|
OhCrap posted:i poo poo trains appears. Kobold shits bricks!
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 16:09
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 06:54 |
|
|
Juc66 posted:Well I did it pretty lazily but here you go. (sorta) I just want to say that I love this 
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 16:16
|
|
|
As a siege operator, if you're not planning to use me for make Do siege weapons, you can feel free to toss me in a squad, Oh Crap.
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 16:36
|
|
|
Looks like musclebaby's all grown upOhCrap posted:I was fully expecting him to die. His head was pissing blood. If he ever oversees there is a perfect opportunity for a literally brain-damaged overseer
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 16:41
|
|
|
This can only end in tragedy. And I wonder where my other kid is?
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 17:55
|
|
|
Zapdos posted:This can only end in tragedy. Hey, at least you're better off than my Hammerdwarf:  To battle! 
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 18:00
|
|
|
This has been really fun. I've been away from the Internet connection since monday (well, I went to a public wifi hotspot a few times) and there was a lot of great reading to catch up. Also, yay, about 12 dorfs and it's my turn!  I finally remembered what OhCrap's style reminds me of.
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 18:08
|
|
|
Hey I'm finally in, and I'm a surgeon who is married to moonwalk, and I'm father of barbarossa, awesome.
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 18:14
|
|
|
i poo poo trains is the best dwarf-dad a dead dwarf infant could ever have had.
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 18:26
|
|
|
John Charity Spring posted:i poo poo trains is the best dwarf-dad a dead dwarf infant could ever have had. He could always pull a Pet Cemetery and introduce Grandma and Grandpa to their missing grandchild...
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 18:43
|
|
|
 1st Granite 238 It is my birthday! I have not had cause to tell anyone here except the bookkeeper, who cares about things like that for some reason. I have thought of throwing a party to celebrate myself, the new artifact scepter, and the strangely-named infants born lately. "For Improbable Lobster!" I would say. I'm not sure I could say it with a straight face however. As laughing at a newborn seems gauche I may forgo the party and help myself to an extra booze ration instead. 2nd Granite 238 I blame the extra booze ration for my dream last night that Etest, Osram, and Dakas Goldgranite blessed me with fey inspiration. I gathered bars of steel fresh from my furnace. (This is how I knew it was a dream, because I had steel instead of alpacas and rabbits.) I gathered marquise-cut red zircons and round star sapphire cabochons that we also do not have. I gathered gold and alunite. I gathered lye and dog tallow. In a trance of wealth and glory I created a dog soap banded with steel that menaced with spikes of jewels and had an image of a masterful horse biscuit in alunite and gold. The gods gave it the name of Doveivory the Dolorous Cascade of Lathers. In jubilation I ran it out to the river Fadedmaggot, which I am considering renaming Dwarfcorpses (I think that would catch on), and I dipped the artifact soap in the waters. They foamed with bubbles of superior virtue! The river ran clear! The murk on the other side ran away! The zombie weasels poked their noses in the suds and drank them, and were cleansed, and they swam down and recovered Bikindok's body; as it passed through the bubbles Bikindok came back to life and asked the weasels what they had done with his pants. I brought Doveivory the Dolorous Cascade of Lathers to the dining hall to show to all its wonder, but every dwarf of the fortress was playing with cat bone toy boats and they wouldn't even look up. Then Leperfish did look up and asked me how many bars of billon I had made although he should know I cannot make any and billon is an inferior alloy that only wastes fuel. Then I woke. I think I have listened too much to the Overseer. Soap can't cure evil on its own. Although if I am ever ambushed by goblins and I have soap in my hand I will see how they like a bar driven in the eye socket. 8th Granite 238 Every time I see a furry creature that is not a male dwarf I start counting the days until our brothers of the caravan offer us variety in metals again. That is a lot of days. Are the soldiers going to end up fighting worse things than zombie weasels with only bronze? 17th Granite 238 Apparently, yes. 18th Granite 238 Apparently no! The bridge has worked as intended and kept a zombie ogre on the other side of the river. But ice happens; we cannot rely on bridges. Still I am glad it is there, and glad there will be a well without any risk of weasel-related hammering for me. But there is something better than wells: the miners have broached huge caverns. I have been in caverns like that. Once I did visit that land down under, and I crossed paths with giant toads there! I was alarmed but the toads did nothing but sit and be fat. A doctor of Pagevoice told me I should have licked one and then I would have had strange dreams. I think I have proven I do not need toad-licking for those. Anyway, my hope is that hematite and magnetite and maybe lignite will be found. Or nuggets of precious metal! Imagine Shedlisid's value if its spikes of silk menaced with more spikes of native aluminum. Even then I think we could not get traders to buy it. 30th Slate 238 There are giant spiders in the caverns and they are thirsty for blood! i poo poo trains returned from battle with a bruised tongue. I suspect someone told him to lick the spider. Also his head was gushing blood, which is what can happen when you lick things with teeth. 23rd Felsite 238 Bikindok rose from the dead as in my dream, but he forgot to bring his body along. There is a lesson in this for all of us: bribe engravers to make your slab before the Overseer can say what goes on it. I wish mine to say 'Kaishai Gikutiteb / Incomparable Smelter of Steel Bars / Lead, Bronze, and Iron Too / And Billon If You Insist / Drowned Peacefully In Wine Pot 338.' Then when I actually die next year of being chewed on by zombie spiders my slab will become my greatest joke. Kaishai fucked around with this message at 18:49 on Jul 20, 2012 |
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 18:46
|
|
|
OhCrap posted:My posts are one long bad joke I did like: OhCrap posted:There is a Kangaroo tied down for Sport! I order do Train it. Kangaroo of War would Speed. Now I have the Rolf Harris version stuck in my head.
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 18:48
|
|
|
(I will add the journal entry title later) Finally we have travelled to Bronzestabbed to see Family and see little John Charity Spring! Family shows me room of John Charity Spring which is Good with Bronze table, but no John Charity Spring. He must be hiding like Good child. I poo poo trains is Good child but complains of spiders. He is Hero of Bronzestabbed apparently! I am Mother of Hero of Bronzestabbed. I poo poo trains should Clean face in Well as its always bloody. I must be helpful for the young dwarves here. I must find Herb for Husband and me. Maybe can find child with +rat weed+.
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 18:55
|
|
|
So, apperently I'm one hell of a Gem cutter who's also very tough and agile, got sent to militia duty and were at the fight with BAD SPIDER. Give me an axe and poo poo will be done!  (Although the name "Trademartyrs" is kinda ominious...)Also loving the fast pace of updates, so here's to hoping for similar speed from the next one!
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 19:40
|
|
|
Neat! A week after moving in I'm punching Giant Cave Spiders and running down kobolds and just in time to slip in before ambushes and sieges!
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 19:52
|
|
|
Aw Crap, what is Coastlens making? I hope it's something halfway useful, I wish to be Good Dwarf. 
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 19:53
|
|
|
overthefalls posted:(I will add the journal entry title later) While a title isn't strictly necessary, if you want me to notice and link your journal entries, you need to use the journal entry image (see the second post in the thread). I nearly missed yours! Also of course if you go back and edit the title I'd probably miss that.
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 20:26
|
|
|
I was merely smiling until:OhCrap posted:I order to Engrave Slab of Bikindok, so: After which I now have to wipe my monitor because of: OhCrap posted:Kobold will escape. He will tell other Kobolds of OhCrap, i poo poo trains. Poor Kobold will be slightly Misunderstood.
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 21:17
|
|
|
Kennel posted:He eats spider venom and shits trains. And this is how legends are made.
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 21:22
|
|
|
scamtank posted:Soapy baths remove infection risk and clean off syndrome contaminants, sure, but that venom went right in his blood. I don't know if it helped any there. "Quite durable" and "quick to heal" attributes probably saved him, both from bleeding out and from suffocating. Of course, a helmet would have saved him much more effectively. 
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 21:32
|
|
|
I'm not exactly sure what the 'Toughness' attribute does. Does it improve the material density of your flesh and bones? Or lessen the force of the blows hitting you, or improve your tolerance to pain (which I thought was willpower)? Or does it just give you more blood? That would be a pretty gamey way of doing it
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 21:52
|
|
|
Boing posted:I'm not exactly sure what the 'Toughness' attribute does. Does it improve the material density of your flesh and bones? Or lessen the force of the blows hitting you, or improve your tolerance to pain (which I thought was willpower)? Or does it just give you more blood? That would be a pretty gamey way of doing it I basically have no idea about the details, but dwarves with higher toughness take longer to drown, have to lose more limbs to bleed out, and just generally seem harder to kill. Source: I've killed a few dwarves in my time.
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 21:57
|
|
|
Valiantman posted:Poor Kobold will be slightly Misunderstood. Almost could be worked into a "Who's on first" skit. The name of the dwarf who attacked you? OhCrap Are you ok? That's his name, OhCrap! Forget it, what's the other dwarf's name i poo poo trains You sound like you ate Bad Bad Weasel guts
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 22:05
|
|
|
Hey OhCrap, I thought your turn was going to be crap, but it's been great, so I bought you this fine avatar.
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 22:25
|
|
|
I haven't laughed this hard in a while. OhCrap, your updates are hilarious as well as informative on what has been going on. Dwarfed as a teenage female dwarf... overindulges, doesn't help others, doesn't finish work and is easily distracted, and rolls eyes when bored. Sounds like a rebellious teenage girl to me. I apologize to Leal, woytaz, grandpa Gnu Sheriff in Town, and grandma Chickenfrogdwarf for what is to come.
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 22:38
|
|
|
Colon V posted:I just want to say that i poo poo trains is my hero now. He's the best son a dwarf could ask for! The Journal of Ventnor Zozstakud, 25th Felsite 238 It's been an arduous journey, but I finally made it. Not that I'm a stranger to travel, of course. I've experienced a lot of things in my time, after all. Experience, really, was what drove me here. Both of my children, Zaodai and i poo poo trains have been making a name for themselves here. Making me and their mother proud (not that I'd say that in public. Need to keep a proper stoic front and all that). However, I'd heard that i poo poo trains lost his son, Jon Charity Spring. And while dwarves are capable of many things, abandoning their family isn't one of them. At least, not the dwarves in our family. So I left with overthefalls for Kilrudzat. When we made it, the first thing I did after meeting up with my children was to see the tomb. The overseers here may be of limited competence, but I'll always be thankful that my grandchild was honored the way he was. While I will never get to know the kind of dwarf he would have been, I at least am happy that he seems to have made a positive impact on the fort. I suspect I may see him soon. My old bones aren't what they used to be, although I still can swing a hammer well enough that I was drafted into the Stormy Lancers. No problem with that, though; someone's got to keep the Fortress safe, and I get to see how my son fights. There was a close call with a cave spider the other day, but seeing him run off kobolds the other day put a smile on my face. Hopefully I'll be able to keep any other grandkids that may pop up alive. Kill a few goblins before Ugath sees fit to knock me over. I'll see soon enough, I suppose.
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 22:42
|
|
|
A Kangaroo in the water reserve...is it a male or a female? If its a male, no problem. If its a female, there is a serious issue: Kangaroo's hop -> moving water upwards is necromancy -> Kangaroo has pouch that allows her to carry water upward -> no soap = clearly evil intentions. I suggest that Kangaroo be murdered. Heck, kill it even if it claims to be male, since it could be lying... By the way, love your work OhCrap.
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 22:46
|
|
|
Lord_Ventnor posted:He's the best son a dwarf could ask for! I like to think based on this and the untagged journal entry up above you just neglected to tell your wife (husband?) that JCS was dead and made them pack up and move for the hell of it.
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 22:53
|
|
|
Denial is a wonderful thing. Werehyenas? Nah, he is hiding. Sweet sweet +rat weed+. And she is 150.
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 22:59
|
|
|
Boing posted:I'm not exactly sure what the 'Toughness' attribute does. Does it improve the material density of your flesh and bones? Or lessen the force of the blows hitting you, or improve your tolerance to pain (which I thought was willpower)? Or does it just give you more blood? That would be a pretty gamey way of doing it
|
|
#
?
Jul 20, 2012 23:28
|
|
|
I am suddenly going out of town for most of the weekend. I'll probably have internet access but in case I don't, if OhCrap finishes his turn before Sunday then the Overseer lottery won't start till I get back. You guys will just have to cope.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2012 00:00
|
|
|
A question for OhCrap, who shows Wisdom Is a Bad Munki a Good Dwarf? If Bad Munki is Good Dwarf, should we Buy monkeys and Murk them?
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2012 00:24
|
|
|
I love how each overseer has managed to have such distinct personalities and writing styles! I hope future overseers can come up with their own personal touch on their leadership and narrative style. I get the impression that OhCrap is convinced that to be a Good Overseer she needs sound like a Stoic Leader, has no idea what that actually means and has just gone overboard. Alternatively, she just has a strange dialect of dwarfen (a Pagetin accent?). Everyone else just talks 'normally' and rolls their eyes when she Proclamations them
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2012 00:25
|
|
|
Appropriate given the Olympics that my dwarf is apparently getting some good running practice. Honestly shocked he made it to childhood.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2012 01:06
|
|
|
Lord_Ventnor posted:He's the best son a dwarf could ask for! There is more than one son in that family.  I'm just too rolly-poly to catch up to any of the fights before they're over.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2012 01:22
|
|
|
OhCrap posted:Kobold will escape. He will tell other Kobolds of OhCrap, i poo poo trains. These are such cheap laughs. Someday they won't be funny any more But today is not that day...
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2012 02:03
|
|
|
Miss the thread for a few days and you miss your own birth!OhCrap posted:
Are one-eyed freaks particularly common? Man, I am loving OhCrap's
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2012 02:18
|
|
|
OhCrap posted:27th Granite 238 Whose a widdle bitty baby? You are!
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2012 02:39
|
|
|
Improbable Lobster posted:Are one-eyed freaks particularly common? They're procedurally generated creatures of the night which can only show up in fortress mode if you embark on top of their lair. So no.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2012 02:45
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 06:54 |
|
|
Tunicate posted:
Waah! Baby no like Bad Murk! And someone fetch me a nipple!
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2012 02:48
|
|
