the elder scrolls online was a steaming turd

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Imp Zone > the elder scrolls online was a steaming turd

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

when this was announced i was really hoping it would be as big a disaster as SWTOR but the best part of watching that game crash and burn was the thousands and thousands of people who rushed to its/biowares defense in increasingly desperate ways and this time around even most people on zenimaxs forums are saying it sucks so its not nearly as funny

# ¿ Feb 7, 2014 19:21

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 00:06

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

Entropic posted:

That video trailer which has nothing to do with the actual gameplay looked pretty cool though.

is that the one where everybody is scared because an ancient evil suddenly returns just like in the last 2 tes or is that a different one

# ¿ Feb 7, 2014 19:42

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

# ¿ Feb 7, 2014 19:44

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

reminder you dont actually get exp from killing mobs

or doing anything that isnt completing a quest

reminder that the video that gif came from was leaked in april and the game hasnt changed at all

# ¿ Feb 7, 2014 20:14

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

Thanks for the new av mystery donor.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2014 22:03

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

reminder instead of michael kirkbride they have this guy

# ¿ Feb 7, 2014 22:23

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

one of the simplest things in TES is lizard people = poison immunity how do you gently caress that up

# ¿ Feb 7, 2014 22:34

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

i like how their newest attempt to get people excited for the game was revealing the celebrity voice cast

because why pay 100 voice actors $10000 to say 1000 lines each, when you could pay 10 voice actors $100000 to say 100 lines each

# ¿ Feb 7, 2014 22:46

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

sorry my bad the newest thing was actually revealing they hid a tenth playable race behind a special edition preorder paywall

e: and that you will be able to play as any race on any faction if you get this rofl what the gently caress

# ¿ Feb 7, 2014 22:47

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

Fabricated posted:

kinda legit surprised the tumblr videogames crowd haven't jumped on the fact that the big bad is literally "The God of Rape" in the lore and basically raped all the (original) vampires into existence along with also raping anyone who -really- wants his boon

I don't imagine that'll be in the promo material: "JOURNEY TO COLD HARBOR, DEFEAT THE LORD OF RAPE"

Also he looks like a blue Diablo now I guess??

transcription error lol. hes the god of domination in the really real tamriel

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 02:30

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 03:05

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

it would be funny as hell if all the enemies had oblivions level scaling

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 04:26

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

Third World Reggin posted:

TESO update.

Of the 3 other people playing it, the only person left playing it is someone who loves elder scrolls lore. Even they are upset about calling things dark elves or high elves.

The game would be better if they removed the first 10 levels of content.

Combat sucks rear end but gets better once people start getting combat skills.

Didn't do a dungeon yet, cause its 10 levels in.

Also its funny watching 10 people try to loot the same cup at the same time that is worth 2 gold.

Crafting is kinda neat. Except the armor looks like rear end. Harvesting sucks rear end. You get a npc companion to send you harvesting materials once a day and I bet that sucks too.

The game is not group friendly early on cause if you are on different steps or did quests differently you may be in different instances until you exit that area.

Third World Reggin posted:

The dork elf lizard faction has you start in a nord area. You go find wounded people in the town, cool.

Once you do that and go lite to torch to retreat, you come back to the town and it is on fire. If you are with people who are not on that part of the quest, you are each in different towns in the same area.

The Redguard, breton, and orc area is all about pirates. There are some crew members you can pick up and you don't need all of them.

If you pick up different crew members the town is a different instance than your buddy.

Once you leave this is all ok, except you still may not be on the same "shard" and you can teleport to friend or group mate. Mostly this makes your guy go blue and see stars, then nothing happens. Some times it happens, some times it doesn't.

But you might warp to your friend in their shard or you might warp to your friends position in a different shard.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 05:05

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

rainy day posted:

its also irritating that if i want to play an elf and my friend wants to play a redguard or w/e then we can't play together at all without someone being forced to pick a species they dont want to play.

actually if you preorder the game you will be able to play as any race on any faction! lol zenimax

e:fb

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 05:25

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 06:28

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

GROVER CURES HOUSE posted:

there are no iconic characters in tes

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 19:15

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

also the adoring fan

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 19:52

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

when youtube was starting to get big most of the 'most viewed' game videos were of people coming up with different ways to kill the adoring fan

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 19:59

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

steinrokkan posted:

That's the worst map I've ever seen. A loving triangle.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 23:55

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

Corek posted:

uh, even in oblivion cyrodiil was bigger than that. where the gently caress are the left and bottom parts of the map

that was just a fanciful portrayal. this is the real tamriel

# ¿ Feb 9, 2014 02:41

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

lol speaking of fantasy settings i just remembered earlier that the canon name for the world in the dragon age games is thedas, a name a bioware forums user came up with and stands for 'the dragon age setting'

# ¿ Feb 9, 2014 02:48

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

rainy day posted:

stream is finished. hope you enjoyed!

gg bg

# ¿ Feb 9, 2014 07:14

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

just wanted to reiterate how weird it is that a sub based mmo is coming out in 2014

# ¿ Feb 9, 2014 20:51

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

Ponce de Le0n posted:

Also the fact that no one really wanted this at all, apart from people who get excited at the concept of a skyrim mmo before remembering what mmo's are actually like.

How long has this been in development? because i can only think they wanted to quickly capitalize on skyrims/Tes' recent hype and success by making a game where people will pay to play.

since early 2007. so its actually like they wanted to capitalize on oblivions hype

# ¿ Feb 9, 2014 21:33

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

GROVER CURES HOUSE posted:

trip report: made character, talked to prophet, couldnt leave the cell i spawn in

on any character i made

goty 2014

did you take all your equipment off and try, that actually worked in the stream

# ¿ Feb 10, 2014 21:47

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

Crazy Ted posted:

Just make the whole continent of Tamriel like it's a bunch of different Elder Scrolls game but it's single player or co-op and you travel all over the place and you could still mod it yeah I would pay a decent subscription fee for that poo poo

that sounds fun and like something that isnt a skinner box so theres just no way

# ¿ Feb 10, 2014 21:58

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

# ¿ Feb 11, 2014 03:27

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

steinrokkan posted:

I don't understand how anybody can take WoW seriously after the ~~furry Chink~~ Pandaland release.

they made a full expansion revolving around samwises fursona and the next one is all about time traveling. its safe to say theyre out of ideas, probably because all their big villains got killed off in the last 3 expansions

# ¿ Feb 13, 2014 00:50

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

except the titan but theyre saving him for the last expansion in 2030

# ¿ Feb 13, 2014 00:52

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

# ¿ Feb 14, 2014 22:01

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

thanks for moving this back to the good forum

# ¿ Mar 15, 2014 03:29

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

relatively speaking obv

# ¿ Mar 15, 2014 03:30

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

Neurolimal posted:

can we etch out a complete lineage of mmo dogshit yet

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_massively_multiplayer_online_games

# ¿ Apr 14, 2014 08:44

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 00:06

Lumpy the Cook: Feb 4, 2011; Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!

BARONS GAMES WHINER posted:

the EU server of ESO is hosted in the same rack as the US server, in the US.

Serious question: were you the OP of this thread

# ¿ Apr 23, 2014 22:54

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Imp Zone > the elder scrolls online was a steaming turd

Entropic posted:

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

Fabricated posted:

Third World Reggin posted:

Third World Reggin posted:

rainy day posted:

GROVER CURES HOUSE posted:

steinrokkan posted:

Corek posted:

rainy day posted:

Ponce de Le0n posted:

Top Bunk Wanker posted:

Top Bunk Wanker posted:

GROVER CURES HOUSE posted:

Crazy Ted posted:

steinrokkan posted:

Neurolimal posted:

BARONS GAMES WHINER posted: