Star Citizen: Even the Pope won't invite me to dinner to discuss religion

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Star Citizen: Even the Pope won't invite me to dinner to discuss religion

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3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

SwissArmyDruid posted:

And then wonder, why the gently caress do they have to rotate in opposed directions?

Why can't they just all rotate together?

For all the failings of the CIG design team, having contra-rotating sections makes more sense for a spacecraft than not: the momentum from one rotating section will cause the whole craft to roll uncontrollably, which is also why helicopters have secondary rotors.

Of course, having three rotating sections throws the whole thing out of whack so it's still not the greatest design, but I suppose it's the principle of the thing.

# ¿ Feb 21, 2015 21:59

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 08:44

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONq34ospaJM

104TC: As translated into Ork.

Q1. My mob gots weedy gits dat would make a Blood Axe look good. Dis game is gonna 'ave locks dat my boyz can't get through 'less I sayz so, right?
A1. A right krumpin' is da best sekuritee ya can 'ave, but for dem humies we got locks.

Q2. Orks is made fer rockin' and I want my ladz ta hear wut I got.
A2. No freebootin' ya git. Ya listen ta wut ya got, not wut da uvver guy has.

Q3. Dat bright fingy in da sky 'urts me eyes when I look at it. Da mek says it's got sumtin ta do wit radiashun, wutever dat is. Can I use da sun ta 'urt da uvver guy? I mean it's not exaclty krumpin' wit a choppa, but ya take wut ya can git.
A3. My lads say dat we've got plans ta use radiashun from bright fingys ta muck wit yer fightas and kroozers right good. Not now, ya see, but when we'ze done wit stuff.

Q4. I'm a Bad Moon and I gots lots o' teef. I'm too dumb ta fink about it, so I'z gunna ask you about da grades o' loot.
A4. You'ze a right git for wastin' my time wit dis. OF COURSE DER'S GONNA BE GOOD LOOT AND BEST LOOT! AND DA BEST LOOT WILL BE ZOGGIN' 'ARD TA FIND! Check yer noggin' and see if da doc replaced yer brain wit a squig.

Q5. I wanna haul poop.
A5. Outta all da humies, you iz da worst.

Q6. Biggest is best. Can I stuff da kroozer wit more gunz so dat I always 'ave da right dakka for da job? Da right dakka meaning MORE DAKKA.
A6. 'Ard points is 'ard points, ya can't change dem in flight. Der will be racks fer gunz and choppas and wutnot if ya wants ta grab sumtin fer a fight.

Q7. BOSS! BOSS! We found dis 'ere sim pod fingy. Can we put it on da kroozer?
A7. Good idea, glad I came up wit it!

Q8. I wanna be a squig herder. I also wanna be a mad doc. Can I be a squig doc?
A8. Squigs can be hurt, sure, but dey'z ZOGGIN PETS. Yer squig can't 'ave cyber legs no matter how much ya want it.

Q9. When I dakka, will da nature o' da world dat I'm dakkaing change how da dakka... dakkas? Like if da world is 'uge and my gun is 'eavy, will da shooty bits be 'eavy too? Bigger gunz is best, right?
A9. Da shooty bits is REAL, and dey zoggin 'URT when dey hit ya. Damage is a function o' da mass of da shooty bit as well as da speed of da shooty bit (red shooty bits go fasta). Da fiziks of da world will change da shooty bits.

Q10. When we and da ladz wanna krump sumtin ('ERE WE GO!), wuts ta prevent us from fitting da whole mob in a ship?
A10. We'ze using 2nd edition battlewagon roolz 'ere. GET ON BOARD LADZ IF YA CAN FIT YA CAN FIGHT!

GORK'S GROIN, ME THROAT 'URTS

# ¿ Feb 24, 2015 01:58

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

SwissArmyDruid posted:

Yeah, okay, gently caress Tindeck, trying to listen to it on android is a miserable experience of getting bombarded with ads that don't go to the content you want. Fairly warned, ya mobile grots.

The machine-spirit in your phone is angry; here's a direct link to the mp3.

# ¿ Feb 24, 2015 02:47

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

If Beer keeps writing 'em, I'll keep recording 'em :toot:

# ¿ Feb 24, 2015 06:14

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

DasKuend posted:

Not empty quoting :allears:

# ¿ Feb 24, 2015 16:06

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

Technically I recorded this shortly after PAX South, but didn't do anything public with it because I'm a lazy sod.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gr8jwjHwvLU

Download MP3

# ¿ Feb 24, 2015 22:27

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

How the gently caress are ironsights obsolete :psyduck:

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 05:50

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

I would definitely trust the reliability of a compact fusion reactor developed by Lockheed "the F-35 is perfect in every way" Martin, no questions asked.

vvvvv of course it is :allears:

3 fucked around with this message at 04:44 on Mar 6, 2015

# ¿ Mar 6, 2015 04:39

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

Hirethor posted:

Oh there's no doubt that skunkworks was pushing out incredible aircraft in the 1950s and 60s. The LockMart of the 21st century on the other hand is responsible for such groundbreaking technologies as: an air superiority fighter that disintegrates on contact with moisture and asphyxiates its own pilot, and a multirole fighter capable of doing all the things previous generation fighter craft can do except worse and more expensively.

3 fucked around with this message at 05:13 on Mar 6, 2015

# ¿ Mar 6, 2015 05:10

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

I don't understand how they expect to bank on the Descent name without having a Pyro GX or variant headlining.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2015 20:28

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

Beast Pussy posted:

Maybe we can ask for a stretch goal called Descent 42.

You joke, but I'd stab a motherfucker in a heartbeat for a proper Descent 4. (No, Freespace doesn't count)

# ¿ Mar 11, 2015 00:38

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

Joined 4 Guffaws

# ¿ Mar 11, 2015 22:20

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

One hundred gigabytes.

# ¿ Mar 12, 2015 04:59

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

shankerz posted:

Two bad its broken and keeps refreshing as you reload the page..

# ¿ Mar 13, 2015 06:34

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

One step closer to my dream:

quote:

I want the opposite. Replace the missile racks with Merlin bays. Replace the turrets with Merlins on swivels. Bolt Merlins to the engine pods. Arrange dozens of Merlins in the rough shape of a Constellation and have it explode into a cloud of Merlins when threatened.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2015 21:36

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

SwissArmyDruid posted:

Now put them on a Merlin.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2015 05:07

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

Nicholas posted:

I didn't watch the video but the guy on the right has actually been to outer space.

Richard Garriott holds the interesting distinction of being the first man to have his employment terminated by a videogame company while in space.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2015 20:25

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

shankerz posted:

That's easy. They won't smell like poo poo and won't have saliva dripping from their mouths after they got to see Chris Roberts. They will probably be the only ones in the room who don't look like they are 45 years old and living out of their mothers basement (command center). If you ask by name you can probably tell as the pubbies have surly changed their real birth names to names like warlock ect. Also Goons seem to ask better questions as Beer4TheBeerGod has proven.

# ¿ Mar 16, 2015 03:23

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

Informed Consent posted:

Seriously though, if I had a job that paid well enough that I could just blow 10 grand on something stupid, i'd probably rather do this than buy an apple watch or an ugly painting

So instead of something with tangible aesthetic value, you get instead:

# ¿ Mar 20, 2015 01:31

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

1.1 is out

(You'll need to grab a new installer since the old launcher has been phased out, presumably for being bad and terrible.)

# ¿ Mar 21, 2015 00:15

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

Don't hold your breath, on first glance the "new" launcher looks pretty much identical. Given that every time a major patch came through in the past I had to pretty much download and install the whole game over again anyway, this just formalizes the process I suppose.

# ¿ Mar 21, 2015 00:20

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

Generation Internet posted:

The Retaliator brochure is up:

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/media/7jnt1hhl3za8cr/source/Retaliator-Brochure-V6.pdf

EDIT: Gotta admit, I like the whole "museum pamphlet" style of presentation this time, it's a pretty charming departure from the usual car dealership brochure aesthetic.

# ¿ Mar 21, 2015 05:46

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

TasogareNoKagi posted:

It's a space B-52;

Ahem.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2015 15:57

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

Bolow posted:

Plz the Bone is way loving cooler.

I mean it's called the Bone

Bone's a p. cool name. Blackjack is a much cooler name _{(yeah I know it's a reporting name)}.

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

People who send alcohol to game developers are weird.

Especially the people who attach weirdly self-referential art to the alcohol for cheap laughs.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2015 23:18

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

Napoleon Bonaparty posted:

Can't wait to have the wings shot off the space airplane that literally do nothing in space.

Like, I know this is bullshit WWII airplanes in space made by a guy who doesn't understand how angular momentum works, but having the wings stay out in space is literally the dumbest thing I can imagine, especially since (unlike the hornet and some other poo poo) there's nothing useful attached to them.

They're radiators, problem solved.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2015 00:33

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

This does bring up one of the things I don't like about CIG's obsession with this whole "let's make a realistic thrust simulation" direction they've been going with these spaceships though. I would've been completely fine with "they're spaceships, it's the future, gently caress you;" tons of sci-fi gets away with that and no one questions it because it's just part of enjoying the fiction. But once they call attention to it by claiming to adhere to realistic physics and then get it noticeably wrong, it's suddenly a lot more irritating for some reason.

# ¿ Mar 27, 2015 00:40

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

There is a legitimately good game buried under all the stupid design choices (hey let's load the hangar every single time you boot the game and end a match, this won't be tedious at all) and network issues. If the game didn't hang for like 5 seconds every time a player died/spawned/joined the match, it would improve the quality of dogfighting by pretty much 90%.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2015 05:17

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

I think that would be fantastic. Make it so that whenever you sit in the pilot's chair you start absent-mindedly pushing buttons and making random poo poo happen. Like you sit in the chair and go PEW PEW PEW and accidentally fire the main guns, or flick some buttons and random access panels on the ship start to open and close while crazy warnings blare on the ship.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fr94DmuzsLo

# ¿ Apr 15, 2015 23:55

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

No, no, no, you have to wait until someone actually posts "source your quotes" to actually source your quotes, the joke doesn't work nearly as well otherwise.

# ¿ Apr 17, 2015 06:04

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

Klyith posted:

I just looked at the latest Scott Manley vid. Does using a turret while someone else is flying a ship work as badly as it seems to there? Cause he was only doing it for about 30 seconds and the desynch was real. He was relying on a random pubbie though, maybe goons have gotten together and been able to aim a turret without feeling like the inside of a clothes dryer.

Having flown with goons recently, I can pretty much assure you with 100% certainty that multicrew is not ready for primetime (which is presumably why turrets are still freeflight only).

# ¿ Apr 17, 2015 23:09

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

Bootcha posted:

Today was boring, so I did this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xx6QMm5QDdk

God bless you, god bless Jon Bois, and godspeed you! black emperor

# ¿ Apr 24, 2015 03:58

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

Cpt Underpants posted:

Best thing I ever read about milspergs:

# ¿ May 6, 2015 12:49

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

Hyper Vanguard Force IV is a pretty neat little shmup, if a bit short. The shield mechanic is pretty nifty once you get the hang of not jamming down the fire button like any other shmup, and the stage 3 Caterpillar boss was a fun surprise. Broadside beam cannons!

# ¿ May 10, 2015 04:48

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

No, I meant that for whatever reason the game wouldn't work when I stopped firing. It would lag hard or the ship would freeze up and I would be destroyed.

I had issues with my ship sticking in place when I wasn't firing madly until I fullscreened it, maybe try that?

# ¿ May 10, 2015 18:12

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

Capntastic posted:

Wow, rude as gently caress. And you're a teacher?

I suppose "cautionary tale" technically meets that job description.

# ¿ May 18, 2015 03:55

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

shankerz posted:

Invest more time in spelling.

# ¿ May 18, 2015 05:17

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

redwalrus posted:

jesus god and all the saints

# ¿ May 31, 2015 16:03

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

Hey Darkpriest, I found a song for you to lipsync:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0uEmeEaDnQ

quote:

LYRICS:
I am just a space poor
And my story's often told
I have squandered my life's savings
On a hangar full of fish and empty promises
Two weeks to go
Still a man spends what he wants to spend
Everybody needs to know

When I sold my home and the family car,
To buy this Vanduul Scythe
I was posting on the forums
Getting trolled by all the goons 'cause I had
Concierge
Laying low, seeking out the other subreddits
Where space nerds venture most
Looking for a place
Where goons would never post

Asking only your approval
I've come joining for a guild,
But I get no offers,
Just a callout from the goons
About my fashion sense
I must confess,
There were times when I was so desperate
I went to GBS

And I'm looking at the stretch goals now
And wishing I had bought,
A little more
Like another Constellation
Or a Javelin
Javelin
A little more

In the forums posts a shitlord,
With some red text by his name
And he carries the reminders
Of ev'ry goon that laid him down
Or mocked him till he cried out
In his anger but no shame,
"This is bullshit, I want space court"
But the red text still remains

# ¿ Jun 6, 2015 18:34

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

DasKuend posted:

You have a nice girly voice wanna meet?

# ¿ Jun 6, 2015 21:40

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# ¿ May 12, 2024 08:44

3: Aug 26, 2006; The Magic Number; College Slice

janssendalt posted:

Why is that thing saying it will be released in 14 days?

Am I missing a joke somewhere? Or did someone go delusional some time ago and thought SC was actually ever coming out this year?

# ¿ Jun 8, 2015 13:19

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Star Citizen: Even the Pope won't invite me to dinner to discuss religion

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