NHL Playoff Charity Toxx Thread

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > NHL Playoff Charity Toxx Thread

Cocaine Bear: Nov 4, 2011; ACAB

Playoffs are back, baby! Time to make stupid bets and help out some worthy causes while yelling at the TV. You should all know the drill by now: ~~get drunk,~~ make a toxx, pick a charity, watch hockey.

I'll get the ball rolling with a couple that have already been posted elsewhere already.

Number19 posted:

I�ll donate $10 per VGK playoff win to the Greater Vancouver Food Bank or $50, whichever is the higher amount.

Proof will be posted in the off-season thread whenever the VGK get there

That's a good toxx, plain and simple.

Rotten Cookies posted:

Giving to charity as a toxx is a great idea, I'll do something like that. How about a donation bet? Let's say the Isles play the Pens, since that looks likely. For every playoff game win, I'd donate $10 to a Pittsburgh charity, say the Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank. For every playoff game the Isles lose, I'd donate $5 to the same spot. If any Pens poster wanted to take up that donation bet, it would likewise be $10 for every Pens playoff win, $5 for every playoff loss to, say, Island Harvest.

But, y'know, teams and charities would be TBD.

PAS, get in on this one while it's hot!

And my own:

JoelJoel posted:

I will give $25 to MSF/Doctors Without Borders for every Win the Dallas Stars manage and an additional $2 for every point my sweet son Alexander Radulov score with a minimum of $200 should the Stars fail to upset the filthy Jets.

I challenge a Jets poster to match my bet but with known wimp Blake Wheeler.

So have at it, make the bets interesting, and give some money to charity, ya bunch of drunk!

_{(and with their permission, I'm deputizing Hand Knit and iospace to ban any filth that fails to follow through and just generally harass the mob)}

Total Payout To Charity:
25.75 (Pornographic Memory)
42.00 (Rotten Cookies)
20.60 (Mamma Lucia)
33.01 (CBJSprague24)
200.00 (Gerblederp)
25.00 (aejix)
100.00 (Vintersorg)
25.00 (iospace)
30.00 (Hypnobeard)
40.00 (Mind_Taker)
20.00 (glynnenstein)
20.00 (Rotten Cookies)
50.00 (Number19)
7.45 (Stiev Awt)
30.00 (FrenzyTheKillbot)
30.00 (Hypnobeard)

Total Raised: $1,053.81

Cocaine Bear fucked around with this message at 14:04 on Jul 11, 2019

# ? Apr 1, 2019 18:04

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 29, 2024 06:57

Cocaine Bear: Nov 4, 2011; ACAB

e: and a reminder, no toxxing to kill yourself. Anyone see whatis lately?

Some good causes:

Medecins Sans Frontieres/Doctors Without Borders (https://www.doctorswithoutborders.ca/donate-now)
Montreal - Dans La Rue (https://danslarue.org/en/)
Boston - 826 Boston (https://www.826boston.org/)
Calgary - The Alex Health Centre (https://www.thealex.ca/)
Toronto - Eva's Youth Homless Shelter https://www.evas.ca/

TOXXs so far:

Number19 posted:

quote:

I�ll donate $10 per VGK playoff win to the Greater Vancouver Food Bank or $50, whichever is the higher amount.

Proof will be posted in the off-season thread whenever the VGK get there

A+ Toxx

quote:
Rotten Cookies posted:
Giving to charity as a toxx is a great idea, I'll do something like that. How about a donation bet? Let's say the Isles play the Pens, since that looks likely. For every playoff game win, I'd donate $10 to a Pittsburgh charity, say the Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank. For every playoff game the Isles lose, I'd donate $5 to the same spot. If any Pens poster wanted to take up that donation bet, it would likewise be $10 for every Pens playoff win, $5 for every playoff loss to, say, Island Harvest.

But, y'know, teams and charities would be TBD.

and
quote:
Rotten Cookies posted:
Another category: SHAMEFUL SIDE BETS.

Additional $5 for every goal scored on you by loving Cal Clutterbuck. Yes, it's unlikely to happen, but if it does holy poo poo you'll be drinking enough to not remember donating that five bucks. I guess if it was the Pens it'd be like, I don't fuckin' know, Matt Cullen? (Again, assuming Isles play the Pens)

A+ Toxxs

quote:
JoelJoel posted:
I will give $25 to MSF/Doctors Without Borders for every Win the Dallas Stars manage and an additional $2 for every point my sweet son Alexander Radulov scores with a minimum of $200 should the Stars fail to upset the filthy Jets.

I challenge a Jets poster to match my bet but with known wimp Blake Wheeler.

quote:
Gerblederp posted:
Done (accepting the above Toxx conditions but for the Jets and Wheeler)

I�d just waste the money anyway

A+ Challenge Accepted Toxx

quote:

CBJSprague24 posted:
If John Tortorella's Columbus Blue Jackets secure the first playoff series win in franchise history, I will buy one of ^those^ shirts, as the $29 directly benefits The Tortorella Family Foundation and helps doggies in Ohio.

(Conditions: If the shirt is no longer available (e- in my sizes (L or XL)) at the time of a series win, I reserve the right to make a donation of equal value to the Tortorella Foundation or a similar Central Ohio animal charity of my choosing.)

Also, I may buy the shirt anyway even if it looks like they're going to be bounced, but that would carry no bearing on the Toxx.

A+ Doggo Toxx

quote:

Mind_Taker posted:
I will donate $40 to charity in the following way:

If the Capitals win the Stanley Cup (they will), I will choose a charity to donate all $40 to.
If the Capitals lose in the SCF (they won't), I will donate $30 to a charity of my choosing and $10 to a charity an SAS fan of the team they lose to chooses.
If the Capitals lose in the ECF (they won't), I will donate $20 to a charity of my choosing and $20 to a charity an SAS fan of the team they lose to chooses.
If the Capitals lose in the second round (they won't), I will donate $10 to a charity of my choosing and $30 to a charity an SAS fan of the team they lose to chooses.
If the Capitals lose in the first round (they won't), I will donate all $40 to a charity an SAS fan of the team they lose to chooses.

The only restriction is that I will not donate to anything that is a remotely regressive or lovely organization. So no, you cannot be an edgelord and pick the NRA or an anti-choice organization or whatever.

A+ Toxx

quote:

Stiev Awt posted:
Montreal - Dans La Rue (https://danslarue.org/en/)
Boston - 826 Boston (https://www.826boston.org/)
Calgary - The Alex Health Centre (https://www.thealex.ca/)

I'm broke, so I can't promise much. But, if the Montreal Canadiens make the playoffs, I will donate $10 to Dans La Rue. If the Boston Bruins beat the Leafs again, I will donate $10 to 826 Boston as well.

quote:

JoelJoel posted:
These are great! Thanks! As a sign of my gratitude, I'll match whatever you end up paying out. ($7.45)

A+ Causes and A+ Toxx

quote:

Grraarrgghh posted:
30$ for every series win Calgary gets will be donated to Brown Baggin 4 Kids Calgary.

50$ for a series loss.

A+ Toxx

quote:

Pornographic Memory posted:
I'll take up these bets, and to me those charities sound good (well, I don't know much about Long Island charities, so I'm taking your word for it).

Also, I'll double the amount for the game if it's decided by a shutout or in OT. I figure with the way the Islanders have played (and Barry Trotz vs the Penguins in general) these games will be pretty tight.

So my toxx bet officially stands at:

For every Penguins win, I'll donate $10 to Island Harvest
For every Penguins loss, I'll donate $5 to Island Harvest.
I'll also double the amount for the game if it goes to OT or is a shutout (e.g. if the Penguins are shut out for a game I'll donate $10 instead of $5, and if they win a game in OT I'll make it $20 instead of $10).

If Cal Clutterbuck scores a goal, I'll add another $5 going to Island Harvest

I'll pay up and post my receipts at the end of the round.

A+ Toxx

quote:

Rotten Cookies posted:
If these sound good to you, then I to this bet.

For every Isles win, $10 to the Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank
For every Isles loss, $5 to the GPCFB.

For my terms, I'll add $2 to any game per period of OT.

If Matt Cullen scores a goal, that's $5 to the GPCFB

A+Toxx right there

quote:

aejix posted:
First round charity toxx will be on Bruins vs Leafs. If Bruins win series, $25 goes to a Toronto animal shelter (if anyone Tronna goons can recommend one over the others please post otherwise I will just pick one at random). If leafs win, $25 to Boston animal shelter.

Side bets: $5 additional for every time Brad Marchand gets punched in his loving stupid face, or he lowbridges or otherwise cheap shots a Toronto player who doesn't return that game

A+ Toxx

quote:

B Squad Leader posted:
Good guy Isles captain Anders Lee represents a KanJam cancer charity called Jam Kancer in the Kan.
$20 for every Islanders playoff series win. Bump that up to an even $100 for a Cup win. Yes yes yes!

A+ Toxx

quote:

FrenzyTheKillbot posted:
So a little story time. You may not know this, but last offseason the Toronto Maple Leafs signed John Tavares out of free agency. It was the greatest thing ever and for the first time I can remember (and possibly in my whole life) the Leafs were the Vegas odds favourites to win the Cup. It so happened that my parents were going to Vegas shortly after, so I go them to put a bet down for me:

If the Leafs get beaten by the Bruins in the first round (ie. make no progress from last year), I will blend that bet slip into a smoothie and drink it. And also donate $30 to:

A+++ Toxx. Not enough goons here eating things that aren't food because of a sport thing. Excellent work.

quote:

iospace posted:
Toxx time!

I will buy the shirtsey of the player who scores the game winning goal of the last series the Preds win. Exempt: Watson (gently caress him), Subban (own one already). If the Preds lose in round 1, I will buy Forsberg's.

For every round won by the Preds, I will donate 25 dollars to PK's charity. https://fondationduchildren.com/en/...-helping-hand-5 The minimum will be 25 dollars for qualifying for the playoffs (so min 25, max 125).

A+ Mod Toxx

quote:

tofes posted:
I will donate

$10 for every Sharks win
$20 for every Sharks shutout
$50 for every goal Haley scores
$100 for Jumbo scoring 4 goals in a game

Probably to one of my local animal rescue charities, I'll decide when the Sharks' playoffs are over

S+ Toxx

quote:

glynnenstein posted:
If the Hurricanes eliminate the Capitals, I will donate $25 to North Carolina Coastal Federation, because I just assume all the shores of all the world's oceans are still damaged from the Caps' celebration last summer.

If good boy Tom Wilson is suspended at any point for any reason during the series with the Hurricanes, I will donate $50 to Alliance for Justice, and hopefully they can sort out and rectify what must certainly be an injustice.

A+ Toxx

quote:

Rotten Cookies posted:
If the Bruins take the series against the Leafs, $20 to...

A+ Toxx

quote:

Ginger Beer Belly posted:
I'll keep mine simple. I'll donate $5 ($10 if my employer match works) for every goal Colorado scores through the playoffs to Orchard Place, a Des Moines children's mental health charity.

A+ Toxx (MacKinnon gonna make u poor)

quote:

Hypnobeard posted:
I'll donate $5 per playoff win by the repeating Stanley Cup champion Washington Capitals to the Nationl Suicide Prevention Lifeline. When they win, I'll double my final donation amount.

Should the NHL conspire to cheat the Capitals out of their rightful victory, I'll donate a matching amount to the charity of choice for a SAS fan of the "winning" team. (I'm also not interested in donating to chud causes so if something like that is picked I'll pick something off JoelJoel's list instead.)

A+ Toxx

quote:

Mamma Lucia posted:
I'll give 20 bucks to a long island/new york charity of IAS's choosing if the Pens are swept by the Islanders.

A+ Toxx!

quote:

Rotten Cookies posted:
For the next round, ISLES VS HURRICANES, I'm going thematic. You know what island got ravaged by a hurricane and received shamefully little aide? Puerto Rico. Yeah, I'm talking about that hurricane that was "a while ago" because residents are STILL hurting. $10 for every Isles loss, $20 for every Isles win, plus $5 for every overtime period in the series.

I will be donating this to All Hands And Hearts, which is still engaging in ongoing efforts to help restore the damage done by hurricanes Maria and Irma, specifically to infrastructure. Unless someone can provide me with a better charity.

I urge you all to take up a similar bet for an ~Unprecedented Playoff Series~ or otherwise you can throw some loving paper towels or some bullshit I guess.

A+ Round 2 Toxx

...more to come!

Cocaine Bear fucked around with this message at 14:15 on Jul 11, 2019

# ? Apr 1, 2019 18:05

Rotten Cookies: Nov 11, 2008; gosh! i like both the islanders and the rangers!!! :^)

Another category: SHAMEFUL SIDE BETS.

Additional $5 for every goal scored on you by loving Cal Clutterbuck. Yes, it's unlikely to happen, but if it does holy poo poo you'll be drinking enough to not remember donating that five bucks. I guess if it was the Pens it'd be like, I don't fuckin' know, Matt Cullen? (Again, assuming Isles play the Pens)

# ? Apr 1, 2019 18:20

Number19: May 14, 2003; HOCKEY OWNS
FUCK YEAH

I'm going to update my toxx so that I will post the proof here instead. Can you please update the OP to reflect that change?

# ? Apr 1, 2019 18:25

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Rotten Cookies posted:

I guess if it was the Pens it'd be like, I don't fuckin' know, Matt Cullen? (Again, assuming Isles play the Pens)

JMFJ.

# ? Apr 1, 2019 18:35

Rotten Cookies: Nov 11, 2008; gosh! i like both the islanders and the rangers!!! :^)

CBJSprague24 posted:

JMFJ.

That would be loving shameful. I'd let the opposing fan choose their champion in this shame war. I went with Cullen because he had the closest numbers to Clutterbuck on a quick glance.

# ? Apr 1, 2019 18:46

Scaramouche: Mar 26, 2001; SPACE FACE! SPACE FACE!

I'm not in a position to do it (and don't have skin in the game lol Canucks) but maybe consider lowtax spine fund as one the recipients?

# ? Apr 1, 2019 18:47

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

I like doggies. You should also like doggies. You know who else likes doggies?

GOOD TIMES ON METH posted:

On the subject of Torts, he loves animals (perhaps because he hates people?) and is selling this t-shirt to raise money for his rescue

https://whereimfrom.com/product/hockey-hounds/

I ordered one for my wife and she says it isn't cheap garbage like lots of charity shirts

If John Tortorella's Columbus Blue Jackets secure the first playoff series win in franchise history, I will buy one of ^those^ shirts, as the $29 directly benefits The Tortorella Family Foundation and helps doggies in Ohio. :toxx:

(Conditions: If the shirt is no longer available (e- in my sizes (L or XL)) at the time of a series win, I reserve the right to make a donation of equal value to the Tortorella Foundation or a similar Central Ohio animal charity of my choosing.)

Also, I may buy the shirt anyway even if it looks like they're going to be bounced, but that would carry no bearing on the Toxx.

CBJSprague24 fucked around with this message at 19:05 on Apr 1, 2019

# ? Apr 1, 2019 18:51

Cocaine Bear: Nov 4, 2011; ACAB

Number19 posted:

I'm going to update my toxx so that I will post the proof here instead. Can you please update the OP to reflect that change?

That I can. I'm going to use the first post to keep track of all the action and cross them out once proof has been presented.

Still a bit early, but once the matchups are set, I challenge you goons to call out fans to make side bets. I'd also love to see some playoff bingo cards made up so the lazy and ill-informed playoff posters can easily join in on the action.

Now go out and get creative!

# ? Apr 1, 2019 19:10

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

JoelJoel posted:

That I can. I'm going to use the first post to keep track of all the action and cross them out once proof has been presented.

Still a bit early, but once the matchups are set, I challenge you goons to call out fans to make side bets. I'd also love to see some playoff bingo cards made up so the lazy and ill-informed playoff posters can easily join in on the action.

Now go out and get creative!

What are you looking for in terms of bingo cards? Individual team ones? Conferences?

# ? Apr 1, 2019 20:13

Mind_Taker: May 7, 2007

I will donate $40 to charity in the following way:

If the Capitals win the Stanley Cup (they will), I will choose a charity to donate all $40 to.
If the Capitals lose in the SCF (they won't), I will donate $30 to a charity of my choosing and $10 to a charity an SAS fan of the team they lose to chooses.
If the Capitals lose in the ECF (they won't), I will donate $20 to a charity of my choosing and $20 to a charity an SAS fan of the team they lose to chooses.
If the Capitals lose in the second round (they won't), I will donate $10 to a charity of my choosing and $30 to a charity an SAS fan of the team they lose to chooses.
If the Capitals lose in the first round (they won't), I will donate all $40 to a charity an SAS fan of the team they lose to chooses.

The only restriction is that I will not donate to anything that is a remotely regressive or lovely organization. So no, you cannot be an edgelord and pick the NRA or an anti-choice organization or whatever.

:toxx:

# ? Apr 1, 2019 20:37

Cocaine Bear: Nov 4, 2011; ACAB

^^^ - Depending on the team, I can find a local youth homeless shelter or food bank in the winning city. If anyone wants a list of good causes I can put something together.

CBJSprague24 posted:

What are you looking for in terms of bingo cards? Individual team ones? Conferences?

Team specific ones are cool but I was thinking of a generic one that anyone can bet on. Slots for multiple OT, suspensions, fights, hat tricks, etc. Maybe split up by conference. I'll give it some thought when I'm off tonight. If anyone has some ideas I can shop them together.

Cocaine Bear fucked around with this message at 21:01 on Apr 1, 2019

# ? Apr 1, 2019 20:57

Stiev Awt: Mar 20, 2007

JoelJoel posted:

^^^ - Depending on the team, I can find a local youth homeless shelter or food bank in the winning city. If anyone wants a list of good causes I can put something together.

Montreal - Dans La Rue (https://danslarue.org/en/)
Boston - 826 Boston (https://www.826boston.org/)
Calgary - The Alex Health Centre (https://www.thealex.ca/)

I'm broke, so I can't promise much. But, if the Montreal Canadiens make the playoffs, I will donate $10 to Dans La Rue. If the Boston Bruins beat the Leafs again, I will donate $10 to 826 Boston as well.

# ? Apr 1, 2019 22:14

Hypnobeard: Sep 15, 2004; Obey the Beard

I'll donate $5 per playoff win by the repeating Stanley Cup champion Washington Capitals to the Nationl Suicide Prevention Lifeline. When they win, I'll double my final donation amount.

Should the NHL conspire to cheat the Capitals out of their rightful victory, I'll donate a matching amount to the charity of choice for a SAS fan of the "winning" team. (I'm also not interested in donating to chud causes so if something like that is picked I'll pick something off JoelJoel's list instead.)

:toxx:

Hypnobeard fucked around with this message at 03:38 on Apr 8, 2019

# ? Apr 1, 2019 23:17

Cocaine Bear: Nov 4, 2011; ACAB

Stiev Awt posted:

Montreal - Dans La Rue (https://danslarue.org/en/)
Boston - 826 Boston (https://www.826boston.org/)
Calgary - The Alex Health Centre (https://www.thealex.ca/)

I'm broke, so I can't promise much. But, if the Montreal Canadiens make the playoffs, I will donate $10 to Dans La Rue. If the Boston Bruins beat the Leafs again, I will donate $10 to 826 Boston as well.

These are great! Thanks! As a sign of my gratitude, I'll match whatever you end up paying out.

# ? Apr 1, 2019 23:22

Gerblederp: Dec 4, 2009

JoelJoel posted:

And my own:

I challenge a Jets poster to match my bet but with known wimp Blake Wheeler.

Done

I�d just waste the money anyway

# ? Apr 1, 2019 23:32

Grraarrgghh: Feb 12, 2012; "Bernard, float over here so I can punch you."

30$ for every series win Calgary gets will be donated to Brown Baggin 4 Kids Calgary.

50$ for a series loss.

# ? Apr 2, 2019 06:06

Pornographic Memory: Dec 17, 2008

quote:

Rotten Cookies posted:
Giving to charity as a toxx is a great idea, I'll do something like that. How about a donation bet? Let's say the Isles play the Pens, since that looks likely. For every playoff game win, I'd donate $10 to a Pittsburgh charity, say the Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank. For every playoff game the Isles lose, I'd donate $5 to the same spot. If any Pens poster wanted to take up that donation bet, it would likewise be $10 for every Pens playoff win, $5 for every playoff loss to, say, Island Harvest.

But, y'know, teams and charities would be TBD.

Rotten Cookies posted:

Another category: SHAMEFUL SIDE BETS.

Additional $5 for every goal scored on you by loving Cal Clutterbuck. Yes, it's unlikely to happen, but if it does holy poo poo you'll be drinking enough to not remember donating that five bucks. I guess if it was the Pens it'd be like, I don't fuckin' know, Matt Cullen? (Again, assuming Isles play the Pens)

I'll take up these bets, and to me those charities sound good (well, I don't know much about Long Island charities, so I'm taking your word for it).

Also, I'll double the amount for the game if it's decided by a shutout or in OT. I figure with the way the Islanders have played (and Barry Trotz vs the Penguins in general) these games will be pretty tight.

So my toxx bet officially stands at:

For every Penguins win, I'll donate $10 to Island Harvest
For every Penguins loss, I'll donate $5 to Island Harvest.
I'll also double the amount for the game if it goes to OT or is a shutout (e.g. if the Penguins are shut out for a game I'll donate $10 instead of $5, and if they win a game in OT I'll make it $20 instead of $10).

If Cal Clutterbuck scores a goal, I'll add another $5 going to Island Harvest

I'll pay up and post my receipts at the end of the round.

:toxx:

Pornographic Memory fucked around with this message at 19:42 on Apr 7, 2019

# ? Apr 7, 2019 15:47

Rotten Cookies: Nov 11, 2008; gosh! i like both the islanders and the rangers!!! :^)

Pornographic Memory posted:

I'll take up these bets, and to me those charities sound good (well, I don't know much about Long Island charities, so I'm taking your word for it).

Also, I'll double the amount for the game if it's decided by a shutout or in OT. I figure with the way the Islanders have played (and Barry Trotz vs the Penguins in general) these games will be pretty tight.

I'll pay up and post my receipts at the end of the round.

You're good with Clutterbuck/Cullen being the shame players?

Also Island Harvest is a great food bank where they actually use the money for, y'know, food bank stuff instead of administrative bloat. I tried looking for a similar charity and Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank was viewed very favorably.

If these sound good to you, then I :toxx:

to this bet.

For every Isles win, $10 to the Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank
For every Isles loss, $5 to the GPCFB.

For my terms, I'll add $2 to any game per period of OT.

If Matt Cullen scores a goal, that's $5 to the GPCFB

# ? Apr 7, 2019 16:20

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

JoelJoel posted:

^^^ - Depending on the team, I can find a local youth homeless shelter or food bank in the winning city. If anyone wants a list of good causes I can put something together.

Team specific ones are cool but I was thinking of a generic one that anyone can bet on. Slots for multiple OT, suspensions, fights, hat tricks, etc. Maybe split up by conference. I'll give it some thought when I'm off tonight. If anyone has some ideas I can shop them together.

CBJ:
-Riley Nash Does A Thing (scores a goal, which he did exactly 3 times this season).
-Alexandre Texier scores a goal.
- :cop:

allows <3 goals.
- :cop:

shutout.
-ANGRY TORTS
-CBJ win a game/multiple games/the series.

# ? Apr 7, 2019 19:30

Pornographic Memory: Dec 17, 2008

Rotten Cookies posted:

You're good with Clutterbuck/Cullen being the shame players?

Also Island Harvest is a great food bank where they actually use the money for, y'know, food bank stuff instead of administrative bloat. I tried looking for a similar charity and Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank was viewed very favorably.

If these sound good to you, then I to this bet.

For every Isles win, $10 to the Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank
For every Isles loss, $5 to the GPCFB.

For my terms, I'll add $2 to any game per period of OT.

If Matt Cullen scores a goal, that's $5 to the GPCFB

The really shameful players for the Pens play on defense *coughJackJohnsoncough* and are even less likely to score than Clutterbuck so Cullen's probably the fairest comparable. There's only one other shameful forward for the Penguins I can think of and I mean, does anybody know who Garret Wilson even is? I'm not sure even Penguins fans do.

# ? Apr 7, 2019 19:33

aejix: Sep 18, 2007; It's about finding that next group of core players we can win with in the next 6, 8, 10 years. Let's face it, it's hard for 20-, 21-, 22-year-olds to lead an NHL team. Look at the playoffs.

That quote is from fucking 2018. Fuck you Jim; Pillbug

First round charity toxx will be on Bruins vs Leafs. If Bruins win series, $25 goes to a Toronto animal shelter (if anyone Tronna goons can recommend one over the others please post otherwise I will just pick one at random). If leafs win, $25 to Boston animal shelter.

Side bets: $5 additional for every time Brad Marchand gets punched in his loving stupid face, or he lowbridges or otherwise cheap shots a Toronto player who doesn't return that game

# ? Apr 8, 2019 00:05

B Squad Leader: Nov 1, 2009

Good guy Isles captain Anders Lee represents a KanJam cancer charity called Jam Kancer in the Kan.
:toxx:

$20 for every Islanders playoff series win. Bump that up to an even $100 for a Cup win. Yes yes yes!

# ? Apr 8, 2019 01:18

FrenzyTheKillbot: Jan 31, 2008; Good Hustle

So a little story time. You may not know this, but last offseason the Toronto Maple Leafs signed John Tavares out of free agency. It was the greatest thing ever and for the first time I can remember (and possibly in my whole life) the Leafs were the Vegas odds favourites to win the Cup. It so happened that my parents were going to Vegas shortly after, so I go them to put a bet down for me:

If the Leafs get beaten by the Bruins in the first round (ie. make no progress from last year), I will blend that bet slip into a smoothie and drink it. And also donate $30 to:

Stiev Awt posted:

Boston - 826 Boston (https://www.826boston.org/)

# ? Apr 9, 2019 03:38

iospace: Jan 19, 2038

Toxx time!

I will buy the shirtsey of the player who scores the game winning goal of the last series the Preds win. Exempt: Watson (gently caress him), Subban (own one already). If the Preds lose in round 1, I will buy Forsberg's.

For every round won by the Preds, I will donate 25 dollars to PK's charity. https://fondationduchildren.com/en/fundraising/coup-main-helping-hand-5 The minimum will be 25 dollars for qualifying for the playoffs (so min 25, max 125).

# ? Apr 9, 2019 05:08

Cocaine Bear: Nov 4, 2011; ACAB

FrenzyTheKillbot posted:

So a little story time. You may not know this, but last offseason the Toronto Maple Leafs signed John Tavares out of free agency. It was the greatest thing ever and for the first time I can remember (and possibly in my whole life) the Leafs were the Vegas odds favourites to win the Cup. It so happened that my parents were going to Vegas shortly after, so I go them to put a bet down for me:

If the Leafs get beaten by the Bruins in the first round (ie. make no progress from last year), I will blend that bet slip into a smoothie and drink it. And also donate $30 to:

lol, that's a good one. Do more like this, SAS.

So far we're at about 15 Toxxs and up to a few grand in pledged money. Great work so far! If you don't see your own toxx in the second post, let me know and I'll add it. When you've completed your TOXX, post proof here and I'll strike it out to keep track.

# ? Apr 9, 2019 14:42

StupidSexyMothman: Aug 9, 2010

$10 per game suspension during the entirety of the playoffs to MSF; capped at $250 in case McSorley puts on the skates one last time

# ? Apr 9, 2019 19:37

tofes: Mar 31, 2011; #1 Milpitas Dave and Buster's superfan since 2013

I will donate

$10 for every Sharks win
$20 for every Sharks shutout
$50 for every goal Haley scores
$100 for Jumbo scoring 4 goals in a game

Probably to one of my local animal rescue charities, I'll decide when the Sharks' playoffs are over

# ? Apr 9, 2019 20:15

Rotten Cookies: Nov 11, 2008; gosh! i like both the islanders and the rangers!!! :^)

If the Bruins take the series against the Leafs, $20 to...

# ? Apr 9, 2019 21:21

glynnenstein: Feb 18, 2014

If the Hurricanes eliminate the Capitals, I will donate $25 to North Carolina Coastal Federation, because I just assume all the shores of all the world's oceans are still damaged from the Caps' celebration last summer.

:toxx:

If good boy Tom Wilson is suspended at any point for any reason during the series with the Hurricanes, I will donate $50 to Alliance for Justice, and hopefully they can sort out and rectify what must certainly be an injustice.

# ? Apr 10, 2019 13:00

Ginger Beer Belly: Aug 18, 2010; Grimey Drawer

I'll keep mine simple. I'll donate $5 ($10 if my employer match works) for every goal Colorado scores through the playoffs to Orchard Place, a Des Moines children's mental health charity.

# ? Apr 10, 2019 14:58

Hypnobeard: Sep 15, 2004; Obey the Beard

JoelJoel posted:

lol, that's a good one. Do more like this, SAS.

So far we're at about 15 Toxxs and up to a few grand in pledged money. Great work so far! If you don't see your own toxx in the second post, let me know and I'll add it. When you've completed your TOXX, post proof here and I'll strike it out to keep track.

Don't see mine. It's not really thrilling though so I can see why you left it out.

# ? Apr 10, 2019 15:08

Vintersorg: Mar 3, 2004; President of
the Brendan Fraser
Fan Club

If Jets make it to the finals I will donate $150 to my local humane society.

If they win I will donate $200.

I will at a minimum donate $100 once they are booted out.

:toxx:

https://www.winnipeghumanesociety.ca/ways-to-help/donate/

# ? Apr 10, 2019 21:57

Ergo Propter Hog: Jul 21, 2014

I'll give 20 bucks to a long island/new york charity of IAS's choosing if the Pens are swept by the Islanders. :toxx:

# ? Apr 16, 2019 18:58

Cocaine Bear: Nov 4, 2011; ACAB

Hypnobeard posted:

Don't see mine. It's not really thrilling though so I can see why you left it out.

Sorry, been busy with work. I'll update later today.

# ? Apr 16, 2019 19:03

Pornographic Memory: Dec 17, 2008

that was cheaper than i expected

# ? Apr 17, 2019 03:21

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

THE COLUMBUS BLUE JACKETS HAVE WON ~~THE STANLEY CUP~~ A PLAYOFF SERIES AND SWEPT THE GODDAMN LIGHTNING TO DO IT. :psyboom:

CBJSprague24 posted:

If John Tortorella's Columbus Blue Jackets secure the first playoff series win in franchise history, I will buy one of ^those^ shirts, as the $29 directly benefits The Tortorella Family Foundation and helps doggies in Ohio.

(Conditions: If the shirt is no longer available (e- in my sizes (L or XL)) at the time of a series win, I reserve the right to make a donation of equal value to the Tortorella Foundation or a similar Central Ohio animal charity of my choosing.)

Also, I may buy the shirt anyway even if it looks like they're going to be bounced, but that would carry no bearing on the Toxx.

The shirts are sold out in L and XL, as I'd feared, but I also was figuring that a CBJ series win would take 6 or 7 because :laffo:

if Columbus bounces Tampa in anything short of that.

I'm going to see if I can make a M or 2X work. Failing that, the conditions take effect and I decide if it's going to Torts or a local shelter, as the the former is hockey-appropriate but the latter feels like it might be a better donation. I'll provide an update soon.

e- "I decide", not "decide".

e2- This is the shirt: https://whereimfrom.com/product/hockey-hounds/ and I may see if they're going to print more because I do want one.

CBJSprague24 fucked around with this message at 03:38 on Apr 17, 2019

# ? Apr 17, 2019 03:23

Rotten Cookies: Nov 11, 2008; gosh! i like both the islanders and the rangers!!! :^)

# ? Apr 18, 2019 01:22

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

quote:

Anthony Rothman
‏ @AnthonyRothman
4h4 hours ago
Replying to @CBJSprague24

Thanks so much for reaching out ! I'm in touch with @WhereImFrom and should be avail soon. #HockeyAndHounds

Gonna leave my Toxx open-ended for now as the radio host who teamed up with Torts for the Hockey & Hounds t-shirts is going to be ordering additional shirts.

Rotten Cookies posted:

The In Memory Of. I'm dead.

CBJSprague24 fucked around with this message at 03:09 on Apr 18, 2019

# ? Apr 18, 2019 03:06

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 06:57

Rotten Cookies: Nov 11, 2008; gosh! i like both the islanders and the rangers!!! :^)

CBJSprague24 posted:

The In Memory Of. I'm dead.

I couldn't resist

# ? Apr 18, 2019 14:53

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > NHL Playoff Charity Toxx Thread

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