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Fojar38 posted:i thought that putting ice on a burn is one of the worst things you can do its one of the first things oyu do, you misheard that
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Aug 10, 2014 02:46
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they put my hand in ice when i went to the hospital and they're literally doctors
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Aug 10, 2014 02:46
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My dad bought "The Cornballer" from HSN. Delicious cornballs but man, watch out.
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Aug 10, 2014 02:46
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Business Gorillas posted:they put my hand in ice when i went to the hospital and they're literally doctors lol i had a doctor try to remove my appendix for no reason at all
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Aug 10, 2014 02:49
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One time a hose full of scalding water leaped out of my hand it burned my leg. That was pretty sick.
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Aug 10, 2014 02:54
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I got really drunk one year for St Patty's day in Savannah and I lost my wallet and phone. I had my thumb out trying to gert a ride back to my hotel room and these dudes rode by and yelled "get a job fag" which really was pretty funny.
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Aug 10, 2014 03:10
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JoelJoel posted:Wow, good one. I don't think anyone would have been smart enough to play the homonym game if you hadn't shown up. Maybe it is you, who is the homonym.
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Aug 10, 2014 03:15
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you received those? as nice as they are i would not accept second hand burns
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Aug 10, 2014 03:15
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One time another goon told me to kill myself. It hurt my feelings. Gas op, burn thread.
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Aug 10, 2014 03:16
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I "fell asleep" on a raft at the pool.
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Aug 10, 2014 03:16
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Business Gorillas posted:3 months worth of vicodin
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Aug 10, 2014 03:22
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Business Gorillas posted:they put my hand in ice when i went to the hospital and they're literally doctors they were probably also hosed up on vicodin
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Aug 10, 2014 03:58
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Aug 10, 2014 04:01
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"what's your name again?" -Girl I thought was my girlfriend
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Aug 10, 2014 04:04
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From working at a fried chicken joint: do not reach into the fryer. do not reach into the fryer. do not reach into the fryer. hot grease looks like cold grease.
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Aug 10, 2014 04:11
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Hostage Pokemon posted:I got really drunk one year for St Patty's day in Savannah and I lost my wallet and phone. I had my thumb out trying to gert a ride back to my hotel room and these dudes rode by and yelled "get a job fag" which really was pretty funny. * St. Paddy's. One time a dude driving past in a car was all "yeo I bet your nose could tickle my balls if you sucked me" That was a p bad burn since his dick was probs nowhere near big enough for that, my nose is impressive.
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Aug 10, 2014 04:15
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I was walking to a thai food place. A guy leaned out of a car and screamed like a pirate while wielding a plastic sword. It was scary. I felt some burning.
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Aug 10, 2014 04:17
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4 The Cause posted:Someone asked me why I had my head down in class. I said I was tired, and this girl said "why, you don't get any pussy". im still laughing at this
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Aug 10, 2014 04:20
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I went to the Fair last fall and was so excited to eat so I got an egg roll but it burned my mouth real bad but I didn't let that stop me so I got some fried dough and that burned my mouth too so I paid 10$ for unlimited soda in this big mug and after I bought it I thought "that's dumb I don't even like soda" but now I felt compelled to drink a lot of soda which I did and caused me to get a huge stomach ache and I was like "I want to leave the Fair!".
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Aug 10, 2014 04:21
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I once took in a Saint Bernard that was really ill this only works if you know I refer to Saint Bernards as "burns" it's a wordplay thing
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Aug 10, 2014 04:42
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[img]http://www.depilexsmileagain.com/images/images_gallery/966336342506110.jpg[img] (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Aug 10, 2014 05:22
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goddamn
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Aug 10, 2014 05:23
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please do not post such a thing
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Aug 10, 2014 05:23
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THS posted:please do not post such a thing sorry ths
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Aug 10, 2014 05:25
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youre not really sorry skeleton king
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Aug 10, 2014 05:26
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Skeleton King posted:sorry ths unless that's you, which I doubt
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Aug 10, 2014 05:26
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Thks skeleton king for ruining everything.
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Aug 10, 2014 05:34
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THS posted:youre not really sorry skeleton king i literally have no heart
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Aug 10, 2014 05:35
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psyopmonkey posted:I was walking to a thai food place. was the burning in your loins?
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Aug 10, 2014 05:35
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i was working in the lab with a bunson burner and basically the same joke as the muslim effigy guy
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Aug 10, 2014 05:36
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Guancho posted:was the burning in your loins? just ignore it so it goes away thanks nigga
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Aug 10, 2014 05:37
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Skeleton King posted:i literally have no heart ah so you are Dick Cheney
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Aug 10, 2014 05:38
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Guancho posted:was the burning in your loins? No loins ever burn around me. They are only slowly braised or broiled.  Also, im unattractive.
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Aug 10, 2014 05:54
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After scaring away the japanese family who had, on a deserted private beach in phi phi island, thailand, decided to sit next to my towel, book and drink, by having worn a couple of bits of string and some cloth, basically a cock-hammock, I passed out and me legs got 3rd degree burns. as it was my honeymoon I gritted my teeth until I got back to Japan.
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Aug 10, 2014 13:42
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I had sex with a hobo girl once and the dick rot I contracted caused a pretty sick burn every time I went for a piss afterwards.
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Aug 10, 2014 13:48
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Theophany posted:I had sex with a hobo girl once and the dick rot I contracted caused a pretty sick burn every time I went for a piss afterwards. but i'm glad you did, daddy
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Aug 10, 2014 13:57
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One time I was at a party in Scotland and this girl kept making eye contact from across the room so I went over and said "Hello" and she replied with "eee baws, yer fukkin english... Well thers like nae chance ahm gonnae gently caress yous now so ye can just fukkin sit back down pal"
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Aug 10, 2014 14:01
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RobattoJesus posted:One time I was at a party in Scotland and this girl kept making eye contact from across the room so I went over and said "Hello" and she replied with "eee baws, yer fukkin english... Well thers like nae chance ahm gonnae gently caress yous now so ye can just fukkin sit back down pal" I really hope this happened. It's wonderful.
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Aug 10, 2014 14:16
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outlast irl
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Aug 10, 2014 14:23
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RobattoJesus posted:One time I was at a party in Scotland and this girl kept making eye contact from across the room so I went over and said "Hello" and she replied with "eee baws, yer fukkin english... Well thers like nae chance ahm gonnae gently caress yous now so ye can just fukkin sit back down pal" I want to believe
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Aug 10, 2014 14:24
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