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I have been quite gassy for unknown reasons going on 2 days now. I had to leave the office earlier today since I couldn't fart everything out there without disturbing my colleagues. I've taken over-the-counter stuff like Mylanta but no luck. Any tips on how to relieve this? Thank you for your consideration in this trying time.
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Aug 12, 2015 23:12
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 12:06 |
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fart them out of ur butt OP drat
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Aug 12, 2015 23:13
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suck a lot of dick
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Aug 12, 2015 23:15
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anal sex
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Aug 12, 2015 23:15
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Let someone gently caress you in the rear end, it's like hiccups you can scare them away.
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Aug 12, 2015 23:15
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try jumping off a tall building op
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Aug 12, 2015 23:16
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Allow me to refer to my thread: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3734341 E: for a pharmocological solution, take simethicone
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Aug 12, 2015 23:16
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symbolic posted:anal sex no this will just pump air in his rear end and he will explode. from all the gas.
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Aug 12, 2015 23:18
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Seppuku  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrS3mGZ_Nok Get those farts out at the source. (It's really not that bad and very fake)
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Aug 12, 2015 23:18
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Cool NIN Shirt posted:Allow me to refer to my thread: This is very helpful, thank you. I haven't ruled out the butt sex though, just in case. E: upon reading further into this and other posts, this may not work either. Will have to investigate firther.
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Aug 12, 2015 23:19
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if you kill yourself your bowels will relax and release all the farts. you should do it right now.
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Aug 12, 2015 23:20
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lose weight
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Aug 12, 2015 23:21
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midnightclimax posted:no this will just pump air in his rear end and he will explode. from all the gas.
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Aug 12, 2015 23:21
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Any medical student can remove them surgically in exchange for a six pack or a lil weed
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Aug 12, 2015 23:22
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tweezers
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Aug 12, 2015 23:24
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I fart out of my dick that way I can easily store them in empty gatorade bottles and the like for a rainy day
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Aug 12, 2015 23:25
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Drink 5 bottles of that citrus stuff in the laxative aisle, it says only drink 1 but it lies, will clear up the gas and more. HTH
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Aug 12, 2015 23:26
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If it's still in your body, it isn't a fart, it's just gas. Kinda like the meteoroid/meteor/meteorite distinction.
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Aug 12, 2015 23:28
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If you hold it in long enough it will go backwards and you can just burp it out
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Aug 12, 2015 23:34
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Step one: remove the butt plug.
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Aug 12, 2015 23:34
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I was going to recommend sitting in a cubical or open-office near other people as a great way to release them but I see you already tried that.
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Aug 12, 2015 23:44
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stick a shop vac up your rear end in a top hat
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Aug 13, 2015 00:14
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try drinking 1 part antifreeze and 8 parts water every night until your organs shut down.
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Aug 13, 2015 00:15
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Nooner posted:fart them out of ur butt OP drat this dumb motherfucker makes a good point
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Aug 13, 2015 00:17
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puncture your butt
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Aug 13, 2015 00:28
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a rectal catheter op
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Aug 13, 2015 00:30
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colonic irrigation
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Aug 13, 2015 00:31
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a good firm enema, your stomach pumped, and being wrapped in cold wet sheets for several hours is a good routine to get into
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Aug 13, 2015 00:35
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who wants to see a picture of my dick?
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Aug 13, 2015 01:12
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keep on pumpin
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Aug 13, 2015 01:12
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coldplay chiptunes posted:who wants to see a picture of my dick? I heard electron microscopes are very expensive
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Aug 13, 2015 01:15
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nerd death screech posted:I heard electron microscopes are very expensive idk what that has to do with a pciture of my dick but you're definitely not gegting one now..
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Aug 13, 2015 01:16
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coldplay chiptunes posted:idk what that has to do with a pciture of my dick but you're definitely not gegting one now.. wow what a loving cocktease u are, op
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Aug 13, 2015 01:18
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Aug 13, 2015 01:20
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anyone who's not rude wanna see a pic of my dick?? I already got it uploaded to imgri and the link is on my clipborad just thought someone here might like th catch a peek.
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Aug 13, 2015 01:21
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coldplay chiptunes posted:anyone who's not rude wanna see a pic of my dick?? I already got it uploaded to imgri and the link is on my clipborad just thought someone here might like th catch a peek. Just post it you dirty little slut
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Aug 13, 2015 01:22
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dark roast coffee enema. or if ur up to it and/or short on time just stick some digits up therr an have a bit of a rummage, just make sure for both of these ur nearby a toilet or some type of receptacle capable of receiving large amounts of feces cause once u hit the mark its gonna be like striking oil. gl
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Aug 13, 2015 01:48
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The real best way is very carefully
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Aug 13, 2015 01:53
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There was a thread about star trek transporter? And how the original (in this case, the fart) dies during the process? So you can transport the copy fart somewhere else maybe into an innocent who is unprepared and so farts during Mahler's 6th in place of der hammer?
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Aug 13, 2015 02:01
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 12:06 |
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So no one's heard of the fart transplant? lame.
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Aug 13, 2015 04:12
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