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people at work won't use things like skype, which works well, instead of our weird video conferencing software, which barely works, since it isn't "enterprise grade". same with instant messaging. what's going on? e: link to the good posts https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3887797&pagenumber=10#post495284096 Somebody fucked around with this message at 01:56 on May 22, 2019 |
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Apr 23, 2019 09:58
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enterprise afaik means two things: * controllable from a central location, aka your local janitorial department * ten times the price of other solutions
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Apr 23, 2019 10:05
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working in an office is supposed to be a miserable experience enterprise grade software ensures that it is
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Apr 23, 2019 10:32
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r u ready to WALK posted:working in an office is supposed to be a miserable experience our chinese office have rebelled and do everything on wechat or whatever now
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Apr 23, 2019 11:00
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if you add “for business” to Skype it becomes enterprise grade and worse
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Apr 23, 2019 12:27
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r u ready to WALK posted:working in an office is supposed to be a miserable experience
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Apr 23, 2019 13:14
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enterprise grade means it's maintained by a smaller team, but they will bend over backwards to do what you want if you have the right service agreement 💵💵
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Apr 23, 2019 13:52
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op it means you suspiciously can't find any info on their website, but they will send a rep out and he'll say it does basically whatever you want
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Apr 23, 2019 13:53
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Boiled Water posted:enterprise afaik means two things:
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Apr 23, 2019 14:26
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Silver Alicorn posted:enterprise grade means it's maintained by a smaller team, but they will bend over backwards to do what you want if you have the right service agreement
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Apr 23, 2019 14:47
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Silver Alicorn posted:enterprise grade means it's maintained by a smaller team, but they will bend over backwards to do what you want if you have the right service agreement 💵💵 this is what they tell my boss but when i make tickets they tell me it will be fixed in next years release which i am fairly certain is a polite way of saying get hosed
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Apr 23, 2019 15:13
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it means they have a team dedicated to tricking non tech ceos into buying it
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Apr 23, 2019 15:15
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzUX_1jaO_I
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Apr 23, 2019 15:36
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it means there's an enormous services contract attached and you can open a ticket with the vendor so they don't do anything
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Apr 23, 2019 15:58
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r u ready to WALK posted:working in an office is supposed to be a miserable experience
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Apr 23, 2019 16:22
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r u ready to WALK posted:working in an office is supposed to be a miserable experience Vomik posted:if you add “for business” to Skype it becomes enterprise grade and worse
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Apr 23, 2019 16:54
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For like 10 years there were a lot of people who did a real good job of putting the words "java" and "enterprise" really close together a lot of the time and my wires are still all crossed because of this bullshit
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Apr 23, 2019 17:05
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java beans
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Apr 23, 2019 17:26
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enterprise means super tiny unresizeable text designed for 1280x720
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Apr 23, 2019 17:33
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enterprise grade: there's a systray icon, but it doesn't do anything when you click on it
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Apr 23, 2019 17:39
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enterprise grade - sorry this won't work at home unless you open a port on your firewall and we're not telling you what it is
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Apr 23, 2019 17:40
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enterprise grade: installing straight to a folder off c:\ and no you cant move it
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Apr 23, 2019 17:41
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enterprise grade: .ocx files WILL be involved
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Apr 23, 2019 17:41
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Jonny 290 posted:enterprise grade - sorry this won't work at home unless you open a port on your firewall and we're not telling you what it is there's a piece of software here that upon restart randomly assigns the licensing port from 1-65500
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Apr 23, 2019 17:47
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our office has "enterprise grade seal of approval" stickers with the face of one of our old tech ops guys on them
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Apr 23, 2019 17:55
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it can't do what you need it to do at your site because it needs to offer the same garbage experience to all users across the entire service area ("planet")
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Apr 23, 2019 17:57
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remember the episode where the enterprise has a bit of a fender bender and explodes despite theoretically having numerous safety systems to prevent a reactor explosion? that's enterprise-grade
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Apr 23, 2019 17:59
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"enterprise grade" means when there's a fault the screen explodes and sends you flying across the room
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Apr 23, 2019 18:00
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flakeloaf posted:"enterprise grade" means when there's a fault the screen explodes and sends you flying across the room assembly step 37174: now place the block of c4 directly behind the navigation screen and connect it to the shield deflector array lmao
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Apr 23, 2019 18:02
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just leave the tachyon polarity reversed full time, Geordi, jesus christ thats the first thing you flip every loving time
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Apr 23, 2019 18:02
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SN6mp5hVSSc
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Apr 23, 2019 18:04
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Jonny 290 posted:just leave the tachyon polarity reversed full time, Geordi, jesus christ thats the first thing you flip every loving time do you have any idea what that does to their mileage?? captain picard isn't made out of dilithium crystals (in most episodes)
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Apr 23, 2019 18:06
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enterprise grade means the sales guys are the best at lying.
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Apr 23, 2019 18:12
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Neat, we literally heard this exact sales pitch one month ago from Micro Focus It's 2019 and my company still has hundreds of computer janitors manually pushing gui buttons every day because automation is too new and scary
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Apr 23, 2019 18:43
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Farmer Crack-rear end posted:do you have any idea what that does to their mileage?? captain picard isn't made out of dilithium crystals (in most episodes)
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Apr 23, 2019 18:45
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enterprise-grade means it costs enough for larry ellison to buy new dock cleats for his sailboat on his hawaiian island.
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Apr 24, 2019 08:29
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the users, they'll buy enterprise grade products because of the implication it sounds like you're saying the products are bad so they require a lot of babysitting and support to keep working? No no, you're missing the point. Our products are good, and they work exceptionally well, but they would never not buy the enterprise versions because of the implication
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Apr 24, 2019 12:39
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me, a user and also purchaser for my enterprise: oh ok you had me going for the first part, the second part kind of threw me vendor: well mr purchaser think about it. Your users will be out there, each looking for tools. What do they see? Nothing but bespoke unsupported solutions.
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Apr 24, 2019 12:54
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the virgin open source: apt/zypper/yum, docker image, build from source, download and install release binary. repeat whatever chosen process to upgrade the chad enterprise: run this "linux based" OVA and give it a million GB of ram or else it's unsupported.
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Apr 24, 2019 13:19
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it will require a vm running windows xp because the web console only works with ie6
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Apr 24, 2019 13:26
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