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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > EPL Match Day Thread 22-24 August - Mourinho vs the World
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Ape Gone Insane
Dec 10, 2010

 News:

Mourinho has named his poo poo list:

quote:

"I'm not happy with anyone," Mourinho, who also criticised himself, said.
"I'm not happy with Branislav Ivanovic's form, Gary Cahill, John Terry, Cesar Azpilicueta, Eden Hazard, Cesc Fabregas, Nemanja Matic and Wayne Rooney."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/34024188

After Brenda spent a whole week praising the 'excellence' of his team, the Premier League officially confirmed his team was in fact poo poo:

quote:

Christian Benteke's winner for Liverpool against Bournemouth on Monday should not have stood, the Premier League has confirmed.

In the incident in question, Benteke turned in a deep cross from Jordan Henderson at the far post after the ball flew past a clearly offside Coutinho, but referee Craig Pawson whistled for a goal. The League's statement used stills from the match to illustrate the rules and underneath it said: "Expected outcome: Offside offence."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/34022326

In other news, Wayne Rooney is still missing. Please contact if seen.




Biggest match is Arsenal vs Liverpool, always a classic and other big matches to watch out for are ones that involve United, Chelsea and City. Everything else is poo poo.
* # ? Aug 22, 2015 11:18
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# ? Apr 27, 2024 06:20
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Frankston
Jul 27, 2010


 Teams I want to win today:

Aston Villa

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 11:27
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sebzilla
Mar 17, 2009

Kid's blasting everything in sight with that new-fangled musket.


 Leicester beating Spurs will be cool and good. Also I hope Chelsea continue to implode and Mourinho blames an international conspiracy or something.

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 11:38
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Ratios and Tendency
Apr 23, 2010

:swoon: MURALI :swoon:


 It will be interesting to see whether Bournemouth ever score a goal.

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 11:38
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jyrka
Jan 21, 2005


Potato Count: 2 small potatoes
 I'm very excited about football.

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 11:39
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Ziggy Tzardust
Apr 7, 2006

Ratios and Tendency posted:

It will be interesting to see whether Bournemouth ever score a goal.

Our backup keeper is a little bit poo poo judging from the Europa League and pre-season games. He let in 8 goals against Bournemouth last season. I'd be surprised if Bournemouth didn't score at least 2 today

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 11:40
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tarbrush
Feb 7, 2011

ALL ABOARD THE SCOTLAND HYPE TRAIN!

CHOO CHOO
The only game on TV is likely to be eye-gougingly bad. This saddens me.

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 11:45
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EvilHawk
Sep 15, 2009

LIVARPOOL!

Klopp's 13pts clear thanks to video ref

 poo poo team? 100% record :smug: (until Monday night)

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 11:47
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Steves Asleep
Jun 5, 2005

 I'm pumped for Man Utd v Newcastle.

Noted Serb mentalist Mitrovic is starting.

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 11:48
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EvilHawk
Sep 15, 2009

LIVARPOOL!

Klopp's 13pts clear thanks to video ref

Steves Asleep posted:

I'm pumped for Man Utd v Newcastle.

Noted Serb mentalist Mitrovic is starting.

Putting a bet on him getting a red in the first half

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 11:51
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Ratios and Tendency
Apr 23, 2010

:swoon: MURALI :swoon:


 I can't wait for United to brutalize the magpies with an insanely sick deflected goal to nil.

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 11:54
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Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Ratios and Tendency posted:

I can't wait for United to brutalize the magpies with an insanely sick deflected goal to nil.

:agreed:

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 11:58
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Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

 Romero
Smalling
Blind
Shaw
Darmian
Schweinsteiger
Schneiderlin
Depay
Mata
Januzaj
Rooney

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:00
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Ape Gone Insane
Dec 10, 2010

 Hope Depay's on the left.

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:04
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Blue Star Error
Jun 11, 2001

For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)

Shrapnig posted:

Romero
Smalling
Blind
Shaw
Darmian
Schweinsteiger
Schneiderlin
Depay
Mata
Januzaj
Rooney

The ole recursive sweeper formation making a comeback I see

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:04
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aellisr
Oct 11, 2007

Alveolar fibrosis don't give a damn.

Steves Asleep posted:

I'm pumped for Man Utd v Newcastle.

Noted Serb mentalist Mitrovic is starting.

Welp, guess I am going to stay up a bit and watch the first 15 minutes or so. Do love me some proper mentalist action.

Also, completely queued up to do some more guffawing at Rooney's terminal velocity decline.

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:13
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Shaman Tank Spec
Dec 26, 2003

*blep*

Shrapnig posted:

Romero
Smalling
Blind
Shaw
Darmian
Schweinsteiger
Schneiderlin
Depay
Mata
Januzaj
Rooney

And the same ref who hosed up the offside goal on the Liverpool game.

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:14
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Steves Asleep
Jun 5, 2005

aellisr posted:

Welp, guess I am going to stay up a bit and watch the first 15 minutes or so. Do love me some proper mentalist action.

Also, completely queued up to do some more guffawing at Rooney's terminal velocity decline.

If there's one defence that can haul Rooney out of his rut its Newcastle's.

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:16
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Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Blue Star Error posted:

The ole recursive sweeper formation making a comeback I see

It's not in code tags so it couldn't possibly be the formation!

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:18
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Ewar Woowar
Feb 25, 2007

 I hope Pulis plays the most negative football known to man and pick up a point or three and Jose makes a face.

Also United losing and Liverpool winning would also be nice.

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:20
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flyingkiwi
Jun 1, 2012

Wowzers!
who are these united players

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:21
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Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005

Steves Asleep posted:

If there's one defence that can haul Rooney out of his rut its Newcastle's.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLBwLsnlsqU

Never forget.

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:21
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aellisr
Oct 11, 2007

Alveolar fibrosis don't give a damn.

Shrapnig posted:


Never forget.

I believe this is where your refrain belongs....


Dread Rio, the best.
Kick your feet up a while, mate.
Oh poo poo, 2 weeks out.

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:31
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Rakosi
May 5, 2008

D&D: HASBARA SQUAD
NO-QUARTERMASTER

From the river (of Palestinian blood) to the sea (of Palestinian tears)
i don't care that we're gonna lose by many goals, but I want to see mitrovic bag his first before he gets sent off.

Rakosi fucked around with this message at 12:46 on Aug 22, 2015

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:41
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Hoops
Aug 19, 2005


A Black Mark For Retarded Posting
As fixture lists go, this weekend is actually very decent.

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:41
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Ratios and Tendency
Apr 23, 2010

:swoon: MURALI :swoon:


 Wayne looks hungry, focused.

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:41
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TheRat
Aug 30, 2006

 Football :toot:

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:42
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funkybottoms
Oct 28, 2010

Funky Bottoms is a land man

Ratios and Tendency posted:

Wayne looks hungry, focused.

was there an old prostitute in front of him?

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:45
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flyingkiwi
Jun 1, 2012

Wowzers!

Ratios and Tendency posted:

Wayne looks hungry, focused.

is there a burger in front of him??

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:45
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sassassin
Apr 3, 2010

by Azathoth
Mitrovic getting in early.

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:47
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tarbrush
Feb 7, 2011

ALL ABOARD THE SCOTLAND HYPE TRAIN!

CHOO CHOO
Lol at Rooney's gut getting him called offside.

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:49
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EvilHawk
Sep 15, 2009

LIVARPOOL!

Klopp's 13pts clear thanks to video ref

 Same ref as the one at Anfield :v:

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:50
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tarbrush
Feb 7, 2011

ALL ABOARD THE SCOTLAND HYPE TRAIN!

CHOO CHOO

EvilHawk posted:

Same ref as the one at Anfield :v:

Gonna favour the bigger team.

Which is handy for Rooney.

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:51
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Rakosi
May 5, 2008

D&D: HASBARA SQUAD
NO-QUARTERMASTER

From the river (of Palestinian blood) to the sea (of Palestinian tears)
why can we not even pass it out of our half in any game?

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:51
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flyingkiwi
Jun 1, 2012

Wowzers!

tarbrush posted:

Gonna favour the bigger team.

Which is handy for Rooney.

But he ruled in favour of Liverpool?

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:52
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Ape Gone Insane
Dec 10, 2010

 United playing some really good football

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:53
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ephex
Nov 4, 2007





PHWOAR CRIMINAL
schweini :saddowns:

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:55
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Ratios and Tendency
Apr 23, 2010

:swoon: MURALI :swoon:


 This shift of emphasis away from shots on goal could revolutionize football as we know it.

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:56
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Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
would be nice of obertan to defend

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:56
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# ? Apr 27, 2024 06:20
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Blue Star Error
Jun 11, 2001

For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)
 I wish Newcastle weren't so loving useless

* # ? Aug 22, 2015 12:56
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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > EPL Match Day Thread 22-24 August - Mourinho vs the World
«‹›36 »