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i have a plunger but it isn't working so thats out of the question... now i turn to the forums for help. thanks friends!!
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Feb 26, 2015 07:34
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 02:11 |
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i have the same problem op. weird
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Feb 26, 2015 07:35
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pour some hot water into the toilet the hotter the water the less you need post turd pics
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Feb 26, 2015 07:35
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put the plunger in yer butt
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Feb 26, 2015 07:36
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Just get that goon who thinks feces are sterile to suck it all out.
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Feb 26, 2015 07:40
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Why isn't the plunger working? Are you doing it right? Are you...RETARDED?
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Feb 26, 2015 07:42
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Press your face into the toilet and suck hard
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Feb 26, 2015 07:43
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open valve in toilet cistern, and flush. fill cistern with draino, wait 5 mins, and flush. If the turd is visible, use a stick to mash it up
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Feb 26, 2015 07:43
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Billmac posted:open valve in toilet cistern, and flush. fill cistern with draino, wait 5 mins, and flush. If the turd is visible, use a stick to mash it up drat son, you got some serious turd wranglin' skills.  Dont completely fill the cistern with Drano by the way. You should do the normal advertised ratio because it will mess up your float valve and flap valve if you use too much.
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Feb 26, 2015 07:50
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pay your water bill
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Feb 26, 2015 07:50
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roll up your sleeve and get that fat loving arm of yours in there. it is the only way.
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Feb 26, 2015 07:51
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Jell-O.
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Feb 26, 2015 07:53
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try to think of it as "practice fisting."
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Feb 26, 2015 07:55
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you gotta put the rubber part in op, the stick only works some of the time
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Feb 26, 2015 07:56
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hang on to the poo poo
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Feb 26, 2015 07:56
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What did you do to the toilet in the first place to clog it up?
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Feb 26, 2015 08:01
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just let it sit for a while
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Feb 26, 2015 08:02
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Don't use a real plunger. Use one of these instead. If you don't have one, look around and see if you can steal one from a neighbour or something. When your successful y a thief, use it like a plunger. But this is good advice too and will help - Mr. Popo posted:try to think of it as "practice fisting." Specially if you say stuff like "take it you love it don't you? Mhmm you do"
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Feb 26, 2015 08:03
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Put soap or detergent in a bucket of water, fill the bucket with hot water, fill the toilet with this mixture. Repeat when till it is safe to flush.
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Feb 26, 2015 08:04
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Macropiper posted:Put soap or detergent in a bucket of water, fill the bucket with hot water, fill the toilet with this mixture. Repeat when till it is safe to flush. 
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Feb 26, 2015 08:05
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGnID2WnHvo
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Feb 26, 2015 08:06
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Poop is sterile when it first leaves your butt. The problem is that the world is a filthy place, and there are tiny germs the size of ants covering virtually every surface of every thing. Hell, the minute that poop comes in contact with the air, it's already crawling with germs and viruses and bacteria and spooky thoughts. I've heard that astronauts can freely poo poo in their space labs and they just let the poo poo float around because it's perfectly safe.
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Feb 26, 2015 08:08
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Cream-of-Plenty posted:Poop is sterile when it first leaves your butt. The problem is that the world is a filthy place, and there are tiny germs the size of ants covering virtually every surface of every thing. Hell, the minute that poop comes in contact with the air, it's already crawling with germs and viruses and bacteria and spooky thoughts. I've heard that astronauts can freely poo poo in their space labs and they just let the poo poo float around because it's perfectly safe. Is that why you eat so much of it?
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Feb 26, 2015 08:10
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OP update please.
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Feb 26, 2015 08:10
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Waltzing Along posted:Is that why you eat so much of it? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_safety_incidents_in_China#Sewage_used_in_tofu_manufacturing
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Feb 26, 2015 08:11
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get on teh roof and run an auger through the vent eat your lentils after the winter solstice.for good fortune. hold the a buton and unleash a cyclonic strike while huddled amidst the lush shrubbery in your front yard. salt the earth. call the city and tell them their faulty infrasructure is preventing your massive shits and sick rhmes from flowing. try saving your bacon grease instead of discarding it - a pound of bacon grease can fry 5 lbs of hashbrowns. funnel your poo poo into milkjugs, and your piss into discarded plastic bottles.\\ boil gallons of hot water, but flush your pipes with plenty of warm water before sending heaping gallons of boiling water and concentrated dishsoap down the hatches - they might burst if you go from frozen to boiling too quick!
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Feb 26, 2015 09:14
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Shrink to a 1/6th representation of yourself. Flush yourself down the toilet with a roll of bubble wrap and a q-tip. Pop the wrap's bubbles when you need a little O2. Use the q-tip to break apart the stubborn stool.
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Feb 26, 2015 09:22
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Wrap a hand towel round you hand, then put you arm in a bin liner, preferably a thick one so it doesn't split. use it like a plunger, but because it will make a better seal it will push everything round past the u bend. If that doesn't fix it then you need to call someone out to rod your drains. Edit - turn the bin liner inside out as you remove your arm from the toilet.
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Feb 26, 2015 09:23
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Using a socket set, remove the bolts from the base of the toilet (these are typically 5/16"). Gripping the sides of the tank, "walk" the toilet back and forth (or side to side) until the wax seal between the toilet base and the floor breaks free. Setting the toilet to the side, the pipes should be adequately exposed to hook a finger into the clog and crumble/scrape it loose. Using a hacksaw of sufficient sharpness, permanently dismantle any remaining pipe above the level of the floor except for a ~6 inch length. From now on, when you have to make stool, sit on the pipe so that it goes up your rear end and poo poo into the pipe like a civilized human being, you dumb loving pig.
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Feb 26, 2015 09:29
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Macropiper posted:Put soap or detergent in a bucket of water, fill the bucket with hot water, fill the toilet with this mixture. Repeat when till it is safe to flush. Pour it from a mighty height, while hollering
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Feb 26, 2015 09:55
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Honestly, you know what will get a turd out of a toilet? A second turd.
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Feb 26, 2015 09:57
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Leave it. Make okcupid profile saying looking for diy type Kick back
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Feb 26, 2015 10:16
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Plungers rely on sucking water back up, not pushing the poo poo thru the clog.
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Feb 26, 2015 10:20
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gulp all the water out like a baleen whale
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Feb 26, 2015 10:22
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amityville anus posted:Plungers rely on sucking water back up, not pushing the poo poo thru the clog. moreover, the term "queef" refers to the plosive expulsion of air which first has to be introduced through the terminus before its namesake sound can register
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Feb 26, 2015 10:28
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have you considered 'reverse making GBS threads' the turd back into your anus? just an idea
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Feb 26, 2015 11:10
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Feb 26, 2015 11:41
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this is me vs management ideas
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Feb 26, 2015 11:53
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don't listen to anyone that tells you to use drano/liquid plumber or whatever. as someone who's done plumbing before I'd like to tell you all not to pour lye and other volatile chemicals into your pipes. mix a tiny bit of bleach with some hot water and let it sit for a little while before trying to flush again. alternately you should buy a better plunger; they make better ones.
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Feb 26, 2015 11:58
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 02:11 |
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let me...snake...your....drain *porno guitar plays in the background
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Feb 26, 2015 13:15
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