Having my sentence for bank robbery overturned

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Having my sentence for bank robbery overturned

Escape From Noise

Because the heist I pulled was just so danged cool. The judge is just gushing.

Thank you Pot Smoke Pheonnix for this Kickin' Rad sig

# ? Jul 25, 2023 01:57

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 08:22

Chrs

the cops all get 6 months for trying to stop your cool heist

# ? Jul 25, 2023 08:12

Escape From Noise

Convicted for extremely cool use of a zipline for my daring escape from the rooftop to a waiting helicopter. The judge is extremely impressed and sentences me to introducing at least one stunt in the next Jackass movie.

Thank you Pot Smoke Pheonnix for this Kickin' Rad sig

# ? Jul 25, 2023 08:50

google THIS

The judge is so floored that I used a single wad of chewing gum to disable the security cameras, fool the thermal scanners, crack the safe, and disable a pursuing security guard that my charge was reduced to littering (I left the gum wrapper on the front steps :doh:

)

# ? Jul 25, 2023 16:41

DoomCroissant: Roll D3 for Delicious Flaky Crust

the jury was enthralled by tales of my hacking skills, click clacking on the keyboard in order to grab the encryption keys so that i can trigger the fountain show when the boys reached the vault

# ? Jul 27, 2023 02:32

alexandriao

my heist was so incredible the judge rolled up in my dms and asked to meet for dinner tonight

Too much is always not enough!

(Thanks to tvsveryown for the spring sig!)

# ? Jul 27, 2023 04:07

Escape From Noise

The judge did not bar me from making any money off of any media made afterwards that was based off of my heist. They in fact encouraged it. Citing that it would be "loving sick" and asking who I would want to play me in a film adaptation as well as what directors I'd like to make it.

Escape From Noise fucked around with this message at 14:58 on Oct 30, 2023

Thank you Pot Smoke Pheonnix for this Kickin' Rad sig

# ? Jul 27, 2023 04:30

Abugadu: 1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.

When the mask I wore was introduced into evidence, the judge was like 'where did you get that, was that Etsy' and I'm like 'no, made it myself' and they were like 'no fuggin way' and I'm like 'yeah, I got the idea when I was at Carnival in Rio, but then decided to kinda combine that with a sort of Inuit vibe and just a lil spice like that fine line between superhero and s&m'

Anyway long story short I got like eleven orders that day and now got my own Etsy store open

# ? Jul 27, 2023 07:12

Escape From Noise

Abugadu posted:

When the mask I wore was introduced into evidence, the judge was like 'where did you get that, was that Etsy' and I'm like 'no, made it myself' and they were like 'no fuggin way' and I'm like 'yeah, I got the idea when I was at Carnival in Rio, but then decided to kinda combine that with a sort of Inuit vibe and just a lil spice like that fine line between superhero and s&m'

Anyway long story short I got like eleven orders that day and now got my own Etsy store open

Thank you Pot Smoke Pheonnix for this Kickin' Rad sig

# ? Jul 27, 2023 07:17

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

judge is really tickled that i thought to bring a suitcase with wheels for the loot instead of a duffle bag and keeps telling me that i "could be a writer on law and order or movies or something"

# ? Jul 29, 2023 05:17

alexandriao

The jury appreciated my use of quadrocopters and called them "loving sick" in a historic break in sentencing phrasing, the judge also called out my entrance into the court via skateboard as "one of the raddest things ive ever seen", following up with "ACAB".

Too much is always not enough!

(Thanks to tvsveryown for the spring sig!)

# ? Aug 4, 2023 21:44

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

jury was just about to find me guilty when i revealed i had pocketed all their wallets during the trial. needless to say i'm free

Join the BYOB Army

^{thank you again Saoshyant!!}

# ? Aug 4, 2023 23:50

alexandriao

The court rises for my ruling.

A juror tentatively hands the judge a slip of paper with sweaty palms.

The judge announces, confidently: On the count of robbery and grand larceny, the accused is rendered—

*The judge unfolds the paper and squints, mumbling to himself*

"the gently caress is this... thats not even English. ugh. millions of taxpayers dollars wasted if i dont say something now... well, uhhhhhh"

—INNOCENT on all charges.

The jury members look shocked, but nobody says anything. The audience claps and cheers for me. Relieved, while my cuffs are undone, I look at the crumpled piece of paper the judge discarded. The word GUILTY stares at me upside down.

Too much is always not enough!

(Thanks to tvsveryown for the spring sig!)

# ? Oct 30, 2023 02:27

Viginti Septem: Oculus Noctuae

alexandriao posted:

The court rises for my ruling.

A juror tentatively hands the judge a slip of paper with sweaty palms.

The judge announces, confidently: On the count of robbery and grand larceny, the accused is rendered—

*The judge unfolds the paper and squints, mumbling to himself*

"the gently caress is this... thats not even English. ugh. millions of taxpayers dollars wasted if i dont say something now... well, uhhhhhh"

—INNOCENT on all charges.

The jury members look shocked, but nobody says anything. The audience claps and cheers for me. Relieved, while my cuffs are undone, I look at the crumpled piece of paper the judge discarded. The word GUILTY stares at me upside down.

https://i.imgur.com/9jTkSUL.mp4
Thanks to vanisher for the paradise sig!

# ? Oct 30, 2023 02:45

Zoya: echoes of a distant past,
bodies die but voices last.
once were held within a cell,
your mind is where these voices dwell.

after the trial the judge sent me a friend request on steam and invited me to his "official judicial discord" and has been pestering me for several days to buy payday 3

thank you snuff melange for the beautiful winter siggy~!

# ? Oct 30, 2023 04:59

vanisher

cops watching me use a grappling hook to scale some bank: �holy poo poo I can�t wait to testify about this, the judge is going to lose it�

_{Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext}

# ? Oct 30, 2023 14:46

Nosfereefer: IF YOU FIND THIS POSTER OUTSIDE BYOB, PLEASE RETURN THEM. WE ARE VERY WORRIED AND WE MISS THEM

alexandriao posted:

The court rises for my ruling.

A juror tentatively hands the judge a slip of paper with sweaty palms.

The judge announces, confidently: On the count of robbery and grand larceny, the accused is rendered—

*The judge unfolds the paper and squints, mumbling to himself*

"the gently caress is this... thats not even English. ugh. millions of taxpayers dollars wasted if i dont say something now... well, uhhhhhh"

—INNOCENT on all charges.

The jury members look shocked, but nobody says anything. The audience claps and cheers for me. Relieved, while my cuffs are undone, I look at the crumpled piece of paper the judge discarded. The word GUILTY stares at me upside down.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Oct 31, 2023 18:00

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Abugadu posted:

When the mask I wore was introduced into evidence, the judge was like 'where did you get that, was that Etsy' and I'm like 'no, made it myself' and they were like 'no fuggin way' and I'm like 'yeah, I got the idea when I was at Carnival in Rio, but then decided to kinda combine that with a sort of Inuit vibe and just a lil spice like that fine line between superhero and s&m'

Anyway long story short I got like eleven orders that day and now got my own Etsy store open

alexandriao posted:

The court rises for my ruling.

A juror tentatively hands the judge a slip of paper with sweaty palms.

The judge announces, confidently: On the count of robbery and grand larceny, the accused is rendered—

*The judge unfolds the paper and squints, mumbling to himself*

"the gently caress is this... thats not even English. ugh. millions of taxpayers dollars wasted if i dont say something now... well, uhhhhhh"

—INNOCENT on all charges.

The jury members look shocked, but nobody says anything. The audience claps and cheers for me. Relieved, while my cuffs are undone, I look at the crumpled piece of paper the judge discarded. The word GUILTY stares at me upside down.

# ? Nov 3, 2023 05:49

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Judge showing up the last day of the trial and is acting all serious and stuff but he clearly got the same haircut as me

# ? Nov 3, 2023 05:50

baka of lathspell

getting my sentence committed for good behaviour by wearing a monocle and saying 'oh, indubitably old chap' all the time

^{join dork order}
_{sig by ??? (<3 u)}

# ? Nov 4, 2023 02:10

baka of lathspell

˙pǝuɹnʇɹǝʌo ʎɹǝqqoɹ ʞuɐq ɹoɟ ǝɔuǝʇuǝs ʎɯ ɓuıʌɐH

^{join dork order}
_{sig by ??? (<3 u)}

# ? Dec 6, 2023 20:16

Viginti Septem: Oculus Noctuae

Having a turnover before writing a sentence on bank robbery.

https://i.imgur.com/9jTkSUL.mp4
Thanks to vanisher for the paradise sig!

# ? Dec 6, 2023 20:22

Dumb Sex-Parrot

Getting my sentence for hacking the bank overturned because I used a mechanical keyboard and one of those old CRT monitors that only does green text.

thank you Saoshyantx4, Plant MONSTER. and deep dish peat moss for the excellent signature

# ? Dec 6, 2023 21:01

google THIS

Turning my sentence for bank robbery over so it can get done on the other side

# ? Dec 6, 2023 21:40

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 08:22

nesamdoom: nesaM killed Masen

Your Honor, the 'take one' sign was more between me and the vault than the pens. I assumed I was allowed to take the vault, but I'm not greedy. I only took as much as I could stuff in my 4 duffle bags that I always carry when out on a masked up pistol run.

https://i.imgur.com/1qBoiAi.mp4

# ? Dec 6, 2023 23:17

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Having my sentence for bank robbery overturned