Open Letter to Chrysler Haters

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Open Letter to Chrysler Haters

Seizure Meat: Jul 23, 2008; by Smythe

skooma512 posted:

Too bad. A rental is an extended and prolonged test drive. Ford, Toyota, Hyundai, Nissan etc somehow manage to get away with giving rental fleets cars that aren't totally dogshit, because they understand a rental is going to give an impression of their brand, because why shouldn't it? If I get a sample from Costco and it tastes like crap, why would take their word for it that the version on sale is so much better?

I agree with this, but if a budget minded rental company orders a fleet of specially ordered, deoptioned cars that aren't available to the public as a trim model, you're not getting an accurate picture of what a retail version of that car is like.

The reason some companies don't do this is what you're talking about, but a fair number of them will build shitboxes for a customer if the order is large enough.

Seizure Meat fucked around with this message at 05:15 on Mar 29, 2015

# ? Mar 29, 2015 05:12

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# ? May 5, 2024 00:56

Phone: Jul 30, 2005; 親子丼をほしい。

The Chrysler 200 is an awful car. No amount of up speccing and apologist dogshit is going to explain that one away.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 05:51

8ender: Sep 24, 2003; clown is watching you sleep

Phone posted:

The Chrysler 200 is an awful car. No amount of up speccing and apologist dogshit is going to explain that one away.

It's extra special because you know a bunch of people at Chrysler think they've started an entirely new lineup (100, 200, 300 etc) kickstarted by the slightly better than average sales of the 300, and the 200 an incredible turd that will continue to sabotage their brand hard enough that Fiat will probably pull out.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 06:56

Seizure Meat: Jul 23, 2008; by Smythe

Phone posted:

The Chrysler 200 is an awful car. No amount of up speccing and apologist dogshit is going to explain that one away.

No argument from me, I've been in the normal ones the public can buy and they are a loving disease.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 07:06

Tekne: Feb 15, 2012; It's-a me, motherfucker

8ender posted:

It's extra special because you know a bunch of people at Chrysler think they've started an entirely new lineup (100, 200, 300 etc) kickstarted by the slightly better than average sales of the 300, and the 200 an incredible turd that will continue to sabotage their brand hard enough that Fiat will probably pull out.

Ironically, the new 200 is selling like crazy (first month sold 11k units and it's gone up since then), and I see the drat things everywhere now. The previous car was a steaming shitpile, so it's good the only thing they share is the Pentastar V6. Between the success of the Cherokee, the 200, and probably the Renegade, this is the most money Fiat has seen in a long time. They will need every cent of it to revive Alfa Romeo, but it's cool since the mopar side will get the platforms to play with. The Challenger might get smaller as a result or they'll just slot a Mustang/Camaro sized coupe under it.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 07:15

Militant Lesbian: Oct 3, 2002

Tekne posted:

The Challenger might get smaller as a result or they'll just slot a Mustang/Camaro sized coupe under it.

Make a smaller actual pony car, name it the Challenger, keep selling the current Challenger chassis as the new Charger, rename the current Charger to the Polara.

Would even be historically accurate as the original Polara was used as a cop car

# ? Mar 29, 2015 07:45

Das Volk: Nov 19, 2002; by Cyrano4747

My dad swapped a 440 6-pack and Hurst 4-speed into a Plymouth Satellite sedan. It was one hell of a sleeper, he even left the original column shifter from the automatic.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 07:49

Wild EEPROM: Jul 29, 2011; oh, my, god. Becky, look at her bitrate.

I like how the car recommendation thread actually recommends the 200.

The Worst Car.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 07:55

Francis Baconator: Jul 11, 2008; Thanks for the avatar man!

Wild EEPROM posted:

I like how the car recommendation thread actually recommends the 200.

The Worst Car.

How about the current Jetta with the 2.slow?

# ? Mar 29, 2015 10:18

Phone: Jul 30, 2005; 親子丼をほしい。

Last time I posted about the 200 some loving moron was like "the new one is really good! The 9 speed auto is nice and the interior is great! I promise!"

Yeah, I should really give the Chrysler 200 another go because Chrysler is well known for making up for their dogshit awfulness between product generations.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 11:08

Seizure Meat: Jul 23, 2008; by Smythe

HotCanadianChick posted:

Make a smaller actual pony car, name it the Challenger, keep selling the current Challenger chassis as the new Charger, rename the current Charger to the Polara.

Would even be historically accurate as the original Polara was used as a cop car

if they make a smaller pony car they should name it the 'Cuda, because the Challenger has always been a GT car

the 'Cuda and Challenger were not as similar as people think, they had different wheelbases and everything

e- though I get your point and it's not a bad idea

# ? Mar 29, 2015 12:42

BloodBag: Sep 20, 2008; WITNESS ME!

Sudo Echo posted:

why in gods name would you leave that horrible dealer badge on

why does anyone leave it on

Those were the first pics I took upon getting that car home. The first thing I did was take all the clear lake doge badging off it after I put the camera down.

The cylinder deactivation on the hemi back then was wierd. It only would do it if you were cruising along under 65mph. 66 and you got all 8. You could hear and feel the switch over

# ? Mar 29, 2015 12:57

CornHolio: May 20, 2001; Toilet Rascal

Test drove a new Challenger R/T yesterday. Visibility was quite poor, it really wasn't any faster than my 540i despite being up nearly 100 hp on it, the shifter felt a little notchy... but holy poo poo it was awesome regardless.

They pulled it out of the showroom and the sound as they started it up gave me a semi. And I couldn't stop looking at it.

I was surprised at how easy it was to get used to the size and weight, and how easy it was to drive normally. Definitely still want one.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 13:28

Jymmybob: Jun 26, 2000; Grimey Drawer

Taco Box posted:

Those were the first pics I took upon getting that car home. The first thing I did was take all the clear lake doge badging off it after I put the camera down.

The cylinder deactivation on the hemi back then was wierd. It only would do it if you were cruising along under 65mph. 66 and you got all 8. You could hear and feel the switch over

You can still hear it pretty easily when it goes to 4 and for a while I was considering getting a tune just to disable it in all modes because it's fairly loud when it starts engine braking on a slow decel to a stop. It wouldn't surprise me if it still was under 65 only because I don't remember hearing it much at full freeway speeds probably because it assumes it needs full power to overcome wind resistance without risking lugging but who knows. I'll be watching for it now just to see.

CornHolio posted:

Test drove a new Challenger R/T yesterday. Visibility was quite poor, it really wasn't any faster than my 540i despite being up nearly 100 hp on it, the shifter felt a little notchy... but holy poo poo it was awesome regardless.

They pulled it out of the showroom and the sound as they started it up gave me a semi. And I couldn't stop looking at it.

I was surprised at how easy it was to get used to the size and weight, and how easy it was to drive normally. Definitely still want one.

Do iiiiit. Considering the scat pack?

# ? Mar 29, 2015 13:59

Applebees Appetizer: Jan 23, 2006

Scat pack sounds so wrong but I guess it's fitting for Chrysler :v:

# ? Mar 29, 2015 14:13

Jymmybob: Jun 26, 2000; Grimey Drawer

leica posted:

Scat pack sounds so wrong but I guess it's fitting for Chrysler

# ? Mar 29, 2015 14:49

CornHolio: May 20, 2001; Toilet Rascal

Jymmybob posted:

Do iiiiit. Considering the scat pack?

Not really. The regular R/T plus is perfectly fine for me, no options even. I don't want to pay more than that.

If anything I'd get the shaker cause it's cool, though even that's probably not gonna happen honestly.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 14:52

Francis Baconator: Jul 11, 2008; Thanks for the avatar man!

CornHolio posted:

Test drove a new Challenger R/T yesterday. Visibility was quite poor, it really wasn't any faster than my 540i despite being up nearly 100 hp on it, the shifter felt a little notchy... but holy poo poo it was awesome regardless.

They pulled it out of the showroom and the sound as they started it up gave me a semi. And I couldn't stop looking at it.

I was surprised at how easy it was to get used to the size and weight, and how easy it was to drive normally. Definitely still want one.

I'd say that's pretty accurate, based on my own experience. I was surprised how peppy the Pentwater was in it, too. Drove a V8 R/T and the V6 in AWD trims (wife thing), and they still accelerated nicely, even with the extra weight. Definitely a blunt instrument as opposed to Germanic precision, but the acceleration is addictive.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 15:15

CommieGIR: Aug 22, 2006; The blue glow is a feature, not a bug; Pillbug

Francis Baconator posted:

How about the current Jetta with the 2.slow?

If you are not buying the TDI, you are wrong.

But the Jetta 2.0, even with its lovely quality, is not trying to pretend its somethings its not, unlike a lot of Chrysler's lineup, including the Chrysler 200 which they bill in ads as 'America's Import' (which may just be an inside joke among the ad agency or something)

CommieGIR fucked around with this message at 15:52 on Mar 29, 2015

# ? Mar 29, 2015 15:23

StandardVC10: Feb 6, 2007; This avatar now 50% more dark mode compliant

Not issuing an opinion one way or the other on base model Jettas, but I believe the 2.0 is slated to die soon and be replaced by a newer 1.8 turbo engine.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 17:22

G-Mach: Feb 6, 2011

8ender posted:

Is this a Caravan? My dads caravan will lose its dash lights and the wipers will turn on full blast randomly for no reason at all. This is awesome when you're cruising down a bug filled road at night and suddenly your windshield is a smear.

It was a dodge durango. Whenever you turned the wipers on at certain settings all the lights would start flashing almost in-sync with the wipers. Kind of dangerous in the rain.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 18:03

Seizure Meat: Jul 23, 2008; by Smythe

CommieGIR posted:

If you are not buying the TDI, you are wrong.

But the Jetta 2.0, even with its lovely quality, is not trying to pretend its somethings its not, unlike a lot of Chrysler's lineup, including the Chrysler 200 which they bill in ads as 'America's Import' (which may just be an inside joke among the ad agency or something)

America's import is a great name for it, it's a beige toaster of a car designed for housewives to lease for two years and then throw away

# ? Mar 29, 2015 18:19

CommieGIR: Aug 22, 2006; The blue glow is a feature, not a bug; Pillbug

VikingSkull posted:

America's import is a great name for it, it's a beige toaster of a car designed for housewives to lease for two years and then throw away

I don't think VW pushes the 2.0 Jetta as their top level model, unlike Chrysler and the 200.

But who am I kidding, I'm in a thread where someone is trying to save Chrysler's honor and debating with a guy whose pickup truck has a spoiler, no offense

# ? Mar 29, 2015 18:24

Seizure Meat: Jul 23, 2008; by Smythe

Hey, I'm not defending Chrysler, they are pretty terrible

I mean, they put a spoiler on a truck, for fucks sake

# ? Mar 29, 2015 18:28

CommieGIR: Aug 22, 2006; The blue glow is a feature, not a bug; Pillbug

VikingSkull posted:

Hey, I'm not defending Chrysler, they are pretty terrible

I mean, they put a spoiler on a truck, for fucks sake

Like I said, no offense

Honestly the spoiler isn't bad looking, but having had three different 1500 Rams in my life, I have a horrible taste in my mouth from that vehicle. Every time I see one, I get kinda a sick feeling. I still have a 1999 Dodge 1500 that is strictly for engine/transmission pulls, and its a dog.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 18:29

BrokenKnucklez: Apr 22, 2008; by zen death robot

The old 318 was a dog, but a durable dog.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 20:16

iwentdoodie: Apr 29, 2005; 🤗YOU'RE WELCOME🤗

Our vanpool Durango just got dropped off Friday afternoon for its fifth round of transmission work in under 25k.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 20:21

8ender: Sep 24, 2003; clown is watching you sleep

What's wrong with the VAG 2.0L turbo? That's a great engine.

Phone posted:

Last time I posted about the 200 some loving moron was like "the new one is really good! The 9 speed auto is nice and the interior is great! I promise!"

I can't think of anything more terrifying than a 9 speed auto from Chrysler.

# ? Mar 30, 2015 00:00

Phone: Jul 30, 2005; 親子丼をほしい。

8ender posted:

I can't think of anything more terrifying than a 9 speed auto from Chrysler.

It's not their transmission. They're just buying OTS ZF transmissions.

They did forego buying the programming for it, though. To save money, their going to develop their own control in house. I cannot see how this will fail.

# ? Mar 30, 2015 00:19

StandardVC10: Feb 6, 2007; This avatar now 50% more dark mode compliant

8ender posted:

What's wrong with the VAG 2.0L turbo? That's a great engine.

Not the turbo, the naturally aspirated 2.0 8-valve base engine.

# ? Mar 30, 2015 00:21

Applebees Appetizer: Jan 23, 2006

Phone posted:

It's not their transmission. They're just buying OTS ZF transmissions.

They did forego buying the programming for it, though. To save money, their going to develop their own control in house. I cannot see how this will fail.

Haha are you serious what a bunch of loving idiots. Chrysler is the worst.

# ? Mar 30, 2015 01:03

HEY VAPER: May 15, 2014; by XyloJW

mariooncrack posted:

On my way home, on the other side of the highway, I saw a car on fire and traffic backed up for miles. Guess what kind of car it was.

Pretty sure it was a Dodge Stratus

my dad bought a brand new car and the transmission caught on fire and burned the car down in the middle of an intersection within the first week of owning it

1999 dodge durango, kind of like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95XyqJXPdS4

HEY VAPER fucked around with this message at 02:17 on Mar 30, 2015

# ? Mar 30, 2015 02:14

BrokenKnucklez: Apr 22, 2008; by zen death robot

Phone posted:

It's not their transmission. They're just buying OTS ZF transmissions.

They did forego buying the programming for it, though. To save money, their going to develop their own control in house. I cannot see how this will fail.

Chryslerengineering.txt

# ? Mar 30, 2015 02:46

Catatron Prime: Aug 23, 2010; IT ME; Toilet Rascal

HEY VAPER posted:

my dad bought a brand new car and the transmission caught on fire and burned the car down in the middle of an intersection within the first week of owning it

1999 dodge durango, kind of like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95XyqJXPdS4

And here I thought that lemon laws were just a vestigial remnant of the 70's.

:stonklol:

Catatron Prime fucked around with this message at 02:50 on Mar 30, 2015

# ? Mar 30, 2015 02:48

Wheeee: Mar 11, 2001; When a tree grows, it is soft and pliable. But when it's dry and hard, it dies.

Hardness and strength are death's companions. Flexibility and softness are the embodiment of life.

That which has become hard shall not triumph.

Phone posted:

It's not their transmission. They're just buying OTS ZF transmissions.

They did forego buying the programming for it, though. To save money, their going to develop their own control in house. I cannot see how this will fail.

At least they just perform like poo poo, since they're made by ZF they at least won't grenade or burn your car down.

# ? Mar 30, 2015 04:12

Salami Surgeon: Jan 21, 2001; Don't close. Don't close.; Nap Ghost

They are also assembling the transmissions themselves. Chrysler buys all the pieces and puts them together in a Chrysler factory.

# ? Mar 30, 2015 04:48

Applebees Appetizer: Jan 23, 2006

Is there an option to request that ZF build and program your transmission?

:laugh:

# ? Mar 30, 2015 04:59

Bajaha: Apr 1, 2011; BajaHAHAHA.

leica posted:

Is there an option to request that ZF build and program your transmission?

The Competence-in-Assembly-and-Engineering package is a rarely chosen option as it increases price by $5,000 and offers no benefits as stated by the brochure.

# ? Mar 30, 2015 05:05

HEY VAPER: May 15, 2014; by XyloJW

OSU_Matthew posted:

And here I thought that lemon laws were just a vestigial remnant of the 70's.

he keeps getting letters in the mail about the gm ignition switch recall and chooses to ignore them. you can say he likes to live on the edge of spontaneous combustion, and american cars enable his choice to drive a deathtrap.

SNiPER_Magnum posted:

They are also assembling the transmissions themselves. Chrysler buys all the pieces and puts them together in a Chrysler factory.

this can't be good re: my last post

HEY VAPER fucked around with this message at 06:41 on Mar 30, 2015

# ? Mar 30, 2015 06:38

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# ? May 5, 2024 00:56

Phone: Jul 30, 2005; 親子丼をほしい。

HEY VAPER posted:

he keeps getting letters in the mail about the gm ignition switch recall and chooses to ignore them. you can say he likes to live on the edge of spontaneous combustion, and american cars enable his choice to drive a deathtrap.

this can't be good re: my last post

HEY MAN, YOU'RE NOT GIVING CHRYSLER A FAIR SHAKE. YOU'RE JUST ONE OF THOSE PARROTS PARROTING PARROT THINGS, DUDE.

# ? Mar 30, 2015 07:48

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