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a new study bible!
Feb 2, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


What should I know?

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Pre-Cambrian Syndrome
Jan 6, 2006

you're late

Kaincypher
Apr 24, 2008
The entire last season was a dream sequence. Ross is in a coma and slowly slipping into blackness, the last season is all he his comatose nightmare as he slips into the beyond. Truly, the endless abyss is where your love life is DOA

Funkstar Deluxe
May 7, 2007

「☆☆☆」
i can't remember what happened so please keep us updated, OP

verily carefree
Apr 5, 2014

ross kills rachel

Frostwerks
Sep 24, 2007

by Lowtax
too bad you couldnt watch the series finale with friends.

Frostwerks
Sep 24, 2007

by Lowtax
(you have none)

Frostwerks
Sep 24, 2007

by Lowtax
(thats ok, neither do i)

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

im really feeling bad atm

i mean i really feel sad right now

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK
Sep 11, 2001



they were on a break

theperminator
Sep 16, 2009

by Smythe
Fun Shoe
they all go to jail

Phoon
Apr 23, 2010

everyone is fine with rachel moving to paris with ross' daughter, nobody even questions it its weird. its not like he was an absent father

Fagmaster
Aug 21, 2004

joeys head gets stuck on the door again but this time its permanent

lonesomedwarf
Mar 22, 2010

chandeler is tied up and he enjoys it. He has permanent bologna and cheese tounge and is fully delitized with cream cheese blood and processed meat veins. Foreverial tiedup chandler is permanent bondage and love it. He licks the other friends with his bologna tounge and they become delitized as well.

babypolis
Nov 4, 2009

lonesomedwarf posted:

chandeler is tied up and he enjoys it. He has permanent bologna and cheese tounge and is fully delitized with cream cheese blood and processed meat veins. Foreverial tiedup chandler is permanent bondage and love it. He licks the other friends with his bologna tounge and they become delitized as well.

this episode is a classic. the part where joey starts eating himself and says "mamma mia im delicious!" is one of my favorite scenes

Peanut Butler
Jul 25, 2003



Teaser:
On the holodeck, Lieutenant Joey and Counselor Phoebe have just finished a walk on the Black Sea beach at night. Phoebe gets a bit irritated when Joey refers to their romantic experience as nothing more than "stimulating" and rolls her eyes when he tries to add that it was "very stimulating". On the way back, Phoebe discusses how she doesn't spend enough time on the holodeck, and should go there more often. Joey is about to drop her off at her quarters, but wants to talk about their next date. He feels that they should get approval from Commander Chandler before continuing their relationship but Phoebe firmly states that their relationship does not need such approval.

Joey is about to kiss Phoebe goodnight, when Captain Ross walks off the turbolift. In a hurried mood, he asks Phoebe for the date, to which Joey answers that it is stardate 47988. Ross confirms the date with himself, before he reveals to Phoebe that he, without knowing the reason, is moving back and forth through time.

Act One:
In Counselor Phoebe's quarters, Ross explains the experience. He had the feeling he was in the past. Phoebe asks for a description, but Ross says that it is as hard to remember as remembering a dream. He remembers that it was years ago, before he took command of the USS Central Perk-D. But then, the experience was that of him in the future, as an old man. He remembers being outside, but can not remember any specifics. Phoebe asks him to consider if this was a dream, but Ross says that the experience was much more real than a dream. The very touch of things was more real than a dream. Phoebe asks how long he was in each period, but Ross responds that he is not sure. He remembers feeling disoriented, but this soon passed, and he felt as if everything was perfectly normal. As soon as he tries to explain something, the scene changes.

Ross is now an old man in a vineyard, tying some vines. As he does this, he hears his pet monkey's voice, jokingly complaining about an issue on the Central Perk as he approaches, smiling warmly. Ross is very delighted to see his old friend. His pet monkey is unsure of how to refer to the ambassador. Ross suggests Ross, but his pet monkey doesn't feel sure about calling him that, and settles on captain, like he had done twenty-five years prior, on the Central Perk. his pet monkey offers to help, and tells Ross how to help his plants grow better, saying he picked up some tips from his wife Leah. Ross asks how she is, and how the kids (Alandra, Bret, and Sidney) are. his pet monkey responds that they are just fine, but Bret is applying to Starfleet Academy in the next year. It is at this moment his pet monkey confesses that he stopped by to see Ross and how he was holding up to his newly-contracted Irumodic Syndrome. As they go back to Ross's house, Ross tells his pet monkey what he thought of his latest novel, but in the middle of a comment, he suddenly sees a strange group of people, dressed in shabby clothes, and supposedly mocking Ross. his pet monkey apparently does not see the people, but before Ross can say anything, the scene shifts again, to another time period.

On board a shuttlecraft, Monica, an old member of the crew, is talking with Ross about any previous experiences with Galaxy-class starships. He states that he has never been aboard one, but is familiar with the blueprints and schematics. Monica comments that the Central Perk is quite a ship, and the shuttle is cleared for arrival. Outside the window, the USS Central Perk is docked at McKinley Station, in orbit of Earth. The time shifts back to the "present," in Phoebe's quarters, and he tells her that he was just with Monica in the shuttle.

Act Two:
In sickbay, Rachel reports that she found nothing to indicate hallucinations. There are also no indications of temporal displacement, and Rachel believes that Ross is enjoying waking people up in the middle of the night, to which he responds that he really just likes running around the ship in his bare feet. Nurse Ursula Buffay gives Rachel bio-spectral results, but these also show no signs of temporal displacement. After asking Phoebe to excuse them for a moment, she tells Ross about results of a scan for Irumodic Syndrome. There were no signs of the disorder itself, but there is a defect that could lead to the syndrome. Although she says that it is possible to live a whole life without developing problems, she is not confident about it. Chandler enters to report that Joey has found nothing on his security scans. Joey comes on the comm to report that there is a transmission from Admiral Nakamura. Ross answers it, to hear that there is now a fleet-wide yellow alert. Nearly thirty Romulan warbirds have been diverted to the Neutral Zone, and there is also some sort of spatial anomaly in the Devron system. The orders are to go to their side of the Neutral Zone, and to find out what the situation is, and what the anomaly is. They cannot, however, enter the Neutral Zone until the Romulans do.

Suddenly, the time shifts to the future, but this time, Ross notices the difference. He says that he was somewhere else a few minutes ago, a long time ago, talking to Rachel. He notices that he was on the Central Perk, in sickbay, but conjectures that it may have been a hospital. his pet monkey wants to call Ross's doctor, thinking that it is the Irumodic Syndrome, but Ross says that it is not. his pet monkey then asks what he wants to do about it, and Ross responds that he wants to see Paul Rudd, to which his pet monkey agrees. Then, Ross sees the strange, barbaric people again, but doesn't understand yet. Again, his pet monkey sees nothing, and then takes Ross to go see Paul Rudd. They go to Cambridge, and Ross explains how real the experience was. Paul Rudd's housekeeper offers them tea, and Ross accepts. As Ross and his pet monkey attempt to exchange seats with Paul Rudd's cats (who seem to be sitting on every available chair, shelf, or other horizontal surface), Ross starts to compliment Paul Rudd's home. Paul Rudd explains that it is one of the perks of holding the Lucasian Chair at Cambridge, the home itself once belonging to Sir Isaac Newton, one of the early Lucasian professors. Paul Rudd then goes on to explain the change in his hair color, and then Ross remarks that the tea is not Earl Grey. Paul Rudd asks Ross about how long it has been since he has seen a doctor about his Irumodic Syndrome. Ross responds a week, and starts to explain that Paul Rudd, too, thinks that his time shifting is all a delusion, an idea which Paul Rudd says had indeed crossed his mind. Yet, Paul Rudd says that because there is no evidence to disprove Ross, they can run some neurographic scans with the equipment on campus. He tells Ross that they will get to the bottom of this. As Ross says that this is the Paul Rudd he remembers and could count on, another time shift occurs.

In the past, Captain Ross just exits the shuttlecraft with Monica. Ross then commences to read the orders which placed him in command, but is interrupted several times by the strange people he saw in the future. The assembled crew look around and see no one present. As he finishes reading the orders, he goes to shake hands with Counselor Phoebe, but is again distracted by the shouting people he sees. Deeply disturbed, Ross calls for red alert and orders all crew to battle stations. The crew look puzzled at each other, hardly the reaction they were expecting from their new captain, but Lieutenant Monica barks at them to follow Ross's orders and everyone quickly exits the shuttlebay to comply. Ross, alone, takes hold of himself and with concern, exits as well.

Act Three:
In the observation lounge, Ross, noting the golden models of the previous Central Perks adorning the wall which had long since been removed from the lounge in his original time frame, makes a notation in his personal log, recorded under security lockout, stating that he will not tell his crew about his time shifting, afraid of altering the timeline. Other members of the senior staff enter. Monica reports that scans showed no unusual anomalies, and Joey asks if they could know exactly what they are looking for. Ross does not answer, but asks the counselor if she senses a foreign alien presence, one with great intelligence, but the counselor states that she only senses the ship's crew and families. Ross then asks Joey to issue a level 2 security alert, which surprises Monica, as she is the security chief. Realizing his mistake, Ross promptly corrects himself, and asks Monica to issue the alert. Chief Tom Selleck then calls Ross to the bridge.

Starfleet has issued an alert, stating that a number of vessels, mainly freighters, are moving to the Neutral Zone between Romulan and Federation space. A large spatial anomaly has appeared in the Devron system, the same place an anomaly was detected in the present. Joey remarks that it could be a Romulan trick to lure their ships, and Tom Selleck states that Starfleet has canceled the mission to Farpoint, ordering the Central Perk to the Neutral Zone. Ross however, states that they will continue the mission to Farpoint, despite orders. Monica is surprised at this, but Ross stands firm. He tells Phoebe that he has no reason, but then correctly guesses that there is a problem with the warp plasma inducers. He asks Tom Selleck to accompany him to engineering, where he gives the chief instructions to bypass the plasma inducers. Tom Selleck is hesitant to make any corrections, stating that it should be the chief engineer who makes these modifications. However, Ross puts his confidence in Tom Selleck. As he asks for more help, he states that they will need to "burn the midnight oil," something which the Paul Rudd of the time states would be inadvisable. He tells Tom Selleck not to ignite anything, but Tom Selleck states how it was an expression to relate that they would need to work late. Ross then welcomes the commander on board, and asks for his help on the infusor array. Paul Rudd identifies the problem, and states that they will need to "ignite the midnight petroleum" to fix the problem.

Suddenly, Ross shifts back to the present. He starts to describe that he remembers more each time he shifts. He states that at first, he felt that he was in the future, and then he suddenly had the experience of being in the past. Rachel then states that a scan she just did indicates that Ross has somehow accumulated over two days worth of memories in a matter of minutes, evidence that he is indeed traveling through time.

Act Four:
In the observation lounge, Ross tries to put things straight. Phoebe does not remember any of the events in the past such as the red alert, or the diversion to the Neutral Zone. Paul Rudd states that there appears to be a discontinuity between time periods, but Chandler states that there appears to be the same anomaly in the Devron system in both time frames, something too coincidental. his pet monkey theorizes that it may be some kind of temporal disturbance, but Rachel asks what this has to do with the time shifting. Ross says that these are good questions, but he doesn't have the answers yet. He wants everyone to prepare battle readiness reports to cope with the Romulan threat, and ends the meeting. Chandler asks Phoebe if she wants to have dinner before the late night work, but she says that she already has plans with Joey. There appears to be some sort of tension, and this bothers Chandler, who loses his awareness for a few moments. Ross than tells Chandler that because the time shifts coincide with disorientation, Chandler should be ready to take command. He then goes to his ready room, and Rachel follows. She gets him some warm milk, and observing that he's exhausted, orders him to sleep. Ross notices the look of worry on Rachel's face, and she brings up the issue of his possible Irumodic Syndrome. She reminds him that he knows the disease will occur, but Ross takes her hands in his, smiles warmly at her, and says that the future is not written in stone. The two share a tender, but romantic kiss. Rachel then agrees with him and leaves.

In the future, his pet monkey wakes Ross, and Ross asks if they have reached the Neutral Zone. He explains to his pet monkey that he was in the past, and tells him they have to get to the neutral zone in this time period. his pet monkey asks why, and Ross tells him about the anomaly in the Devron system, but his pet monkey says that it may all be coincidental. Ross insists that they have to check, and his pet monkey agrees. However, his pet monkey brings up a potential problem, there is no neutral zone, ever since the Klingons took over the Romulan Star Empire. Yet his pet monkey says that they will need a ship to get to the Neutral Zone, and Ross asks him to contact Admiral Chandler. Admiral Chandler says that he cannot help. Ross asks what if the anomaly is really there, but Chandler simply responds that the latest report from Starfleet Intelligence states no unusual activity in the Devron system. Ross refuses to believe this, wanting to go there to see for himself. Chandler states that he will have the Yorktown conduct scans, stating that it is the best he can do. He ends the transmission, and Ross gets upset that he cannot go. Paul Rudd however, has an option. They could arrange passage on a medical ship, which has been granted permission to help Romulans fight off a strain of Terrellian plague. Ross supports the idea, and his pet monkey states that now they need to find a medical ship. Ross however, can arrange this. He asks Paul Rudd to find the USS Pasteur, saying that he has some pull with Ross. The Pasteur arrives in orbit with Dr. Rachel in command. She welcomes the three of them aboard, and tells Ross that his idea is absurd, but then again, she could never say no to him. A member of the bridge crew calls out for "Captain Ross" and both Ross and Rachel respond with a yes. Ross replies to Rachel that she kept his last name, suggesting a marriage and subsequent divorce of these two in this future timeline, hence Ross of the Pasteur is actually Captain Beverly Ross. She says that they need to get clearance to cross the border, and his pet monkey suggests contacting Joey. Ross immediately agrees, stating that Joey is the answer. Rachel asks Ross to get some rest, but Ross says that he is not an invalid. Rachel apologizes, and then Ross agrees to go get some rest. As soon as he leaves, Rachel asks them about what they think of his story, and all three silently agree that they don't believe it. However, she states that they will go on one more mission if it is what Ross wants to do. In the turbolift, Ross asserts to himself that they will indeed find the anomaly.

As he exits the turbolift, he is in the past, asking for a report. Tom Selleck states that they are nearing the coordinates he was given, and Ross asks Paul Rudd to scan for something unusual, a strong barrier of some sort. Paul Rudd reports that there is nothing there. Ross states that this is the right place, and the right time, but "he" is not here. Monica asks who, and Ross yells for Q. He states that he knows Q is there, but there is no response. Ross again asks the counselor if she senses an alien presence, and Joey asks Monica what is a "Q," who responds that all she knows is that it is a letter of the alphabet. Ross doesn't understand why history is not happening the way it should, but he suddenly shifts to the courtroom in which he had his first encounter with Q. He finally recognizes the barbaric people he has been seeing, and Q appears as he did seven years prior, stating that he thought Ross would never figure out it was Q who was behind it.

Act Five:
In the courtroom, Ross demands to know what is going on. Q asks Ross if he doesn't know, based on where he is. Ross then recounts that the last time he was standing in that courtroom, he was accused for being the representative of a savage race. Ross stated that they had agreed that the "trial" was over, but Q says that he will not help connect the dots, thinking it would be boring. He then offers Ross the chance to ask ten yes-or-no questions, and he will answer. Q states that he is not putting mankind on trial again. He does say, however, that there is a connection between the trial seven years ago and these events. The anomaly is related to what is going on, but it is not a Romulan creation to start a war. Q also states that he did not create the anomaly, but that he is responsible for the time shifts. Ross however, loses his chance to asks more questions when he asks why. Q then states that the trial never ended, and that they have been ruled guilty. Q states that the Human race has failed to expand their minds. Ross defends that Humanity is what it is, but Q states otherwise. Their trek through the stars will be terminated, and Humanity will be denied existence. Ross states that even Q is incapable of such an act, but Q then says that it is not Q who destroys Humanity, it is Ross. Q states that Ross is doing it, has done it, and will do it again. Q then closes the court, and Ross is sent back to the present. He immediately goes to the bridge, and reports to Commander Chandler that they have a bigger problem than they thought. He wants red alert, and a senior staff meeting immediately.

Act Six:
In the observation lounge, the senior staff discusses the situation. his pet monkey thinks it is another one of Q's tricks, but Ross disagrees. He believes Q to be serious, but both Rachel and Phoebe say that there is an apparent confusion in Q's statement about that fact that he has, and is causing the destruction of humanity. However, Paul Rudd points out that the discontinuities in the three time periods makes Q's statement accurate, if confusing. Now Ross conjectures that he may have to lock himself up in all three time periods, but Chandler says that action in itself will cause Humanity's destruction. Counselor Phoebe warns them not to second guess, and believes that the best course of action is to handle each situation as it arrives. Ross agrees, and then goes on to describe a curious side note. He states that Q is responsible for his time shifts, and believes that there may be a way to actually save Humanity. Chandler asks why, and Ross responds that it is only logical. Q has always had an interest in Ross, and seems to have more than just a passing observation. An officer states over the comm that they are approaching the Neutral Zone. Paul Rudd scans, and finds four Romulan Warbirds holding place on the Romulan side. The USS Concord and USS Bozeman are waiting on the Federation side. Joey hails the lead Warbird, but a time shift occurs, placing Ross in the future.

Joey is now on the viewscreen of the USS Pasteur. Rachel and Joey exchange quick greetings, and then Rachel asks if he has had time to read their request. Joey reports however, that he is no longer a member of the Klingon High Council, and that he must refuse, for their own safety. If they had a ship with a cloak, it would have been safer, and criticizes Chandler for not helping them, but Ross doesn't care. He needs to get to the Devron system. Ross then tells Joey that the Joey he remembered was more concerned with honor than regulations. But Ross remarks that this was a long time ago, and that perhaps Joey has changed. Joey gets outraged at this, and Joey reluctantly allows them to cross the border, provided that he comes with them. Ross accepts these terms. Beverly tells Ross, though, that if they run into any trouble, she is pulling them out. As soon as Joey is aboard, she sets course for the Devron system, warp 13. She allows Ross to give the order to engage, but as he does, he shifts back to the past.

Tom Selleck asks where to engage to, and Ross responds to engage to the Devron system, warp 9. Monica states that the Devron system is in the Romulan neutral zone, but Ross disregards the warning. Counselor Phoebe then asks Ross to speak to her in his ready room. Ross also asks Monica to contact Farpoint Station. He wants to speak to Chandler. In Ross's ready room, Phoebe tells him that the crew is a bit confused with his irrational orders, and some don't trust him. She says that it takes time for a crew to get to know their captain, and vice-versa, but Ross stands firm that he knows what they are capable of. Phoebe also says that it is hard to operate in the dark, without knowledge as to what they are doing, and Ross sympathizes with this. Monica then tells Ross that she has Commander Chandler on subspace. Ross accepts the call, and informs Chandler that they will be delayed a tad bit in picking him up at Farpoint. Chandler asks how long, but Ross is unsure. He then tells Chandler to deliver the message to the rest of the crew, and ends the call. It is at this time that Counselor Phoebe reveals the romance that she had had with Commander Chandler, but Ross states that he is confident in her abilities to deal with the situation.

Suddenly, Ross is in the present, talking with Commander Tomalak. He proposes sending one ship from each side into the Neutral Zone to investigate the anomaly. Tomalak agrees as soon as he hears Starfleet does not approve, and reminds Ross to only send one ship. Ross sets the course to the Devron system, warp 5. They arrive shortly, and sensors pick up a large subspace anomaly. Ross orders a full scan, wanting as much information as possible.

In the past, the Central Perk arrives at the same location, and also picks up the same anomaly. However, it is larger that it just was in the present. He orders another full scan of the anomaly. In the future, Ross orders the anomaly on screen. However, Paul Rudd regretfully reports that there is no anomaly to see.

Act Seven:
Continuous scans in the future report no anomalies within a light year of the Devron system. Joey also reports that several warships have been dispatched to their location to investigate a renegade Federation vessel. Rachel wants to leave, but Ross wants to try a different way to scan for the anomaly. Paul Rudd suggests using an inverse tachyon pulse to scan beyond the subspace barrier. He starts modifications, but Rachel makes it clear that if they don't find anything in six hours, they are heading back to Federation space. Ross tells the ensign not to leave in six hours, but Rachel overrules him. She then asks to see him in her ready room. Ross goes, and Rachel scolds him for questioning her orders. She states that he would never tolerate that behavior on the Central Perk, and she wouldn't here. Ross agrees, but reminds Rachel about the fact that Humanity's fate is at stake. But Rachel says that he might not be saying anything that is the truth. She reveals that he has advanced Irumodic Syndrome, and that it is possible that the entire journey is in his mind. However, she reminds him that if it were anyone else, they wouldn't be here, and then she leaves for the bridge. Ross is about to follow, but Q appears again, this time in the guise of an old man. Ross demands to know where the anomaly is, but Q does not give him the answer. However, Q reminds Ross that he is not alone in this; who he is, who he was and who he will become are always with him. Ross realizes that the answer to the problem lies in his time shifting, and then asks Q if the anomaly destroys Humanity, but Q reminds Ross that it is he that destroys Humanity, not the anomaly.

In the present, Paul Rudd has a preliminary report of the anomaly. It is a massive temporal displacement, emitting the energy equivalent to ten G-type stars. However, they cannot scan the interior of the anomaly, and cannot find the source. Ross then suggests the inverse tachyon pulse that the future Paul Rudd suggested. Paul Rudd is amazed at Ross's knowledge, and agrees to make the modifications. He and his pet monkey work on rerouting power and initiate the tachyon pulse. However, soon afterward, his pet monkey experiences some pain, and trouble with his VISOR. Paul Rudd calls sickbay, and Rachel determines that his pet monkey is growing new eyes. Nurse Ursula Buffay reports that they have reports from two crew members stating that old scars are healing themselves. Paul Rudd then offers a partial explanation. The anomaly is a multiphasic temporal convergence in the space-time continuum, an eruption of anti-time. The relationship between time and anti-time is analogous to the relationship between matter and anti-matter, and upon contact, the two would annihilate each other, causing the rupture in space.

In the past, Ross explains to Paul Rudd that if they scan the anomaly with an inverse tachyon pulse, they will see that the anomaly is a rupture between time and anti-time. He orders Paul Rudd to make the modifications, and is still trying to figure out why the anomaly is bigger in the past. He then goes to his ready room. In the future, the Pasteur is under attack from two Klingon attack cruisers.

Act Eight:
Under attack, the USS Pasteur attempts to escape. Warp power is off-line, so they try to evade the attacks. The impulse drive is fluctuating, and shields are down to 30%. The Pasteur's weapons are no match for the Klingon ships, and his pet monkey can't get warp power. Shields are failing, and Rachel attempts to explain that they are on an errand of mercy. The Klingons don't listen, and Joey signals a surrender. As shields fail, a ship decloaks. It is the USS Central Perk-D (having not crashed in this timeline). Admiral Chandler hails them, and offers to help with the Klingons. He takes out one ship, and draws the fire of the other. The Pasteur's warp core, however, has destabilized, and there is a warp core breach in progress. Chandler beams the Pasteur's crew aboard, and the Pasteur is destroyed. A furious Chandler than scolds Joey for letting the Pasteur enter hostile territory, and putting their friends in jeopardy. Joey retaliates, saying that if Chandler had helped them in the first place, none of this would have happened. Chandler orders them out of range of the Pasteur, and then engages the Central Perk out of Klingon space. The cloak is down, so they engage at warp 13 back to Federation space. Ross is outraged, and demands that they stay, but Rachel administers a sedative to Ross.

In the present, Ross accidentally bumps into a crew member on his way to sickbay. Inside sickbay, several time-reversing phenomena are occurring. his pet monkey's visual acuity is improving by the minute, and Ursula Buffay lost her baby. Ross enters, and Rachel explains that the baby somehow grew backwards, until the DNA itself broke down. However, the temporal energy seems to be affecting the entire crew, causing everyone to "grow backward," and it could kill all of them. In the observation lounge, Ross asks the senior staff to contact the nearest starbase to see how widespread the effect of the temporal reversion is. Paul Rudd is about an hour and 45 minutes away from completing his tachyon scan, and Ross wants to find some way to collapse the anomaly, then dismisses the senior staff. After they leave, Q appears, warning him about tinkering with the anomaly. Q then gives Ross the proper perspective he needs to solve the puzzle.

Q transfers them back to Earth, about 3.5 billion years in the past. He shows Ross the sky, which is full of the anomaly. Ross then realizes that the anomaly is expanding as it moves back in time. Q then shows Ross a pool of green sludge, a pool of amino acids. They are about to combine to form the first proteins, however, the disturbance from the anomaly stops the combination as it happens. Life on Earth doesn't start, and the anomaly stopped the creation of Humanity. Figuring out the puzzle, Ross is transported back to the past Central Perk.

Act Nine:
In the past, Ross wants to know how the anomaly was formed. Paul Rudd says that their information is limited; they would need to be able to scan the center to get an idea of its creation. Ross asks if there is any way, but nothing aboard could do the job. Paul Rudd says that a tomographic imaging scanner with multiphasic resolution could do the scan, however the device is still in the experimental phases at the Daystrom Institute.

In the present, Paul Rudd uses the scanner that the past Paul Rudd told Ross about. Paul Rudd scans the anomaly, but gets very unusual readings. He has found three tachyon pulses with the same amplitude modulation converging at the center of the anomaly. It is as if all three pulses came from the Central Perk. Ross then deduces that three pulses from three time periods, converging at one point in space may have caused the anomaly.

In the future, Ross wakes up from a nap, and heads to Ten Forward to talk to Admiral Chandler about this new information. In Ten Forward, his pet monkey compliments on how well Central Perk has held up over the years. Chandler says that they tried to decommission her five years ago, but the advantage of being an admiral was that he got to pick his own ship. Rachel then asks Chandler how long the tension between him and Joey would continue. Chandler thinks that after twenty years, it would be too hard to stop, but Paul Rudd says that the last thing Phoebe would have wanted is for her best friends to be alienated. Chandler says that he tried to put it behind them at Phoebe's funeral and make peace, but Joey refused to even talk to him. As they talk about this, Ross enters Ten Forward, to the surprise of everyone there. Ross tells Chandler that he knows why the anomaly is being caused. He tries to explain the creation like the problem of the chicken and the egg. Paul Rudd deduces that Ross is describing a paradox. Paul Rudd finds that it is possible they caused the anomaly they have been looking for, and that if they hurry, they may be able to see the initial formation of the anomaly. Chandler agrees to head back, and tells the bridge to go back to the Devron system at maximum warp. As Chandler leaves, he cautiously asks Joey for a helping hand on the bridge, to which Joey agrees.

Act Ten:
The Central Perk enters the Devron system, and does indeed pick up a small temporal anomaly off their port bow, an anti-time eruption. Ross was right, and proposes to stop it before it can travel back through time. Chandler asks Paul Rudd for any ideas. Paul Rudd suggests that the tachyon pulses should be shut down in the other time periods. Ross shuts down the pulse in both the present and the past, but the anomaly remains unaffected. The only way to stop the eruption is to seal the rupture at the convergence point, by using a static warp shell. In the past, Ross orders the Central Perk into the anomaly, and Monica refuses to put the ship in jeopardy. She asks for an explanation, but Ross can not give an explanation. He tells them what they have to do, take the ship to the center of the anomaly, and create a static warp shell. He tells them that they may not survive, but that this has to be done, because what is at stake is far more than any of them could imagine. He tells them about the faith he has in them, and asks for their trust in return. They agree, and make preparations to go in. In the present, Paul Rudd makes the same suggestion, and Ross orders the Central Perk in. In the future, the same is done, as the Central Perk heads towards the anomaly. Temporal energy interferes with main power once they enter, but they attempt to stabilize it. At the center, all three ships initiate the warp shell, and a new subspace barrier forms. All three time periods overlap, and there are now three Central Perks visible. The warp shell is working, but the temporal energy ruptures the past Central Perk's warp containment system, causing an anti-matter eruption, destroying the ship. On the present ship, the containment system also goes, and the present Central Perk is destroyed. On the future Central Perk, his pet monkey reports that the anomaly is nearly gone but then the containment system is lost, and the ship is destroyed, along with the anomaly.

Ross is now in the courtroom with Q. The anomaly was indeed collapsed, and Humanity was saved, once again, and everyone is safe. Ross then proceeds to thank Q for helping him get out of it. Q admits that he got Ross into it (under orders from the Continuum), but that the helping hand was his idea. Ross hopes that he never finds himself in the courtroom again, causing Q to ask if Ross has been paying attention... the trial never ends. The Continuum wanted to see if Humanity could expand their mind and horizons and for one moment Ross did, when he realized the paradox. Q tells Ross that during that one moment, his mind was open to possibilities that he had never considered before. That is the exploration that awaits Humanity, exploring the unknown possibilities of existence. Ross asks Q if there's something he's trying to tell him, and it appears for an instant that Q is going to tell Ross something meaningful, but at the last second pulls back simply stating that he'll find out... and that he'll be watching, and may even drop in from time to time.

Back on the Central Perk, Ross is at the beginning of his journey, leaving a turbolift towards counselor Phoebe's quarters. He asks the date, very much the same way he did at the beginning, and upon hearing stardate 47988, Ross laughs to himself. He goes back to bed, saying that he could use some sleep, leaving both Phoebe and Joey dumbfounded. As he records his log, he states that he is the only one who remembers the events of the entire journey, and that there is no anomaly in the Devron system.

Tag:
In Chandler's quarters, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, Paul Rudd, and his pet monkey are playing their weekly game of poker. At the end of a round (and the usual friendly banter), Rachel begins to wonder why Ross shared the information about the future he encountered with them. his pet monkey says that it goes against the rules they've heard about not polluting the timeline, but Paul Rudd believes that the case is different. Since the anomaly never occurred, the future they encounter will be radically different from the one Ross experienced. Chandler thinks that Ross told them so that they would not make some mistakes twice, as he looks towards Joey meaningfully. Joey agrees, and they silently affirm their friendship. At this point, Phoebe enters, and joins the game. A few moments later the door chimes again and to everyone's surprise, Ross is at the door. Chandler calmly asks if there is a problem. Ross says that there is no problem, but wants to join them for the game. A pleasantly surprised crew make room for him and Paul Rudd gives Ross the cards to deal. As Ross starts to shuffle, he takes a moment's pause to regard his crew and friends and notes that he should have done this a long time ago. Phoebe tells him he was always welcome, and Ross starts to deal.

"Five-card stud, nothing wild... and the sky's the limit."
As he gives those fitting final words, the Central Perk is seen from the outside, heading off to continue exploring the unknown possibilities that await them in the final frontier.

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity

Christmas Present posted:

The stuff great fanfic is made of

:eyepop:

Moola
Aug 16, 2006
turns out they all died on the plane crash to london

theyve been stuck in purgatory since then

last 10 minutes is just Phoebe crying at their graves

Moola
Aug 16, 2006
while playing smelly cat on her guitar

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014


they all go to jail for laughing at a robbery

TOILETLORD
Nov 13, 2012

by XyloJW
all i remember about friends is them eating nair, and ichiba lip stick for men.

ProfessorMurder
Aug 27, 2003

I can wet the bed in the shape of Abraham Lincoln
The flight to Paris that Rachel got off of crashes into the ocean, leaving no survivors. Turns out there was something wrong with the left phalange.

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug
Friends is poo poo, and complete justification for why intelligent alien life never contact us.

Harime Nui
Apr 15, 2008

The New Insincerity
Friends was good and made me laugh, lighten up dorks

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon
I remember Joey got himself a new chick and duck.

Doflamingo
Sep 20, 2006

Harime Nui posted:

Friends was good and made me laugh, lighten up dorks

it was good until chandler and monica started being a thing, then chandler got really fat and orange and it all went downhill from there

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


friends was bad and that was evident when i was 12 years old.

SpazmasterX
Jul 13, 2006

Wrong about everything XIV related
~fartz~
She didn't get on the plane

Cubone
May 26, 2011

Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.
it was OK. pretty good swerve at the end- it turns out the kidnapped girl wasn't even actually kidnapped, and it was all a plot to lure a christian man out so he could be sacrificed. phoboe and joey put on these weird animal masks and they all sing a pagan harvest song as chandler burns alive reciting psalm 23

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



Ross skeeted like 10 ropes of jewjizz on Rachel's titties while Chandler watched and jerked off in the corner.

Rambling Robot
Sep 13, 2011
Duggar Fan Club Superstar #1 LOL

babypolis posted:

this episode is a classic. the part where joey starts eating himself and says "mamma mia im delicious!" is one of my favorite scenes

and then rachel says "can i pretty please with sugar on top have a bite? and don't tell ross?"

everyone laughs. best ending ever.

JUST WAYNES BALLS
Jul 24, 2014
In the final episode's DVD commentary Ross reveals that he had a sexual relationship with that monkey.

Alucard
Mar 11, 2002
Pillbug
Geordi finally gets laid.

les fleurs du mall
Jun 30, 2014

by LadyAmbien
Ross comes out as gay, Rachel comes out as also gay, the entire cast is gay and then it ends.


Good finale imo

ziasquinn
Jan 1, 2006

Fallen Rib
So weird that post credits scene with ross as a lumberjack

ziasquinn
Jan 1, 2006

Fallen Rib
And then he was credited as Nicolas cage?!?!

les fleurs du mall
Jun 30, 2014

by LadyAmbien

Your Dead Gay Son posted:

And then he was credited as Nicolas cage?!?!

If you think about it long enough it starts to make sense though

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Kaincypher posted:

The entire last season was a dream sequence. Ross is in a coma and slowly slipping into blackness, the last season is all he his comatose nightmare as he slips into the beyond. Truly, the endless abyss is where your love life is DOA

it just wasn't his day, month or even his year

CISMALES DID 9-11
Jun 5, 2002

chaotic good STEM major; INTJ
they werent friends at all they were all related to each other so it gets kinda weird and then monica and chandler go to jail for incest

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ziasquinn
Jan 1, 2006

Fallen Rib
I really didn't like chandler.

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