kosher or not, so everything here could be modeled by reskinning gelatinous cubes, traps, and so on. As far as I'm aware the Praying Mantis is actually in 13 True Ways. Enough preamble! Let's rock! The Wild Garden A 13th Age Adventure for Champion Tier Heroes “As you shrug off the chill from the altitude and the wind, you peer into the vine-shrouded halls of the flying ziggurat. Ruined crystal lenses stand at regular intervals down the ancient corridor, their once-straight frames bent with centuries of neglect and malevolent plant life. In contrast to the freezing air you walked in from, the air itself is dense here, and the moisture and heat are as oppressive as the plant life. From within you can hear the workings of some dark ecosystem, and you would swear the croaks of the scurrying frogs that sweep between slime-choked pools sound as though they are saying 'GET OUT'. Too late and too high to turn back now...” History: From the moment he awoke as an undead creature after a fatal ambush, the druid acolyte Carid Tolyack was tormented with conflicting messages as the call of the Lich King was clear, but the voice of the High Druid still echoed in his heart. Maddened by his dual loyalty, Tolyack broke away from the Lich King's assault party on a forgotten sun-god's flying citadel and unleashed the final secret of his former life – an artifact called the Seed of New Life. Some say that this artifact is the key to creating new flying realms, others claim it will germinate into a living dungeon, but all agree that when the warped magic of the Lich King and High Druid combined with the focused power of the Sunlit Ziggurat it changed a once holy place into a truly awful dungeon. The necrobotanical life spread quickly, fueled by the network of sacred lenses and mirrors that had once lit every corner of the expansive stone structure. The citadel still flies on, following the sun, but now its passing bears dark fruit as seeds and spores from the uncontrolled undead plants seethe out of every crack, and the trailing tendrils snatch up new life to add to the blasphemous ecosystem. Can a handful of heroes find a way to catch the airborne edifice, hack their way through murderous plantlife, and claim the Seed of New Life before this monstrous evil finds a way to replace all life on the world below? Synopsis: The Wild Garden is a dungeon-delving adventure in which characters brave an enormous flying vegetation-choked ziggurat. Much of the dungeon is a sentient, violent undead plant that will seek to destroy any intruders as it slowly becomes aware of their presence, and the characters will need to quickly battle their way through the twisted innards and warped ecosystem that has claimed the structure. Encounter Concepts and Dungeon Denizens: -A giant praying mantis stalks through a quick-growing stand of bamboo - as the fight begins it is nearly invisible with camoflage, but as the rounds continue more and more bamboo is cut down and the monster is slowly exposed. -The network of lenses and mirrors can be redirected to send burning sunlight ever deeper into the ziggurat. Different plant structures react in different ways – some will spew burning sap, others retract like muscle fibers, and still others grow ferrous plates and shoot bolts of electricity! -Vines slither through the corridors and will engage and pull interlopers to their doom! Vicious, hungry mantraps grow out of the walls and floors to catch the unwary. -Adventurers may be puzzled by the enormous, slightly curved trails they see snaking through the fields of vegetation and narrow corridors - until they chance upon one of the gigantic, flesh-devouring mutant tumbleweeds that inexorably roll through the labrinthine halls. -The ziggurat's original caretakers were massive sun-powered stone golems, long since powered down from lack of light. Perhaps they could be repowered, though some might have been corrupted by the new master of the citadel! -Weird and twisted insect life burrows through the walls and oversees blasphemous pollination. What weird and wild bugs have grown in this Wild Garden? -The heart of the Garden itself has encased the Seed of New Life and protects it jealously. What will happen if you manage to pry it loose? Bonus! Icon Hooks: Archmage: A seed that grows into new flying realms would be ideal for the Archmage's ongoing experiments. Go fetch it for him, would you? Crusader: The dark gods have evidently decreed that this abomination against life cannot stand. Who are you to disagree with the commands of the Crusader? Diabolist: You can grow undead plants that kill people? The Diabolist wants one! Dwarf King: The idea of flying stone makes the Dwarf King slightly queasy to begin with. If said flying stone is dripping seeds of undead plants into places where their roots burrow into Dwarven tunnels, he's downright angry. Elf Queen: Somewhere the dungeon was able to pick up an Elf, and it is now using it as a template to make bizarre undead-elf-plant monstrosities. This evil committed against her people echoes in the Queen's dreams. Emperor: Farmland that is integral to the survival of the Empire is being overridden by monstrous plants, dropped by a haunting object in the sky. This depredation must be stopped! Great Gold Wyrm: Necrobotanical fiends dropped from the dungeon have been making attacks upon the Great Gold Wyrm from its unprotected flanks, and the Great Gold Wyrm does not need a two-front war. High Druid: The High Druid has no connection to the Awful Dungeon, and this terrifies her. By all rights it was created by one of her devotees and is choked with life – her inability to sense it fills her with burning dread. She would see this abomination destroyed at all costs. Lich King: The Lich King is fixed upon 13 Ages of time-tested strategy and views the dungeon only as a symbol of defiance. He would see it cast from the sky, so that all see the fate of those who deny the inevitable. Orc Lord: Is it a weapon? Will it burn? The Orc Lord is listening. Priestess: Out of respect for the Sun God Kendfos Panchronos, the Priestess wishes for this once-holy place to be purged of darkness and consecrated once again. Prince of Shadows: The Prince is entirely amused by the whole affair, and has dispatched Sky Pirate and Mastermind Extraordinaire Fosrope Overmoth to ferry any suckers- er, heroes brave enough to challenge the dungeon safely to their doom- er, destination. The Three: The Blue Dragon wishes to know more about the secrets locked within the ancient citadel, and a dragon gets what a dragon wants. SageNytell fucked around with this message at 05:20 on Jan 27, 2014 |
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Jan 27, 2014 05:16
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I like it - and while it is a bit wordy, it seems good. I really somehow want a Plants-vs-Zombies homage of some pea-shooter plants or something attacking.  If not I'll work it in as a flashback whenever I run it. 
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Jan 27, 2014 17:00
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If the flavor text up front is removed and the icon relationships treated like a bonus, we come down to 569 words. That also loses the  reference (not broken up about it). It does keep in the NPC name reference for the top four backers.PvZ is something I should have thought to include. If I get a chance to do another draft revision, I'll try and squeeze that in. Edit: Whether my draft or someone else's ends up in the book, I'm recording an actual play of the end product and posting it here. This was too fun a concept. SageNytell fucked around with this message at 17:20 on Jan 27, 2014 |
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Jan 27, 2014 17:16
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Alright, I'm going to try to crank out a shorter second draft tonight. Any further critique or stuff I missed and should try and include, please let me know - I want to make sure our contribution to the book is a good one.
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Jan 28, 2014 20:23
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I've always been a fan of painting an idea, not a picture, so I would be perfectly okay with the flavor text going away. It bothered me when the Icons had their flavor text as well, especially when they're supposed to be so malleable. Also, I would be perfectly okay with scrubbing all reference to SA except maybe a line that says "submitted by the Something Awful Traditional Games Community" or something. If you're a goon you're probably going to add a Get Out Necro-Slaad or something anyway, but a "joke" that's only funny once is often terrible all the other times you have to read it. Here's my proposal of a history, written in a way that is totally not publishable but whatever. Imagine in some age past an old plant god, which I'll simply call The Green for now, sacrificed himself to defeat an old god of death that was slowly turning into a god of murder, which I'll call The Harvester. The manner of death is that the The Green bound himself to The Harvester, such that The Green's essence would always satiate The Harvesters desire to kill. Or whatever, I can work on this a bit, but I really just wanted to evoke the old Mexican belief that life can kill death (nerd reference: Grim Fandango). Anyway, fast forward a few ages/millenia, and the intertwined husks of The Harvester and The Green becomes this unknown whatever out in the middle of somewhere. I have no idea how to make the anatomy work such that it ends up being a ziggurat, but whatever, gods don't have to conform to humanoid shapes. Anyway, regardless, it becomes this almost cancerous growth of eternal birth and death, of lush verdant natural environments intermixed with the stench of rot and decay. And it starts to bear fruit. I don't know how much of the Macguffin needs to be explained, since again I like the idea of giving people an idea and seeing where they take it themselves, but if this idea has any traction, I can start to develop it more or something.
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Jan 29, 2014 07:46
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[quote="SageNytell" post="424945491"] Alright, here goes... This is my first draft, please let me know what I should edit down to get within Fire Opal's requirements. Right now I'm way over word count, though that may be partially due to my proclivity toward purple prose. I used Fosborb's suggestion of The Wild Garden for the name of the dungeon, I'm not sure how well Awful Dungeon works on its own. I've tried to include details and concepts as much as I can, and I think I've come up with a workable premise. Sage, I gotta say I'm pretty happy to have logged in and found this Wild Garden write-up. So far as I am concerned you do not need to work to edit it down. I would happy to run with what y'all have done here. I mean, if you're loving the process of editing the work, go for it. Otherwise, don't fret, this is what we needed.
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Jan 29, 2014 08:54
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Good job SageNytell, I'd like to thank you again for all the work you put into this.
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Jan 29, 2014 17:31
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I wasn't a backer, and was mainly throwing out ideas in the spirit of (everybody pitch something, and backers have veto) That said, I'd forgotten about this, and I'm both deeply sorry about the SA references, and strangely proud of my idea (it could work even if you have no idea what Zybourne is). So, go me, I guess. The Garden looks awesome, and I can't wait to try and run it! Congrat y'all.
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Jan 29, 2014 18:25
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Rob Heinsoo posted:Sage, I gotta say I'm pretty happy to have logged in and found this Wild Garden write-up. It was my pleasure. I was a backer on Nightfall as well (as were many of us, I think) and I've already been hosed enough by Red_Mage. I wanted to make sure he didn't screw up this project as well, and I take pride in our ideas and concept work, so I was more than happy to make it right. I will say that this is not exactly the way that I had hoped a professional game designer would read a sample of my writing, but I'm glad it fit the bill. I mostly served as editor here, the ideas came from all of us. Also  that was a wearing 48 hoursKenderama posted:I like it - and while it is a bit wordy, it seems good. Speaking of running it... I'm sort of flirting with the idea of running a game for backers using skype/Roll20. Maybe in a month or so when things settle down for me. GrandpaPants posted:I've always been a fan of painting an idea, not a picture, so I would be perfectly okay with the flavor text going away. I definitely see where you're coming from here. If you go back and read some of the suggestions it got really circlejerky with the references - I went with a light one that served to set tone. The format examples that Wade linked had a few bits of flavor text, so I followed suit. My thoughts on this was that since we don't have the space or text to write out a whole dungeon, we provide a good starter position for GMs to work from. I've always found fluff to be easy to ignore or adjust, and more of a spark for new ideas then a set of strict guidelines. In regard to the thematic elements, I wish you had posted sooner. I was hoping to get a bit more critical response so I could throw together a proper second draft. As is, I tried to pull together enough elements of what we had brainstormed so that it would make sense as one package. I did try to make sure that the people who supported got some sort of reference - Carid Tolyack was animaCartographer, Mustache Ride, Tollymain and ack; Kendfos Panchronos was Kenderama, fosborb, GrandpaPants and TG-Chrono; and finally Mastermind Extraordinaire Fosrope Overmoth was Alien Rope Burn, Overemotional Robot and Moths. Dominion I am a piece of poo poo and figured out NPC names at 11:00 after working all day on the project and left you out by mistake, I'm sorry! ack posted:Good job SageNytell, I'd like to thank you again for all the work you put into this. Honestly I review questionable tax returns for my job, sorting through a shitload of data and looking for specifics isn't that difficult for me. Trying to patch it together coherently was the only challenge, and we mostly had that toward the end. Error 404 posted:I wasn't a backer, and was mainly throwing out ideas in the spirit of (everybody pitch something, and backers have veto) Don't worry about it, man. I know it's pretty easy once everyone's making reference jokes to join in and there were some legitimate ideas among the dross, so it was cool. Zybourne would be alright if it didn't have all that drat baggage, so I left it out. Thank you, everybody! I'm psyched to see our work in print. I wanted to mention it here so it doesn't look weird, I'm asking Wade to credit me as a contributor under my actual name in the book rather than my forums handle. We did it! 
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Jan 31, 2014 19:16
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Now that we're in the home stretch for the manuscript, how would you like the Awful Dungeon to be credited in the book? To "The Something Awful Forum Goons" or to the individual contributors to the backer tier? If the latter, do you want your true names listed or your forum names?
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Jun 1, 2014 23:38
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Something Awful Trad Games Goons No need to do individual backers, a lot of people who didn't back helped too.
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Jun 2, 2014 00:47
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Depending on the page real estate available for listing backers, I think it would be nice to have the original contributors along with 'And the Something Awful Traditional Games Community' but if space is at a premium 'Something Awful Trad Games Goons' would do nicely.
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Jun 2, 2014 15:12
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If it's anything like the core book or Bestiary, only The Something Awful Forums Traditional Games Community in 18 pt bold will stand out among the sea of other backers.
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Jun 2, 2014 17:50
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Captain Walker posted:If it's anything like the core book or Bestiary, only The Something Awful Forums Traditional Games Community in 18 pt bold will stand out among the sea of other backers. I like this.
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Jun 3, 2014 13:47
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So here's a question I feel dumb asking. Would it be inappropriate or egotistical to ask to be credited as editor for the dungeon pitch under my real name? If general goon consensus is no I will not request this.
SageNytell fucked around with this message at 16:26 on Jun 3, 2014 |
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Jun 3, 2014 15:27
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SageNytell posted:So here's a question I feel dumb asking. Would it be inappropriate or egotistical to ask to be credited as editor for the dungeon pitch under my real name? If general goon consensus is no I will not request this. It's either you or Red_Mage.
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Jun 3, 2014 18:07
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Captain Walker posted:It's either you or Red_Mage. Ehhhh, while you did cut the bullshit out of the ideas, Sage, and edit it down into a really nice draft, I still dunno. I'm on the fence I guess. I'd kinda rather just have The Something Awful Forums Traditional Games Community and leave it at that rather than list everyone, or just an editor. Whatever, I'm good with what everyone else decides, I guess.
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Jun 3, 2014 20:07
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Wow, not only had I forgotten all about this, I didn't even know this thread existed... Anyway, I'm okay with The Something Awful Forums Traditional Games Community.
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Jun 3, 2014 23:55
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Can I be credited as "Weedlord Bonehitler?"
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Jun 4, 2014 00:14
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LordPants posted:Can I be credited as "Weedlord Bonehitler?" I assume you've legally changed your name to this so, yes.
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Jun 4, 2014 01:38
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Thanks!LordPants posted:Can I be credited as "Weedlord Bonehitler?" Again, no. But keep asking. The day someone says "yes" will be glorious.
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Jun 4, 2014 23:41
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