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paragon1 posted:Yeah, most of the seems to come from the author being lazy and thoughtless. You could say that about this whole thing really. Talking about lazy and thoughtless, look at this: I just realized what was bugging me about this picture. The thing is, he's wearing a coat. The problem is, there are four to six limbs that are under the coat. Someone makes this whole different monster kind of thing, then forgets all the real details about them.
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# ? Apr 4, 2013 08:00 |
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# ? Apr 26, 2024 09:57 |
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Iced Cocoa posted:Talking about lazy and thoughtless, look at this: Holy poo poo, look at the left side of that picture. I was only looking at the dressing gown-clad coaster on the right but he's reading a loving book. e: and I thought his nostrils were his eyes on the left one. Actually looks a lot like a lazy panda.
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# ? Apr 4, 2013 11:06 |
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Iced Cocoa posted:Talking about lazy and thoughtless, look at this: The obvious answer is that were-roller-coasters also have the power to retract their arms into their bodies whenever they wish to.
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# ? Apr 4, 2013 13:01 |
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Dreggon posted:Holy poo poo, look at the left side of that picture. I was only looking at the dressing gown-clad coaster on the right but he's reading a loving book. He's reading a loving book while awkwardly stretching his hand towards us just so we can see his wheel-fingers. That's the kind of illustration mistakes I made back in tenth grade. JosephWongKS posted:The obvious answer is that were-roller-coasters also have the power to retract their arms into their bodies whenever they wish to. My money is on yet another case of "I don't always draw Rainbowfarts McDragonwolf with wings cause
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# ? Apr 4, 2013 13:59 |
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Keep the following in mind when reading Chapter 10, which will be posted shortly.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialogue_in_writing posted:
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# ? Apr 5, 2013 16:16 |
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This is gonna be awesome.
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# ? Apr 5, 2013 16:24 |
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Chapter 10 – Why Must It Be This Way?quote:I woke up blinking my eyes briefly, my head throbbed and my muscles ached. It felt as if a bronco kicked me. I opened my eyes a tad bit more to see Thunderbark standing before me. I moaned loudly. Dude. You were on a murder-rampage (including attacking your own girlfriend) and the old guy stopped you. Show some gratitude for that if nothing else. quote:Thunderbark rolled his eyes. “He’s fine,” he sighed. Everyone’s an rear end in a top hat in this book. Except, of course, for Detective Black. quote:I sat up in bed and turned to Thunderbark. I took a long deep breath then reluctantly decided to speak to him. But he spoke first. Twisted was published in 2010, after Avatar the Last Airbender had finished its run. Given the reference to lightning-bending, we can probably expect to see Railrunner’s abusive roller coaster-father and scheming roller coaster-sister in the later chapters of the book. quote:“Well is there any particular reason why?” To quote Thunderbark himself, were–roller coasters “can bend lightening [sic] and fire, posses [sic] super strength and agility, predict when things will happen, exept [sic] death, sense trouble, never get get sick, are venomous, can hear a sound from miles, have the sight of a dragon, and other things.” Why are they so still drat afraid of mortal policemen? quote:I got to my feet to get ready and prepared to walk out the door. Title drop! quote:I walked out of the hotel, to my right was the police impound lot, and there was my car. The black Mustang, it was as shinny [sic] as the day I bought it. I’ll go get it out; besides, Clare’s house is a long way away from the hotel. What kind of crappy town zoning council places a police impound lot right next to a hotel? quote:I walked over to the police station and passed trough [sic] the double doors. I saw lots of officers roaming about. I felt so unease [sic], I now considered these men as my enemies. There were posters of wanted people on a large wall, but in the middle of them was the biggest poster of all, the one of me as a roller coaster. I tried to ignore it, and then I walked up to the desk. This world must have gone through one hell of a disaster in the recent past, that a receptionist can be so blasé about the existence of an autonomous roller-coaster. quote:“Well, I wasn’t really there, a friend drove me home, I was pretty drunk,” I lied. Why is everyone so drat nonchalant about a roller-coaster that moves on its own and attacks people and livestock? Also, Miranda Leek has not the slightest clue what a “paradox” is. quote:“Thanks. Hey where is Detective Black?” I asked out of curiosity. gently caress yeah Detective Black! Truly he is the most hardcore badass in the book. I mean, last chapter “Railrunner landed in front of [Detective Black] and raised his claws, and nailed the detective, sending him crashing through a tent” AND “hit him with a heavy blow, knocking the detective out cold”. All this is done by a 10-ton roller coaster with super-strength and venomous claws, and Detective Black is still alive and kicking and ready to dish it back out again. quote:“I wish him the best,” I said climbing into my car, wanting to snicker at my last comment. I started the engine and drove out of the lot. They were on high alert that’s for sure. As so was I. If Miranda Leek is trying to make us detest Rodney / Railrunner, she’s doing an excellent job of it. quote:+++ I can honestly say that I did not see that coming, given that Clare is someone who’s clearly intended to represent the “normal” person in contrast to the “abnormal” world of the were-roller coasters. If Clare was (understandably, and justifiably) afraid of Rodney / Railrunner, why didn’t she simply not open the door? What kind of thought processes ran through her mind to reach the conclusion “I shall let him in and stab him when he least expects it”? quote:Then the gash started to shrink, till it was no longer visible, Rodney had healed himself. Clare stood unmoving. She gasped as she realized her mistake. Oh how wonderful, now they get a healing factor as well. This must be the “other things” in Thunderbark’s recitation of a were-roller coaster’s powers. quote:+++ Clare also seems to be absurdly cavalier about the existence of an entire dimension of living amusement park rides. No-one in this book has anything close to a “normal” reaction to events happening around them. It’s as though everyone has been emotionally desensitized by past trauma, which is pretty when you think about it. quote:“Fine, I will start with how I became a roller coaster. It all began when I went to Mystic Park to get a job, I met Woody. He and I went coaster walking. Then we stopped and Woody said his real name was Thunderbark, and mine was Railrunner. Then he told me where I came from and the legend of Amusement Park Between. And I was the key to some kind of prophecy. Then, it happened.” “And others”? You mean there’s still more powers that a were-roller coaster gets? Even World of Death vampires don’t get so many powers of such an assorted range! I also want to highlight that this is the second time in just four chapters that Miranda Leek has dropped the same exposition dump. quote:“What is it like being Railrunner?” She asked quietly as she nervously pulled at her sleeves. I’m not surprised that Miranda Leek is apparently a Juggalo. quote:“That’s when you’re not in control, right?” Rodney is pretty much a complete sociopath at this point. Why does it come as a surprise to him that Clare wouldn’t want to associate with someone who tried to loving murder her? quote:“Railrunner you are very good to me, but unfortunately you are also very bad. You almost killed me last night.” Seriously, what a disgusting self-centred prick. You tried to murder her! It doesn’t matter that you weren’t “in control” at the time! Why does it have to be about you all the time? quote:“Railrunner, this will never work. You have people that can’t accept you for what you are. You have people that want you dead!” Why does it have to be about you all the time? Can’t you stop being a petulant child for just one loving minute? You tried to loving murder her!!!
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# ? Apr 5, 2013 18:00 |
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Did Leek ever explain what "bending" means or does she use it as though it's a general term?
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# ? Apr 5, 2013 20:34 |
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It really does seem like someone has cut and pasted stuff from other genres into this, especially with this 'forbidden love' line.
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# ? Apr 5, 2013 20:37 |
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Sindai posted:Did Leek ever explain what "bending" means or does she use it as though it's a general term? She considers it a general term. I have only heard about Avatar so reading about "bending" all I could wonder just what else she could rip off from, and would she be as blunt as this. I never thought then I would wish she would be as subtle ripping off things as she did with bending.
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# ? Apr 5, 2013 21:01 |
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Oh Railrunner... You murdered people, ate animals and caused massive property damage for no good reason. He's such a lovable scamp! Holy gently caress Clare I thought she would just threaten the dude, but she just went and stabbed him. I don't know whether to be impressed or scared. Bobbin, if I may, you're a writer right? Can you tell us what you think of the perspective shifts? I'd really like to hear your opinion.
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# ? Apr 6, 2013 00:20 |
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"Whoop dee" is not a phrase.
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# ? Apr 6, 2013 02:34 |
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Holy poo poo Clare. Stone cold killer.
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# ? Apr 6, 2013 02:45 |
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alcharagia posted:"Whoop dee" is not a phrase. Clearly one of the "other" were-roller coaster powers is the ability to make up or change the meaning of words and phrases at will.
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# ? Apr 6, 2013 02:49 |
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Iced Cocoa posted:I never thought then I would wish she would be as subtle ripping off things as she did with bending. quote:Then the gash started to shrink, till it was no longer visible, Rodney had healed himself. Clare stood unmoving. She gasped as she realized her mistake.
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# ? Apr 6, 2013 03:41 |
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SSNeoman posted:Bobbin, if I may, you're a writer right? Can you tell us what you think of the perspective shifts? I'd really like to hear your opinion. I got a few things to say about this chapter, actually. But in regards to this, mixing first and third person perspectives is generally frowned upon. First person means committing to a personal take on a single perspective, a perspective that can only expand if the protagonist is "writing" him or herself and can therefore embed an extra layer of narrative ("I heard about the events later, and as I've pieced things together, I believe it went something like this"). The third person perspective has license to move between characters since the point of view is not directly attached to anyone, although you can also choose to limit your focus to one individual. One book which I think does a good job playing with the issue of perspective is Pages of Pain, in which the first person perspective character is the Lady of Pain, literally an omniscient being, and so when it shifts into a third person narrative following another protagonist, it makes sense since she is effectively watching the narrative along with the reader. Personally, I'm more willing to give a break to Miranda for using nonstandard identifiers; I've always felt that using a good identifier can save a line of description and help provide connotations to dialog that the bare words can't always provide on their own (see: most uses of sarcasm online). That said, there can be a fine line between "adding to a scene" and "Roget approved purple prose;" you really need a good ear for what can fit and what can't. Joseph, I also noted that you highlighted identifiers which your reference considers safe, like "asked" and "replied." On the other hand, focusing on these has led me to notice that she consistently makes a grammatical mistake regarding identifiers: "This is how complete sentences with identifiers should be punctuated," he began. "When you use an exclamation point or a question mark, it should look similar!" he continued. "But this is how most of Miranda's dialogue ends." He finished. So it turns out she hasn't been misusing identifiers at all: she's been adding completely unrelated bits of unspoken dialog afterwards instead! alcharagia posted:"Whoop dee" is not a phrase. It's two thirds of a phrase (whoop-dee doo), and the speaker is feeling apathetic; I'd let that one slide. Two other notes: first, the meeting with Clare is all kinds of head scratching. So her first reaction to seeing her homicidal wolf-roller-coaster-man is to up and stab him in the chest, her second reaction upon seeing his freakish healing factor is to sobbingly forgive him, and then upon hearing his silly roller coaster name she instantly decides to call him only that for the rest of the scene? Second, I would like to nominate Detective Black as hero of the thread. Bobbin Threadbare fucked around with this message at 05:43 on Apr 6, 2013 |
# ? Apr 6, 2013 05:41 |
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BONUS CONTENTAbout the Author and the Illustrator posted:
JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 15:35 on Apr 6, 2013 |
# ? Apr 6, 2013 06:21 |
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quote:...at the tender age of seventeen... Explains it all, really.
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# ? Apr 6, 2013 07:52 |
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Accordingly to Miranda Leek's bio, she wrote Twisted when she was 17 years old. Twisted was published in 2010, so that means she was born in 1993. Could Miranda Leek the writer be Miranda Leek the archer?http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miranda_Leek posted:
JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 08:59 on Apr 6, 2013 |
# ? Apr 6, 2013 08:56 |
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Unless she commutes from Tennessee to Texas every other day, I don't think this archery lady is our Miranda Leek.
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# ? Apr 6, 2013 10:42 |
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To clarify, the post of "About the Author and the Illustrator" above was not the fruit of any internet detectivity on my part, but is taken from the inside back cover of the book, which I'd never seen until now, when I turned to the back of the book to see how it ended. If the consensus is that posting it in the thread is creepy I'll edit out the post above. JosephWongKS fucked around with this message at 15:37 on Apr 6, 2013 |
# ? Apr 6, 2013 15:33 |
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"And yet, I feel so invincible, like nothing can stop me, even though that is true." Mother of God... E: attackbunny posted:This book is a horror story about a domestic abuser with superpowers. That'd actually be interesting and kind of unique, so I'm betting Miranda doesn't take the story in that direction. Rahonavis fucked around with this message at 19:45 on Apr 6, 2013 |
# ? Apr 6, 2013 17:27 |
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This book is a horror story about a domestic abuser with superpowers.
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# ? Apr 6, 2013 18:38 |
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To be fair, some of her art is alright: http://www.mirandasmagic.com/resources/twisted_by_railrunnermiranda-d5f1u9x.jpg?timestamp=1351706075652 It reminds of those R.L.Stein book covers from when I was a kid. I'm wondering if she traced it from something else though. She can't do proportions to save her life, and this is coming from a non-art person. But I feel like it's missing something... Ah, there we are. ...Oh my god what the gently caress Don't click here. There is nothing good here. Also spoilers. posted:This is Shadowtrack, a little anthro roller coaster- a feisty one at that. She's quite a flirt, putting on a private show for her husband Railrunner behind closed doors... every night. Shadowtrack's personality is playful and seductive, but at other times she's serious and understanding. She's addicted to Railrunner like he's her own personal drug and would never go with any other coaster behind his back. drat it Miranada. I'm trying to be sympathetic but you aren't making it easy! EDIT: I agree attackbunny, this deserves more NMS tags. My apologies, everyone. Seraphic Neoman fucked around with this message at 00:52 on Apr 7, 2013 |
# ? Apr 6, 2013 20:19 |
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What the gently caress, I can't even see the goddamn picture behind the wall of watermarks
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# ? Apr 6, 2013 21:12 |
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Mercedes posted:What the gently caress, I can't even see the goddamn picture behind the wall of watermarks I think that was the point. You need to click on the first link to see the original.
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# ? Apr 6, 2013 21:16 |
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SSNeoman, you need more NMS tags on that thing. I'm almost relieved, because if Psychoaster's going to end up with this blatant fuckdoll trophy then that means Clare's well away from the guy who thinks she's a bitch for dumping him after he tried to murder her. Sadly, I have this horrible feeling like Clare's going to get in a stupid catfight with the fuckdoll and get her rear end kicked by Railrunner's new and superior
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# ? Apr 6, 2013 21:22 |
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attackbunny posted:I'm almost relieved, because if Psychoaster's going to end up with this blatant fuckdoll trophy then that means Clare's well away from the guy who thinks she's a bitch for dumping him after he tried to murder her. Sadly, I have this horrible feeling like Clare's going to get in a stupid catfight with the fuckdoll and get her rear end kicked by Railrunner's new and superior Speculation related to the spoilered stuff: I have this horrible feeling that Clare is the, er, fuckdoll.
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# ? Apr 6, 2013 21:35 |
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my dad posted:Speculation related to the spoilered stuff: I have this horrible feeling that Clare is the, er, fuckdoll. What? No, that's not how rollercoasters work - Oh poo poo. poo poo. Shiiiit.
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# ? Apr 6, 2013 21:46 |
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my dad posted:Speculation related to the spoilered stuff: I have this horrible feeling that Clare is the, er, fuckdoll. That would be my first guess, too. Conservation of characters and all that. Then again, I'm not sure we can trust that any literary technique will be abided by in this book.
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# ? Apr 6, 2013 21:46 |
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Story spoilers related to discussion: Maybe to help figure out how all that would work, roller coasters are venomous, but their venom is only stored in their two main fangs, not the other fangs or their claws. So not only is this book a hilariously transplanted werewolf story, it's also hilariously transplanted vampire story! And about that thing, she's nothing but a fuckdoll. Not a single line in her bio describes her out of context of either being sexy, or not in relation to Railrunner. She's nothing if it weren't for Railrunner.
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# ? Apr 6, 2013 22:37 |
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JosephWongKS posted:If the consensus is that posting it in the thread is creepy I'll edit out the post above. I think posting something from the book is fine. After all, that is what this thread is about, and, to me at least, shows that we should not be outrageously harsh on her given that this was written by a 17 year old (for some reason I was thinking of it as the product of a lonely 30-something). However, actually trying to track down anything else about Miranda is kinda creepy. I don't think it is the same person as this archer, but people shouldn't do anything further to find her.
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# ? Apr 6, 2013 23:41 |
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NeoAnjou posted:I think posting something from the book is fine. After all, that is what this thread is about, and, to me at least, shows that we should not be outrageously harsh on her given that this was written by a 17 year old (for some reason I was thinking of it as the product of a lonely 30-something). Seconded.
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# ? Apr 6, 2013 23:43 |
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NeoAnjou posted:I think posting something from the book is fine. After all, that is what this thread is about, and, to me at least, shows that we should not be outrageously harsh on her given that this was written by a 17 year old (for some reason I was thinking of it as the product of a lonely 30-something). Third'd. We have her art site and her DeviantART page which are sort of "this-book-by-extension" so we really need nothing else. Trying to find anything further than that is going into creep territory.
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# ? Apr 7, 2013 00:58 |
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quote:'Shadowtrack' I haven't actually looked at the picture, yet. I'm afraid that if I look I won't have a way to express the horror, and it will eat me up inside.
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# ? Apr 8, 2013 09:33 |
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This thread has gone from "amusing" to "hilarious trainwreck" to "somewhat creepy" now that Leek seems to have taken this whole roller coaster otherkin thing really seriously. Please don't go any deeper than is absolutely necessary, I don't want to have dreams about it.
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# ? Apr 8, 2013 22:04 |
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Dreggon posted:
Well, I had the good luck (for an extremely specific definition of that phrase) to have the picture load for me (I am using the Awful app right now) and, well... Why does she have boobs? She is a friggin' rollercoaster-dragon thing, WHY does she have huge boobs?!? Why is she flopping around on the floor like a porn star? Why is she flopping around on the floor like a human porn star if she's a several-meter long dragon-thing with multiple arms and legs?!? How does Miranda not understand, even at her young age, even based upon everyday observation that a long-bodied animal with many short limbs is going to move in a way that is very, very different from a short-bodied animal with four long limbs?!? But most importantly, and this is the thing that kills me: If were-rollercoaster-dragon-things are the most awesome creatures around; if they are bloodthirsty killing machines that can manipulate the elements, heal from any wound, redefine common phrases, and (enter new power as the plot demands here), why is Shadowtrack "nothing" without her boyfriend?!?!? That isn't just a heartbreaking reminder of how ingrained the "female characters can't be interesting" thing is, even for female writers, it simply does not make any loving sense in the world of this story!?! Rahonavis fucked around with this message at 23:30 on Apr 8, 2013 |
# ? Apr 8, 2013 23:23 |
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Because porn. quote:But most importantly, and this is the thing that kills me: If were-rollercoaster-dragon-things are the most awesome creatures around; if they are bloodthirsty killing machines that can manipulate the elements, heal from any wound, redefine common phrases, and (enter new power as the plot demands here), why is Shadowtrack "nothing" without her boyfriend?!?!? That isn't just a heartbreaking reminder of how ingrained the "female characters can't be interesting" thing is, even for female writers, it simply does not make any loving sense in the world of this story!?! I suppose I've had the benefit of reading the Darkangel trilogy when I was still very young (Meredith Ann Pierce, still extremely good books after I reread them, take a look if you can), so I've never had that notion that female protagonists can't be independent, interesting, or useful. That even some female authors can't understand this strikes me as nothing less than tragic.
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# ? Apr 9, 2013 02:20 |
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Clicked link Don't click it if you haven't. ... I don't even understand how, why, what would entice anybody to draw that. Here, have a picture of a dog to clean your mind. That rollercoaster drawing is a crime against humanity.
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# ? Apr 9, 2013 09:46 |
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# ? Apr 26, 2024 09:57 |
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Well, I was looking for some material from my next guest review, and while looking I ran across this on Miranda's DA journal:quote:A new, revised and updated version of Twisted will be out this coming summer The cover will be changed, the ugly interior illustrations are scrapped and replace with spot illustrations, and though the story won't change - there is going to be a major facelift to the text with edits and a few added content! So, if you are thinking about reading Twisted, just wait until the new version is released, don't buy the ugly thing that I did years ago. So the picture linked earlier is probably going to be the cover of the new edition. And JWKS, you were unlucky, had it been only few months later you would have read a story about a powerful, magical destiny-bound were-rollercoaster train while not suffering the multitude of grammartical and spelling errors. And the story stays unchanged. Given that Shadowtrack has consistently been portrayed as "Nothing without Railrunner" I doubt that the changing story includes somewhat revised characters.
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# ? Apr 11, 2013 19:14 |