s/o to all of the starving children in africa

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > s/o to all of the starving children in africa

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

I�m taking a world history class at CC this semester and recently we�ve learned about africa and the conditions that these people have to live under. they literally live in houses made of poop and entire families have to live off of a couple bags of rice every month. they sell their girls to be married when they�re only children. I just really don�t understand how a country can be this behind when in America we are so far ahead.

I have 2 theories for this:

1. it�s not true. i�ve never been outside of america or even the east coast before, and from what i can tell, not many americans have. even if they have been outside of america, they�ve only gone to canada or mexico or europe. interestingly enough, i have never met someone who has gone to africa. EVER. i think that�s kind of suspicious because i have met quite a few people. so what if they�re making it all up so we feel bad for them and give them money and food, meanwhile they�re all laughing at us? what if africa actually does have cities and cars and technology? i just don�t understand how an entire country can live by walking to the water well and then back home and that�s all they do in a day. sounds really fishy to me.

2. it is true and there is a REASON that it�s true: black people and other people are biologically different. I mean, just think. Africa was the first country humans ever lived in, right? but america has only existed since the 18th century. so how on EARTH does america have technology, cars, food, water, etc in just a few hundred years, meanwhile AFRICA has been around for thousands of years and they still have to ward off lions before they go to sleep? not to mention ebola. you would THINK that they would have at least figured out how to make buildings out of bricks instead of poop. maybe they�re all apekin? i just don�t know why else their problems, if they�re even real, would be problems at all in this day & age. and i have met some black people before, and i can say for a fact that they definitely smell different to me. that could just be my hypersensitive squirrelkin sense of smell, i�m not sure. all i know is, deep inside, i feel like there�s some sort of difference there.

so i want to give a s/o to all the children in africa who are starving because it�s really not their fault. i want to raise awareness of the fact that something is wrong with africa and we need to find out what it is, and what we can do about it. i�m thinking of switching to africa studies because i feel like there are probably a lot of untapped resources in africa that we in america can use for the betterment of both ourselves and africa itself. if there are any world rulers reading this, please, hear me. this has to change. please.

Un-l337-Pork posted:

China and the US (and Europe where possible) are strip mining Africa before the Africans realize how much wealth they have. Africa's problem is that it lacks both the capital and the knowledge to extract these resources efficiently and at scale. The US and China come in and build roads and wells and stuff -- not effective education systems. Nobody wants an educated Africa at this point, and without education, you're hosed.

Also, lack of clean water. That's very true.

Nathilus posted:

Africa has been a pretty swell place to live over most of the centuries. Evolution, whether physical or technological, only occurs when changes one's environment forces it to. If you live in a joint where there's enough food and decent enough weather, family lines can last thousands of years living in grass huts or whatever the gently caress.

So you had a bunch of people in africa over the long years of human existence. Some of them changed dramatically. At some point, for instance, people got forced out of the plains and forests that are now the sahara and moved to the nile valley, where they had to change quite a bit to survive and thus became one of the earliest civilizations on the planet. Meanwhile the people living in sub-saharan africa kept doing what the ones who became egyptians had been doing all along, because there was no reason to change. While these people were doing their generations of "jungle savage" thing, however, humanity was spreading into all different kinds of climates and changing as they did. Eventually a lot of them started warring on one another at a scale unheard of in pre-"civilized" cultures, which added a wicked exponent or two onto the change.

Fast forward to one of the eras of imperialism. Some societies at this point had developed much more complex varieties of warfare than others. The Romans for example had numbers, techniques, and organization that allowed for a totally different kind of conflict compared to indigenous peoples who had been doing the tribal raid type warfare since forever. Of course the more complex civilization almost always wins. So all the bounty of the areas where less complex civilization lived got shipped to the conquerors, artificially holding the lesser civilizations back.

And so we come to the era of colonialism. At the beginning of this time period there were several wealthy, somewhat advanced civilizations in africa that had avoided being raped for all their stuff and good people. There had even been a local trade empire or two. But the europeans came with gunpowder and early mechanized warfare and toppled these relatively advanced local powers. Since then the name of the game has been the same. Hehe. Africa doesn't have poo poo cuz we took everything worth taking.

Cole fucked around with this message at 17:02 on Feb 8, 2015

# ? Feb 8, 2015 16:32

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 16:31

Fat-Lip-Sum-41.mp3: Nov 15, 2003

"its hot and there isn't enough water"

# ? Feb 8, 2015 16:34

gnarlyhotep: Sep 30, 2008; by Lowtax; Oven Wrangler

greedy rich people are always the problem, hth

# ? Feb 8, 2015 16:36

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

africa is a p big continent op. too bad about all the strife

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdaM5Mv-TTo

# ? Feb 8, 2015 16:36

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

gnarlyhotep posted:

greedy rich people are always the problem, hth

um there are no greedy rich people in africa so ur viewpoint is flawed

# ? Feb 8, 2015 16:37

Tevryr: Dec 5, 2009

LegoPirateNinja posted:

"its hot and there isn't enough water"

Nah, OP's second theory is much less convoluted to follow.

# ? Feb 8, 2015 16:38

Prince Reggie K: Feb 12, 2007; I've been denied all the best Ultra-Sex.

This isn't like, factually accurate, but here is one attempt to explain it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojU31yHDqiM

# ? Feb 8, 2015 16:38

Sheng-Ji Yang: Mar 5, 2014

you should definitely transfer to african studies and share your theories about african biological inferiority with the class cole

# ? Feb 8, 2015 16:39

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

they actually had flying cars and stuff until white imperialism hosed them up. look it up

# ? Feb 8, 2015 16:41

gnarlyhotep: Sep 30, 2008; by Lowtax; Oven Wrangler

Cole posted:

um there are no greedy rich people in africa so ur viewpoint is flawed

ur viewpoint isn't global, there fore it is wrong

# ? Feb 8, 2015 16:41

snuggle baby luvs hugs: Aug 30, 2005

Phlegmish posted:

they actually had flying cars and stuff until white imperialism hosed them up. look it up

so then they're like a real life final fantasy game

# ? Feb 8, 2015 16:47

Bro Nerd Alpha: Aug 27, 2012; going on pussy patrol

I spent a week in Djbouti. It wasn't poop huts and Lions but more a throwaway Call of Duty level. I'll never forget seeing a shelter made from tarps and corrugated steel built under a big Coca Cola billboard showing smiling African kids. There were plastic bags EVERYWHERE. Like they were the goddamned national flower. Stuck in trees,fences, blowing like tumbleweeds. This is where I also witnessed dockworkers run down to the waters edge and poo poo in the water. Then remove their shirts and wipe their rear end, wade into the same lovely water and rinse off.

# ? Feb 8, 2015 16:49

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

best not to think about africa

# ? Feb 8, 2015 16:51

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

gary oldmans diary posted:

best not to think about africa

ignorance is bliss

it is true

# ? Feb 8, 2015 16:53

Un-l337-Pork: Sep 9, 2001; Oooh yeah...

China and the US (and Europe where possible) are strip mining Africa before the Africans realize how much wealth they have. Africa's problem is that it lacks both the capital and the knowledge to extract these resources efficiently and at scale. The US and China come in and build roads and wells and stuff -- not effective education systems. Nobody wants an educated Africa at this point, and without education, you're hosed.

Also, lack of clean water. That's very true.

Africa is so hosed up that it'd be hilarious if not for the death, famine, child rape, and AIDS.

Un-l337-Pork fucked around with this message at 16:56 on Feb 8, 2015

# ? Feb 8, 2015 16:54

BigBoss: Jan 26, 2012; by Lowtax

Bro Nerd Alpha posted:

I spent a week in Djbouti. It wasn't poop huts and Lions but more a throwaway Call of Duty level. I'll never forget seeing a shelter made from tarps and corrugated steel built under a big Coca Cola billboard showing smiling African kids. There were plastic bags EVERYWHERE. Like they were the goddamned national flower. Stuck in trees,fences, blowing like tumbleweeds. This is where I also witnessed dockworkers run down to the waters edge and poo poo in the water. Then remove their shirts and wipe their rear end, wade into the same lovely water and rinse off.

I always thought DJ Bouti would be a good name for a DJ

# ? Feb 8, 2015 16:55

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

Un-l337-Pork posted:

China and the US (and Europe where possible) are strip mining Africa before the Africans realize how much wealth they have. Africa's problem is that it lacks both the capital and the knowledge to extract these resources efficiently and at scale. The US and China come in and build roads and wells and stuff -- not effective education systems. Nobody wants an educated Africa at this point, and without education, you're hosed.

Also, lack of clean water. That's very true.

added to the OP THANKS

# ? Feb 8, 2015 16:56

Un-l337-Pork: Sep 9, 2001; Oooh yeah...

Cole posted:

added to the OP THANKS

Thank you, I am happy to shed light on this matter.

# ? Feb 8, 2015 16:57

Nathilus: Apr 4, 2002; I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

Africa has been a pretty swell place to live over most of the centuries. Evolution, whether physical or technological, only occurs when changes one's environment forces it to. If you live in a joint where there's enough food and decent enough weather, family lines can last thousands of years living in grass huts or whatever the gently caress.

So you had a bunch of people in africa over the long years of human existence. Some of them changed dramatically. At some point, for instance, people got forced out of the plains and forests that are now the sahara and moved to the nile valley, where they had to change quite a bit to survive and thus became one of the earliest civilizations on the planet. Meanwhile the people living in sub-saharan africa kept doing what the ones who became egyptians had been doing all along, because there was no reason to change. While these people were doing their generations of "jungle savage" thing, however, humanity was spreading into all different kinds of climates and changing as they did. Eventually a lot of them started warring on one another at a scale unheard of in pre-"civilized" cultures, which added a wicked exponent or two onto the change.

Fast forward to one of the eras of imperialism. Some societies at this point had developed much more complex varieties of warfare than others. The Romans for example had numbers, techniques, and organization that allowed for a totally different kind of conflict compared to indigenous peoples who had been doing the tribal raid type warfare since forever. Of course the more complex civilization almost always wins. So all the bounty of the areas where less complex civilization lived got shipped to the conquerors, artificially holding the lesser civilizations back.

And so we come to the era of colonialism. At the beginning of this time period there were several wealthy, somewhat advanced civilizations in africa that had avoided being raped for all their stuff and good people. There had even been a local trade empire or two. But the europeans came with gunpowder and early mechanized warfare and toppled these relatively advanced local powers. Since then the name of the game has been the same. Hehe. Africa doesn't have poo poo cuz we took everything worth taking.

# ? Feb 8, 2015 17:00

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

Nathilus posted:

Africa has been a pretty swell place to live over most of the centuries. Evolution, whether physical or technological, only occurs when changes one's environment forces it to. If you live in a joint where there's enough food and decent enough weather, family lines can last thousands of years living in grass huts or whatever the gently caress.

So you had a bunch of people in africa over the long years of human existence. Some of them changed dramatically. At some point, for instance, people got forced out of the plains and forests that are now the sahara and moved to the nile valley, where they had to change quite a bit to survive and thus became one of the earliest civilizations on the planet. Meanwhile the people living in sub-saharan africa kept doing what the ones who became egyptians had been doing all along, because there was no reason to change. While these people were doing their generations of "jungle savage" thing, however, humanity was spreading into all different kinds of climates and changing as they did. Eventually a lot of them started warring on one another at a scale unheard of in pre-"civilized" cultures, which added a wicked exponent or two onto the change.

Fast forward to one of the eras of imperialism. Some societies at this point had developed much more complex varieties of warfare than others. The Romans for example had numbers, techniques, and organization that allowed for a totally different kind of conflict compared to indigenous peoples who had been doing the tribal raid type warfare since forever. Of course the more complex civilization almost always wins. So all the bounty of the areas where less complex civilization lived got shipped to the conquerors, artificially holding the lesser civilizations back.

And so we come to the era of colonialism. At the beginning of this time period there were several wealthy, somewhat advanced civilizations in africa that had avoided being raped for all their stuff and good people. There had even been a local trade empire or two. But the europeans came with gunpowder and early mechanized warfare and toppled these relatively advanced local powers. Since then the name of the game has been the same. Hehe. Africa doesn't have poo poo cuz we took everything worth taking.

ADDED TO THE OP THANKS

# ? Feb 8, 2015 17:02

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

Does anybody else feel like long posts assertively saying why things are this way just feel like mansplaining and a little microaggressive?

# ? Feb 8, 2015 17:02

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

it's not a swell place at all there's all sorts of parasites and you have a 110% chance of dying from malaria, that's the reason we left in the first place

# ? Feb 8, 2015 17:03

Nathilus: Apr 4, 2002; I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

Cole posted:

ADDED TO THE OP THANKS

np happy to help.

# ? Feb 8, 2015 17:05

Wicker Man: Sep 5, 2007; Just like Columbus...; Clapping Larry

Cole posted:

um there are no greedy rich people in africa so ur viewpoint is flawed

The dudes who have the guns, bombs, and more than a few measly rations are the rich people.

Also gently caress that poo poo about "THINK OF ALL THE STARVING CHILDREN" when I don't want to finish my plate. No wonder we got fat.

# ? Feb 8, 2015 17:05

www: Aug 4, 2010

africa is a lost cause, i just ignore it and hope it goes away

# ? Feb 8, 2015 17:11

Wicker Man: Sep 5, 2007; Just like Columbus...; Clapping Larry

www posted:

africa is a lost cause, i just ignore it and hope it goes away

Even though it's just a game, Farcry 2 really hammers it home, making it depressing as all get out :smith:

# ? Feb 8, 2015 17:12

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

Wicker Man posted:

Even though it's just a game, Farcry 2 really hammers it home, making it depressing as all get out

total recall made me feel bad for mars

# ? Feb 8, 2015 17:19

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

Wicker Man posted:

Even though it's just a game, Farcry 2 really hammers it home, making it depressing as all get out

do you know any other video games to compare this to? i have difficulty relating to unfamiliar concepts

# ? Feb 8, 2015 17:20

Wicker Man: Sep 5, 2007; Just like Columbus...; Clapping Larry

Nope, that's it. I guess no one cares enough to make other games about it :shrug:

# ? Feb 8, 2015 17:21

Un-l337-Pork: Sep 9, 2001; Oooh yeah...

There should be more indie games set in Africa. Manage a local village, fend off the raping/poaching warlords, brew the best waragi, etc. -- all set against the beautiful backdrop of the savanna and jungle or whatever. Made by white twenty year olds from LA.

# ? Feb 8, 2015 17:25

Blue Raider: Sep 2, 2006

i would like to buy a tremendous landed estate in central africa complete with large manse in order to play the most dangerous game

# ? Feb 8, 2015 17:26

Wicker Man: Sep 5, 2007; Just like Columbus...; Clapping Larry

Un-l337-Pork posted:

There should be more indie games set in Africa. Manage a local village, fend off the raping/poaching warlords, brew the best waragi, etc. -- all set against the beautiful backdrop of the savanna and jungle or whatever. Made by white twenty year olds from LA.

Don't Starve 2

# ? Feb 8, 2015 17:27

Hesh Ballantine: Feb 13, 2012

wow sports av with 10 years of posting makes a dumb "ironic" thread in gibbis wow im so surprised wow

# ? Feb 8, 2015 17:34

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 16:31

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

Hesh Ballantine posted:

wow sports av with 10 years of posting makes a dumb "ironic" thread in gibbis wow im so surprised wow

one time a guy was giving a seminar on something really stupid. i could tell he wasn't serious and anyone participating was stupid.

i went anyway.

# ? Feb 8, 2015 17:37

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > s/o to all of the starving children in africa