What exactly is appeal of Chipotle?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > What exactly is appeal of Chipotle?

Borneo Jimmy: Feb 27, 2007; by Smythe

lovely service, overrated overpriced salty burritos, and apparently they print awful essays by Judd Apatow on their cups and bags, seriously why do people go there?

# ? Mar 29, 2015 21:39

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 04:30

West SAAB Story: Mar 13, 2014; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 251 days!)

its a weak sauce much like the weak whites that buy it

# ? Mar 29, 2015 21:40

Irradiation: Sep 14, 2005; I understand your frustration.

Burritos for white people who can't get/tolerate real burritos even though they are the same price and much much better.

Still somehow much better and less whiter than Laughing Planet.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 21:42

1gnoirents: Jun 28, 2014; hello

is that the best you got OP

# ? Mar 29, 2015 21:42

Borneo Jimmy: Feb 27, 2007; by Smythe

West SAAB Story posted:

its a weak sauce much like the weak whites that buy it

There's a Chipotle near me that's directly across the street from an identical burrito place that's faster and run and staffed by actual Mexicans and the tortillas are actually made from fresh dough.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 21:43

thathonkey: Jul 17, 2012

Every chipotle ive ever been to has been busy as gently caress and they make you pay for salsa then only give like a dozen chips. gently caress chipotle

# ? Mar 29, 2015 21:44

Riot Bimbo: Dec 28, 2006

i hate actual burritos (gently caress beans) so being able to excise them from tainting the other stuff is majorly appealing

# ? Mar 29, 2015 21:49

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

The food tastes good is the answer to any sort of question like this

*Does a little dance as he just saved an infinite amount of current and future people an infinite amount of man-hours from having to ask and answer these sorts of questions*

# ? Mar 29, 2015 21:52

synftw: Jun 14, 2007; Chaos-Gnostic Satanist

i'm a Moe's kinda guy

"Welcome to Moe's!"

# ? Mar 29, 2015 21:57

Fergus Mac Roich: Nov 5, 2008; Soiled Meat

hemophilia posted:

i hate actual burritos (gently caress beans) so being able to excise them from tainting the other stuff is majorly appealing

whaaaat the gently caress

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:00

Nonsense: Jan 26, 2007

Borneo Jimmy posted:

and the tortillas are actually made from fresh dough.

accept nothing else my friends

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:00

the worst thing is: Oct 3, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

I used to like them but I have come around to the OP's point of view as of late. Its hot garbage. Underspiced oversalted, if they aren't coating everything with MSG already they might as well. Supply line mexican food, reminds me of how they had to salt all the food for voyages to the new world, preserved for transportation and taste. Only fit to eat in places where there's no other mexican food at all (almost nowhere).

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:01

West SAAB Story: Mar 13, 2014; by Athanatos
(and can't post for 251 days!)

Borneo Jimmy posted:

There's a Chipotle near me that's directly across the street from an identical burrito place that's faster and run and staffed by actual Mexicans and the tortillas are actually made from fresh dough.

Let me guess which one is staffed by white collars.. lol like they'd eat in either establishment

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:02

SweetMercifulCrap!: Jan 28, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

it's consistent :smug:

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:02

Giraffe: Dec 12, 2005; Soiled Meat

The sofritas bowl is pretty tasty.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:03

Riot Bimbo: Dec 28, 2006

Fergus Mac Roich posted:

whaaaat the gently caress

beans are the loving worst. all kinds of bean are bullshit filler. even beandip is a scourge on chips

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:03

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

sweetmercifulcrap posted:

it's consistent

sometimes ya just want that consistent food ya know?

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:04

Gobblecoque: Sep 6, 2011

chipotle is okay if you're a dumb baby who likes crazy overpriced bad food or if you can't go to an actual mexican restaurant because you can't stand having to interact with mexicans.

hemophilia posted:

i hate actual burritos (gently caress beans) so being able to excise them from tainting the other stuff is majorly appealing

kill yourself

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:04

Fergus Mac Roich: Nov 5, 2008; Soiled Meat

hemophilia posted:

beans are the loving worst. all kinds of bean are bullshit filler. even beandip is a scourge on chips

you live a sad life

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:06

soy: Jul 7, 2003; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

perfect macro nutrient counts, convenient, fast, can order online..

just don't get their red/green salsa, that's what makes it overly salty tasting.

the correct order: 2x meat (chicken or steak), brown rice (fiber), black beans (fiber), corn salsa (cool looking poop), cheese (sat fat), guac (sat fat), lettuce.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:06

Lucky Guy: Jan 24, 2013; TY for no bm

i enjoy terrible diarrhea, op

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:06

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

hemophilia posted:

beans are the loving worst. all kinds of bean are bullshit filler. even beandip is a scourge on chips

I'm gonna fight you so hard

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:06

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Irradiation posted:

Still somehow much better and less whiter than Laughing Planet.

Laughing Planet was amazing. I mean I dont think they exist outside of Oregon, but Oregon is like 99% white and it fits perfectly. It doesnt even pretend to be the slightest bit mexican and its proud in that. They used to have one called Elmer Fudd which was like mashed potatoes, broccoli and some garlic sauce. It was stupidly good

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:11

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:11

logical phalluses: Mar 18, 2009; The living look upon the corpse with their eyesight,
But without eyesight lingers a different living and looks
curiously on the corpse.

i regularly eat authentic tacos made by mexicans out of weird parts of the animal and i still like chipotle.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:12

Business Gorillas: Mar 11, 2009

Some of us live in lovely suburbs and it's a quick, not terrible meal for like $7. When all you have to choose from is chains it's actually a top tier choice, op

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:12

Dead Precedents: May 5, 2005; Precedents come and go, but death goes on forever.

I guess it might be okay if you're in some shithole, white-bread state (like Iowa) where they don't know what a burrito is.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:14

Riot Bimbo: Dec 28, 2006

Big Beef City posted:

I'm gonna fight you so hard

Let's go bean boy

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:15

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

It's convenient because every imaginable combination of burrito, protein and condiment type is already loaded into MyFitnessPal. Plus every burrito is like 1000+ cal with the tortilla, what's not to love about that.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:21

Nonsense: Jan 26, 2007

MyFitFoods sounds like a good place to eat compared to chipotle, is it?

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:22

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

I'll have one bucket of inoffensive food for seven dollars please

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:22

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

hemophilia posted:

i hate actual burritos (gently caress beans) so being able to excise them from tainting the other stuff is majorly appealing

You can ask for no beans on your burrito at authentic Mexican restaurants

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:23

thathonkey: Jul 17, 2012

Sheep-Goats posted:

I'll have one bucket of inoffensive food for seven dollars please

I only eat offensive food :smug:

it's how you can tell i'm cultured

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:24

FedEx Mercury: Jan 7, 2004; Me bad posting? That's unpossible!; Lipstick Apathy

soy posted:

perfect macro nutrient counts, convenient, fast, can order online..

just don't get their red/green salsa, that's what makes it overly salty tasting.

the correct order: 2x meat (chicken or steak), brown rice (fiber), black beans (fiber), corn salsa (cool looking poop), cheese (sat fat), guac (sat fat), lettuce.

Yeah it's a great nutrient balance if your diet goals are 50% carbs and 20% fat.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:24

Sweaty IT Nerd: Jul 13, 2007

Gaunab posted:

You can ask for no beans on your burrito at authentic Mexican restaurants

Or any other place in the world.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:24

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

notZaar posted:

Yeah it's a great nutrient balance if your diet goals are 50% carbs and 20% fat.

That's um, a perfectly normal macro diet for many.

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:25

Death By Yogurt: Apr 3, 2007

I'M A GOON AND I HATE SOMETHING MOST PEOPLE LIKE

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:26

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Just thinking about burritos make my mouth burn. I don't see how you can possibly handle the spice level of these things, good god I just want to TASTE the food. Even saying the words Mexican Food makes me poo poo firey water immediately and I cry and run to guzzle milk

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:29

Giblet Plus!: Sep 14, 2004

The calorie/$ and protein/$ ratios are decent

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:30

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 04:30

FedEx Mercury: Jan 7, 2004; Me bad posting? That's unpossible!; Lipstick Apathy

exquisite tea posted:

That's um, a perfectly normal macro diet for many.

It's a recipe for turning into a dumpy little softboy

# ? Mar 29, 2015 22:31

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