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Step1: hands off of yourselves for 2-3 days. you know your time. step 2: go to CVS. buy latex self-adhesive bandage. They also have non-latex, since some people are allergic, you want the latex. Get latex condoms too if you don't have any. step 3: At home, strip naked and make yourself a condom jockstrap. Have handy, vegetable oil, condom, bandage. Add a teaspoon or so of oil to the INSIDE of a condom. Get a chub, carefully put on condom. Unroll the condom all the way, you are not going for a proper fit. The very bottom will be unlubricated (clean it off if not). Wrap a layer of the latex bandage around the base, it will stick to the condom and itself. Start a second wrap around that one, hooking long straps to it, at 60 degree intervervals. The 3 straps will go around each leg, and around your waist like a jockstrap. Finish wrapping the second wrap around the base. This will hold the condom on you despite being completely soft and moving around. Test your construction: You put on your jeans (heavy jeans hide full erections, somewhat). You should be able to move FREELY, go completely soft (read some news for a while), then switch to porn and you should be able to inflate inside the condom easily, and cycle. If you do this wrong it will not be held tight enough to you and you will flop out. Don't be the guy with a failed rig. Step 5: drive to sleezy stripclub by yourself. step 6: Get a lapdance with a girl who does the grindy style. step 7: it feels exactly like she slipped you in. It is SCARY. The first time I did this I freaked out wondering why she did that. step 8: have an O step 9: tip heavily, she will know and maybe freak out.
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Dec 27, 2015 05:44
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 15:53 |
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Step1: get a girl and actually gently caress her instead Jesus Christ
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Dec 27, 2015 05:47
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Thanks for the tips! 
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Dec 27, 2015 05:48
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I got to step 1 and this method is already manifestly impossible.
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Dec 27, 2015 05:50
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I just ended up jerking off and falling asleep
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Dec 27, 2015 05:50
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Step 10: Kill yourself
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Dec 27, 2015 05:51
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gagelion2 posted:Step1: hands off of yourselves for 2-3 days. you know your time. I already do this like twice a week but thanks 
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Dec 27, 2015 05:51
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going to need images i dont follow text instructions very well
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Dec 27, 2015 05:58
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Cuckoo posted:Step1: get a girl and actually gently caress her instead Jesus Christ i'm an incel.
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Dec 27, 2015 05:58
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gagelion2 posted:i'm an incel. "Lol" and also "lmao" :bigtran:
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Dec 27, 2015 06:06
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Captain Yossarian posted:"Lol" and also "lmao" :bigtran:
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Dec 27, 2015 06:09
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Nooner your Enfield AV confused and scared me...
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Dec 27, 2015 06:10
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Tldr.
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Dec 27, 2015 06:11
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Captain Yossarian posted:Nooner your Enfield AV confused and scared me... I'm scared and confused myself. I'm not sure where this journey will take me but I'm sure I will come though it as a better poster at the end
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Dec 27, 2015 06:20
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Captain Yossarian posted:Nooner your Enfield AV confused and scared me... What is going on in this mad mad world?
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Dec 27, 2015 06:24
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G.I. Jaw posted:Step 10: Kill yourself That would make a much better "Step 1".
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Dec 27, 2015 06:25
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gagelion2 posted:Step1: hands off of yourselves for 2-3 days. you know your time. 
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Dec 27, 2015 06:26
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i know this is just a lovely "weird/grossout thread" but i am kind of curious OP, where did you hear about this and can you break character and tell us if it works?
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Dec 27, 2015 06:27
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Nude Bog Lurker posted:i know this is just a lovely "weird/grossout thread" but i am kind of curious OP, where did you hear about this and can you break character and tell us if it works? trial and error, and yes it works
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Dec 27, 2015 06:28
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i' m having trouble understanding how to construct this can i just borrow yours?
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Dec 27, 2015 06:29
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OP do you offer a service where you will come to my house and get my rig set up for me? I will pay you a lot of money, I'm so confused but eager to get my O on!
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Dec 27, 2015 06:39
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Imagine being #2 to gagelion Stop posting
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Dec 27, 2015 06:43
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Can we get some pics or a process flow diagram here
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Dec 27, 2015 07:06
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Lol at peopke who cant do their rig up
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Dec 27, 2015 07:08
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i think you just jizz'd in your pants, OP
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Dec 27, 2015 07:09
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i dont think this would work as well in a gay strip club
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Dec 27, 2015 07:10
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gagelion2 posted:Step1: hands off of yourselves for 2-3 days. you know your time. 5'd so hard
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Dec 27, 2015 07:23
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Please post a pic of you in your rig so I can understand, OP. Unless you're gross, then post lots of pics.
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Dec 27, 2015 07:28
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ghostter posted:i' m having trouble understanding how to construct this can i just borrow yours? Me too. I'm having trouble picturing it. I didn't want to be the first to say because I was afraid everyone would accuse me of lying about having a penis. A lot of people on the internet pretend to be someone they're not.
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Dec 27, 2015 07:33
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gagelion2 posted:7: it feels exactly like she slipped you in. It is SCARY. The first time I did this I freaked out wondering why she did that. gagelion2 posted:i'm an incel. Then how would you know what it's like to be up in some gash?
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Dec 27, 2015 07:45
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dethkon posted:Then how would you know what it's like to be up in some gash? i have an ultra realistic feel fleshlight
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Dec 27, 2015 07:48
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i tried this but then the stripper wanted to actually have sex with me. boy was my face red as she ripped off my slacks to reveal a complex apparatus of bandages and duct tape holdling a condom full of cum around my flaccid penis
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Dec 27, 2015 07:50
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What if I ned piss
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Dec 27, 2015 07:55
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Nation posted:going to need images i dont follow text instructions very well Better yet please upload video showing how to make this.
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Dec 27, 2015 08:01
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Oh wow my first John Pop ID. Feeling like a true goon now.
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Dec 27, 2015 08:19
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gagelion you need a different hobby I recommend cooking. Home-cooked food is generally healthier than processed food and restaurant food. Pththya-lyi's "good home cooking" method Step 1: Decide what kind of meal you want to have. Step 2: Google "best [food you want to cook] recipe." Add in "easy" if you're just starting out and are not sure of your skills. Step 3: Look through the search results and find one that has lots of positive reviews. (A small number of reviews is not a big enough sample size to figure out whether the recipe is any good.) Also, some of the reviews may give you tips on how to make sure the food comes out well - good substitute ingredients, how to react to problems you may face, etc. Step 4: Read through the ingredients and instructions carefully to make sure you have all the required tools and ingredients (or that you can get them in time). Look up any cooking terms you don't know. If you don't have the exact stuff the recipe calls for, check online to see if there's a substitute you can use. Also check how long the recipe takes to complete, and make sure you have a working timer. If you can't get everything you need, find another recipe. Step 5: Make an inventory of your ingredients and supplies. If you need to, go out and get anything you need from the store. Step 6: Make sure that you have enough time to complete the prep work and cooking. Budget a little extra time in case you run into unforeseen problems. Step 7: Follow the recipe to the letter. Once you get better at cooking, you can start improvising, but as with any skill it's best to master the rules before you start breaking them. If you can, watch your food as it cooks to make sure everything comes out the way it's supposed to. Step 8: Enjoy a delicious meal!
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Dec 27, 2015 08:23
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Step 9: Kill yourself.
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Dec 27, 2015 08:29
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Oh yes I forgot that part, the most important step
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Dec 27, 2015 08:30
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