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Sitting next to me is the Second Home Edition of Curses, Voidwarp Parasites, and Occult Afflictions. Post a number between 150 and 798000 and I will flip to that page and assign you a dread illnyss.
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Apr 20, 2016 21:39
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Mushflesh Any major locomotive muscles turn into glop Not a big change for you I imagine
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Apr 20, 2016 21:44
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symbolic posted:696969 Void Wasps Any places where your skin touches other skin harbors many tiny rifts which blueblack wasps zoom in and out of, I guess the itch an awful lot, good luck
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Apr 20, 2016 21:46
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Just a runic concordance, actual descriptions are further in
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Apr 20, 2016 21:46
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Nurse Fanny posted:151 lay it on me bitch The Skrits It's taking about you soul-mind attachment becoming frail whereby you fail to know yourself and start becoming prone to demonic influence, I don't really understand it all
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Apr 20, 2016 21:48
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Dr Cheeto posted:42069 It's like two sentences before the next header. It says "...homological influence. Any foul taxidermies, recent physical aggressions toward living things, or rude swears are contributors to a worsening of this condition." Then there's a list of a dozen publication references.
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Apr 20, 2016 21:54
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Whole page just said FAG in big purple letters the first time I flipped to it, when I go there now the text is way too small to read, not sure what to tell you
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Apr 20, 2016 21:55
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Nurse Fanny posted:151 lay it on me bitch You continually lactate grease
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Apr 20, 2016 21:58
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Sialia posted:798000 "Like an interdimensional Jew the Grœnal appears to you whenever seated at a work table demanding you pay down at least on the interest of your original sin, waving a thin silver hypodermic needle about"
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Apr 20, 2016 22:04
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Germstore posted:1337 You retain a kind of fluid that ants desire with all of their being and your also make these shrill burps that alert ants to your location
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Apr 20, 2016 22:07
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VendaGoat posted:80085 Lord Zaggats Red Flare It's jock itch basically. I don't know why they didn't just call it jock itch. Edit: one of the editors is fucken Lord Zaggats 
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Apr 20, 2016 22:10
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Sylph Doderatiseel When you begin a sexual liasion a beautiful being solidifies from dust in the room. He or she is the embodiment of your partner's homosexuality desires and is irresistible to them but just as concerned with your sexual pleasure as theirs. Of course there is a cost. Whenever you pay for parking in a major metropolitan area you must pay double. Tough roll Jerry
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Apr 20, 2016 22:15
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Snails have some obsession with sacrificing themselves to you and are constantly trying to run under your feet
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Apr 20, 2016 22:17
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Honky Dong Country posted:314159 Rare disorder! "What little evidence we have suggests that someone formerly known to you has been co-opted by a malicious spirit and will soon come to you in the night, attaching itself to your back, running its thin inch long immaterial claws through your flesh, giving you every unpleasant sensation you would receive as if they were material, but none of the physical damage. The creature also reads lists of items it feels you might be interested in from catalogs unceasingly into your left ear"
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Apr 20, 2016 22:26
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Colonel Cancer posted:Y'all got "Jock Lich". A diminutive undead spellcaster has made your nether regions his permanent home. No attempt of permanent removal works, as his philastery is hidden deep inside your nutsack. The itch is unbearable, and every once in a while a random paladin gives you a righteous kick in the nuts.
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Apr 20, 2016 22:47
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Silver lung As your net personal wealth approaches the regional mean more and more thin flakes of silver begin appearing in your respiratory tract, giving you valuable confetti coughs as well as an irritating case of COPD
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Apr 20, 2016 23:09
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Colonel Cancer posted:999 Colorectal golemic displacement Turd shaped golems crawl out of the toilet when you fall asleep and attempt to remove and displace any feces in your digestive tract. Like all golems these are nearly invincible and your general state of continual bed making GBS threads with never abating constipation will not end until your death or, possibly, unless you gently caress a dog or raccoon.
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Apr 20, 2016 23:12
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Description of academic process for including or excluding particular references
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Apr 20, 2016 23:45
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Everything in your body has stopped growing except for your joints, you will soon look like one of those articulating dolls they use in drawing class
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Apr 20, 2016 23:47
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ChrisHansen posted:8675309 Liminal transporting flatulence Each fart cause a microteleportation. There is significant risk that you could be teleported a few inches into some solid material item such as a computer chair or parkay floor, causing atomic melding and indescribable pain. It is suggested you hold your farts in until you can get your clothes off and make it to the middle of the room, doing a small hop before each release.
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Apr 20, 2016 23:51
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Angry Birds Suicide posted:60457 please Pannic Blood Tubers Microscopic prankster goat gods float on innertubes down the branches of your circulatory system, throwing beer cans and horn casings up on the banks as they go along, hootin and hollerin
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Apr 21, 2016 00:33
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"Use Euler's method with three steps of width delta x = 1/3 to approximate y(1) if dy/x = xy and and the y-intercept of the solution of the differential equation is (0, -2), or be thrown into the lake of fire"
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Apr 21, 2016 00:38
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Argent-Demonic/Hyperionic Disorder Your guardian spirit alternates between showering blessings on yourself and cursing those nearest to you, making you even more of a pariah than your stinking goon rear end should be.
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Apr 21, 2016 00:41
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remigious posted:I want to play! 1543 Common Cold (Folk Derivation) Runny nose, headache, and stuffy sinuses, all actually caused by being outside without a jacket on rather than a viral illness. Treatable by warm soup, fresh country air, card from grandma.
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Apr 21, 2016 00:51
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Choco1980 posted:1414 Filmic adherence When in contact with any surface that has been coated, whether by a thin film of water, oil, paint, Armor All, &c., the film slowly multiplies and attempts to envelop you. It suggest strongly you remove the rubber piss protector from under your bedsheet. I assume you are already completely "diligent" toward preventing other nocturnal emissions.
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Apr 21, 2016 00:54
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Isaac posted:151 Sheep-Goats posted:The Skrits Dreddout posted:1337 Sheep-Goats posted:You retain a kind of fluid that ants desire with all of their being and your also make these shrill burps that alert ants to your location raton fucked around with this message at 01:12 on Apr 21, 2016 |
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Apr 21, 2016 00:57
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Takane posted:321311 Banshee's Transference Any music with lyrics (including Peter Framptonesq guitar voices) have those lyrics replaced with the wail of the banshee, a sound beyond horrifying, yet also compelling. You frequently end up listening to The End by the The Doors like twelve times in a row but instead of Morrison rambling on about babby's first Oedipus it's just howls
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Apr 21, 2016 01:02
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cyberia posted:6121 A grey witch has used a kind of astral acid on the parts of your brain that prevent you from confessing dark desires to friends, family, and colleagues. Fortunately this does not apply to social media so you are safe, for now.
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Apr 21, 2016 01:04
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Professor Shark posted:65478 Wrack Spiders have cocooned you into their web, the parts of you that matter in any case. Healers may try to reach you in the form of aggressive fratbros in bars, enraged policemen, or the fathers of daughters whose honor you have insulted. It is in your best interest to egg them on whenever possible so that they may help shift you back into your real body, which may give you the strength to escape the spider's silks. There's a footnote that says this entry may have been placed into the book by a less-than-clever prankster imp, but that it may also be legitimate. If you believe you have been cocooned by Wrack Spiders it has an email address you can use to enroll in a study.
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Apr 21, 2016 01:08
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Hate Fibration posted:72211 Pannic Tubers You have a variety of root vegetables growing under your panniculus, the removal of any of which makes you somewhat sad.
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Apr 21, 2016 01:11
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Microwaves Mom posted:798000 Sheep-Goats posted:"Like an interdimensional Jew the Grœnal appears to you whenever seated at a work table demanding you pay down at least on the interest of your original sin, waving a thin silver hypodermic needle about"
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Apr 21, 2016 01:12
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Hate Fibration posted:72211 The Goblin's Sock One of your feet has an incredible stench to it. The entry suggests that this actually may be due to wearing a goblin's sock at some point in your life, so the name is actually very accurate! No known cure.
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Apr 21, 2016 01:15
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Table of conversions between standard, metric, New Sooth, frengit.
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Apr 21, 2016 01:16
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SciFiDownBeat posted:rolling 571 Peat curse Any attempt to garden on your behalf results in a peat bog. Your pits smell like scotch also it looks like
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Apr 21, 2016 03:02
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Polyantidotcia It just means you have a tremendous amount of generally redundant poison antidotes lying around your house, making record keeping and further administration of antidotes by the gnomes inefficient and complicated
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Apr 21, 2016 03:05
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Gloufer's fungal resemblant blight The rot spreads from body part to body part in order of what most resembles a mushroom to what least resembles a mushroom. This is one of a handful of curses apparently where a bowl cut has a negative effect on patient outcomes
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Apr 21, 2016 03:09
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Dreddout posted:WHERE'S MY GODDAMN OCCULT AFFLICTION MOTHER FUCKER!? U done been told twice already idgit
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Apr 21, 2016 03:11
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That Robot posted:do 123456 Colostomal transference A prankster spirit who worked for a time as a GI specialist has set up a manikin of you somewhere, the resultant effect being that should you ever have a medical procedure that results in you getting a colostomy bag you will be immediately transported inside of said colostomy bag where your poo poo will flow back into you through a stoma on your face
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Apr 21, 2016 03:17
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Vastarien posted:1488 Fright Wobbles Any fear or terror in you causes noticeable ripples to extend from you outward. The uninitiated assume these are stink lines. There are, however, an incredibly malicious variety of demons that will hone in on you as these ripples act as a beacon to them -- they carry bronze knives and will harry you though the streets slicing off small bits of flesh with each pass. They also tend to emit a foul odor and are invisible to passersby. raton fucked around with this message at 03:21 on Apr 21, 2016 |
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Apr 21, 2016 03:18
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Ferretten posted:okay 210985 Halo of the Heartland Balladeer Something about you causes the expectation of a performance of a heartfelt rustic song whenever you enter a space with new people in it. Expect to have acoustic guitars and harmonicas pressed upon you frequently. It's recommended you avoid larger venues as some are particularly drawn in by this effect and their sense of betrayal could turn violent should you refuse them even one loving encore, they paid fifty goddamn dollars for these tickets, they've been fans for twenty fucken years man.
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Apr 21, 2016 03:24
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