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putin is a cunt
Apr 5, 2007

BOY DO I SURE ENJOY TRASH. THERE'S NOTHING MORE I LOVE THAN TO SIT DOWN IN FRONT OF THE BIG SCREEN AND EAT A BIIIIG STEAMY BOWL OF SHIT. WARNER BROS CAN COME OVER TO MY HOUSE AND ASSFUCK MY MOM WHILE I WATCH AND I WOULD CERTIFY IT FRESH, NO QUESTION
apparently theres a thing where a dude drinks a lot and cant get a boner. i have never had this happen, i have never had trouble getting an erection but if im drunk i cant cum and i end up blue balled and feel bad because i worry the other person thinks they were no good.

how can you not get an erection. how can you not get a hard dicK/?

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root of all eval
Dec 28, 2002

There are situations in which sex can be had either now or later. SOmetimes sex is later after whiskey.

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice
what about if ur getting blown instead? still nothing?

how about with a finger in the fanny?

Tuxedo Gin
May 21, 2003

Classy.

the only time my dick isn't fully erect is the 15 minutes after i cum, before i'm turgid and ready to go again.

putin is a cunt
Apr 5, 2007

BOY DO I SURE ENJOY TRASH. THERE'S NOTHING MORE I LOVE THAN TO SIT DOWN IN FRONT OF THE BIG SCREEN AND EAT A BIIIIG STEAMY BOWL OF SHIT. WARNER BROS CAN COME OVER TO MY HOUSE AND ASSFUCK MY MOM WHILE I WATCH AND I WOULD CERTIFY IT FRESH, NO QUESTION

Mariana Horchata posted:

what about if ur getting blown instead? still nothing?

how about with a finger in the fanny?

i really should have said i find it difficult to cum, i can still cum sometimes when im drunk

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry
yea erections while drunk arent hard unless you're on the verge of blacking out, but cumming is really hard :( at least you'll get blue balls and say "gently caress it" and roll over and pass out a minute later

Fuck da Mods
Jun 27, 2013

fina get poz'd? :cabot: :gizz: :baby:
best of luck in ur fantasy world human being

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice
yeah in essence its just going to take some more effort for all parties involved with the act and maybe a few tricks as well but it is not something that is going to be impossible.

good luck!

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
were puttin the boner in gbs tonight

putin is a cunt
Apr 5, 2007

BOY DO I SURE ENJOY TRASH. THERE'S NOTHING MORE I LOVE THAN TO SIT DOWN IN FRONT OF THE BIG SCREEN AND EAT A BIIIIG STEAMY BOWL OF SHIT. WARNER BROS CAN COME OVER TO MY HOUSE AND ASSFUCK MY MOM WHILE I WATCH AND I WOULD CERTIFY IT FRESH, NO QUESTION
thanks guys i've got some real good info here. some stuff to think about

gently caress da Mods posted:

best of luck in ur fantasy world human being

thanky ou

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005
post boner tips for long-lasting boners bonertalk

one time i lasted 2 hours because i had to pee so bad i couldnt cum

by i i mean my boner

DONKEY SALAMI
Jun 28, 2008

donkey? donkey?

Blame it on your partner (s)

Crush their self esteem so they can br yiur lazy go to gently caress when needed

Duke Pukem
Oct 23, 2010

Three cheers for dark beer!


The Wizard of Poz posted:

apparently theres a thing where a dude drinks a lot and cant get a boner. i have never had this happen, i have never had trouble getting an erection but if im drunk i cant cum and i end up blue balled and feel bad because i worry the other person thinks they were no good.

how can you not get an erection. how can you not get a hard dicK/?

You just might be gay

ZombieParts
Jul 18, 2009

ASK ME ABOUT VISITING PROSTITUTES IN CHINA AND FEELING NO SHAME. MY FRIEND IS SERIOUSLY THE (PATHETIC) YODA OF PAYING WOMEN TO TOUCH HIS (AND MY) DICK. THEY WOULDN'T DO IT OTHERWISE.
I was pass out drunk one time and a girl was trying to go home with me. I could tell I wasn't going to be able to do anything but sleep so she went to the bathroom and i totally bailed on her. I woke up to a series of texts that went from "Where'd you go, cutie" to "really? you left without saying a word????" and half dozen missed calls. Her Facebook status the next day changed to "I almost made a big mistake last night" lol

putin is a cunt
Apr 5, 2007

BOY DO I SURE ENJOY TRASH. THERE'S NOTHING MORE I LOVE THAN TO SIT DOWN IN FRONT OF THE BIG SCREEN AND EAT A BIIIIG STEAMY BOWL OF SHIT. WARNER BROS CAN COME OVER TO MY HOUSE AND ASSFUCK MY MOM WHILE I WATCH AND I WOULD CERTIFY IT FRESH, NO QUESTION

Bruce Kison posted:

You just might be gay

it happens with both genders

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot
try her butt

Fuck da Mods
Jun 27, 2013

fina get poz'd? :cabot: :gizz: :baby:

ZombieParts posted:

I was pass out drunk one time and a girl was trying to go home with me. I could tell I wasn't going to be able to do anything but sleep so she went to the bathroom and i totally bailed on her. I woke up to a series of texts that went from "Where'd you go, cutie" to "really? you left without saying a word????" and half dozen missed calls. Her Facebook status the next day changed to "I almost made a big mistake last night" lol

lol

Prettz
Sep 3, 2002

fuckin lol @ this, even when i've been literally black-out drunk, posting poo poo threads in GBS, I can still get it up if something is a turn-on. OP's dick doesn't work.

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice
ejaculation should be a basic human right, and i dont think u should be an exception just because u are afflicted with the dick debilitating disease of drunkenness.

:gizz: :patriot: :fh: :11tea:

putin is a cunt
Apr 5, 2007

BOY DO I SURE ENJOY TRASH. THERE'S NOTHING MORE I LOVE THAN TO SIT DOWN IN FRONT OF THE BIG SCREEN AND EAT A BIIIIG STEAMY BOWL OF SHIT. WARNER BROS CAN COME OVER TO MY HOUSE AND ASSFUCK MY MOM WHILE I WATCH AND I WOULD CERTIFY IT FRESH, NO QUESTION
i was out with a friend once and some fat girl walked past all dressed up and it was a narrow corridor and as we passed she smiled at my friend and he just gave a quick polite smile back and shes like "dont you even bother!" lol. thats the time my friend got owned by a fatty.

putin is a cunt
Apr 5, 2007

BOY DO I SURE ENJOY TRASH. THERE'S NOTHING MORE I LOVE THAN TO SIT DOWN IN FRONT OF THE BIG SCREEN AND EAT A BIIIIG STEAMY BOWL OF SHIT. WARNER BROS CAN COME OVER TO MY HOUSE AND ASSFUCK MY MOM WHILE I WATCH AND I WOULD CERTIFY IT FRESH, NO QUESTION

Prettz posted:

fuckin lol @ this, even when i've been literally black-out drunk, posting poo poo threads in GBS, I can still get it up if something is a turn-on. OP's dick doesn't work.

i think u didnt read my post ,friend. i wouldnt read it either tho so its ok

Prettz
Sep 3, 2002

The Wizard of Poz posted:

thats the time my friend got owned by a fatty.
no one has ever really been owned by a fatty

putin is a cunt
Apr 5, 2007

BOY DO I SURE ENJOY TRASH. THERE'S NOTHING MORE I LOVE THAN TO SIT DOWN IN FRONT OF THE BIG SCREEN AND EAT A BIIIIG STEAMY BOWL OF SHIT. WARNER BROS CAN COME OVER TO MY HOUSE AND ASSFUCK MY MOM WHILE I WATCH AND I WOULD CERTIFY IT FRESH, NO QUESTION
i like to think she still tells the story of how she totally turned down some guy who was desperate for her gross body

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


I enjoy masturbating with whiskey dick, I can look at porn all night OP.

RavenKrows
May 29, 2008

The Wizard of Poz posted:

i was out with a friend once and some fat girl walked past all dressed up and it was a narrow corridor and as we passed she smiled at my friend and he just gave a quick polite smile back and shes like "dont you even bother!" lol. thats the time my friend got owned by a fatty.

Should have called her fat to ruin her night.

putin is a cunt
Apr 5, 2007

BOY DO I SURE ENJOY TRASH. THERE'S NOTHING MORE I LOVE THAN TO SIT DOWN IN FRONT OF THE BIG SCREEN AND EAT A BIIIIG STEAMY BOWL OF SHIT. WARNER BROS CAN COME OVER TO MY HOUSE AND ASSFUCK MY MOM WHILE I WATCH AND I WOULD CERTIFY IT FRESH, NO QUESTION

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

I enjoy masturbating with whiskey dick, I can look at porn all night OP.

just so im clear on this, you wank with a flaccid cock ?

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

College Slice

The Wizard of Poz posted:

i was out with a friend once and some fat girl walked past all dressed up and it was a narrow corridor and as we passed she smiled at my friend and he just gave a quick polite smile back and shes like "dont you even bother!" lol. thats the time my friend got owned by a fatty.

i bet she was already on her way to a hot date

with a chocolate cake.

super mario batali
Aug 1, 2013

Dice-a the Mushroom
Grimey Drawer
punch yourself in the cock

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


The Wizard of Poz posted:

just so im clear on this, you wank with a flaccid cock ?

I'm sorry, I didn't actually read your post.

nunsexmonkrock
Apr 13, 2008
Cocaine. Lot's of it.

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations

The Wizard of Poz posted:

i worry the other person thinks they were no good.
If they cared about doing well they'd be somewhere else

Prettz
Sep 3, 2002

nunsexmonkrock posted:

Cocaine. Lot's of it.
as I understand it, in order to get cocaine you have to know some kind of serious player in all of that poo poo. otherwise you get a powder that might contain cocaine, or might not, but will definitely contain lots of cheap, lovely stimulants and a lot of baking soda. like, in other words, real cocaine is dead.

nunsexmonkrock
Apr 13, 2008

Prettz posted:

as I understand it, in order to get cocaine you have to know some kind of serious player in all of that poo poo. otherwise you get a powder that might contain cocaine, or might not, but will definitely contain lots of cheap, lovely stimulants and a lot of baking soda. like, in other words, real cocaine is dead.

Go to a gay bar suck a few dicks and you're on your way to some good stuff, or a really good gay bashing, either way, problem solved.

Prettz
Sep 3, 2002

nunsexmonkrock posted:

Go to a gay bar suck a few dicks and you're on your way to some good stuff, or a really good gay bashing, either way, problem solved.
I think there might be some risks that you're covering over...

nunsexmonkrock
Apr 13, 2008
Someone will be covered over... :gizz:

putin is a cunt
Apr 5, 2007

BOY DO I SURE ENJOY TRASH. THERE'S NOTHING MORE I LOVE THAN TO SIT DOWN IN FRONT OF THE BIG SCREEN AND EAT A BIIIIG STEAMY BOWL OF SHIT. WARNER BROS CAN COME OVER TO MY HOUSE AND ASSFUCK MY MOM WHILE I WATCH AND I WOULD CERTIFY IT FRESH, NO QUESTION

whoflungpoop posted:

If they cared about doing well they'd be somewhere else

well then I guess they owned themselves then, by having sex with me: a actual turd

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva

Prettz posted:

as I understand it, in order to get cocaine you have to know some kind of serious player in all of that poo poo. otherwise you get a powder that might contain cocaine, or might not, but will definitely contain lots of cheap, lovely stimulants and a lot of baking soda. like, in other words, real cocaine is dead.

Use the secrets of alchemy to purify it, problem solved.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdaM5Mv-TTo

monkey
Jan 20, 2004

by zen death robot
Yams Fan

The Wizard of Poz posted:

apparently theres a thing where a dude drinks a lot and cant get a boner. i have never had this happen, i have never had trouble getting an erection but if im drunk i cant cum and i end up blue balled and feel bad because i worry the other person thinks they were no good.

how can you not get an erection. how can you not get a hard dicK/?

You just need to drink more.

I don't remember this ever happening to me, but I know for sure that it has happened a few times while I was so drunk that I don't remember it.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
has happened to me

girl really wanted to gently caress and at some point I folded my dick in half and tried to stick it in (i was drunk remember) and when that didn't work I said 'well raincheck I guess' but that was that one shot with that girl so oh well

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Deadbeat Poetry
Mar 6, 2004

Sorry if my costume scared you
You have two big toes and two holes in your body (mouth and rear end in a top hat) figure it out op

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