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404GoonNotFound posted:The best part is that due to a series of lawsuits, Five Hour Energy is no longer allowed to claim that they actually provide energy nor last a full five hours. 5 Hour Energy now has a campaign "Don't listen to all the bullshit, get the facts on our website, and decide for yourself"
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# ? May 17, 2013 11:36 |
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# ? Apr 26, 2024 09:45 |
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It'd be interesting to watch a compilation of all the 5 Hour Energy commercials over the years just to watch their shifting pitches.
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# ? May 17, 2013 11:46 |
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muscles like this? posted:It'd be interesting to watch a compilation of all the 5 Hour Energy commercials over the years just to watch their shifting pitches. I always thought it was a mistake for them to go after coffee drinkers. I mean coffee drinkers love coffee for the most part, and if you start knocking coffee as something one shouldn't drink, you'll just anger your target audience. The better strategy would be to go after the RedBull/Rockstar crowd and play up the fact that those have poo poo tons of sugar and 5 Hour Energy doesn't.
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# ? May 17, 2013 13:52 |
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Somebody did, I forget who but they showed a Tony Montana style mound of sugar and said "this is in every can of Rockstar and Monster"
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# ? May 17, 2013 13:59 |
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5-Hour Energy may not be the only people making a product you don't need and are probably better off without, but they are particularly bad at marketing it. I'd like to take this opportunity to bring up this 5-Hour Energy commercial again: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSHCbizqIo0 They actually thought this parade of obvious half-truths would fool people. dijon du jour fucked around with this message at 17:41 on May 17, 2013 |
# ? May 17, 2013 17:39 |
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muscles like this? posted:TV trend I'm getting tired of in commercials, that loving Imagine Dragons song being used for every goddamn upcoming thing. I feel like we're at an all-time low in terms of terrible music in commercials.
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# ? May 17, 2013 18:33 |
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dijon du jour posted:5-Hour Energy may not be the only people making a product you don't need and are probably better off without, but they are particularly bad at marketing it. 5-Hour Energy commercials also have a small disclaimer in a black box at the end of every commercial that says "These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease," including this one. I don't know about you, but if my primary care physician recommended me something that's not been evaluated by the FDA and is not intended to treat any illnesses I may be suffering from that may be the cause of my lack of energy, then I would go straight to the medical board and have the doctor's license revoked immediately. "Doctor, I feel incredibly weak and cold and lethargic all the time. It hurts to do anything, and sometimes I even pass out because I am completely drained of energy." "Here, take this 5-Hour Energy and you'll be all better!!" "But doc, aren't you gonna check me for anything? Maybe I have cancer, have some sort of deficiency or a rare disease." "Nope! Trust me, I'm a doctor. Drink this 5-Hour Energy." *passes out and falls to floor; blood starts pouring out of eyes, nose and ears* *to the unconscious patient's face* "5-Hour Energy, IT'S EXTREME!!!"
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# ? May 17, 2013 19:36 |
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dijon du jour posted:5-Hour Energy may not be the only people making a product you don't need and are probably better off without, but they are particularly bad at marketing it. Its like they looked at those old cigarette ads that got banned and decided, "Hey, lets do that!"
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# ? May 17, 2013 19:38 |
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404GoonNotFound posted:The best part is that due to a series of lawsuits, Five Hour Energy is no longer allowed to claim that they actually provide energy nor last a full five hours. That's what they get for disparaging the good name of coffee.
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# ? May 17, 2013 19:39 |
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dijon du jour posted:5-Hour Energy may not be the only people making a product you don't need and are probably better off without, but they are particularly bad at marketing it. You call that bad marketing, but these fuckers made billions off of this poo poo. hahahahahahaha
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# ? May 17, 2013 19:44 |
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You Are A Elf posted:5-Hour Energy commercials also have a small disclaimer in a black box at the end of every commercial that says "These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease," including this one. I don't know about you, but if my primary care physician recommended me something that's not been evaluated by the FDA and is not intended to treat any illnesses I may be suffering from that may be the cause of my lack of energy, then I would go straight to the medical board and have the doctor's license revoked immediately. To be fair, that's a very standard disclaimer and I've never heard of this product or other energy drinks being used to treat symptoms of what anyone thinks is an illness. Usually it's just that someone only got 3 hours of sleep before a workshift or is hungover and likes to deal with it that way. Note that all they claim the doctors said is that people who are using energy supplements anyway should try to use low-calorie types. That said, I think it's an awful product. And if you get to the point where you've developed a dependency because you're only sleeping 5 hours every single night, or worse, you don't have any why, then yeah you should probably see a doctor. I'm sure (god I hope) that nearly any doctor would then advise lifestyle changes or try actual diagnosis and medication.
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# ? May 17, 2013 19:51 |
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5 hour energy works perfectly fine when I make the 15-17 hour drive from my house back to my parents' house once a year.
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# ? May 17, 2013 20:04 |
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The detestable 5 hour energy commercial around here is this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJn6vpVbUM0 Caffeine + vitamins!
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# ? May 17, 2013 20:18 |
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That disclaimer is on any product that the company wants to sell as kinda medicinal but not have the FDA check its ingredients or efficacy
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# ? May 17, 2013 20:19 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KUoUb2jEj4 I see this commercial at least 5 or 6 times a day lately. All I can think while watching it is "So that's what it's like when manic pixie dream girls age beyond the range where people think it's cute."
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# ? May 17, 2013 23:23 |
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I'd like to think that woman stole all the things in that commercial.
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# ? May 17, 2013 23:33 |
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veedubfreak posted:5 hour energy works perfectly fine when I make the 15-17 hour drive from my house back to my parents' house once a year. I'm in the same boat. It's probably just a placebo effect, but a bottle of energy drank does seem to make the last couple of hours of a 10+ hour drive not so horrible. Of course, a bag of chocolate covered espresso beans works even better.
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# ? May 18, 2013 00:12 |
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Pretty sure this ad was mentioned before, but tired of the "Bing Challenge" ads where they lucky find the world dumbest people who somehow liked that crappy search engine over Google.
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# ? May 18, 2013 07:37 |
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I once took a 3 hour nap and drank a bottle of 5 hour energy and I felt just fine. I did drink the 5 hour energy before my nap, and it didn't keep me from falling asleep at all.
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# ? May 18, 2013 10:22 |
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I ended up getting that stupid Accucheck Nano jingle stuck in my head this moring, and it led me to wonder just what kind of dreams have to be crushed for someone to take the gig singing it. Maybe they had aspirations of being the next Britney or Adele, but here they are now.
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# ? May 18, 2013 12:06 |
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Mahoning posted:
Then Redbull/RockStar/Monster make a commercial highlighting their sugar free variants that give you same stuff in a bigger drink for the same money.
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# ? May 18, 2013 12:22 |
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Miss Kalle posted:I ended up getting that stupid Accucheck Nano jingle stuck in my head this moring, and it led me to wonder just what kind of dreams have to be crushed for someone to take the gig singing it. Maybe they had aspirations of being the next Britney or Adele, but here they are now. Someone needs to make "Behind the Music: Commercial Jingles"
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# ? May 18, 2013 15:52 |
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Miss Kalle posted:I ended up getting that stupid Accucheck Nano jingle stuck in my head this moring gently caress you for even bringing this up, because now it's stuck in my head too. I would honestly probably love that song if it wasn't about blood glucose meters.
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# ? May 18, 2013 16:39 |
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Gonz posted:I'd like to think that woman stole all the things in that commercial. I pretend it's not her house.
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# ? May 18, 2013 16:46 |
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Miss Kalle posted:I ended up getting that stupid Accucheck Nano jingle stuck in my head this moring, and it led me to wonder just what kind of dreams have to be crushed for someone to take the gig singing it. Maybe they had aspirations of being the next Britney or Adele, but here they are now. It's not as dream crushing as whoever had to sing this poo poo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWVA7epfiRk
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# ? May 18, 2013 18:12 |
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Well, it's official. I'm sick of the Wendy's chick. She's starting to get a bit arrogant about it.
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# ? May 18, 2013 18:21 |
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Tragedienne posted:Someone needs to make "Behind the Music: Commercial Jingles" One of the radio bumpers in Grand Theft Auto goes We hate singing this poo poo But our record deal fell through It's Flash FM
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# ? May 18, 2013 18:59 |
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Tragedienne posted:Someone needs to make "Behind the Music: Commercial Jingles" Yeah, doing commercial jingles suck. Just ask this guy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxS6rfuWdPM
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# ? May 18, 2013 19:10 |
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Mister Kingdom posted:Well, it's official. I'm sick of the Wendy's chick. She's starting to get a bit arrogant about it. She was arrogant from the get go with the very first commercial of her condescending a woman looking at salads in a supermarket. *to the salads the woman is looking at* "OH HI GUYS HOW'S EVERYONE DOING TODAY??? :iamafag:" *to the woman herself* "They've all been here since yesterday and I'm glad to see everyone is back " Terrible.
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# ? May 19, 2013 02:59 |
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raditts posted:It's not as dream crushing as whoever had to sing this poo poo: I hate every single commercial that uses background music like that. The same note, hammered on at the same tempo for the entire commercial, coupled with sorta whispered vocals, drives me up the loving wall.
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# ? May 19, 2013 04:04 |
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Mister Kingdom posted:Well, it's official. I'm sick of the Wendy's chick. She's starting to get a bit arrogant about it. I just feel bad for the real Wendy. Can you imagine what it must be like, sitting in front of a bunch of suits who are in charge of your father's empire (which bears your name and face, albeit in caricature) and being told "Yeah, you're too fat and boring for our commercials"? Especially when Dave Thomas himself was a hefty dude without supermodel good looks.
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# ? May 19, 2013 04:44 |
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Except she totally does show up in their commercials? They have two sets, one with fake Wendy and one with real Wendy.
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# ? May 19, 2013 04:50 |
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Wendy's should let Paul Verhoven, David Lynch or Lars von Trier direct a series of commercials for them.
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# ? May 19, 2013 05:00 |
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T-mobile Frankenstein commercial? Same premise as the Geico caveman. Still dumb.
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# ? May 21, 2013 21:38 |
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muscles like this? posted:Except she totally does show up in their commercials? They have two sets, one with fake Wendy and one with real Wendy. Real Wendy looks like she has a severe case of lockjaw whenever she talks. Words come out, her cheeks puff with air, but...nothing much seems to happen with her mouth. It's creepy.
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# ? May 21, 2013 23:52 |
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Tragedienne posted:Someone needs to make "Behind the Music: Commercial Jingles" Jimmy Page started as a session and jingle musician, there are happy endings!
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# ? May 22, 2013 00:26 |
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piratepilates posted:Teeth whitening commercials are the scourge of the earth. Never before has there been a set of commercials that are so useless, manipulative and outright annoyingly dumb. They all have that same premise of attractive woman looking at their teeth and thinking oh ho hum my teeth just aren't white enough. My teeth are actually permanently dyed a yellowish color by a medication I was taking when they were growing in. I'm starting to get a very deep understanding of how teenage girls get eating disorders. Edit- Woops, I opened page 1 and scrolled a bit, not the last page. Still true.
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# ? May 22, 2013 00:43 |
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Mythbusters were planning on doing an episode about teeth whitening products but they got completely shut down by Discovery Channel corporate.
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# ? May 22, 2013 00:46 |
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muscles like this? posted:Mythbusters were planning on doing an episode about teeth whitening products but they got completely shut down by Discovery Channel corporate. Not really a huge loss. Several independent studies have shown most of the products don't do a drat thing, and the ones that do give very limited whitening, and it doesn't last. You really have to go to your dentist and get a professional whitening to see any appreciable improvement.
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# ? May 22, 2013 01:07 |
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# ? Apr 26, 2024 09:45 |
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I'm tired of hearing I Love it by Icona Pop. It's appearing in more and more commercials.
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# ? May 22, 2013 21:24 |