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Theres a reason that the Fulmer cup died with a whimper. I realize that people want to be all hard in the name of INTERNET JUSTICE but no one wants to keep guys currently facing major criminal charges on the board. Winston? Mike Emmert? Richie Incognito? In. Rice, Hernandez and Sharper? Out.
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May 4, 2014 23:01
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I nominate Jeff Fisher Former USC Trojan. Runs a dirty/hard-hitting team while also having a hand in the competition committee making rules for 'player safety'. Also was enough of a whiny douche to get Bernie Kosar canned from announcing while also casting aspersions on his character: quote:"Bernie's got his issues; they're well documented," Fisher said. "Kellen played well, he played hard, he made plays."
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May 5, 2014 00:22
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Benne posted:You know who needs more nominations? Rick Reilly, for blatantly misquoting his Native American father-in-law to defend the Redskins name, then refusing to retract himself when his father-in-law called him out on it. Oh yeah gently caress Rick Reilly +1 Also a nom forBrian Schottenheimer for murder of passing offense and nepotism. Northwestern for bribing players from unionization because that would distract the team from their goal of winning the Big Ten.
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May 6, 2014 01:31
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On that note: The NFC East For being on every single possible prime time slot, for even the worst sort of football between two bad teams.
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May 6, 2014 06:25
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hey OP could I get a standings update before I do a last-minute mass-vote for the deserving douches?
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May 11, 2014 04:25
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Mooseontheloose posted:I want to add two people and maybe get some last minute consideration: Gonna hope this gets a late charge into the ballot. Charles Chavarria for damaging children's brain cells to turn the into 'men'.
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May 11, 2014 22:56
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Douche4Sale posted:A&M's use is definitely much older (but I'm pretty sure they didn't come up with it either). A&M trademarked it sometime in the 80s and sued the Seahawks over it semi-recently and they settled. I think the Seahawks had to pay a lump sum for their previous uses and then yearly fees to keep using it. Yet the trademark's filing date is five entire calendar years after the Seahawks were using it as a promotional tactic- and about nine decades from its original use, by a team that is not even Texas A&M. The trademark currently solely acts as a method to prevent the other 31 + infinity other eleven-men-on-the-field sporting teams from having use of it, as fighting it in court (and obviously winning easily) would merely open the floodgates for every other team. +1 to Charles Cavarria teaching head-hunting +1 to Brandon Meriweather for head-hunting and then petulantly knee-hunting +1 to Bert Bielema for attempting to leverage the death of a young man to save his coaching career in the SEC +1 to Jameis Winston for drifting through life without a care for any legal consequences +1 to Jimmy Haslam for racketeering criminal investigations and hobo drafting (dumping all five on one candidate is for losers)
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May 12, 2014 21:47
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When I think douche, I think of a tone-deaf idiot incapable of seeing their actions in a negative light, despite a long track record of failure and abuse. So in light of the strong coaching/front office relationship of your SB champion Seattle Seahawks, Michael Lombardi is a next-level douche. To paraphrase Mr. Lombardi from his stints on Simmon's podcast: "you gotta have a handful of blue chippers to win in the National Football League". To paraphrase Aaron Schatz from the same podcast:" lol wut?" Mikey boy is a prime example of considering his own role in making a team critical to success to the such a degree that he completely disregards issues of coaching scheme, rotation, and player development work done by his HC and staff. And this is why Lombardi fires Chud after less than one year, or trades Trent Richardson after calling him a transcendent talent. Which is why he is one of my top douches of this year. Lobstershan acted in counter to HoF douche Daniel Snyder trying to pressure him into giving up guaranteed money this year, and the RG3 injury was last year and partially on the player and medical staff. Joe Banner is merely a useless toady, easily fired and hard to notice when it happens. Without any evidence of wrongdoing, I would rather place full blame on Lombardi for the actions of the Factory of Sadness this year. Patriot Way be upon you, as he would say. (edit for spelling, additional reasoning w/r/t why ML Hammer is more deserving than the other two) Gerund fucked around with this message at 02:16 on May 15, 2014 |
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May 15, 2014 00:49
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Pete Prisco is an anti-labor sonuvabitch, while Mr. Buck is but a lazy hack that has actually improved in the last year that this tournament covers & Merrill Hodge is just a harmless media personality who is more infamous for his necktie than his opinions.
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May 15, 2014 21:36
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Taylor Lewan's sartorial douche-tool is all-pro quality   And then there is his own finger-stache tattoo (yes, a tattoo of something that five-year-olds do with a marker)  But also his dirty-as-gently caress playing style that has resulted in more false starts and personal fouls than anyone else on his team, combined   And yet this is what puts him over-the-top, for me: quote:In November 2009, then-freshman kicker Brendan Gibbons was accused of rape by a female student. Gibbons’ roommate, All-American LT Taylor Lewan, then committed an additional crime by threatening to rape the woman himself if she pressed charges against Gibbons. What’s even more damning is that two fellow football players reported Lewan’s threats to the police themselves, but nothing was done by anyone in the Michigan program to punish these players. Yeah I'm bolding everything because jesus christ  "Now I'm not saying all women deserved to be threatened with rape when they accuse a man of raping them without damning physical evidence and more than five eye witnesses. I'm only here to represent the Titans and myself." TAYLOR LEWAN for being an active part of the rape-culture edit: he had to take his mom to the draft because no other woman would ever talk to him  
Gerund fucked around with this message at 20:23 on May 17, 2014 |
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May 17, 2014 20:19
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Ben Has Tiny Weenus posted:Players I'm predicting a 3/6 upset here; Rice is technically a charged individual for what he did and therefore would skate on the technicality, while Case is literally a corn-fed homophobe. And dat Wildcard bracket has REALLY good matchups up and down the bracket. Group of Death to be sure.
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May 19, 2014 05:31
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Tricky Ed posted:I hope Bama Fandom goes far, but I realize it's really tough to comprehend the sheer slobbering magnitude of it if you've never lived within its clutches. I don't have a problem with (most) Alabama students or alumni, really, but they're massively outnumbered by the people who haven't attended a single class on that or any campus and yet still say "we" when referring to the football team. I wish I could have been there for the wailing this past year, because the only the average fan was more sure of than a third straight Alabama title was that climate change is a myth championed by the scientific elitists. I imagine that in the first match-up, even if that roll tide commercial was made this year it would wilt in the face the onslaught that was the Seahawk facebook memes.
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May 20, 2014 03:00
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We've been terrible for years, but because of that East Coast Bias we don't get the attention we deserve.
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May 20, 2014 04:14
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Some people have brought up recency arguments regarding Taylor Lewan, saying that a majority of his douchey behavior technically falls outside of the year of which we are voting. http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/10954509/taylor-lewan-tennessee-titans-court-case-adjourned-four-weeks quote:ANN ARBOR, Mich. -- Tennessee Titans offensive lineman Taylor Lewan had his court case adjourned for four weeks. "I might be bordering on aggravated assault on the field, but don't hold that against me!" The first interview with Taylor as a Titan, just a scant couple of days ago: @4:15 "It might seem that I crossed the line for no reason. But my QB was sacked a bunch of times last season, mostly from the other lineman. We're supposed to be a team, but I took it personal. I'm going to do some things here and there. I'm willing to be that guy. @7:15 "Whenever you hear about some other man, someone you've never heard of before, threatening a woman, you will think that that guy is a bad person. But today is a fresh start, for all of us." @8:25 "I was really more worried about Brendan in that situation, going through that stuff." @9:10 "I never said anything to any team-mates. So I can't imagine why they would say that." Taylor Lewan is actual scum, and going further in the internet justice tournament means more for a player with a multi-year guaranteed contract than a shitbird that doesn't even play anymore.
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May 22, 2014 23:18
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 A  L  D  O  N  SMITH
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May 25, 2014 22:02
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 You're a loving professional athlete, Ray Rice, pick her up off the ground!
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May 26, 2014 22:42
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Febreeze posted:Dude you should just call it for Rice already. No one has voted for Case McCoy and no one will because there is no contest Before Ray Rice's hypothetical story of abuse and his wife-to-be's apology I was going to make a long effort post saying that Ray Rice was to be charged and so McCoy should move on by technicality. Also the charges that have been filed are quite pithy to begin with. Save Us Based Rog, I guess.
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May 27, 2014 02:31
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For this vote, I'll note the unstated purpose of the Douche of the Year tournament- to provide a catharthis for football fans by serving Internet Justice over persons involved with football who have done things that are purely negative to the sport and its perception. Mike Lombardi and Joe Banner are dumb idiots, but they're also fired idiots. They will not be hanging around football in its dark corners, infecting their horrible opinions MRSA-like onto unsuspecting fanbases. Compare this to Schiano- his name rings out amongst football bloggers as the figurehead to guide their college team to the gloryland. Hes already done stints as an Ohio St. football defensive guru and has been rumored to be close to joining the Patriot's staff. He was nearly hired to be the HC by the Factory of Sadness, a move so dumb that it caused Joe and Mike to be unceremoniously dumped! Schiano's past sins are well-documented. His future sins are full of promise. Death to the Enemies of Greg Schiano
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May 31, 2014 04:17
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Grittybeard posted:Lombardi is already on the Pats staff. He has yet to officially join the staff, he just has been spending time sitting in the same seat as an assistant director of college scouting would sit while he gets paid the rest of his contract from the Bucs. COLOSSAL douche.
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May 31, 2014 05:03
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Nothing Benson is doing is actually douchy. Seizing regulatory control as a means to deprive labor of compensation from injury is A- actually evil, B- not at all unexpected from a rich oligarch or happening in a backwoods shithole like non-New Orleans Louisiana, and C- will only serve to gently caress him over in the long run with the NFL players refusing to sign deals there. Tomlin, on the other hand, unexpectedly interfered with a basic play of football in a way so out of character for such a "classy organization", the Pittsburgh Steelers.
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Jun 2, 2014 14:31
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Militree posted:I'm 99% positive it was a mistake. It was an incredibly stupid thing to do, and very unprofessional to be chilling that far in the side lines, but he didn't think "oh man I'm going to stop this guy this will be sweet." Are you also 99% positive that Mike Tomlin is a stupid unprofessional idiot, but that he wouldn't think- in his stupid unprofessional idiot brain- that his actions would affect the play? Maybe you should have stopped being swayed by this so-called 'cool' character and get with a real adult man that wears his jersey tucked into his shorts.  Being cool is so last decade.
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Jun 3, 2014 00:57
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The crux of my position is that Benson's action is self-defeating in how it would only reduce his own team's ability to sign free agents. Compared to Schiano's ongoing issues and his ability to scoot by with little penance, Benson is not long for the bracket.
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Jun 3, 2014 17:15
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Chilichimp posted:The Patriots organization should be in this bracket and far and away beat Schiano because they A) got Schiano into the NFL and B) gave him another job. Technically he is not employed by the Patriots, allowing him to continue to draw money from the Bucs while he provides "friendship" to the college scouts and defensive coordinators.
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Jun 3, 2014 17:55
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Haslam is under serious FBI investigation, and with an entire swath of Hispanic drivers- targeted because they were vulnerable- waiting for civil rights claims to hurt the man. An owner who is assuredly going to run the team like a drunk sailor until the bullet hits the bone. Haslam will be punished for his douchitude. This is an Internet Justice tournament. The men who control the Dolphins ran with Ireland all the way with Incognito, Ted Ginn's family et al. And then they turned around and fired a man because of his sick wife. Nothing has changed in the Miami culture, and obviously no punishment will change that. DFO for Internet Jusice
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Jun 5, 2014 22:32
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Jeff Fisher
who cares if arkansas does a thing, he'll be fired soon anyway.
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Jun 10, 2014 00:10
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Pete Prisco could be called the most douchey but really its pot and kettle here.
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Jun 12, 2014 18:22
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Colin Cowherd is a local schlock radio upjumped to a national audience. He lacks insight into any sports event and lacks rapport with anyone else in sports. He is diehard anti-union "fiscally conservative" rear end in a top hat and has no place in media. His time at the 'top' of the ESPN pyramid will be thankfully short-lived, as he has already hit his apex and can only continue to dwindle while other, more talented media members develop.
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Jun 14, 2014 18:30
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Benne posted:I can't recall a single notable thing Hines Ward did in the past year, let alone anything douchey enough to merit a nomination. yeah this Phil Mushnik
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Jun 18, 2014 23:05
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Rick Reilly misquoted his native american father in-law to defend daniel snyder's nfl franchise
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Jun 20, 2014 06:50
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What did Notre Dame do this year that wasn't what got them voted in last year? The institutional defense of the mythic 'student-athlete' and amateurism is obviously a selfish and ignoble act, but on the other hand is at least honest with itself and far more inclined to at least attempt to exist in a civil society. The defense of Northwestern, and of amateurism itself, from a largely white, affluent industry of media and school associations comes from a selfish desire to preserve the umpteen 'olympic sports' as a method to help Little Johnny Suburb with his schooling by playing water polo and floor gymnastics. A douche is Northwestern Apologists
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Jul 24, 2014 21:57
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TubeStank posted:EDIT: Chuck doesn't even have his job or the show anymore. The people on the TPD who "investigated" Winston are still working. Yeah, for Internet Justice, the dickhead coach will at least be eating crow for the foreseeable future. TPD will be shielding FDU football forever and ever, tomahawk chop.
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Jul 26, 2014 22:50
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One of the major parts that puts one entrant over another in the Ben Roethlisberger Douche of the Year annual tournament is one factor that Big Ben himself saw fit to epitomise - the Douche that gets away scot free, unbeaten and unaffected by their actions. The 12s, the Twelfth Man, Fan #12, etc will not be beaten or made ashamed of anything this year- more specifically, they cannot possibly be beaten or ashamed of anything this year. The 12s are the ones with a guinness record and a lombardi trophy in the case. And as making horrific memes is not a crime, at no point will the Seahawk Fanbase ever have to serve time. Popcorn from one dude isn't the same thing as getting stab-happy during a preseason game. At this point, let it happen. I'm voting straight The Twelfth Man at every level at this tournament and will purchase a commemorative trophy to celebrate the achievement. Because this year, no one can say poo poo except to complain that we're cheering a team that is winning, after having been supporting the team for decades. Vote for the 12s, because we think that we're the champions.
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Jul 30, 2014 00:16
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Zurreco posted:Hope I'm not too late to vote for the entire Alabama fanbase. I mean, seriously, they take NCAAF fandom to a lower level than I had thought possible. This will never be as good a story as it is in my head, where the 'bama fan runs in shouting "roll" and then shouts "tide" like an extended kungfu movie Hi Ya!
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Jul 31, 2014 23:36
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Spoeank posted:A Seahawks fan railing against Aldon Smith for getting off light for drunk driving after he spent time in rehab and is still facing suspension. Meanwhile everyone sort of forgot Marshawn Lynch had a DUI as well. Hmm yes I wonder why one DUI is considered to be more of a threat to human life than another- Gerund posted:
Oh poo poo, a piece of human filth leaving a stain of tire filth! Aldon Smith
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Aug 6, 2014 01:28
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Raku posted:Jameis Winston hasn't suffered even a loving two game suspension for being caught red-handed raping a girl This is where I'm at as well
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Aug 6, 2014 16:28
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Well you see, we really shouldn't compare the two across leagues. That's why I've invented a defense-adjusted stat (with a base line off 100, of course) that meshes with the eye test- Miles Davis's numbers are amazing across any era, of course, (this is the worst argument)
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Aug 6, 2014 21:11
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Chilichimp posted:I'm voting for Greg Schiano, because outside of being the poster boy for douche-bag coaching, he presided over the organization that allowed MRSA to end the promising career of All-pro Guard, Carl Nicks. To what degree he can be blamed for a dirty locker room, I agree. But the Freeman affair makes Greg Schiano a giant douche.
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Aug 7, 2014 15:02
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Dolphins Front Office and it isn't really a debate. The DFO has been horrible for the last decade since they hired Nick Saban with little if anything to show for it except for a few good Ricky Williams seasons. The other guy is a forgettably mediocre person wasting his time in the SEC.
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Aug 8, 2014 21:20
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Grittybeard posted:Pete Prisco wrote this. Nolan Nawrocki is the reason you see fake smile jokes. They're definitely all jerks. Pete Prisco honestly advocated against paying players for having been lied to about the effects of concussions. The other two are a water-headed sedentary capitalist scum and a caste football-esque draft organ, which has far less impact than honestly exclaiming that labor doesn't deserve compensation.
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Aug 9, 2014 21:08
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| # ¿ May 2, 2024 16:47 |
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Rick Reilly wishes he could succeed as well as Bill Simmons has as a writer, despite all facts showing that he is a milquetoast Sunday columnist better suited to a weekly article raising a marginal topic to the surface. Instead, he went out during the last half-decade of his career attempting to throw elbows in the hot take atmosphere, eventually resulting in his infamous misquote of his own father-in-law. However this is not the only terrible thing he put to word processor: he Tut-tutted at Kap for not wanting to meet his birth-mother, derailed a post-game show to (incorrectly) demand first-on-twitter credit for reporting on an injury, THE MOST SMUG LILY-WHITE ARTICLE ON ATHLETE TATTOOS OF ALL TIME, made a completely self-involved, born-on-third speech to the last pure journalism class from his alma mater, misquoted MLK in order to huff his own self-righteousness over the post-Osama assassination celebrations. The other guy is a minor idiot writing small screeds to be read by lower forms of life. Reilly is someone who demanded a gigantic contract from ESPN to move from his back-of-SI article space. And instead of acting as a counter-balance to the Bill Simmons machine, he instead floundered like a fish flopping on a dry lake bed. Reilly had much more volume to speak with, but ultimately had nothing positive to add. edit: Further: He was paid $17 million to leave SI, and part of that was a hosting gig of a show that died immediately, a schmaltzy work of athletes back in their hometowns, a stupid book about stupid sports written in a you're-stupid-for-buying this tone, and ultimately retiring with an archive full of stories he already wrote last decade. Gerund fucked around with this message at 00:58 on Aug 12, 2014 |
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Aug 12, 2014 00:43
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