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Pretty straightforward. I am 29, (normally) work full time as a registered nurse but had to go on leave early due to pregnancy induced hypertension. My husband is 32 and was fired from his job today. They told him his production was not up to par or something. They claim to have told him this 6 months ago but he doesn't feel like they gave him any warning or opportunity for remediation or whatever. He's getting severance and we have some savings but I have very little PTO and was already going to have a limited amount of leave with baby after birth. Basically I'm looking for immediate things we can do to save money, reduce expenses. I've applied for a forbearance on my student loans (they offered 2 months but it has to be approved still). I have a loan in my home country that is about $400/month that they've given me a moratorium on before, I don't know if they'll do it again but I'm going to ask. Any other things we can do in the immediate time to get through this? I'm just trying to stay calm because I'm already hypertensive and having contractions. We're both in shock. I'm disappointed for him. He's never really failed at anything before, not like this, so it's a huge blow to his psyche. Any advice appreciated.
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Dec 29, 2016 21:03
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 01:31 |
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Having a baby generally opens up a lot of options for public and private assistance - food, formula, baby stuff, etc. You can look online for charities in your area. I'm not sure exactly how you find out about a lot of the programs, I would probably browse for small charities near me and start calling them and just chatting with the people that volunteer there for ideas and other programs you qualify for. If you give birth in 2016, you'll probably save about $1000 in tax, but I guess it's too late to work that one out heh. Without knowing your bills it's hard to say what you are spending money on, but cell phones should generally only cost about $40/month on a prepaid plan each, stop eating out, consult an insurance broker to try and save money on home/auto insurance, cancel or put a hold on any gym memberships since you aren't going to be using one for a few months (?), lower your internet connection speed, cancel cable. If you rent and have a landlord you could try to be sympathetic with the new baby and ask for a break for a little while. You could update your work's W4 form to account for the new baby, that will give you extra money on each paycheck instead of getting a big lump back in April 2018 at this point. Your husband could do gig type jobs like uber driver when it's convenient until he finds a new job. If you have two cars and one is an expensive car or truck, now might be a good time to sell it until you guys need a second car again, and replace with a cheaper used econobox.
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Dec 29, 2016 21:28
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There is a government program called WIC that provides food for breastfeeding and pregnant women below a certain income, and formula for babies that take formula. Also weaning foods but you'll probably be back at work by then. https://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/women-infants-and-children-wic Everyone fails at something in life. I have! He'll be fine.
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Dec 29, 2016 22:58
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What is your health insurance situation?
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Dec 29, 2016 23:29
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Health insurance is all through my work. I'll still have a pay check for a few weeks but it won't be as good as usual (no shift diff/OT etc). So that should be ok, his is through my work too. No gym memberships, I imagine we'll definitely cancel cable. We just got new phones of loving course and got new plans. So we'll have to go back in a figure that out. Luckily it's not too cold so we'll not have a stupid electric bill. Not sure if I qualify for wic. I know about some stuff like that because of work (nicu). Will definitely look into it.
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Dec 30, 2016 01:00
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Miranda posted:We just got new phones of loving course and got new plans. So we'll have to go back in a figure that out. If you phone up now you might be able to sweet-talk returning them and cancelling the plans. Explain the pregnancy complications and tell them just how worried you are 
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Dec 30, 2016 03:28
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I had a friend who drive for under for a while to make ends meet, maybe have you're husband try that. Best of luck!
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Dec 30, 2016 03:29
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BarbarianElephant posted:If you phone up now you might be able to sweet-talk returning them and cancelling the plans. Explain the pregnancy complications and tell them just how worried you are This is a good idea. Can't hurt to ask. What is your husband's field of work? Does he have a plan for where he'll be applying?
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Dec 30, 2016 06:57
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Miranda, does your work allow others to donate extra PTO? Good luck to you and your family.
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Dec 30, 2016 07:56
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Doghouse posted:I had a friend who drive for under for a while to make ends meet, maybe have you're husband try that. Best of luck! Car is too old  pig slut lisa posted:This is a good idea. Can't hurt to ask. Business development I guess is the closest thing but he'll work in a bank if he has to. Luckily where we live is all who you know and his family is hugely connected and loved. Everybody knows him and how much of a hard worker he is. He's planning on reaching out to all his contacts in pretty much anything businessy. It's a dumb time because of course no one is in their office right now, they're all still checked out for the holiday. City of Glompton posted:Miranda, does your work allow others to donate extra PTO? Good luck to you and your family. Yes and I've had some people offer so I have to find out how to do that. Of course our HR people are out til Monday  Thanks for all the advice definitely will be taking it on. My mum is in town and had been staying at an airbnb that was going to cost another like $2400 for the next 3 months so she canceled that (the lady was very nice and understanding and luckily did not penalize her) and she'll stay with us now. Not ideal but a huge saving.
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Dec 30, 2016 16:52
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If you just want casual advise this is fine but for the "Holy poo poo I'm going into credit card debt" type stuff you really need to post all your income sources and a budget like everyone else. Also, what does your emergency fund look like? I will say that getting fired is a pretty big red flag. A lot of people get laid off. Not a lot get fired for performance related causes. The fact that he didn't see it coming at all is another problem. Maybe he's hiding things from you (perhaps so you won't worry) or maybe there are personality type issues. A lot of question marks there.
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Dec 30, 2016 18:44
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Im assuming production numbers are referring to manufacturing work. He could work as a temp through an employment agency such as manpower, Kelly or Adecco. Those are national companies. A lot of the time they have temp to hire positions. Have him look after the 1st of the year most factories are down until then
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Dec 30, 2016 19:39
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potatoducks posted:If you just want casual advise this is fine but for the "Holy poo poo I'm going into credit card debt" type stuff you really need to post all your income sources and a budget like everyone else. Also, what does your emergency fund look like? Business development is a pretty unforgiving career. You either make your targets or you don't. I did it for less than a year before I decited it wasn't worth the BS. He should have seen it coming though. Your targets should be upfront and center.
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Dec 30, 2016 19:44
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Depends on the size of the company, lots of startups and small companies will regularly fire people with no warning just because they are incompetent and have lovely communication and no HR process. Once you get a couple hundred employees though it's essentially unheard of to fire without without warning or probation or whatever, simply because the potential for lawsuits is huge. But if he's got severance he probably foolishly signed something agreeing to never sue so that's likely not an option either.
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Dec 31, 2016 00:49
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Pryor on Fire posted:But if he's got severance he probably foolishly signed something agreeing to never sue so that's likely not an option either. It's only foolish if you have any chance of getting big bucks in a lawsuit. Chances are near zero that this is the case here. There are very few protections to getting fired at will.
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Dec 31, 2016 05:21
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Not sure if that's true based on how much I hear companies are spending to avoid wrongful termination lawsuits, lurking litigation like that can be a big hurdle to closing a transaction, and transactions seem to be main business motivator these days. But the merits of his specific case aren't really known or relevant, it's still foolish to sign what they put in front of you the day the fire you. Stop signing away all your rights you loving idiots.
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Dec 31, 2016 14:14
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Pryor on Fire posted:Not sure if that's true based on how much I hear companies are spending to avoid wrongful termination lawsuits, lurking litigation like that can be a big hurdle to closing a transaction, and transactions seem to be main business motivator these days. Is that due to the likelihood of successful lawsuits, or is it due to the high cost of a company talking to lawyers for anything at all combined with the relative ease of talking a pissed off former employee into going after the company? Companies sure as poo poo aren't saints, but a whole lot of lawyers aren't either, and unless he has proof that he was fired for an illegal reason he's gambling with a poor hand. That's a bad use of time and money when you're days away from a baby. To the OP: It's good that your husband is well connected - that combined with the impending child is going to give you options others can only dream of. Stay on his rear end to take anything reasonable and sort it all out later - you guys need a paycheck coming in, and you absolutely do not need word getting around that he's rejecting good offers because he thinks they're beneath him. I'm not saying he has to go bag groceries part time for minimum wage, but if an offer could possibly work you need to take it and make it work. Once you've had the child and he's been gainfully employed again for a year or two he can start looking for something permanent and in line with expectations.
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Jan 2, 2017 00:52
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Miranda posted:Any advice appreciated. Most things baby (and especially newborn) are used a few times and then discarded. This means that there is an abundance of second hand stuff. In my experience, parents love to give away stuff that their kids have outgrown. We had our first child in late September and did not pay a dollar for the following items: Stroller Safety seat for infants (for the car) Bed Changing station Clothes x a billion Overalls Toys x a billion Diapers (got a weeks worth for free, more from Unilever after mailing about wanting to try new brands for size) 2 baby carriers Granted, we've been way lucky with timing and a few extremely generous friends, but everything we did not have to buy saved us a lot of money (and precious time). Thrift stores / Garage sales are also awesome for everything babby. Best of luck to you and yours, you'll figure this out
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Jan 3, 2017 10:58
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I've been reading this thread for a few days and trying to think of any suggestions I can give. Some may not be terribly helpful but I figured it wouldn't hurt to try. Ways to save money: -Be up front with family and friends about your situation, consider starting a gofundme -Try and see if anyone will donate PTO to you as others have suggested, most hospitals offer this -Like Potrzebie said, buy used as much as possible and accept handmedowns from family and friends if they offer -Cancel anything you don't really need -Eat out less, get a crock pot if you don't have one and make poo poo tons of food in one fell swoop and eat on it throughout the week -Since you're home and you probably have time, try and see if you can learn to be one of those crazy couponing people so you can save on groceries Ways to make money: -Your husband needs a job, help him see the necessity of taking the first reasonable one he sees and then working on picking out his dream job later -Consider having your own garage sale if you have a bunch of stuff you don't need, or list it on Craiglist (maybe let your husband do the transaction though) -Websites like UserTesting will pay you $5-20 to give a review of websites and mobile apps. I do this sometimes when I have extra time and you each can easily rack up $200 a month if you're dedicated. -Your husband might consider donating plasma if you have a center locally, again it can make you around $250 a month if you stick with it. His time would be better spent at a new job if he could find it though but its not a bad idea while he's job searching. -If either of you have textbooks lying around from school, consider selling them at half.com and making some cash back -If you have any crafting skills, consider setting up an etsy and spending your whole life making stuff to sell until the baby is born
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Jan 3, 2017 15:06
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Thanks for all the suggestions guys. He had a follow up meeting with the guy above the first guy he spoke too. There was no mention of performance issues and on his separation agreement it refers only to restructuring. I know some of you might be cynical and say he may not tell me the whole truth if it was performance stuff (or I've been reading the r/relationships thread) but I don't believe this is the case. The top guy sounds like he's losing it, they're talking about changes to the organization that will become more evident blah blah blah. Sounds like a bunch of useless buzz words he read you're supposed to say. Some family made an interesting point that he's really due to retire in the next 5 years or so, so is he panicking? A former board member described my husband as the future of the company last year. Someone also made an interesting point regarding the election seeing as there may be big changes to the SBA. Who knows. Doesn't matter now in some ways. We told our families and all were super supportive. They all know he's not the type of person to sit on their rear end and will have no trouble getting a job where there's one to be got. Everyone instantly had someone they could call or suggest to call for either a possible position or connection. He told a friend who works at a huge corporation based here and he instantly had a position in mind. This town is super about "who you know". He also has his side job coaching HS basketball to keep him motivated. He's been very proactive, I've seen him making notes of what he's doing each day. He's been on the phone today and updating his resume. lovely time because people are just going back to work today too. He'll get a good severance, is not "above" filing for unemployment assistance, I may qualify for WIC with my reduced income. He had his sister who's a lawyer look at the separation agreement and it seems pretty standard. We had already gotten most of the big baby stuff. Thankfully our families are in the position to help (harder for mine because of travel costs and they're retired but they have good pensions and savings). My mum is here until march, my dad will be here from mid jan-march. Mum was staying in an airbnb but canceled that and will stay with us now (saving $2500). Thanks everyone for all the suggestions/advice. We'll cancel cable, renegotiate our phones, I should get a forebearance on my student loans and hopefully another loan I have back home. Definitely not eating out right now! It helps to have my mum here too because I'm supposed to be off my feet. A few people at work had offered to donate PTO I just need to set that up and my short term disability. And hopefully purge this cold I have because it super sucks to be 9 months pregnant and sick!
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Jan 3, 2017 19:32
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Miranda posted:And hopefully purge this cold I have because it super sucks to be 9 months pregnant and sick! Ugh, yes, I got a cold just before my baby was born too, and it was rotten! Even worse with pregnancy complications I imagine. Nasal strips really helped me with breathing at night. Hope everything works out for you! Stay positive!
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Jan 3, 2017 21:25
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Since it sounds like he was laid off, his first step should be applying for unemployment insurance.
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Jan 3, 2017 23:19
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What country are you in and what country are you from? If you don't feel comfortable sharing, that's ok but it can help people give more detailed answers. You never know who might be from your home country or your adoptive country that has gone through something similar. If you're in USA then the state could help too. Sorry for the hardship you are experience. I'm glad you've got a very good support network. Good luck.
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Jan 4, 2017 07:15
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potatoducks posted:I will say that getting fired is a pretty big red flag. A lot of people get laid off. Not a lot get fired for performance related causes. The fact that he didn't see it coming at all is another problem. Maybe he's hiding things from you (perhaps so you won't worry) or maybe there are personality type issues. A lot of question marks there.
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Jan 5, 2017 19:00
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Not sure what's hurting your feelings so much. Feel free to ignore. OP clarified later that it seems more like a layoff than performance related termination anyways.
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Jan 5, 2017 21:40
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Thesaurus posted:Since it sounds like he was laid off, his first step should be applying for unemployment insurance. Yeah kinda surprised it took so long for this to get mentioned.
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Jan 9, 2017 20:40
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Being above filing for unemployment would be insanely stupid since you're paying for it in the first place. Even if it is a termination - at least in my state - you can very often still qualify for unemployment. Source: https://esd.wa.gov/unemployment/laid-off-or-fired If you were fired through no fault of your own, such as not having the skills to do the job, you may be eligible for unemployment benefits. If we decide you were fired or suspended for misconduct or gross misconduct, you will not qualify for unemployment benefits.
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Jan 9, 2017 21:28
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I wonder if baby is here now, Miranda hasn't posted in a few days. Hope they are OK.
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Jan 9, 2017 21:57
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Hi! Baby friend is here. I ended up with preeclampsia and needing a stat csection on Friday. Bub was only 4lb so she has been hanging out in the NICU (where my colleagues are spoiling her rotten) and I'm still admitted with my BP and it also looks like I have shingles. Wtf man. Husband is in better spirits though. Our tiny girl is a drat firecracker who acts like she weighs 10lb! He is in love and I love it. He's been making calls and has some meetings this week so. We are feeling ok. Family is good support. I'm getting a wic Rx for the girl because she has to be supplemented. I don't know if I'll qualify but I'll try. And Husband will do unemployment insurance too. He's had a lot of people come out and offer advice and leads, nothing concrete yet. Several of my colleagues have offered clothes especially premie and newborn stuff - my husband is 6'7, we were definitely not expecting a 4lber. Thankfully premie babies are my speciality!
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Jan 10, 2017 03:44
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 01:31 |
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Glad to hear you are both OK! Hope you are out of hospital soon and able to enjoy your new little baby!
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Jan 10, 2017 18:33
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