How To Manage Millennials: 5 Proven Strategies From The World's Leading Mil

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > How To Manage Millennials: 5 Proven Strategies From The World's Leading Mil

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Nuclearmonkee: Jun 10, 2009

can confirm that it's better to do nothing in an air conditioned office than do manual labor, even if the office is boring as gently caress

# ? Sep 22, 2015 22:27

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 20:53

MoreLikeTen: Oct 21, 2012; The farmer's mistake was believing he had any control over his life.

powerofrecall posted:

This is a good site if you have the 'snake person' extension

# ? Sep 22, 2015 22:32

Infidel Castro: Jun 8, 2010; Again and again
Your face reminds me of a bleak future
Despite the absence of hope
I give you this sacrifice

Ghaz posted:

step 1. be named jason you loving millenial piece of poo poo

If he was a real millennial expert he'd spell it Jaysyn.

Also, I'm a millennial (b. 1985) managing a bunch of millennials. That probably qualifies me as a millennial expert more than this fucker.

# ? Sep 22, 2015 22:36

MoreLikeTen: Oct 21, 2012; The farmer's mistake was believing he had any control over his life.

Infidel Castro posted:

If he was a real snake person expert he'd spell it Jaysyn.

Also, I'm a snake person (b. 1985) managing a bunch of snake people. That probably qualifies me as a snake person expert more than this fucker.

lmao

# ? Sep 23, 2015 16:48

Commie NedFlanders: Mar 8, 2014

I would have them leave their cell phones when they enter just to watch em squirm

# ? Sep 23, 2015 17:23

EngineerSean: Feb 9, 2004; by zen death robot

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

all you need to do to manage millenials is give them a task and step the gently caress back while they invent a whole new streamlined process for doing something your old fogey dinosaur rear end would never have comprehended. like, eat poo poo brenden at task.ly your "print out PDFs, fill in with handwriting, scan, then email" workflow just got loving up ENDED by my agile multivariable python script that sends all documents to Janice the Human Printer to convert directly into suffering, therefore sparing me from your bitchmade micromanagement.

gonna wreck that rear end drinking lambusco wine overlooking the circo de massimo.

lol nothing could be farther from the truth

most of the time if you expect an eight hour work day from a millenial they'll quit within a week and go back to freelancing or whatever

they think they can do everything better than you and they're usually right about one or two things, but refuse to follow through on every aspect of a job

now I'm going to go play Metal Gear Solid 5 for a couple hours then pass out for twelve hours or so

# ? Sep 23, 2015 17:24

Nut to Butt: Apr 13, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

how to manage mandingos

# ? Sep 23, 2015 17:59

Nathilus: Apr 4, 2002; I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

All jobs suck rear end, thats why they are jobs. If they didnt suck rear end theyd be called happyfuntime and no one would get paid to do them. Dont be fooled into thinking a kind of job u dont have is cool.

# ? Sep 23, 2015 18:06

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

EngineerSean posted:

lol nothing could be farther from the truth

most of the time if you expect an eight hour work day from a millenial they'll quit within a week and go back to freelancing or whatever

they think they can do everything better than you and they're usually right about one or two things, but refuse to follow through on every aspect of a job

now I'm going to go play Metal Gear Solid 5 for a couple hours then pass out for twelve hours or so

(this is you)

duh buh duhbuhdhudhbuhd wnat do you MEAN you can do work outside the office? buh uhbuhbuh work only happens in office. my head is a perfect cube and i hate my idiot kids. burrrrrguh i'm afraid of talented young upstarts with good education and a drive to succeed. fuh fuh dbuhf i go to parties and talk about what i've seen online, my name is shawn and i'm uh engineeaw. i expect my subordinates to clean up my idiot drool that i get everywhere constantly, because my mouth hangs agape at the thought of delicious hamburgers and ice cream confections

durr durr i'm gonna bulild my own house. hackathon. soylent. engineer. disrupt the agile workflow processing.

youre dumb

# ? Sep 23, 2015 18:17

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

(this is you)

duh buh duhbuhdhudhbuhd wnat do you MEAN you can do work outside the office? buh uhbuhbuh work only happens in office. my head is a perfect cube and i hate my idiot kids. burrrrrguh i'm afraid of talented young upstarts with good education and a drive to succeed. fuh fuh dbuhf i go to parties and talk about what i've seen online, my name is shawn and i'm uh engineeaw. i expect my subordinates to clean up my idiot drool that i get everywhere constantly, because my mouth hangs agape at the thought of delicious hamburgers and ice cream confections

durr durr i'm gonna bulild my own house. hackathon. soylent. engineer. disrupt the agile workflow processing.

youre dumb

I beleive that this is what they refer to as being "pwnd" :pwn:

# ? Sep 23, 2015 18:25

symbolic: Nov 2, 2014

Commie NedFlanders posted:

I would have them leave their cell phones when they enter just to watch em squirm

watching phoneless millennials is fun. my sister broke her phone last year and had to wait a few days to get a new one. by day two she wanted to kill herself. by day three she was asking to borrow my goddamn phone so she could text her friends.

imo phones are bad distractions. 95% of the time i use mine as an iPod.

# ? Sep 23, 2015 20:17

Nathilus: Apr 4, 2002; I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

symbolic posted:

watching phoneless millennials is fun. my sister broke her phone last year and had to wait a few days to get a new one. by day two she wanted to kill herself. by day three she was asking to borrow my goddamn phone so she could text her friends.

imo phones are bad distractions. 95% of the time i use mine as an iPod.

You need to dehumanize urself and face to bloodshed. If my 70 year old mother can be trained to civilized cell phone use, so can you. This isnt lol millennials its just the future.

# ? Sep 23, 2015 20:21

symbolic: Nov 2, 2014

Nathilus posted:

You need to dehumanize urself and face to bloodshed. If my 70 year old mother can be trained to civilized cell phone use, so can you. This isnt lol millennials its just the future.

i know how to use my phone though?

# ? Sep 23, 2015 20:25

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

yeah but are you using it enouhg? how bad is the tan on the phone side of your face? phones cause tans now right? isn't a tan just skin cancer but weaker?

dont get facial skin cancer. i lied, i'm just trolling. cancer is the worst. may u have a long and happy life

# ? Sep 23, 2015 20:29

nomadologique: Mar 9, 2011; DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

is he a millenial who is an expert, an expert in millenials, or both??

# ? Sep 23, 2015 20:30

Nathilus: Apr 4, 2002; I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

symbolic posted:

i know how to use my phone though?

No im saying u need to learn to keep it stuck in ur face all day and love that poo poo. Its good. Watch movies, play games, look poo poo up, update your fb, and whatever else! It owns.

# ? Sep 23, 2015 20:30

nomadologique: Mar 9, 2011; DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

Jason has received over 1,000 standing ovations

# ? Sep 23, 2015 20:31

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

nomadologique posted:

Jason has received over 1,000 standing ovations

is that the sex move where you're locked under a table for a week and a woman does her menses all over your face? how could she do it standing the blood would trickle down on hr legs

standing ovum-tation

# ? Sep 23, 2015 20:32

symbolic: Nov 2, 2014

Nathilus posted:

No im saying u need to learn to keep it stuck in ur face all day and love that poo poo. Its good. Watch movies, play games, look poo poo up, update your fb, and whatever else! It owns.

i don't watch movies and i have my computer and laptop for everything else

stoppit

# ? Sep 23, 2015 20:35

Nathilus: Apr 4, 2002; I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

symbolic posted:

i don't watch movies and i have my computer and laptop for everything else

stoppit

100% serious you should really consider coming over to the dark side. Its fun and easy.

# ? Sep 23, 2015 20:39

symbolic: Nov 2, 2014

Nathilus posted:

100% serious you should really consider coming over to the dark side. Its fun and easy.

gently caress you millennial spy

# ? Sep 23, 2015 20:41

Nathilus: Apr 4, 2002; I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

symbolic posted:

gently caress you millennial spy

I understand your hesitation. I felt it too, before coming over. But dont fear, it wont last. Its only your heart withering away.

# ? Sep 23, 2015 20:50

symbolic: Nov 2, 2014

Nathilus posted:

I understand your hesitation. I felt it too, before coming over. But dont fear, it wont last. Its only your heart withering away.

well that's a drat shame

# ? Sep 23, 2015 20:51

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 20:53

Pinch Me Im Meming: Jun 26, 2005

I finally downgraded my 2009 somewhat smartphone to the kind of phones you see where actual work is being done. you know the sturdy rubbery kind that never breaks.

# ? Sep 23, 2015 20:54

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > How To Manage Millennials: 5 Proven Strategies From The World's Leading Mil

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